Taze Meme Bro

Phat + Sharpie

March 18, 2023
Categories: alcohol, Aliens, Balls, Douche-bagger, fucking genius, In the face, Lazy Man's Lobster, Moist, oxycontin, Remembrance, slut, this post sucks, Waddle Massage, Weekend Memes . . Author: Pupster

95 Comments

  1. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 6:10 am

    Was that your long ass way of telling me there are no more tan M&Ms?

  2. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 6:33 am

    I did a trial of three different potting soils. I wanted a fine textured seed starter mix so I passed each one through a 1/4″ mesh. All three had significant amounts of wood chips and chunks and sticks in them as filler. Disappointing, this seems to be the trend. Wood in the soil will stunt your plants, people. Outrageous. Anyway, then I mixed the refined soils with perlite and fine vermiculite and sowed them each with identical onion seeds. Only Pennington brand is growing nice hearty onion seedlings in it. The other two -Expert Gardener and Whitney Farms- are stunted and have not grown much since germination. I’m transplanting those into more Pennington today and hoping they will catch up. Ridiculous.

  3. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 6:59 am

    Not that I know squat about this topic but yesterday I got a Fedco email with their liquid seaweed fertilizer and since we were just talking about using seaweed as fertilizer it caught my eye. Anyway, the print said it was great for onion starts. Whatever those are

  4. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 7:00 am

    Probably unrelated to onion sharts

  5. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:04 am

    They are really just seedlings, Jimbro. A lot of people don’t start their own onion seeds, they buy bundles of ‘starts’ from a big farm. Uprooted, stored seedlings.
    Onions are heavy feeders, I bet they would love seaweed extract.

  6. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:07 am

    Going to make a nice pot roast with gravy and mashed or roasted taters tomorrow, because it’s going to be a cold day.

    Not sure what to cook for dinner today.

  7. Comment by Pupster on March 18, 2023 7:16 am

    Onions like pot roast too.

  8. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:21 am

    https://9gag.com/gag/abv13LX

  9. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:22 am

    Yes, yes they do Pupster

  10. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:36 am

    OMGLOL
    https://9gag.com/gag/aDY7BRd

  11. Comment by mare on March 18, 2023 7:40 am

    Heart emoji.

  12. Comment by Pupster on March 18, 2023 7:49 am

    Wait, Scott’s Australian?

    Huh.

  13. Comment by Pupster on March 18, 2023 7:50 am

    Three years is a pretty good run, mate. G’day to ya.

  14. Comment by Pupster on March 18, 2023 7:52 am

    Next week’s BBF has too much content. Too much. I could run her for a month and not run out. It’s a good problem to have, I just don’t want to miss anything and DAMN there’s another page.

  15. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:56 am

    When she said she did that for three years I fucking lost it

  16. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 8:18 am

    The fact she was able to tell the joke with a calm voice was what got me – just a matter of fact account of the details

  17. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 8:19 am

    Voles are adorable but the gloves have come off when it comes to my garden.

    22 degrees this morning. Supposed to be the same the next two mornings. Put buckets over my peonies and more leaf mulch (loosely) over the emerging tulips.

  18. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 8:26 am

    Beasn, plant castor beans all around your garden. I have seeds if you need some. The roots go down, voles go away.
    Quite poisonous and rodent-repellent.
    I grew some red-foliaged ones in my front flower border and collected a bunch of the seeds.

  19. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 8:34 am

    wakey wakey

  20. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 8:38 am

    I made a sort of pot roast, with gravy, the other day. No mashed taters, just baked.

    The sort of…was a big honking sirloin that was supposed to be grilled but the husband was too tired to fire up the grill. So I pot roasted it with broth, onions, carrots, and mushrooms.
    (Bought a pack of five ginormous sirloin steaks from Costco for $42. One was equivalent to almost 3…8oz renegades from Long Horn…which happen to be 16.99 apiece. Score!!)

    Speaking of scoring, went to Fresh Thyme (a smaller version of Whole Foods) the other day in search of arugula and was pleasantly surprised to find that not only did they have arugula on sale for over a dollar cheaper then the regular grocery used to have, but they had the large packs of chicken wings on sale for .99/lb. Too bad I don’t have the freezer space…so I only got two.

  21. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 8:44 am

    Ooo, thanks Lumps, I’ll look to see if my regular garden haunts has those. I’ll give you a holler if they don’t.

    I just recently put those poison pellets down the holes, which I hate doing. Only did it because the last set of traps didn’t get a one. It will stop them for a couple of months.

  22. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on March 18, 2023 9:43 am

    Mrs. Sanders taught me typing. One of the local grocery stores gave out brown paper book covers with their advertising. They had some adhesive that didn’t work very well, so we either used masking tape or creased the cover enough where it would stay. Those covers were great to doodle on.

