Beasts

All kinds of fantastic animals

1.2 billion views….  no idea who that is.

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Simple + Machine = Simple Machine

I remember reading about simple machines back in elementary school. Probably read it in an encyclopedia one day. Yeah, pre-internet, pre-video games we lived a boring life. Our parents bought the World Book Encyclopedia and we actually used it since going to the library was a pain in the ass when you didn’t have a car. Or driver’s license for that matter. This quote always puzzled me as a kid

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wtfits tuesday

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Crappy Candy Cornucopia

October. Most normal kids are preoccupied with what “they will be” for Halloween. For other kids, it’s Halloween every day, so, no big deal. Boof. My teen step-son is delighted with volunteering at a local haunted house thing which is kind of a big deal around here. Fright At The Fort is held at Fort Knox (not that one).

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This year it’s a Stephen King theme. Say what you want about his politics and desperate need for an editor but the guy has written some classic horror novels. Anyway, he’s in the Children Of The Corn part of the tour.

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He’s pretty funny with his assessment of the crowd. As the evening wears on the attendees grow older, drunker and higher on marijuana. Some of the drunken idiots don’t take kindly to screaming like a schoolgirl in front of their dates. Every part of the exhibit has adult bouncers in it thankfully.

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Public Urination

What’s up with the current rush to coarsen everything in society. From San Fran to NYC everybody is pissing in the streets.

I thought it was a french tradition. Now it’s all fashionable to drop trou and go…

I guess gone are the simpler times of panhandling.

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You really should go do something more meaningful than read this pos post

Things mawr meaningful:

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How about taking up knitting:

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Everyone Is Racist But Me

Hi there, how’s it heeling?

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POS Spring

So we’re 1 week (+/-) out from teh calendericacal spring and we have nothing but blue skies and butterflies in the forecast (hhe he heeeeeee).

We got enough snow overnight to be irritating enough to cause delays around the are. I checked out Mr. Weatherman and that punk says there’s at least two more weeks of cold weather – down into the teens; the robins and redwing blackbirds better have packed their electric underoos cuz baby it’s gonna be cold out for a little bit longer.

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Watermelon Douche Chills

Gather round my friends and lend an ear, there’s a tale needs to be told. This is the abridged version. For the complete story you’ll need to pony up 50 cent to my publisher.

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You see, there was once a man, so big he shook the ground with each mighty step. For a snack he’d eat an entire ox and pick the gristle from his big-as-a-surfboard teeth with the ox horns.

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Gallimaufry Thursday

Fancy word for a hodgepodge that I’ve never heard before but describes this poat to a “T”. The Oprah made a brave and historic speech the other night at the Golden Globes. At least that’s what every liberal commentator in the MSM is claiming. It’s almost time for the liberal pollsters to tell us her overwhelming odds of victory.

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