An F-Bomb by Any Other Name

The Science behind Cursing

My dad used to get pissed at me for swearing – he said it was the sign of a weak mind, sometimes he’d say below average intellect.

I remember saying something to the effect ” i guess you raised a fucking retard then”…..

During my college years I worked for a paving company and sometimes worked for a mason – my swearing really became a thing of beauty…

You ass-wipes come up with some pretty funny shit at times.

Here’s a sampling of a different form of poetry from around the world:

Spain:

“Suck butter from my ass” (Chupe mantequilla de mi culo)

“Me cago en la leche,” “I shit in the milk.” a variant of “Damnit!” 

“I shit on your whore mother” (Me cago en tu puta madre)

Arabs:

“A thousand dicks in your religion” (Elif air ab dinikh)

“May you be struck by a dick” (Air il’e yoshmotak)

“My dick in your conscience” (Airy fe dameerak)

“My dick in your mother’s rib cage” (Eyreh be afass seder emmak)

Ireland:

“He’s as thick as a bull’s walt” (that is, as dense as an erect bull penis)

“Gobshite” (shithead)

“Piss artist” (alcoholic)

“As Thick As Manure And Only Half As Useful.”

Bulgaria:

“Let a hungry Carpathian long-haired she-wolf blow your dick, fuck” (Gladna Karpatska valchitza s dalag kosam minet da ti prai deeba)

“Your mother sucks bears in the forest” (Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata)

“Fuck this tilted field” (Da eba taz kreeva neeva)

“You’re as ugly as a salad” (Grozna si kato salata)

“Nosa ti e kato ruska putka” (Your nose is like a Russian pussy)

“Pederas grozen gyrbaw prokazhen” (unsightly hunchbacked leper queer). 

Chinese:

“Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors” (Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai)

“Sha gua” means retard or literally “stupid melon”

Wear a green hat.” green hats were part of the male brothel workers uniform and suggest an anonymous man whore.

“Your mother is a big turtle” (Nide muchin shr ega da wukwei). a turtle doesn’t know its father, it’s a way of calling someone a bastard.

“cho yade” (smelly slave wench)

Iceland:

“Grandfatherfucker” (Afatottari)

“Plunger” (Drullusukkor). plumbing tool, roughly equivalent to “fucktard.”

“Girl who drives a truck” (Trukkalessa). A butch lesbian

“Corpsefucker” (naridill)

“Sheepfucker” (rollurioari)

“Unclefucker” (frandseroir)

Armenia:

“I’ll make sarma with your penis’ skin” Glirit mortin hed sarma shinem

“Eshoon noor oodel chi vayeler” It’s not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate – clumsy

“Krisnera zhazh tan vred” Let the rats ejaculate on you.

“Kak oudelic shoon” Shit eating dog.

“Eshu Koorak” Son of Donkey.

“Dzvis ty” My nut’s twin 

Serbia:

“May God give you to search for your children with a Geiger counter” (Da bog da trazio detzoo Gaygerovim broyachem)

“Jebo ti jeza u ledja” (May you fuck a hedgehog)

“Popasi me chmarne dlachitse” (Graze on my ass hair) 

“The Pope fucks you” (Jebo te Papa)

“May your house be live on CNN” (Da bog da ti kuca bila na CNN-U) which means I hope NATO will bomb your house.

“Da bi te majka prepoznala u bureku” (Let your mother recognize you in a meat pie)

“Da Bog da ti zena rodila stonogu pa ceo zivot radio za cipele” (May your wife give birth to a centipede so you have to work for shoes all your life)

Romania:

“Stick your hand in my ass and jerk off with my shit” (Sa-mi bagi mana-n cur si sa-mi faci laba la cacat)

“Shampoo my dick-hair with your saliva” (Shampona-mi-ai flocii cu saliva)

“Brush your teeth, my dick will be inspecting soon!” (Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie)

“Usca-mi-as sosetele pe crucea ma`tii” (I dry my socks on your mother’s cross)

“Futu-tzi coliva ma~tii” (Fuck your mother’s funeral meal). 

Danish:
Suck devilcock in hell you faggotdwarf (Sut djavlepik i helvede din bossedvarg).