    Pranked a co-worker who always checked his voicemail and made calls using his speakerphone. We left him a note to call a vendor, and it was the 1-800 number advertising a gay sex 1-900 line. (No, I did not ask the fellow pranker where he got that number. Some questions shouldn’t be answered.) Pretty sure 1-900 numbers were blocked at work.

  23. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on March 18, 2023 9:46 am

    You think they will actually arrest Trump next week?

  24. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 9:57 am

    That’s the headline I read, put out by Orange Man himself. He may be doing that to fan the flames in advance of that day to try and provoke a reaction from his supporters and the media

  25. Comment by MJ (ghee/ghem) on March 18, 2023 10:06 am

    I assumed this is the 10000 time the walls are closing in but I’m not so sure anymore.

    I just don’t see how they arrest him. The feds would have to be involved and Joe Biden isn’t that stupid, right?

    OH SHIT.

    Trump is going to be arrested next week.

  26. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 10:13 am

  27. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 10:14 am

    They really need the distraction. Orange Man bad is all they have no matter how bad the look is.

  28. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 18, 2023 10:28 am

    KJP will say Joe’s got nothing to do with it, it’s entirely at the discretion of the NY state AG. She may even tell some lies about the importance of our distributed system of powers and state’s rights.

  29. Comment by Hotspur on March 18, 2023 11:03 am

    I did a trial of three different potting soils. I wanted a fine textured seed starter mix so I passed each one through a 1/4″ mesh. All three had significant amounts of wood chips and chunks and sticks in them as filler. Disappointing, this seems to be the trend. Wood in the soil will stunt your plants, people. Outrageous. Anyway, then I mixed the refined soils with perlite and fine vermiculite and sowed them each with identical onion seeds. Only Pennington brand is growing nice hearty onion seedlings in it. The other two -Expert Gardener and Whitney Farms- are stunted and have not grown much since germination. I’m transplanting those into more Pennington today and hoping they will catch up. Ridiculous.

    Please keep us posted.

  30. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 11:06 am

    I’m wearing my new/only pair of sweatpants today. I’m the weirdo who hasn’t had sweatpants for at least 30 years if not longer. I’ve always associated them with fat neckbeards hanging around playing videogames and wiping Cheeto dust on them to protect their game controller as opposed to actual, you know, athletic wear. Not that I’m doing anything more athletic than typing this comment in them but it was a conscious decision to say, “Today I am lounging”.

  31. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 11:15 am

    Today I discovered I’m not the favorite twin made me laugh hard.

  32. Comment by Mitchell on March 18, 2023 11:16 am

    Sweatpants are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  33. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 11:19 am

    It was a spontaneous purchase prompted by buying birthday presents for Paula. Her primary attire is athletic wear and the closest she gets to lingerie is work out booty shorts.

    Repeat after me: Booty. Shorts.

    So as I changed the laundry over a couple of weeks ago I noted the brand and size of an example of said booty shorts and went to Born Primitive which is an odd name for a company selling athletic wear. They also had men’s sweatpants on sale and I said, what the heck, it’s high time for God to prove he loves me and wants me happy. So I got a few gifts for her as well that we will both enjoy for different reasons. What can I say, I’m a giver.

  34. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 11:26 am

    When men wear sweatpants, do they have to get bareassed to pee? I mean, there’s no fly, right?

  35. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 18, 2023 11:41 am

    You can pull down just the front.

  36. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 11:49 am

    You’re ruining it for me

  37. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 11:50 am

    Jonah Goldberg should probably just stick to dog tweets all day long.

  38. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 18, 2023 11:50 am

    Or you can pull one leg all the way up to let it down.

  39. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 11:58 am

    I’m going to just roll the left leg up to the knee …

  40. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 11:59 am

    … and pee myself

  41. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 12:00 pm

    T-Pain covering War Pigs. Apparently he’s done a whole album of covers. All the metalheads are talking about this one though.

  42. Comment by Pupster on March 18, 2023 12:02 pm

    I’m going to just roll the left leg up to the knee ankle…

    Fixt.

  43. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 12:20 pm

    Nap taken.
    Menopause sucks arachnid balls and drs need to get their heads out their arses regarding hrt.

    I cried uncle and my doc reluctantly prescribed a low dose patch of estradiol (bhrt). I’m thinking I need a higher dose. Im 6.5 weeks out. But were I not on it, that nap would not have happened.
    The hotflashes are less frequent and when they do happen, they are warm, not hot and schweatty, and my urethra/nether regions are less twitchy/dry/burny. TMI, but IDC, it’s miserable.

    I made an appt with a functional med Dr who treats the whole person and does hormones too. Soonest they could get me in to see him is NOVEMBER. So I scheduled with the nurse for August. There are only a couple others in the area but I’ll have to ask around about them. Pretty sure coof b.s. got them lots more patients.

