Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

 

Fat man:

 

Fat Cat:

 

Fat Dog:

Fat mouse:

 

Fat horse:

 

Fat Patrick Star:

 

I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

 

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

Meme was Yesterday

No, we haven’t skipped Tuesday, stay tuned!

I know, you were scared. It’s ok.

I’ll give you some memes now.

taco tuesday

I hate tacos.

I hate every iota of a taco.

Crunchy, fall apart, playing with your food, nasty damn things….

Monkey Meat Madness – Tuesday Tales of the Bush

“I told my children that we cannot continue eating bush meat or any dry meat because we fear that the Ebola is very near now,”

Next thing you know people will stop having sex in the bush too….

New Year in Review – a myopic

So the year is well under way.

Sunday Taint

**Mazie Hirono: Kavanaugh enters Supreme Court with ‘huge taint**

I’d like to see Lindsey open up an investigation as to whether or not crazy Hawaii lady is qualified to determine the relative size of taints.

 

HHD

Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. They might be ghey, but they’re not sporting front holes. Let’s get started.

I don’t remember why I saved this one, except older, fit guy. Might be someone famous.

Someone tagged me on FB with a link to hunks, but it was in the middle of flight hardware delivery/delay/college visit/cousin visit/Dad fiasco/FDIL visit/SIL passing and now I can’t find it. Email it to me, please.

Travel Tuesday

So far the outer banks itinerary has been nice. The rain has been impressive. We spent Monday driving around on the beach and trying not to mow people over or hit any of marezee-dotes cousins.

There’s a population of wild horses.

Guess which one is Mare –

These beasts have free reign of the joint. Not sure how many there are in total but there are tours dedicated to looking at them.

A few vehicles got stuck on the beach (rain and tide related) and some cranky old dude was driving around in a very large tow truck charging $500 per hook up….

He evidently lectures you about driving on the beach as part of the service. For five hundred each, he should have had a smile on his face.

You really should go do something more meaningful than read this pos post

Things mawr meaningful:

 

How about taking up knitting:

Nailing it

Not sure why things like this:

fastenate me but they do. Amazing piece of engineering & still pounding it out after all these years.

I was sooo enthralled by the nail making process I had to commission – YEP – your mom to write a little ditty about it.