Vietnamese:
“You eat pubic hair with salt-dip” (May an long dai cham mui)

Finnish:
“Piss into a transformer” (Kuse muuntajaan)

Afrikaans:
“Suck on my hemorrhoids and wait for better days” (Siug aan my aambeie en wag vir beter dae”)

Albanian:
“May you get fucked by a blind bear” (Te qifte arusha qorre)

Bosnian:
“I dream about farting on you” (Sanjam da prdnem na tebe)

Russia:

Перхоть подзалупная (perhot’ podzalupnaya) — “peehole dandruff”

Хуй с горы (hui s’gory) — “penis from the mountains”

Чтоб тебе дети в суп срали (Chtob tebe deti v’sup srali) — “May your children shit in your soup.”

249 Comments

  1. Poetry 2 Thursdays in a row, I love it. I had a puerto rican friend who taught me to say a combo of two of your listed spanish curses, basically “I shit in the milk of your whore mother”.

  2. A bit of national character unveiled, there. The serbs are savage and subtle.

  3. The chinese are concerned with matters of family/ancestry/identity.

    Iceland….well.

  4. What’s the dealio with burner phones?

    I completely missed that one. Am I supposed to be outraged?

    Because I’m calm at the moment. Please get me up to speed so I can adjust my emotions accordingly

  5. Jimbro, what current propaganda module can I occupy you with today?

  6. Burner phones, burner email servers, at this point, what difference does it make?

  7. Sobek, try reducing carbohydrates to lose that belly pooch. Belly fat is carbs.

  8. Gonna make my last effort to call this guy so I can go get ten bales of cheap mulch hay off him. I spoke to him very briefly a few days ago and he told me to call him about coming over, but he’s a bit ornery. The next time I called to arrange meeting him at the farm, I got no hello, just the pickup/hang up. Land line, so I can’t text. I guess he doesn’t want calls around dinner time? It was like 6:45PM. Then other times he doesn’t answer at all and there’s no answering machine. An older gent, I reckon.

  9. I watched the John Stewart thing that Tushar posted (white supremacist Indian) and the ignorance is just…shocking.

    The woman arguing with gay bear Andrew Sullivan was the perfect avatar of liberalism. White, female, morbidly obese, and willing to call everyone a racist based on bumper sticker ideology.

    She literally said…we have to understand that the country is racist to the core – that’s why I no longer talk to white men.

  10. Well, she’s gonna have an unhappy life, and that’s okay, it’s her choice. But a pox on all her lefty college professors anyway for the initial steering.

  11. That’s why we need more local family farms and more laymen that can learn how to butcher half a cow for their family and use all of it.
    We’re regressing and loving it.

  12. Hey, Romania, dial it down a notch.

  13. Jam, hilarious poat. Well done.

  14. I could butcher a cow at this point, but I’d need 2 more guys and a chain hoist.

  15. Every small packer has been booked solid a year into the future for the last 2 years.

  16. Harbor freight sells some nice hoists for not too much. Electric motor, you don’t need extra guys.

  17. Since Klaus Schwab and THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES said there will be food shortages I’ve been taking prepping a little more seriously.

    I live in an (attached on both sides) condo. The yard I own is brick paver the rest is HOA. I have a small freezer and of course a freezer in my fridge.

    Do any of you have practical ideas about what I (we) should be storing for a protracted food/supply shortage? I’m looking for the most practical and non super expensive ideas. Berkey water purifier would be nice but no. A food freeze drier would be great but at around $2500-3000, no.

    Thank you in advance.

    I did learn if you buy beans freeze them for 3 days to kill the worm larvae that inevitably live in some of the beans.

  18. You’d also need a ramp, and some rollers, and a decent rolling utility cart…

  19. She literally said…we have to understand that the country is racist to the core – that’s why I no longer talk to white men.

    ——–

    A) She’s gross and no man wants to talk to her so it’s not a stretch for her.
    B) Mental illness is rampant.

  20. Wakey wakey

    Burner phones is the recent thing the left is making up. they have no proof, but an absence of calls by Trump – they’re saying protestors coordinated with Trump during THE INSURRECTION using burner phones.

  21. Lumps, there are sub-primals on a cow that are upwards of 80# in some cases and I’d really rather not drop one. If it’s cold enough to hang the whole thing, you’re also talking about potentially having to do logistics and move a 400+# carcass after the evisceration, or two halves still as heavy as a big man.

  22. Sobek – story on Tucker was about Oklahoma turning into a lawless state. The “indian card” gives you a free pass to get out of jail. Wondering if you had insight.

  23. RE: Burner phones

    Eff these assholes. Biden has been racing to Delaware every weekend for two reasons.

    One, he gets his injections/infusions/transfusions/constant rest there.
    Two, the guests who come and tell him what to say are not entered into logs like they would be at the White House.

