Get Ready!

Time to do something, right now dammit!

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Watermelon Douche Chills

Gather round my friends and lend an ear, there’s a tale needs to be told. This is the abridged version. For the complete story you’ll need to pony up 50 cent to my publisher.

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You see, there was once a man, so big he shook the ground with each mighty step. For a snack he’d eat an entire ox and pick the gristle from his big-as-a-surfboard teeth with the ox horns.

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Countdown To Armageddon

If you listen to, and believe, the MSFM catastrophe is right around the corner. If Trump (PBUH) isn’t threatening nuclear annihilation to NoKo and, by extension, China he’s frying the planet by backing out of the Paris Hilton Climax Awards. Next thing you know he’ll be building walls North and South to keep the Snowbillies and the Beaners out of ‘Merica,  letting people keep more of their money and giving parking tickets to Third World-ers double parking in NYC who are only picking up their dry cleaning for the love of Allah. It reminds me of this song by Europe, a group from Sweden who prove that men have been dressing and wearing their hair and make up like women long before the current crop of Millennial kuntz. Perhaps even more amazing than that is the fact that this group has actually released eleven studio albums, three live albums, three compilations and nineteen music videos. Quick bonus quiz: name one besides this one. Enjoy the analog clocks and cathode ray tube monitors that convey crisis and urgency in this video which evokes the panic we felt when Russia was our mortal enemy. Wait, is Russia still our mortal enemy…didn’t we reset things with them?

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Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

FOR THE RECORD II

Here is a pic of your dad

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While I learn the intricacies of my new MacIntosh  product this is it for today. Busy week for me: partner is on vacation, nurse is in FLA and it’s school vacation…hold me!

Feel free to add updates. Let’s make this a community project.

UPDATE WON:

UPDATE TEW:

This is for Mare:

This is for Jimbro:

MMM 260: short and late

Long “weekend”.  Possum and I had lots of fun, but I get pretty drained trying to stay “on” for her for hours on end, so I’m a wreck this morning.  Straight to pictures.

If you have complaints about this one, you just don’t like women.

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MMM 258: Some kind of hate

So I watched the heck out of this movie on HBO when I was a kid.  It’s on Netflix now:

If you’ve got 90 minutes, it’s a great nostalgia piece.  Sheen does his “sober guy” character for a change.  And there’re a lot of Pontiacs going fast.  And Turbo!

Kettlebells.

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