BBF

Hello hummers and dogs who know the words, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model today was born on March 19, 1995 in Basingstoke, Hampshire, England.  She measures 30G-24-32 on the headturner scale, and stands 5’10” and the obligatory 125 lbs.  Please get off the barre and welcome, Miss Jamie Love aka Alice Brookes!

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BBF

Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies

 

Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

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19th Annual Great Pumpkin Festival

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Dear fuquar’s de hose,

It’s that time of year again…Halloween(er)!!!!!!

As you know, we’ve spent the past 18 years showing each other our pumpkins, and this year is not the time to quit. We are simply 2 legitimate to do so. 2 legit to quit.

This Saturday, at 12pm EST I will begin a thread so scary, so frightening, so goddamn shart inducing that you’ll, er, shart.

Side note: I would like a thesaurus for Christmas. Just sayin’.

See you this Saturday,

MJ

 

 

 

Bill Clinton’s Weenus

 

This will be an exploration of my long held theory that Bill will not allow Pickles McParkinsons to win the election so that he can continue to dick bimbos for the short remainder of his life.

Have you seen the first dude lately? He looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in ten years or that his alleged syphilis is finally winning the war on women. I kid, I kid. He’s a vegan so you know he has syphilis.

So here’s the theory, in case you missed it in my survey class taught at Muppet U, or if you forgot what was written in the first paragraph: Bill will do anything to prevent Smiley McOpenmouth from getting in the oval office. Way too important to keep his little Gore wet. Yes, for those of you scoring at home, he calls his blank shooter Al Gore.

I bet you’re thinking I’m totally wrong. That the allure of being half of the first ever male/female presidential couple is just too, er, alluring. Consider this: whenever things get good for her, he trots out some sorry statement that even he, a veritable Da Vinci of lying can’t clean up.

Man, that’s gonna sting. Don’t get me wrong, no one cares what he said…except for the only man that might actually make a difference in the election: Golfy McOkieDoke. St Trayvon’s Dad is notoriously thin skinned and its well known that Obama and Bill already hate each other. Bill once told Obama that he should be getting him coffee rather than schlonging his wife (that’s Web Hubble’s job) and Obama’s black half never got over it. If you locked these two in a bedroom closet only one would emerge–probably Bill with panties on his head, wearing high heels, but that’s besides the point.  The hate is real my groovy babies, the hate is real.

Weenus + Viagra >Husband + Most Powerful Woman in the World

Its math, and therefore indisputable, although its probably racist.

FIN

 

 

Birthday Wish – Don’t be a dick

Happy Birthday Aprilwine.

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So, yeah.  Not so great of a week.  I’d like to thank Wiserbud for yesterdays poat, and to encourage all the returning commenters to put H2 back on your daily reading list and comment a little more often.  Except for Doc.  Fuck that guy.

Nestled between Erica Campbell’s boobs and your mom jokes, Sean M. had a comment that struck me as worthy of highlighting and quoting, I hope he doesn’t mind:

Tush,

There is a line in a book that has helped to save my life which gives me comfort in times like these, where I can’t see the sense of a thing. It says, “…out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does ‘move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.’”

What that tells me is that everything happens for a reason, and though we may not be able to see that reason right now, maybe we’re supposed to learn something eventually. Or maybe we’re not supposed to have someone or something in our lives anymore because something needs to happen.

I know that this has given me the firm determination to be kinder to the people in my life and to tell them that I am always there for them. I know that this has led me to talk to people who are hurting or struggling, to tell them that it’s okay to reach out so that they don’t have to suffer alone. Maybe these are things that we all needed a reminder to do, or to do more often. I don’t know. But I do know that I want to take this horrible, awful, shitty fucking tragedy and try to see that something, however small, but something good comes out of it.

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Thank you, Sean, for sharing.  I encourage everybody reading this to please take care of yourselves and know that:

THE HOSTAGES ARE HERE FOR YOU.

There are invisible hands reaching out to you.  I’m begging you, with tears in my eyes, don’t be a dick.  Use the power of this fully operational invisible friend machine.  I’ve seen Hostages race to the rescue with generosity that is astounding.  It may take some humility on your part.  I get that.  But if we don’t know, we can’t help.

 

Wire

Karl Fortess

b 1907 Antwerp, Naturalized U.S.  1923, d. 1993

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Saturday Beer Run

Hello my friends.  I have just returned from a whirlwind tour of the parts of Illinois, Missouri and Kansas that nobody ever wants to go to, and I could use a drink.

Or two.

Just one more.

Maybe MJ will be magnanimous and tells us of his European tour.

Special thanks to Colorado Alex for filling in admirably on Friday, and opening up a whole new untapped BBF genre.  

Star Wire

Here’s Jen Stark.  Installation artist.

b. 1983 Miami.  She attended Maryland Institute of Contemporary Art and likes to cut paper.

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Christmas Eve 2015

Santa knows what you like

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