Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

Fuck These Fucking Fucks, FFS

 

So here we are, 100 days into the glorious reign of the God Emperor Donaldus Trump II.

Is America great again? No, but its early. Like you, my patience is about as thin as Mare’s Whoreday panties and I do not trust a single person that is connected to Washington DC.

 

The Bad

Repeal/Replace–May the RINOs of the senate be rushed to the ER with a lightbulb stuck in their collective asses. Upon removal they may find a bright idea, such as repeal/replace. It’s not complicated, assholes.

The budget–May the Freedom Caucus step on their dicks with golf shoes for having the temerity to sink repeal/replace only to turn around and fund PP for the rest of the fiscal year.

 

The Good

Border crossings are down 70+% based solely on a mean look from the based cheeto god. My suggestion is that he get a teardrop tattoo on his cheek then watch the number climb to 90%.

The world seems to think we might be crazy enough to kick ass and drink Diet Coke. They also seem to believe we are running low on Diet Coke.

Neil Fucking Gorsuch.

Serious note–people seem to be more optimistic about the future. I don’t really talk politics much in public but I don’t feel the weight of the pessimism that is being pushed by the media. Things seem good, which may be a reflection on where I live and how life is going, but it really matters when the people at the top are confident of success rather than dead set on decline. We’ve been told to eat our veggies for so long that a delicious taco bowl (we have the best taco bowl’s, don’t we folks?) seems like manna from heaven. It’s just taco Tuesday, but goddamn that seems like a fine idea.

The Ugly

The media and the DNC (Hillary/Obama wing) are pushing some really dangerous shit. The ridiculousness of RUSSIA! and the attempt to subvert a presidency that simply out hustled a terrible politician is going to escalate quickly. And when it does, they’ll blame Trump. They don’t care that people will be hurt, in fact I believe it’s the desired state to wave a bloody shirt.

I’m not really sure who has the ear of the President. I like Ivanka and Jared and I really like the tax plan that was put out but see Mare’s threadbare Whoreday undies referenced above for my trust levels. Jury is out on the D’s in the White House. 

Goofy Shit is Endearing. Fuck Being ‘Too Cool’ Like Obama

 

 

 

 

Have You Hugged A Crustacean Lately?

Invertebrates need love too. Jam out with your literal clam out!

Part of the B-52’s shtick in the 80’swas imitating the surf guitar sound of the 60’s and the women in the group adopted the beehive hairstyles of the 50’s-60’s. Are we being set up for a 90’s revival in music and fashion?  Rural Maine is hardly the vanguard of cutting edge but thanks to the internet young people can imitate each other amazingly quick today.

One trend that seems to get revived whenever there’s a Republican in office is 60’s style protests by the Left. It has become so formulaic that it is now parody. Thanks to the internet (again!)  we can criticize their actions in a manner unavailable to previous generations of conservatives. What it boils down to is, rather than seeming bold and confrontational, their protests are met with eye rolling and expressions of “Oh, that same old shit again”.

Big Boob Friday

Hello weekday and weekend warriors. This has been a really interesting week for the MJ household. First, I found out that although interpuppet sex generally doesn’t end with procreation, we have succeeded. Second, wiser can suck a dick, nay a whole bag of them. And finally, the blog really misses Cyn. Whatever Jimbro, Pupster, and James did to run her off will requires punishment. I suggest that we each send them a flaming bag of gratitude.

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I wrote this song for Hotspur.

Sing-along Sunday

Cheerfully stolen off Faceplant and edited to remove the repeated choruses. You can figure ’em out.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

She’d been drinking too much kool aid.
And we begged her not to cheat.
But she wasn’t on medication.
So she made deals with Arabs and DC elites.

(chorus)

When we found her the next morning.
People all screamed Trump was worse.
She had track marks on her forehead.
And incriminating emails in her purse.

Now we’re not real proud of liberals
They’ve not been taking it real well.
See them burning down their cities
Looting stores and overall just raising hell.

Now that Trump has won the White House.
All the snowflakes are about to crack.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Will he let illegals stay or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!

Now the economy is on an upswing.
And Americans sleep in peace. Ahh.
And the red white and blue fireworks.
Remind me how Mattis will deal with the middle east.

I celebrated with all my neighbors.
As Hillary fell from grace.
And now it makes me proud to say
God bless President Trump and the USA!

Cue Hotspur’s favorite quote.

Big Boob Friday

Hello cannonballers. This is a journey into sound…And by sound I mean boobs. Let’s face it (Carly Fiorina), the only reason you’d come here on a Friday is for xBrad’s hilarious jokes and the sweet, sweet sounds of boobs flapping together.

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This song will really makes you want to dance. 

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Today’s model is famous of something other than having big cans. Kidding! She’s an actress that’s famous for knowing how to read lines while the camera focuses on her really big cans! Anyhoo, her name is Diora Baird and apparently she was in a bunch of slasher flix. Imagine her running through a forest in a tank top screaming. That’s her life’s work. Please stop protesting your nazi poop and welcome wasshername!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Camp Wire

 

Put yer, um, hands together and welcome Paul Whackers.

Born in New Haven in 1978, Whackers went to school in D.C. and did his post grad in S.F.

Whackers enjoys painting the still life.

Thank you for viewing.

 

Have a Wonderful day.

 

Wire Place

Today’s artist is Antoine Cordet who lives in gay Paris.

He originally was a student of Architecture but you know how it goes.

I like his style very much.  It speaks French and has a bad attitude.

 

Thanks for viewing.

 

Have a wonderful day.

Nuance

By now, you’ve already seen this:
 

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone! pic.twitter.com/TMBSu187Pb

— The Democrats (@TheDemocrats) May 22, 2015

 
After a number of people pointed out that TFG getting photographed eating ice cream by Tiger Beat kind of isn’t, you know, what Memorial Day is all about, the Dems put up a couple of other tweets. They were a little more appropriate, but instead of, say, a photo of the gravestones at Arlington (admittedly, kind of hard to find), they had inspirational quotes from the Exalted Leader. Of course.
 
Anyway, I thought I’d sample a little bit of what some other political figures were up to on Twitchface this weekend….

I have finally figured out why idiot lib is a lib

Because he’s a fucking idiot. No, seriously, he has proven himself to be really, really stupid.  I’m talking “should be required to have people assigned to him to keep him from eating his own feces” stupid.

It’s been a nice year since we both agreed to stop talking about politics… or anything.  He broke that agreement the other day.  I knew I shouldn’t have engaged him, but he just refuses to shut the fuck up and I have to be there and listen.

Among the many topics that he chose to “enlighten” me on Tuesday night was, of course, global warming.  I mentioned, in passing, that I would like to see someone explain why the climate models that people seem to treat as The Word of God don’t seem to be matching with reality, as evidenced by the current 18+year pause in warming.

“That’s not true.” – he says.

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