I think I mentioned in the comment section a glorious conversation I had with my stoner, loser, father in law. Let me expand the conversation so you can laugh and cry along with me.
First, I was down in FL on very short notice to fix up my POS condo that was to be sold. The tenants had trashed the place so I needed to paint, make a few repairs, and get the carpet replaced. Since this is Florida, you can’t count on anyone other than your own cheesebag. Hired cheesebags will stiff you, leave you wondering, and steal the cabinets from the walls if left unattended.
So there I was, after driving 8 hours, busting my ass for two days to repair said shit hole, when my asshole father in law invites me for dinner. Great, I say. No problem. I’ll meet you at your mom’s house (not a euphemism) and we’ll go our for Messican.
Out of the shower and I’m ready to go. Plans have changed, we’re going out for Vietnamese but whatever. I’m hungry and looking forward to some fun with GNDs grandma (she’s 91 and sharp as a tack) and her uncle, who is basically a Hostage. They’re awesome people and serve as a shield to my AHFIL. When I look at dear sweet grandma and ask her if she wants to ride with me, she informs that she’s not going. She thought it would be nice if AHFIL and I could spend time together.
The world stopped. I had gone deaf. Nothing made sense. I blinked, tried to gather my shit and desperately tried to control the fear and shock spreading across my face.
My mind instantly went to the scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Luke, missing a hand, beaten to a pulp, and hanging over the edge of an impossibly long fall, finds out he’s the spawn of Darth Vader. If I were in that situation and Vader was my AHFIL and he informed me in his deep, mechanical voice that he is indeed taking me out for Vietnamese for dinner alone, I would have fucking jumped too. Sweet death take me now.
I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube
The first video I ever sent to Merv.
I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?
The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.
Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.
And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.
Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.
This is going to be 90 minutes that we’ll never get back. Joe Biden is one of the dumbest guys to grace the national political stage. Everyone knows this. His family are grifters, his wife is a power hungry hag and his political round table is made up of old, fat, corrupt guys that have absolutely no issue with putting a hand up a skirt or 3. Fuck this guy sideways.
Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.
Happy birthday to Jimbro! Image search of “sexy lady Maine” gets you this. She’ll do, I think.
Song of the day. The kids chose this for their first dance, not knowing that I put this on a mix tape for Mr. RFH when we were dating long distance.
Now for the hunks. He was a “who dis?” from AoS, and now I don’t remember his name. Whoops. Continue reading →
Hello assorted Hostages, lurkers, lackeys, hangers-on, cretins and other assorted turkey taints! By now most of the family either has or soon will assemble for one of the most hallowed days of football this year. There’s nothing more heartwarming than Cleveland Browns fans thinking they’re going to the Super Bowl. So grab the clam dip and Ruffles chips and scroll on down to be delighted.
