Watermelon Douche Chills

Gather round my friends and lend an ear, there’s a tale needs to be told. This is the abridged version. For the complete story you’ll need to pony up 50 cent to my publisher.


You see, there was once a man, so big he shook the ground with each mighty step. For a snack he’d eat an entire ox and pick the gristle from his big-as-a-surfboard teeth with the ox horns.

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Almost time to Whistle -POS Groundhog Style

Marmota monax – a pig by any other name is still your mom.

aka: woodchuck, whistle-pig, or land-beaver (heh)

How many names does she have, one might ask.

So, it’s almost time for the best non-holiday holiday of the year. We’ve been cooped up in our wintry nests long enough that it seems reasonable for us to rely on a rodent to scry  our future – whatevs; the little  beast prolly can’t be any worse at it than the local weather man/woman/person/Akava’ine/ Bakla/Bissu/ Calabai/Fa’afafine/ Fakaleiti/ Hijra/ Kathoey/ Khanith/ Koekchuch/ Māhū Maknyah/ Mukhannathun/ Muxe/ Sworn virgin/ Takatāpui/ Travesti/ Two-Spirit/ Winkte…. you get the point.

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Happy Hostage Thanksgiving

Here it is, the big day. Food, family, fellowship, football, flatulence, fellatio if you’re lucky (hopefully not with your cousin you sicko). Tell your mom that I said “Hello”. We made our turkey this past Sunday since we’re traveling today for dinner at the in-laws. The leftovers have been mostly eaten and the excess frozen to avoid getting the turkey trots.


Carin ought to wear these under her skort for the next turkey trot


That picture with the Pilgrims and turkey runners reminds me of my youth when we would dress up as Pilgrims and Indians and sit around the table eying each other nervously. One year Uncle Bubba blasted a neighbor with his musket when he showed up unexpectedly dressed as a hostile tribe member.

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RimShot – another POS Offering

How many rimshots has your favorite startrek actor taken in the past month – round to the nearest gross.

How much time do you peeps that are gainfully employed waste any given week –

Get out there and skew the Productivity numbers… it’ll give Geoff an opportunity to edify us with some economy numbers.

this should help you burn a few minutes of your life –



https://www.thebalance.com/top-time-wasters-1358000 Continue reading

Merry Christmas

Wow, seems like we were just using our Halloween avatars! Christmas stuff has been on display for weeks in my neck of the woods and I’m sure it’ll be worse the next time I go in a store.

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POS Poat – Reconquista bitches!!!!

I’ve got a friend (of sorts) who purports to be a Messican and is always whining about racism, the plight of the boarder jumpers and welfare scammers blah, blah, blah –

I’ve tried to learn him a few things, economics, race designation, etc – no bueno. So now I just work on irritating him as much as I can. I start and end conversations with him by calling him my southern caucasian brother.

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POS Post – Code Name: Snake Juice

Ahrite you lazy bitches/bitchettes –

get up!

When you hear “Snake Juice” what comes (heh) to mind … ?

No – N0 – NOO!

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HHD – Monkey Style

So – it’s an honor to be allowed to fill in for teh Rocket Chick; i’ll try not to fail to launch this bitch in an appropriate manner (one that your mom would like).

I went the extra mile and commissioned a song to be written specifically for this poat – leon’s pricing was a bit high but he promised that he wouldn’t eat too many ‘shrooms whilst composing this amazing journey of musical  majesty –

What do you think?



now onward to the hunky humps that the hostagettes and jewstin have been waiting for:

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Fun Football Factoids!

As summer’s heat begins to wane (except for here, where it’s expected to be over 100 degrees this week) and a chill creeps into the air, it is time once again for America’s Game! No, not that one–The Footballs!

Now, you can just watch the game, or you can quit being such a fat, worthless, fat fucking pantload and learn some shit about it. Here are a few facts I’ve gleaned about this fascinating subject:
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