Stooooopid.

It’s our specialty

Who’s Ready for a Cocktail?

I am! 

Submit your new cocktail recipes here. Then make it and send it to me to sample. Thank you in advance.

Reflections on “Kicking Ass”

“A month ago, I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. And I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially had the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick. Right? So, you know, this is not theater.”

Delivered like the climax of third-grade pageant, the President’s “know whose ass to kick” remark has been sitting in my head like mayo in the picnic sun, slowly turning from something I just don’t prefer to something that makes me ill. I can’t think of another instance where a President’s use of profanity – even mild profanity – was published approvingly by the media. In fact, I really can’t recollect another instance where a President’s use of profanity was published at all, but I have no doubt that’s merely my failing memory. I believe Johnson, Clinton, and Bush 43 were known to use profanity on occasion (or more frequently), but I can’t point to specific examples, and I don’t believe they did so frequently as in the course of publicly performing their jobs. On the odd occasions they did employ impious language, I don’t believe the instances were intended for public consumption. Against that history, President Obama’s comment seemed crass.

Epitome of an ass-kicker

While decidedly un-Presidential, the comment itself doesn’t rankle me too much. What does bother me is the incongruity between the President’s statement and who he actually is. The comment directly contradicts his real personality, much as the moderate image he built for his election campaign contradicts the extreme leftward bent of his governance. Implying that he has the capacity to kick ass is a bald-faced lie. (I know, I know – this is like saying “the sky is blue” and “kids say the darndest things.” I should get over it. And I should. I’m not there yet.)

Each President brings his own personality to the job, and if ass-kicking is part of his personality, a comment like yesterday’s might be entirely appropriate. The problem is, ass-kicking is NOT part of the President’s personality. He’s a scrawny, effeminate, effete, pseudo-intellectual homunculus with pretensions to decisiveness and vision. An enraged Obama is slightly less threatening than a weeping Liberace.

In light of his shrewishly petulant comment, it seems only fair to consider whether the President has ever kicked ass, even once. He’s the multicultural man of mystery and we don’t have much of a picture of his life before politics, so we can’t say for sure, but his proclivities are not those generally associated with ass-kicking. The President’s hyper-inflated ego and narcissism are well documented, yet we don’t hear about the vainglorious sporting exploits of his youth and college. Why does that matter? Sport is an outlet for physically competitive urges. Physically competitive urges are directly impacted by testosterone levels, which also impacts one’s propensity for violence – or ass-kicking, as it’s sometimes known in the vernacular. I’m not saying he’s low on testosterone or low on the chemical underpinnings of an inclination toward kicking ass, but I am saying he doesn’t display the characteristics of a man endowed with an abundance of testosterone. In the conflict department, he’s rather milquetoasty.

Ass-kicker in Chief

As to oft-touted virtues of the President’s personality, his alleged predisposition for intellectualism and cool contemplation fails to evoke imagery of ass-kickery, too. He publicly avows his affinity for talking to our adversaries in the face of violent, confrontational rhetoric rather than drawing a line in the sand to protect our national security, and at least one rumor has surfaced that his administration entertains the idea of the US buying off the Taliban for peace in Afghanistan. Neither of these strategies bears the hallmark of an alpha male, or even hallmarks of a male who has any first-hand experience with real, personal confrontation. Based on his public actions, the President’s resolve to defend this country – to kick ass on its behalf – is as firm as tepid Jell-O.