  24. Oh, so they watched Breaking Bad 3 or 4 times and now Trump is using burner phones because they can’t think of anything original?

    Story checks out.

  25. I wish all of the shit the left fantasized about Trump were actually true.

    It would be totally bad ass.

  26. I was in the best shape of my life when I upped my carbs. Just saying. But I followed a macro plan.

  27. Only freeze high value foods. Beef, fish, etc. Everything else can or dry. Buy lots of canned tuna fish on sale as well as other canned fish and meats. High quality cooking oil is expensive, will get far worse soon, and deserves a spot in the freezer or fridge to prevent it from going rancid too soon if you bought in bulk and use it a little at a time, which is recommended. Freeze butter too, that’s going to go up as keeping cows gets crazy expensive.

    DIY: A pressure canner, canning jars, and lids, lots of extra lids. Oxygen absorbers. I dehydrated a huge bag of corn the other day and it all fit into a quart jar with room to spare. I am expecting my o2 absorbers to arrive soon and then I will add one and stow that jar in the cellar where it will be kept dark and cool. Same will be done for the rest of my garden produce this year and any great deals on bulk soup-type veggies I find in stores.

    I have canned a lot of meat in my pressure canner and need to do more. Canned beef with mexican seasonings is yummy in a sammich or burrito. Home canned chicken is superior to store bought and makes great chicken salad. the meats do get a more dry consistency so you add a little fat when mixing it for your meal, and no problemo.

  28. It is too late to debate. they left LOVES their burner phone theory. the memes are hilarious*

    *no they’re not.

  29. Beansnsnssnsns, if he spends any time at all near or in a hospital he will have a crisis. Once we took my 91-year-old father out of the hospital, magically all his crisis stopped. Lived another almost two years.

    They are constantly checking numbers and anything off normal will be “call in a specialist” deal. It’s a cover your ass kind of deal.

  30. I was thinking about this when I was running yesterday. If shit gets so bad in the US, I don’t want to live.

    Maybe it was the hill talking .

  31. Thank you, Lauraw. I think canning is in order. And I hadn’t thought of a fat/cooking source. Good tip.

  32. Comment by Car in on March 31, 2022 8:25 am
    I was thinking about this when I was running yesterday. If shit gets so bad in the US, I don’t want to live.

    ——

    It wasn’t the hill. I thought the same thing, and I’m sure like you, I’ll be giving my food and supplies to my children for themselves and their children. They come first.

  33. Beasnsnsns, I’m sorry your BIL has to deal with this when this time in his life should be fun and relaxing.

  34. Okay, is this mental? Is it possible to can frozen vegetables?

  35. If we lose power frozen food isn’t helpful for long.

  36. Coconut oil lasts a very long time, other than the flavor is there any reason it can’t be the cooking oil of choice?

  37. I was thinking about this when I was running yesterday. If shit gets so bad in the US, I don’t want to live.
    Maybe it was the hill talking .
    ————
    LOL that’s funny as hell.

  38. I did wonder if the shot would affect him in particular.

    Neighbor down the street, about 5 years ago, had a bad run after being forced out of his tech job, at 60. He had a heart attack, his two year old dog suddenly died, and then they found mouth cancer and had part of his palate with teeth removed. He subbed at a school for awhile, retired, got bored..now is back working in the tech field.

  39. Don’t think so Mare. But it does start to taste yucky around a year or so out at room temp, to me.

  40. Gotcha.

  41. I haven’t heard of him, Beasn.

    Steers are heavy, Lumps. You not only need a hoist, but something you can hook the hoist to that is around 10 feet high.

    I think the rule of thumb is: hanging weight is 2/3 of live weight, and final weight of the meat after butchering is 2/3 of hanging weight (you lose moisture, bones, and fat). So, a 1,200 pound steer’s hanging weight is 800#, and you end up with around 500# of meat.

    So, at one point you have to lift 1,200 pounds, skin it, gut it, then split it lengthwise. Now you have 2 400# sides of beef. The weights involved are really tough for one person to handle.

  42. Maybe Leon can hire some movers.

  43. Vegetables are fairly low-value as food, and easy to grow again if you have to (prepare to love mustard greens). For prepping, focus on canned meat and shelf-stable calories like dried rice and beans. Oh, and peanut butter in glass jars if you can find it.

  44. Macros are make believe.

  45. retire? should have kept the farm

  46. I could probably butcher a sheep solo if I had to, but having a third hand really helps in a few places. I mostly needed Mrs C to help me catch the last two times, and she was able to do some cleanup while I was busy with the skinning.

