Two Days ‘Till Tool Thursday

Well, Jimbro apparently is busy and he asked me yesterday if I could fill in today, and he SPECIFICALLY asked me to do a Tool post (I swear), and I figured … “What the heck? What do I have going on?”   Then Pat ended up in the hospital.  But I put my priorities in order, pulled up my big-cis-girl gender-conforming panties, and got to business.

What *is* Tool? I mean, besides an alt- prog-art-post metal band?  This, according to Maynard:

“Tool is exactly what it sounds like: It’s a big dick. It’s a wrench. … we are … your tool; use us as a catalyst in your process of finding out whatever it is you need to find out, or whatever it is you’re trying to achieve.”

Although not their first album, their popularity started with this song:

Continue reading

Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

4287465-a-scale-with-two-feet-of-the-person-standing-on-it-on-a-wooden-floor-the-scale-says--too-much

I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

th

 

Fat man:

I_578bca_781411

 

Fat Cat:

th-1

 

Fat Dog:

th-2

Fat mouse:

th-3

 

Fat horse:

5c2ff6042c735df4b7e08e9027b1a751

 

Fat Patrick Star:

enhanced-buzz-5666-1379190163-9

 

I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

chinese_diet

 

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

I Wear My Meme Glasses at Night

Yeah, you probably saw that one coming.

Continue reading

MMM 367

Mother’s Day went well at our house, and I pray the same is true in yours.

Not my mom.3rWpQTU.jpg

Continue reading

MMM 364: Financing

I’ve got some running around to do in the immediate future, coping with us being a one-car family for the morning then heading to my credit union to arrange the loan for the new-to-us truck that’s eleven years younger than our old new-to-us truck.  In the midst of that I’ve got morning meetings to not attend.  Good times.

Camo pants.

9pl10ljfc4o21.jpg

Continue reading

No Rush

MJ says today’s brystals will be of the noon-ish flavor.

So you swine will have to wait a lil’ while.

 

Here’s some inspirational posters to help you along.

 

Weekend Meme

Continue reading

You really should go do something more meaningful than read this pos post

Things mawr meaningful:

meaningful-use-stage-3-first-look

 

How about taking up knitting:

Continue reading