What Were We Thinking?

taco tuesday

I hate tacos.

I hate every iota of a taco.

Crunchy, fall apart, playing with your food, nasty damn things….

Valentine’s Day: Menace Or Foe?

Here it is ladies and gentleman, a corporate holiday based on religious tradition where we’re encouraged to buy lots of shit to express our love for that special somebody.

Monkey Meat Madness – Tuesday Tales of the Bush

“I told my children that we cannot continue eating bush meat or any dry meat because we fear that the Ebola is very near now,”

Next thing you know people will stop having sex in the bush too….

Just Pecking Away

So one might think that a “Pecking Away” post might be about the latest currency of exchange for a maudlin teen child being bartered to a man for chickens, but one would be wrong.

Alas another important study has shown a disturbing trend  in the course of events for the American male.

 

Crappy Candy Cornucopia

October. Most normal kids are preoccupied with what “they will be” for Halloween. For other kids, it’s Halloween every day, so, no big deal. Boof. My teen step-son is delighted with volunteering at a local haunted house thing which is kind of a big deal around here. Fright At The Fort is held at Fort Knox (not that one).

This year it’s a Stephen King theme. Say what you want about his politics and desperate need for an editor but the guy has written some classic horror novels. Anyway, he’s in the Children Of The Corn part of the tour.

He’s pretty funny with his assessment of the crowd. As the evening wears on the attendees grow older, drunker and higher on marijuana. Some of the drunken idiots don’t take kindly to screaming like a schoolgirl in front of their dates. Every part of the exhibit has adult bouncers in it thankfully.

Toad Turds Tuesday

Bufo americanus bisches. And don’t you forget it.

The American Toad.

Not to be confused with any of your run of the mill other types of toads. Bufo americanus is the shizzle.

Shut Yer Pie Hole!

Old white man’s term: Vagina

New awesome unicorn term: Front Hole

Today we’re going to play “Which would you prefer to go in your front hole?”

Where’s Jewstin?

This squirrel invasion is getting old. I need Jewstin to re-surface so as he can do what ever squirrel whispering thing is necessary to get his cousins out of my yard.

fromwww.fourty2hundredfeetup.com

So far 18 gray squirrels and 4 chipmunks are tap dancing their way across the great divide and yet the horde still plunders on.

Only six apples left… Hopefully I’m not obsessing.