  47. you can can (haha) frozen vegetables, but why? You’re gonna be cooking them, and freezing has already taken their “fresh” away. You’re better off waiting for summer, and getting a bunch of cheap veggies to can then. That’s what you do on the farm, can in times of plenty.

    Just keep the frozen veggies in the freezer, use them up.

  48. I thought it was Fauci and company using the burner phones.

  49. why glass jars for peanut butter? off gassing?

  50. Trump was MISSING for 7 hours on Jan 6! His whole family was using burner phones!

    Fauci was using burner beagles.

  51. “The GOP senator said that Jackson had reassured her that she would not bend “the law to meet a personal preference,” saying that Jackson met Collins’ personal standards for Supreme Court justices.”

    Collins really is stupid, isn’t she? The whole “hearing” for KBJ has been a study in avoiding questions, so she doesn’t have to explain herself later.

  52. Fat in contact with plastic at room temp is reacting with it, as I understand it. Not rancidity exactly, but you end up with some funk from the plastic on a long time scale. Glass is inert, and after the peanut butter is out you can use the jar again.

  53. Collins isn’t stupid, she’s on the other side.

  54. Also, store salt and other spices. Honey lasts forever.

  55. Are they really trying to flog that dolphin?

    How ridiculous. If Trump were actually trying to foment an insurrection I’m fairly sure he would have used the military, not a group of mostly elderly, unarmed people.

    And I’m leaning toward ‘he should have used the military.’

  56. How is everyone celebrating International Trans Day of Visibility today?

  57. I’ve had trouble with honey hardening up. I don’t use it a lot, but wind up throwing out the last bits.

  58. “Waiting for summer” might be too long. Don’t know.

    And my question was really about if rolling power outages (just because they can- California already does it regularly) become prevalent your frozen things are now time-sensitive.

  59. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on March 31, 2022 8:59 am
    Also, store salt and other spices. Honey lasts forever.

    —-

    Thumbs up, Roamy.

  60. For storing rice or grains I’ve heard about the combo of mylar bags, oxygen absorbers and food grade diatomaceous earth sprinkled in there. Store in a big plastic bucket with a so called gamma seal lid. I’ve done exactly none of that.

  61. Keep your freezer full. If it isn’t full, put some containers of water in there. Think of it as a big cold sink, the more things are frozen, the longer it stays frozen when you keep it shut. Also know what you have, so you can keep the lid shut more.

  62. I vacuum seal a lot. Dry food keeps a long time when you remove all air, and then humidity doesn’t degrade it.

    Spices are in bulk and vacuum sealed. Open up the package, fill your container, and reseal it. Keeps a LONG time then.

    chamber vacuum gets a workout, bags are cheaper, and you can seal liquids. Best xmas gift ever! cheapo chinese unit with an oil pump, so it’s quiet.

  63. Wound up getting five hours total sleep last night with an hour’s interruption for a nothingburger tornado warning.

    I would rather get swept up by a legit twister than continue to get reduced to zombiehood by the shit sleep I’ve had for weeks.

    I’m going to have to take a block of time off soon if I’m not going to just fall out entirely. I’m starting to be afraid I’ll make a really bad lapse of judgement without realizing it or even thinking because of this shit. Usually the yearly stressout is over for a couple of weeks by now but it just stretches on and on, added to my personal shit and health concerns…

    I know, let go and let God, but every time I ask Him for help He just piles on more.

  64. heck, you’re in the south, you should have your pick of roadside veggies everywhere, just get out in the country a little.

  65. Honey can be bought in big pails. It’s still good even when crystallized. You can scoop it up to use or warm it to make it liquid again. I just use the crystallized form in my tea and it dissolves completely.

    Salt for sure, won’t go bad. Oil in the freezer too.

  66. honey is really expensive here, so a pail is out. I tried sourcing some, so I could make a big batch of mead (takes a year to age that stuff). My old roommate used to win state fair every year with his mead. very delicious and STRONG, sneaks up on you quickly.

  67. Jay, your advice is very good.

    What I’m getting at is during food shortage times, there will be very few “roadside veggie” stands. People will keep their own grown food or they become targets on roadsides.

    I’m talking about serious food shortages which I can’t decide is a longshot or not.

  68. Honey. Been a long time since I had legit honey and not that BS HFCS substitute, like what passes for “breakfast syrup”.

  69. better to go with roadside stands, instead of canning frozen, is all I was getting at.

  70. Are you looking at farmer’s markets, Jay? Lots of small honey producers.

    And given the work to make clean honey, the price may be completely valid. I read a couple of books and noped out of the idea.