  44. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 18, 2023 12:21 pm

    That’s the best bit of music you’ve ever linked here, Car in.

  45. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 12:27 pm

    Since a few if us or wives are in the same boat, I follow the following on youtubes:

    Menopause Taylor- (she’s a bit wacky, but she’s thorough)

    Balance Menopause – a GP who saw a need and opened a clinic for women, not associated with the NHS, in the UK. More low key than the one above, but also thorough.

    Hot and Flashy.

  46. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 12:29 pm

    Beasn, I just saw an article about that topic and skimmed through it (it was a long ass article). Supposedly the dogma about HRT being “bad” is not entirely true based on evidence after years of research since some big study saying it was bad.

    It’s the NYT but it was a good article

  47. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 12:29 pm

    These people are trying to turn America into a third-world country.

    Trying? Wtf has he been snoozing?
    “Now we finish the job” – the jug-earred f*ck

  48. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 12:52 pm

    Jimbro, thanks!
    Yes, it appears we have been misled. It was the Women’s
    (world?) Health Initiative and it looks to have been quite flawed.
    Some points I remember the above from youtubes have said about it..
    The only hormones they had at the time was urine from pregnant horses.
    The women they used for the study…avg age around 70, so by that time cardiovascular and other issues were already manifest.
    When the numbers were looked at closely, hrt did not increase breast cancer…and very low risk of clots.

    Breast cancer is the fear that was instilled in drs and patients. But after menopause, heart disease gets about half of us. Osteoporosis is 1 in 3.

    The hormones they have now are body identical in that they are derived from yams or soy and their receptors fit perfectly on our estrogen receptors we have all over our body. If taken transdermally, it goes directly into the blood stream and poses no risk for clots. If taken via pill, it has to be processed thru the liver, thus the very tiny risk of clots.

    The key is to get on them the earlier in your menopause the better (perimenopause, even better). There is a 5 to 10 year window.

    Also, there are 22 symptoms…or warning lights…your body gives off, during your hormone deficiency. Hotflashes, nightsweats, brain fog, vaginally atrophy, UTIs, etc
    The worst is the insomnia, anxiety, and resulting depression.
    I can see where dementia takes root.

  49. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 1:27 pm

    My wife didn’t go through menopause until she was 55 and suffered no side effects. No hot flashes or any of that stuff. Other than drying up down there it was a nonevent.

  50. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 1:36 pm

    55 still not in menopause. Maybe the beginnings but barely.

  51. Comment by Mitchell on March 18, 2023 1:37 pm

    So I have an small, odd mystery today. This house came with a stove with a black glass range top. Looks nice but is a pain to keep clean. Just walked by it and noticed some crumbs or something up in one corner. I was just going to wipe them away but they looked strange, like very small bugs. I got out a magnifying glass and confirmed they were actually small flies of some sort, five total. I looked and found a few others in different places. Why were they attracted to the stovetop and why did they die in that one area?

  53. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 1:41 pm

    CSI: Drosophila

  54. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 1:45 pm

    Pendejo, your wife is lucky in that regard, but she needs to keep an eye out for the Big Three….osteoporosis, heart disease, and breast cancer…and take care of her health accordingly. No symptoms does not equal “out of the woods”.

    57 was when I was officially through it. I was having symptoms off/on the two years before but they really went turbo after my surgery. It sucks.

    And you know what my gyno suggested when I went to her for irritation down yonder? Rub some olive oil on it. Oh, and you can’t wipe..you must dab dry. (Tissue gets so thin, wiping makes it bleed. No more soap..you must rinse.

  55. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 1:56 pm

    Another tool to put in your covid toolbox…turmeric. Study links are in the description box.

  56. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 2:00 pm

    My wife has dodged a stroke at 50 and open heart surgery at 54. With no lingering after affects from either other than numbness in her left foot from the stroke. She’s lost about 100 lbs since then and seems to be fit as a fiddle now. I’m damned blessed to have her and wouldn’t survive long without her.

  57. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:00 pm

    Those memes are pretty good, Jimbro. Though the one with the little kids creeped me out. Looks like he’s going in for a sniff of the little girl.

  58. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:05 pm

    100 lbs? That’s wonderful, pendejo. Good for her, it is extremely hard to lose weight at our age. And I don’t care what mare (calm your tits mare, I’m kidding) says about you, you’re a sweetheart.

  59. Comment by Mrs. Peel on March 18, 2023 2:12 pm

    Someone convince me to open my work laptop and get to it. I have like 10 hrs worth of shit that has to get done this weekend, and if I don’t do some of it today, I’m going to have a very long day tomorrow.

  60. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 2:13 pm

    Can’t see that NYT article. Shame. We were taught in nursing school that HRT leads to cancer.

