You people make me sick. We spent an entire day talking about turtlenecks when there are very real and important things going on in the world!
1. Some chick no one has ever heard of was asked not to be rude by the guy whose job is to chastise rude people.
2. Some homeless lady was the butt of a mild joke about her hair which was racist and also anti-domicileless.
3. A cranky alcoholic colicky baby who is running for president in 2020 mentioned the chick no one had ever heard about and the homeless lady.
4. Car in called me twice just to talk.
Ok fine, I made that last one up but the rest are 100% real stories that were covered wall to wall by the very serious gossip columnists we pretend are reporters and journalists. And you
trogdilytes trogdelites trogderplites losers decided to make the funneh about foreskin.
Hello weekday and weekend warriors. This has been a really interesting week for the MJ household. First, I found out that although interpuppet sex generally doesn’t end with procreation, we have succeeded. Second, wiser can suck a dick, nay a whole bag of them. And finally, the blog really misses Cyn. Whatever Jimbro, Pupster, and James did to run her off will requires punishment. I suggest that we each send them a flaming bag of gratitude.
I wrote this song for Hotspur.
Here is a pic of your mom:
Feel free to add updates. Let’s make this a community project.
I got some funny. /car in
This would have been good yesterday, but that’s Leon’s gig.
I’ll choke a bitch.
Moose is looking forward to the summer already – this is from LAST summer, of course.
I got banged up in :laguna beach this night.
Please to pardon my foolish phantasms.
Just my luck
Hola bishes. Long time no escribo.
This is a 100% true story that is completely, honestly, 100% on the level with the truth. Estoy siendo honesto, punta maricones. I wouldn’t lie to anyone.
Anonche, en mi cama, I had a vision of a delicious cocktail. Was it the first signs of a budding addiction (it wasn’t)? Was it an implanted memory from our conversation last night (not likely)? Was it a reaction to a brain that will never quite shut off (possibly)? First symptoms of syphilis contracted from your mom (bingo)?
The answer is yes. Never mind what’s in the parenthesis. As you know from watching CNN they like to make sure that headlines are correctomundo as they interpret. But I digress.
What was this sueno de grandeza? It’s the cocktail to end all cocktails. A swanky, frothy, cream filled bananalicious, stripper referencing libation named the Dicking Bimbo!
Grab yourself a blender and get busy with this recipe:
1 oz vanilla or cake flavored vodka
.5 oz brandy
.5 oz banana liqueur (99 bananas is the best)
1 large, phallic banana
2 oz whipping cream
Put everything in your addiction mixer and whip it up! It tastes a little like bananas foster, but with a kick. Alcohol content: 6.8 chads. Stripper names: 2.
b. yes, Ethiopia
During my research I found this image from another painter that I simply had to include here.
Also from Ethiopia, Addisalem Zewdie
Be excellent to each other.