  71. Evidently Andy doesn’t realize everybody is old now and goes to bed early.

  72. I like the mead idea.

    I don’t have the space but I’m going to buy fifths of alcohol to trade and if the shortages don’t come, well, then, I have alcohol. HUZZAH!!

  73. expensive there too, leon. Probably just finding the expensive ones, and everyone keeps the cheaper local producers to themselves.

  74. Holy crap, Jay. Snow!

    “No Veggies for you!!

  75. I gave up on the beekeeping after losing my bees to winter kill or swarms. It’s easy enough to buy new bees in the spring but they’re over $100 now (for the package, not per bee!)

  76. I’d rather grow corn and make syrup than keep bees. I’ll happily provide habitat for wild bees, but I don’t want to wrangle the things.

  77. Leon any thoughts on protein powder, do good ones have a complete amino acid profile?

  78. beasn!

  79. They mostly do, Mare. Whey is complete, egg white is complete. I worry about the huge amount of surface area in a powder and staleness, but I’ve had some years-old protein powder and not noticed a taste change or gotten sick from it.

    Plus you can make glue in a pinch.

  80. Trans day of visibility…

    Don’t they put a lot of effort into passing? Seems counterintuitive.

  81. Hard to comment without seeing the show, Car in.

    Oklahoma isn’t lawless. The effect of the McGirt decision, real short summary, is that criminal jurisdiction in seven reservations now rests with the tribes (for misdemeanors) or the feds (for felonies). That can actually be a very, very bad deal for natives who break the law, because they could be looking at much more time than they would have in the state system.

    The two big downsides that I’ve heard of are:

    1) arrest authority problems. If a cop pulls over a drunk driver, turns out the guy is native, then he has to call the tribe to come get that driver. If the tribe doesn’t have a free officer, then the cop either has to wait for a long time or just let the guy go. Most of the tribes have worked out cross-deputization agreements with state and county law enforcement to mitigate that.

    7) a sudden, massive influx of federal cases that otherwise would have gone to the state means a massive influx of federal agents who are already stretched really thin, and who don’t necessarily have training or experience with rez work. It also means a hugely expanded workload for federal prosecutors and judges.

    But an Oklahoma appellate court recently held that old state convictions, where all appeals have run, are not eligible for jurisdictional challenge, and the Supreme Court did not take that decision up on appeal so it still stands. That means the number of old cases subject to new review is finite, which is great news all around.

  82. If you can keep your emergency food stores at cooler temps than what most of us think of as “room temperature” it should store better/longer. Think of the old time spring house or ice house. Even if just in an unheated basement (sorry Floridians) it should do better. The old chemist rule of thumb is that chemical reactions double for every 10 degrees C increase. And food storage is all about slowing down chemical oxidation reactions.

  83. Thanks, Leon.

  84. I don’t take “greens” powder. I have a red meat rich diet though.

    Instead of veggies, can you substitute greens powder for micronutrients?

  85. Thumbs up, Ruralcounsel.

  86. yup, ruralcounsel. Anyone hear remember having “A Cave”? Farms all around had underground storage, big old pile of dirt around a hole with a door.

  87. Root cellars are the name by which I know this wizardry. Couldn’t have done one at the old farm without hitting water.

  88. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 31, 2022 9:54 am
    WEF Young Leader says things:

    https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/chris-queen/2022/03/30/volodymyr-zelenskyy-shows-how-to-end-a-russian-invasion-with-1-weird-trick-n1585525

    ——-

    If this doesn’t convince you that Zelensky is a plant for the new world order nothing will.

  89. Holy shit, Klaus Schwab is straight out of central casting under:

    horrifying, evil dictator, with accent

  90. Another wicked figure out of Austria for which the Germans will be blamed and suffer.

  91. So Hunter was banging Malia?

    Not seeing the connection. Why would she sleep with a 50 y/o has been/never was? She was on Hollywood sets.

  92. Ive actually read some of those Hunter / Malia stories.

    The picture of her with the coke card predates the computer. And it has a member since date that would make her 13 when she got the card, although it could have been for her, in her name, with her parents.

    But because its enough to make a story, I have to assume it’s true until proven untrue. Your rules, media bitches.

  93. Hunter always had the best drugs, I expect.

  94. It doesn’t actually seem like it. Really good cocaine is actually yellowish or pinkish. If its super white it’s been refined a few times.

    But hey, I’m sure it got the job done.

