Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

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I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

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Fat man:

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Fat Cat:

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Fat Dog:

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Fat mouse:

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Fat horse:

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Fat Patrick Star:

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I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

chinese_diet

 

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

Quickie Meme

Lets see how fast I can throw this together

AHumanFartCanBe Louder

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Meme was Yesterday

No, we haven’t skipped Tuesday, stay tuned!

I know, you were scared. It’s ok.

I’ll give you some memes now.

HeyLoser

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Monday Filler Poat

The old poat was starting to smell stale from a hard weekend, so here’s a fresh one.

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Miscellaneous Memorial Monday

Leon is busy so I figured I’d throw up something to make up for forgetting to come up with a poat last Monday. Links will be light, because WordPress is a fucking disaster and keeps crashing on me every two minutes. Obviously, this will be a solemn affair, in light of the passing of Car in due to her disastrous decision to run the Ragnar. The initial autopsy suggests that she overdosed on Tool‘s latest album somewhere around mile 28. In lieu of flowers, her family is asking for donations to the Foundation to Force Feed Taylor Swift a Fucking Sandwich.

First, some traditional MMM fare. It’s always good to start a workout with some bodyweight exercises as a warm-up.

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Memegrass

Today, we have a new music category!

I may not survive to write more posts, so enjoy it while you can!

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Emergency Puns!

There has been a request to post something, so I threw together the worst puns I could imagine.

CoolRoundTable

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The Cars

We’ve already had a couple of Cars songs in Jay’s post as a tribute to Ric Ocasek but since I’m a bigger fan of the group I’m going to carry it over to this post. My older brother and I used to share a room and he’d listen to his transistor radio at night after lights out. Usually WBCN which didn’t suck back in the 70’s. One night he told me to listen closely because a really good group was going to be broadcast live from the Paradise Club in Boston.

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MMM 383

Not really feeling it today.  I realized that looking for these pictures is starting to feel like a real chore.  Not sure if I’m bored, distressed at all the e-thots, or just tired of doing these after 383 posts.  I need to think up some new content for Mondays.

In the meanwhile, it looks warm there.

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MMM 382

Last gasp of Summer this week, forecast says 80s and 90s from tomorrow on.  60s right now.  We shall see.

Looks warm there.

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