This is going to be 90 minutes that we’ll never get back. Joe Biden is one of the dumbest guys to grace the national political stage. Everyone knows this. His family are grifters, his wife is a power hungry hag and his political round table is made up of old, fat, corrupt guys that have absolutely no issue with putting a hand up a skirt or 3. Fuck this guy sideways.
BIDEN
VS
GEOTUS
Leon is probably taking care of very important business and has a great excuse for shirking his Monday responsibility. I’ll fill in with a very intriguing post.
Remember when Chumpo used to post really interesting things about art? This isn’t it –
So Your Boyfriend BO & Your Girlfriend Mooshel had their pictures done; no offense to the skanky (insert Hotspur word)/ wenches that did them, but DAAAAAAMMMMMn!
So I tried my hand at a truly befitting preznitz-dental portrait :
I think it captures the essence of the oblah-blah years.
Well, the Academy Awards are here again. Yay. If you think you’re sick of hearing about them, try living in Southern California. It’s all they talk about on the news for the next goddamn week.
Most of us aren’t big fans of Hollywood (or as one guy I heard one time called it, HollyWEIRD–delightful!) but maybe you saw a couple of the movies that are nominated this year. Are you rooting for La La Land? Hidden Fences? Something else?
Ah, who am I kidding? We’re all boycotting the Oscars. Not for the politics (okay, maybe a little bit because of the politics) but because the most deserving film of the year wasn’t nominated:
I’m just hoping John Wick 2: The Wick and The Dead gets nominated next year. Probably not, though.
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Added, cuz it’s freakin hilarious!
Joe Strummer, the late lead singer from The Clash, would have been 64 today. 2016 has been such a shitty year that I’m frankly surprised he didn’t somehow come back to life only to die again.
Now, I know that punk rock isn’t really most of the Hostages’ favorite kind of music, but these guys are one of my favorite bands. Plus, we needed a new poat until leon puts up tomorrow’s Motivational Madness. And your mom thinks this song rocks.
Let’s just get this out of the way right upfront:
Okay, now that we’ve dispensed with that, on to the poetry:
O, fake internet friends, how they slack off
When the long week’s toil is done and ended.
Whether they do Crossfit or just jack off,
The blog on weekends moulders, unamended.
Exceptions come, sometimes, from our Jimbro
Or if the Puppeh isn’t chasing tail.
But too often we are stuck in limbo
And Friday’s buxom freshness starts to fail.
I know well that all of you have lives
While weekends find me cloistered here at work.
But thirty-some hours on a poat is jive—
Yeah, “jive” is weak; you write the next poem, jerk!
So ends my verse, now let comments commence,
And maybe push this down some hours hence.
And frankly, so am I. You’ve become a bunch of lazy, slothful pieces of shit. I mean, I can excuse people like Hotspur and MCPO who have worked hard all their lives and are enjoying their Golden Years, but what excuse do the rest of you have?
I mean, for God’s sake, we’re almost at the end of the weekend and everyone’s still commenting on a Saturday poat while waiting to get motivated by trannies tomorrow. It’s no wonder this country is going straight to hell.
Okay, now that I’m done calling you assholes, I’m going to hopefully provide you with some motivation before tomorrow with a photo of Cal alum and insanely-hot pole vaulter Allison Stokke:
I have likely touched several surfaces that her ass has also touched.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
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