  95. Not seeing the connection. Why would she sleep with a 50 y/o has been/never was? She was on Hollywood sets.

    ——

    Because he had the coke. And the shlong?

  96. Because she’s young and dumb and naive, and he’s experienced at seducing young, dumb, naive girls after years of practice? That’s my guess.

  97. MJ, I know LOTS of kids who had debit cards at 13.

  98. But because its enough to make a story, I have to assume it’s true until proven untrue. Your rules, media bitches.

    ——–

    Well, those bitches made the rules so I’m all in too.

  99. Just to be clear…not my kids. No way.

  100. Something’s changed with the ads at the HQ. Used to be I was able to block the ads no problem. Then I started to see King Harv. No problem, just one…now the damn things are overrunning the sidebars.

    I don’t begrudge Ace a living, but the sudden change with no comment is a little unnerving.

  101. Malia Obama 8/10 would smash.

  102. have you updated your ad blocker?

  103. 1) arrest authority problems. If a cop pulls over a drunk driver, turns out the guy is native, then he has to call the tribe to come get that driver. If the tribe doesn’t have a free officer, then the cop either has to wait for a long time or just let the guy go. Most of the tribes have worked out cross-deputization agreements with state and county law enforcement to mitigate that.

    This is such utter and total bullshit.

    What happens if the drunk driver is German? Do they have to wait for the gestapo to come get him?

    You break a law, you go to jail where you broke it.

    It’s a shame we pulled you people out of tents and wigwams against your will, but that was century before last.

  104. Why would she sleep with a 50 y/o has been/never was? She was on Hollywood sets.

    Because she’s a fucking whore who has never had to suffer the consequences of her stupid decisions and behavior?

    Just wondering.

  105. I realized after my comment yesterday that that Big Ag Corp (which is really Big Pharma Corp with an Ag subsidiary) has a financial interest in there being as many T people as possible, and I’ve had a really hard time being motivated to do fuckall for them this morning.

  106. My kids did not get debit cards until they got a job. Credit cards came after college.

  107. Ben had a debit card around that age. He’s 18 now and has his own credit card I think. He’s fairly responsible but like any kid not perfect every time. Paula has had to remind him to cool the spending a few times now and again.

    His older half brother was a nightmare with any credit card. Plastic card = buy weed and get an overdraft fee when pumping gas. At some point she just did the prepaid card thing which is really a poor tax which suits him.

  108. I got a credit card for emergencies at 18 with a $1000 credit limit. I used it to pay my phone bill every month, iirc, to build a credit history, and once to pay for a legitimate emergency when I slept through my stop on a train ride and had to get a cab from Dearborn to Ann Arbor at midnight.

    I still have the same account, it’s my only credit card.

  109. It’s a shame we pulled you people out of tents and wigwams against your will, but that was century before last.

    They’re still political tools but these days, to bash over whitey’s head. Kinda like the slaves, who aren’t, who smack other slaves at awards show.

  110. The older kid is staying out of jail, making restitution payments and working cleaning cars at the rent-a-wreck place that his friend’s dad runs. He’s also still with the same girlfriend who is fairly responsible and keeps him in line for the most part. And get this, I’ve kept my mouth shut about this for months, she’s about to make my wife a GILF. EDC is in June. Paula has mixed emotions. Mother will handle a baby fine but he has a hard enough time keeping his own shit together.

  111. “What happens if the drunk driver is German? Do they have to wait for the gestapo to come get him?”

    No they don’t. To clarify, if the native is off of reservation land, then they go to state jail. Same with the German tourist. It’s only if a state officer is on reservation land (i.e. almost half of Oklahoma) that this applies. So yes, you pay the penalty for the place where you broke the law.

  112. To clarify even more, the German actually does have a right that a white guy doesn’t have – a right to consular notification. So the native thing is not the only arena where identity and location affect the outcome.

  113. I know Tucker was talking about a particular murder case, but I’m having trouble finding the details.

  114. Yea, so Jimbro is going to be a grandparent before me.

    It’s fine.

    No, seriously. it’s FINE.

  115. I’m definitely old enough to be a grandparent, Paula is on the young side in the modern era. Of course, having no children of my own I am not able to claim grandparent status “officially”.

    As I said, she has mixed emotions about the whole thing. I wouldn’t mention it at all until she posts a picture or something like that on facedouche.

    The only saving grace is his girlfriend who is a normal young woman. She’s a hard worker and has an average level of common sense from what I can tell.

  116. Possum really likes a boy in her class, and he seems like a good kid, so I figure you’ve got 12 years or so before I beat you to it as well.

