Ok fine, I made that last one up but the rest are 100% real stories that were covered wall to wall by the very serious gossip columnists we pretend are reporters and journalists. And you trogdilytestrogdelitestrogderplites losers decided to make the funneh about foreskin.
I think my cough is finally far enough in the rearview mirror that I can plan to work out this week. Feels like it’s been ages, and I’m bound to be sore, but it’s got to be done.
The wildlife in Florida is varied and deadly. We’re not quite Australia, but we’re not far.
Venomous Snakes: 6 – Eastern Diamondback, Pygmy Diamondback,Timber Rattlesnake, Copperhead, Water Moccasin, and Eastern Coral
Venomous Spiders: 5 – the Southern Black Widow, Northern Black Widow, Red Widow, Brown Widow and Brown Recluse
Random Animals: Black Bears, Wild Boars, Alligators, Sharks, Jellyfish, Florida Panther
Those are just the ones indigenous to Florida. Because people are stupid and lazy and incompetent, they bring potentially dangerous animals into Florida via smuggling. We now have Nile Crocodiles in Florida.
A team of scientists has identified three reptiles captured near Miami as Nile crocodiles, a species native to Africa.
Through DNA testing, scientists from the University of Florida were able to confirm that the reptiles captured in the wild from 2009, 2011 and 2014 were Nile crocodiles, the second-largest extant reptile species in the world.
But Florida’s largest and most destructive invasive species by far is the Burmese Python. Introduced to the Everglades, largely escaping during the massive damage due to Hurricane Andrew, these snakes have now made their home here and are the Kings of the Glades. With no natural predators and a climate that is perfect for them to breed, they are dominating.
An examination of the digestive systems of 104 pythons killed this year in a public hunting competition turned up the remains of seven alligators, 50 mammals — including two deer — and 38 birds.
It was ample evidence of the toll the non-native constrictors were taking on Everglades wildlife.
Alligators. The damn things eat freaking alligators.
And just this week, a 15 FOOT BURMESE PYTHON was captured and what did they find in it’s stomach? Not 1, not 2, but 3 deer. It ate 3 deer in 90 days.
When they checked the contents of the snake’s stomach, all they found was some fur, a few teeth, and hooves.
It’s not just the people that are out of control in Florida, it’s the animals too. Whole lotta nope.