  61. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:22 pm

    One reason why so many women start packing on pounds and finding it hard to lose them, at menopause, is because as your gonads stop producing estrogen, the body, which has been bathed in them most of it’s life and craves them to work properly, begins to store it in fat cells to hold onto them.

  62. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:24 pm

    Lumps, it’s not true.

  63. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:25 pm

    Another from Dr. Newsom

  64. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:30 pm

    Menopause Taylor..she has a shit ton of videos you can binge on…going back 5 to 6 years. Lots of “lessens” that go in order.. Search her channel for hrt and cancer..or heart disease, etc.

    youtu.be/zRyBvObXKDE

  65. Comment by beasn on March 18, 2023 2:40 pm

    Now, not all women can take it due to estrogen sensitive cancers or other health issues, but for most, it can be safe.

    Prior to that flawed health initiative, hormone replacement was a standard treatment….and that was horse piss. Current bhrt, is body identical. It fits perfectly on our estrogen receptors.

  66. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 2:54 pm

  67. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 3:04 pm

    Guess what I just learned. GUESS. You can’t.

    So, heartworm meds are VERY expensive, especially for large dogs since you basically just have to buy double or triple the pills … for Moose, he needs TWO of the large sized ones.

    Moose alone is $25 a month let alone all the other dogs. But just guess what I can use… GUESS.

    Ivermectin.

    Yep.

    IVER-FUCKIN-MECTIN. For a fraction of the price.

  68. Comment by Mitchell on March 18, 2023 3:05 pm

    Fluoride in the water is no bueno? https://tinyurl.com/45r86v8h

  69. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 3:07 pm

    Because you know what is in Heartguard? Just guess.

    I bet you can.

  70. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2023 3:09 pm

    It’s all lies.

    Pat says this MJ line about everyday.

  71. Comment by osoloco11 on March 18, 2023 3:24 pm

    Great job, Puppeh.

  73. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 3:59 pm

    One of you smart people splain the girl dating the whistle cartoon.

  74. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on March 18, 2023 4:08 pm

    It’s a rape whistle.

  75. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 4:34 pm

    Okay. I didn’t know there was such a thing.

  76. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 4:53 pm

    Just put the last batch in the canner.
    Still have a lot left to process, but not today.

  77. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 5:06 pm

    Tomorrow or the next day I’m canning homemade beef stew, which was my favorite recipe from a canning session a couple years ago. Soooo good.

  78. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 5:12 pm

    Interesting article on fluoridation, Mitchell, thanks.

  79. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 5:41 pm

    https://frozendeadguydays.com/#page

  80. Comment by Pendejo on March 18, 2023 5:55 pm

    How’d you run across that?

  81. Comment by osoloco11 on March 18, 2023 7:08 pm

    Beasn, I am so sorry that you are going through such a horrible ordeal.

  82. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 7:26 pm

    We were in Estes Park in 2017. We hiked in Rocky Mountain National Park. I struck up a pretty good conversation with a lady in line for the loo at a Ranger’s station and after a while she asked me if I was an American citizen.

  83. Comment by Brother Tim on March 18, 2023 7:42 pm

    War Pigs sure as hell hits differently these days.

  84. Comment by scott on March 18, 2023 8:37 pm

    I was on ivermectin all winter. No heartworm.

  85. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 8:38 pm

    Pendejo, I’ve seen the story about the frozen guy a bunch of times over the years on a variety of sites. Today it was in the WSJ and the article was focused on moving the festival from small town Nederland to Estes Park as well as the background story. There wasn’t a link to that page but, as you can imagine, it was the top hit on a search of Frozen Dead Guy Days

  86. Comment by Jimbro on March 18, 2023 8:41 pm

    No mosquitoes in the winter

    https://tinyurl.com/8ak3snwu

  87. Comment by lumps on March 18, 2023 9:08 pm

    Not true, Jimbro. We get snow mosquitoes in February here. I remember some years really bad, come home from work and see them descending in clouds as we run up the driveway.
    The joys of living by a swamp.
    Of course, I don’t know if they are part of that particular parasite’s life cycle.

  90. Comment by MCPOAirdale on March 18, 2023 9:52 pm

    If you’re finished playing Irish, please return your green, Shenanigans sweatshirt to the closet.

  91. Comment by scott on March 18, 2023 9:54 pm

    Good to see you, MCPO.

  92. Comment by MCPOAirdale on March 18, 2023 10:02 pm

    Good to be seen, Scott

  93. Comment by Sobek on March 18, 2023 10:49 pm

    Dinner tonight was a lentil minestrone with orechiette pasta, and for dessert I made apple-cherry-cardamom crumble. It was yummy.

  94. Comment by Sean M. on March 19, 2023 3:46 am

    Defensible edifices require provisions.

  95. Comment by Jimbro on March 19, 2023 6:29 am

    Rock Around the Croc: Three Chords and the Truth


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