  117. I say you can claim it. My best bud Dana claims her stepkid’s kids as her grands and she’s not even married to that man anymore.

  118. Beaten by 1) a man who doesn’t have any kids and 2) a man who has one …

    This is bullshit.

  119. At least right now all my kids are dating. So I’ve got that going for me.

  120. Matt met a young woman a while back – online, and then they’ve been seeing each other every weekend for about a month. I haven’t met her yet. Matt says maybe next weekend.

  121. haha, new book by Huckabee, The Kids Guide to President Trump, advertising on Blaze

    Not a bad idea.

  122. How late will Biden be today for his appearance?

  123. Hreemesssmsfjtrys!

  124. Stupid Tweet at Ace’s about how covid is RAMPANT.

    Hello? What world does he live in. Hospitals are reporting ZERO covid cases. The entire state of michigan has 490 in hospitals, there was a time where two hospitals alone would have that number.

    THere are 92 in the ICU with covid (and who know what else). My nurse friend – her hospital had THREE covid units at one point – they have not a single covid patient right now.

  125. My opinion about ‘Quotanji’ Jackson n Brown: don’t oppose her mindlessly. Brandon has the votes. She will be confirmed. Don’t try to stop a runaway train. If you must oppose her, oppose her on ideology, not qualifications or background.

    And don’t call her Quotanji like me. Dats rayciss.

  126. Last covid death in Iowa was on 3/24. The site that tracked info is down, now I have to go to the dept of health. 582 positive tests in the last 7 days.

  127. you have “brown skin exemption” so you’re good.

  128. Last day at The Job. Cleaning out my cubicle now and this is so weird. It’s been 9,361 days since I started here as a temp agency file clerk making $6.50 / hour. It’s been quite the run.

  129. 10k patients with confirmed covid in hospital
    1959 in ICU with confirmed covid

    so we have a LOT more covid than Michigan. Seems unlikely.

  130. 421 pediatric patients in hospital with covid

    Also seems unlikely

  131. Did you get an awkward cake party Mitchell?

  132. I think we should have cake

  133. Tushar, you’re an Indian. How do you feel about these laws regarding the reservations?

    Let’s hear from someone actually affected by this.

  134. Why not 9,362?

  135. heh, feather, not dot

  136. LOL Jim Harbaugh is having Colin Headuphisass as the captain of the team for the spring UofM game.

    Can the leadership at Michigan guzzle any more cum than they already do? It seems like everyday they find new ways to pack it in.

  137. The motherfucker didn’t even attend Michigan. What relevance does he have to this team?

    Jesus.

  138. Yes, Awkward Cake Party is a bit later this afternoon. There’s another guy in the department leaving in a few more days so it’s a dual ACP for the both of us. I’ll send y’all some cake through the USB port.

    Why not 9,362?
    We’re on the four day / 10 hour schedule so Friday is a day off for us. Time to bow out.

  139. well colin has a muslim girlfriend, so Dearborn is practically his hometown

  140. getting the wrong flavor baby accessory = rape

    got it

  141. Is it okay for women to get an abortion if they wanted a boy, but the baby turns out to be a girl?

  142. heh, that story is funny. They switched their hyphenated names just like a normal couple.

    and boys = hitting and guns

    lesbians.

  143. Oh, I meant to say I could SWEAR I say the trans person serving me at the coffee shop yesterday. Despite the fact that it wasn’t the day of “visibility”.

    But there he/she was. Clearly visible. Clearly trans.

  144. out of the shadows. amazing discovery, Car in

  145. THere are so many reasons these women should not be moms.

    What do you want to put the chances that the poor little guy turns trans?

  146. I wonder why no one has gone after them for that? HOW DARE THEY ASSUME THAT CHILD’S GENDER.

  147. They can have a gender reveal when the child is 7. Then they’ll get that daughter they always wanted.

  148. What do you want to put the chances that the poor little guy turns trans?

    MJ should weigh in on this. He’s really good at predicting these sorts of things.

  149. Ok,I have things to do. I can’t be entertaining YOU PEOPLE all day long.

    I’m going to Costco. Who needs something?

  150. Let’s face it, if it was going to be a girl it would be whiny and weak, and want to dress in pink and purple. Who the hell wants a kid like that?

  151. Get me some tampons and Midol.

  152. do they have striped duck tape?

