Lauraw wears crocks
Up with the sun, gone with the wind
Everyone said Pup was lazy
Leaving my home
Leaving my friends
Running when things got too crazy
Out on the road, out ‘neath the stars
Feeling the breeze, passing the cars
I think my dictionary has a Bob Seger filter, it tried to change “Passing” to “Passin”.
Rock on with your bad selves today my friends.
Hello weekday and weekend warriors. This has been a really interesting week for the MJ household. First, I found out that although interpuppet sex generally doesn’t end with procreation, we have succeeded. Second, wiser can suck a dick, nay a whole bag of them. And finally, the blog really misses Cyn. Whatever Jimbro, Pupster, and James did to run her off will requires punishment. I suggest that we each send them a flaming bag of gratitude.
I wrote this song for Hotspur.
Hola bishes. Long time no escribo.
This is a 100% true story that is completely, honestly, 100% on the level with the truth. Estoy siendo honesto, punta maricones. I wouldn’t lie to anyone.
Anonche, en mi cama, I had a vision of a delicious cocktail. Was it the first signs of a budding addiction (it wasn’t)? Was it an implanted memory from our conversation last night (not likely)? Was it a reaction to a brain that will never quite shut off (possibly)? First symptoms of syphilis contracted from your mom (bingo)?
The answer is yes. Never mind what’s in the parenthesis. As you know from watching CNN they like to make sure that headlines are correctomundo as they interpret. But I digress.
What was this sueno de grandeza? It’s the cocktail to end all cocktails. A swanky, frothy, cream filled bananalicious, stripper referencing libation named the Dicking Bimbo!
Grab yourself a blender and get busy with this recipe:
1 oz vanilla or cake flavored vodka
.5 oz brandy
.5 oz banana liqueur (99 bananas is the best)
1 large, phallic banana
2 oz whipping cream
Put everything in your addiction mixer and whip it up! It tastes a little like bananas foster, but with a kick. Alcohol content: 6.8 chads. Stripper names: 2.
Hello flamers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
Your model for today is a porn star, born in Middletown, New Jersey on January 31st, 1994. She measures 32D-24-28, 5’6″ and 108lbs. Please stop being fabulous long enough to welcome, Miss Whitney Westgate!
Здравствуйте, and welcome to Big Boob Friday. Your model is also your musical selection, so give it a click you perverts.
Your model for today is currently in internet hiding because she posted some pictures of her humongous rack supporting her little kitty. At one point she had a youtube channel, instagram, reddit and imgur account, but she hasn’t said much lately…I’m guess because her pictures might have gotten her some unwanted attention. At any rate, she seems like a nice young lady from Russia (I guess) who is a classical singer and artist. She likes kitties and holy crap does she have a nice set of ear-muffs. Please stop being too specific and welcome, Miss Nadia Naivnaya!
b 1907 Antwerp, Naturalized U.S. 1923, d. 1993
Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.
I’ve been working with a software package with this name on one of the folders, so the song’s been stuck in my head for a week.
Now for the hunks.
Herro. I’m speaking Chinese now and going to meet our new overlords next month. I’m going to bring a picture of Wiser and me and tell everyone that I know Bill Clinton. I’m also going to eat lizard dusted pig face with a light, foamy spider leg reduction with a big bottle of grapefruit Shasta. It’s what they like, according to a book I’ve been reading about Chinese culture, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”
I wrote this song for Victoria LeGrand a few years ago during a drug fueled… You know I’m going to admit something here; I didn’t really write all of the songs that I’ve claimed to. But this isn’t like the time I posted a super hot trans dude and fooled you idiots into thinking he was a girl. These lies were for the simple pleasure of making you weirdos lust after she cock. No wait…that was still the tranny. These lies were about artistic expression. Big titties and veiny wiener art. Nope, still tranny. Welp, looking back on all of my lies, I guess I’m just a liar. A Brazilian barely legal butt licking frottage obsessed liar.
Today’s model does not have a penis, does not top, and will not slap you in the face with her girl meat if you’re into that sort of thing. I swear to god with my hand on a stack of giant, lady boner bibles that Ann Denise does not have a ding-a-ling. Swearsies.