One would be hard-pressed to find any form of ass kicking related to the President that was not a “they” enterprise when carried out. He simply does not act without a consensus of some sort. The pride of Obama’s pre-Presidential resume are his community organizing years, during which he and his Alinsky-ite comrades fomented discontent among the proletariat to extort “evil” corporate targets. He didn’t undertake his subversive endeavors in solitary dedication. To the contrary, he coordinated group efforts to recruit converts from disaffected masses to agitate for shared entitlements. As his career progressed, first as a legislator in the Illinois General Assembly and later in the US Senate, Brave Sir Barry did co-sponsor legislation from time to time, but not one bill bears his name as the primary, initiating author. He only acted when he had company, when he was part of a group. President Obama has conspicuously avoided taking any stance that would leave the US standing alone against the world. He positions the country so its official positions are consistent with popular international sentiment, even to the detriment of our until-recently favored allies. In fact, nowhere does he ever boast of standing alone for what he believes or for the traditional interpretations of the nature of our freedoms and government. Given his notorious ego, if Obama actually ever HAS stood for something on his own, we can be assured he would be the first to tell us. And he would tell us over and over and over again, like some sort of cliched political “Pete and Repeat are sitting on the fence” joke.

On the rare occasions the President has involved himself with a beat-down, he has taken a rather formulaic and cowardly road to the first blow. First, he obtains permission from his like-minded group to threaten. He gins up public or Congressional sentiment, and then couches solutions in terms of Hobson’s choices, e.g., the health care bill (“If we don’t pass this bill, 40 million people will remain uninsured”). Once he secures permission, Obama hires muscle; he appeals to external entities to follow through on his threats. As a community organizer, he appealed to his audience of malcontents with demagoguery and to the coercive power of the state through the courts. As a state and federal legislator, he appealed to his colleagues’ authority by co-sponsoring legislation rather than authoring any of his own. As President, he appealed to the bankruptcy court’s authority to browbeat secured creditors into submission to unsecured creditors in the auto bailout. Likewise, with regard to financial reform, the President appeals to Congress to “rein in Wall Street,” and fails to exercise the not insignificant powers he already wields through the Treasury, Justice, and other departments. All of his appeals to authority are preceded by demagoguery, so his appeals are pleaded against the backdrop of mutinous mobs, many of which are paid agitators. And then he lets his minions do the work. Like a political Charlie Manson, he just sits back and watches approvingly as his devoted army of thugs visits their own perverted brand of justice on a target, all the while ostensibly washing his hands of the unsavoriness.

Obama and friends kick ass

Ass-kicking is not a spectator sport. Ass-kickers have resolve. Ass-kickers have confidence. Ass-kickers know their minds. They act with conviction to realize their visions. Ass-kickers ACT. This President simply doesn’t have the mettle to kick ass. The President’s convictions lack the starch necessary for him to take a solid stance in the face of unpopularity, and he doesn’t have the fortitude or wherewithal to face his Goliaths alone. This President is as likely to kick ass as a quadriplegic mule skinner.

Why does this particular incident matter? It probably doesn’t. You know what Obama is, I know what he is, and the masses are figuring it out. His comment is just one more straw on the camel’s back. We might want to start counting the straws as they’re added, though, because our camel is already bearing a heavy load, and the straws of Obama’s multitudinous continued deceptions will weigh heavier still. The breaking point – his or ours – is coming.

UPDATE

I Am Bat Dog

100_3596

Make teh funneh.  New poat for Halloween Eve.

WUT?

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it?

According to this story linked at Drudge, the Dems (spit) represent the richest and the poorest districts in the nation. 

The Democratic-controlled House is now an unusual combination of the richest and poorest districts, the best and least educated, and the best and the worst insured. The analysis found that Democrats have attracted educated, affluent whites who had tended previously to vote Republican.
 

Which begs the question, ” Who do the Reps (diapproving sigh) represent? 

 Republicans have tended to appeal to affluent voters since the Roosevelt era in the 1930s and 1940s but recently have appealed more to Southern and rural voters, who often have lower incomes.

“The story is really education,” says David Wasserman of the non-partisan Cook Political Report.He says “educated, wine-drinking Democrats” and poorer minority voters are an effective coalition because both groups are increasing in numbers. Even so, Wasserman expects Democrats to lose up to two dozen seats in the 2010 congressional elections, especially in poorer, white districts.

So obviously, since 1 plus 1 equals 3, Reps now represent the uneducated racist of the south. 

Silly me, I thought the correct answer would be:

rich + poor = Dems

Americans – Dems = everyone else that matters

everyone else that matters = the Middle Class

the Middle Class = Reps

Math is hard.

***IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!***–BiW
Rich’s younger self would like a word with all u h8ters:

kid-flipping-bird

I’m Avatarded

Well.

I thought I knew who my friends were. I guess I was wrong. I had NO IDEA there were people here who were unhappy with my avatar.

It’s been my avatar for two years. It fits. It matches my screen name. It brings me warm fuzzy memories. It is a comfort on a cold night. I guess that doesn’t matter to you people.

So. What should I replace it with? Help choose an avatar for me. The winner will receive something. Probably a dead skunk, but something nonetheless.

The Glenn Beck Bi**h Slap Primer

Glenn Beck has his first White House Victory. His philosophy…

bitch-slap-joke-pic

Speculation is rampant on who the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy will target next.
20050410-markos_head_1

Who do you suggest? Maybe it will bring Rosetta a Troll or Two….

And an “Atta Boy” to the GodFather Moron for a Great Weekend of entertainment at HQ.  Here is an early photo of the little Ewoks childhood.

ewok

[IMPORTANT UPDATE: Rosetta]

From the donkey porn site known as “Talking Points Memo“:

“Tea Party Group: Obama Is Both Goebbels And Mengele”

Well the tea-baggers are wrong on this one.  Goebbels and Mengele differ from Obama in three important aspects; they were organized, effective and didn’t lie about their intentions.

If the douche-baggers at TPM would stop hugging trees, throwing blood on my mink stoles and avoiding soap, they might understand that their Messiah is about to drive their ridiculous looking Smart Car off the fucking political cliff.

Those booger-eaters control the House and the Senate by huge majorities and have the most awesomest President ‘n’ Czars EVAR and they can’t even come up with a health insurance reform bill with more heft than telling grandma she’s old and in the way?  Hahahahahah.

Well done.

Socialism, besides epically failing all over the place because it’s fucking immoral and against human nature, falls flat on its ugly face because the pimps and whores pushing it are barely functioning idiots.

The spanking they are going to get in November 2010 will make the hosefucking picture look like a Norman Rockwell.

Also, Van Jones STFU.

[IMPORTANT UPDATE BY PATTYANN]

Labor-Day-Flowchart

Badassery, Pt. 1

I mostly enjoyed being a grunt. And I was pretty good at it, at that.

But I never made the mistake of thinking my secret identity was William T. Roughbutt, AKA Billy Badass.

For that,  you have to go to the Navy of all places.

Most folks in the Navy aren’t what you’d call warriors. Dedicated, hardworking, professional, sure (or drunken duffers with an alpacca fetish, in the case of one Hostage who shall remain nameless).  But stone cold killer isn’t the first thing that pops into your mind.

There is, however, a small community in the Squidforce that really are warriors, par excellence. That’s the SEALs. SEAL is an acronym for “Sea, Air & Land”, the three arenas they expect to fight in. There’s a consensus that the entry requirement for becoming a SEAL is the most physically challenging regime in all the armed forces. BUDS, or Basic Underwater Demolition School, isn’t about training people. It’s about weeding out those that can’t hack it. It’s only after you pass this rite of initiation that they get around to training you.

How hard is BUDS? You tell me. Here’s the video.

You can find the other three vids in the series here.

Thumper

Most of you mouthbreathers can figure out the downside to being a grunt in the Army. Getting shot at, humping heavy loads all over terrain that no one but a billygoat would call home, always being too hot, or too cold, too wet or too dry, lousy pay, little glamour and foot fungus that only Pajamma Mamma could rival.

But there was an upside. You had the opportunity to shoot some cool shit. One of my personal favorites to shoot was the M203 grenade launcher. Since you can only throw a hand grenade so far (especially you “guys” that throw like a girl- Wiser, I’m looking at you), God and the US Army came up with a way to hurl a grenade up to 400 meters. Which is handy. But the  boom seems so much smaller when it is that far away. It’s much more fun to shoot them a little closer…

Hostages in Action

Best. Poat. Evah!!!!!