  153. Pick up a few cans of 5.56mm 62 grain green tip FMJ if you would please. And a rotisserie chicken.

  154. Is striped duck tape used to bind striped ducks together, or made out of striped ducks?

  155. New Disney “princesses”. I particularly resemble Snow White privilege.

  156. That poor little fucking soon to be dickless bastard.
    That Kid is screwed.

  157. You wanna talk about cruel and unusual punishment.
    Fucked from implantation.

  158. That kid is fucked, even though his mother never was.

  159. I find these mentally deranged sjw’s to be a true boil on the ass of this nation.

  160. Yea, so Jimbro is going to be a grandparent before me.

    It’s fine.

    No, seriously. it’s FINE.

    Wut?
    *scrolls furiously backwards*

    Daddy might be a little dopey but every baby deserves a fat Congratulations. Perhaps the baby will help hone him a little more to maturity.

    Now I shall sit over here on this bench of really nice grandmas who don’t have our own grandbabies to spoil…and cry.

  161. Carin you should contact those two fuckwads and offer to re-home that kid.

  162. Dan Bongino had a Dr on to discuss why places with high vaccination rates are having outbreaks of covid.

    It’s self-explanatory. The Dr said, of course, vaccines make it more likely for you to get covid. And explained the science behind it.

    Do not get vaccinated.

  163. do you think that kid will be any different than Dave Rubin’s twins?

  164. hahahahahah, Another reason to hate Michigan.

    Everyone except die-hard Michigan football fans will want Michigan to lose. Is Harbaugh effing brain dead?

  165. Dave Rubin was a likable guy. He’s now a selfish asshole to me.

  166. Jimbro, did you adopt Paula’s two boys?

    If so, you’re a Grandfather.

    If not, you’re a Grandfather.

  167. I said what I said.

  168. Comment by Jimbro on March 31, 2022 2:34 pm
    Pick up a few cans of 5.56mm 62 grain green tip FMJ if you would please. And a rotisserie chicken.

    ——

    heh

  169. There is a covid in the UK where 74% are “fully” vaccinated.

  170. yeah, omicron

  171. Fox News Channel says it has hired Caitlyn Jenner as a contributor, with her first appearance set for Thursday on Sean Hannity’s program.

  172. Did you see the one Disney exec talking about her two queer children and how supportive the other execs are? One a tranny, the other a pansexual.

    Month ago, our finance guy purchased Disney stock for me..I was in the middle of something and Mr. B approved it.
    Today, we told him to dump it.

  173. Miss Lindsay held his finger in the air:

    .
    @LindseyGrahamSC
    flips on Ketanji Brown Jackson, will oppose her Supreme Court nomination

  174. Rubin….seems off to me. Don’t trust him.

  175. Jay, that’s because Collins is giving him cover AND he may be pissed biden’s people didn’t go with the lefty from his state.

  176. Jimbro, boy#1 is going to need additional guidance about what it really means when the baby comes. All the young lady’s attention and energy will be spent on the baby. He will get no attention from her except for when he can help with the baby. A lot of immature young men can’t really handle that, and it results in fights and breakups.

  177. Gee, I wonder if celebrating mentally ill officers might be a factor.

  178. *trouble brewing*

    Not surprised. I wouldn’t recommend going into the armed forces these days.

  179. sounds like that young lady might have that in mind, and be able to handle it.

  180. I’m living with a guy who isn’t the most mature, responsible person in the world.

    I know. I’ll get knocked up. Bringing a baby into our lives ought to wake him right the fuck up.

  181. I suspect Paula will be more involved than she is now. Her hesitancy is about the idea but she is a realist and will be on the scene after delivery.

    Our dingoes will eat the baby so I will need to watch them here while she visits the baby.

    And there’s no way she’ll have to choose between diapers and formula versus groceries or paying for heat as far as I’m concerned.

  182. Hotspur, I said her level of common sense was average.

    If it was exemplary we wouldn’t be in this situation and I’d be commenting about trans awareness day or giving you all hemorrhoid advice

  183. Look, just send me the baby. Problem solved.

  184. she sounds pretty normal, for kids these days. No one gets married, until they shack up for a decade.

  185. Sometimes I need hemorrhoid advice.

  186. How is it that there are so many gay activist teachers? WTAF, over.

  187. Same reason there are so many gay pedo priests.

    Satan.

  188. aren’t there less pedo priests than teachers, percentage wise?

  189. twitter: the ruble has rebounded to pre-war levels

    So sanctions did nothing.

  190. Teacher explains how she sneaks in her LGBTQ activism while hiding it from parents who might complain
    ——–
    Now let’s do Christian teachers sneaking crosses into their classroom decorations

  191. If everybody who shouldn’t really be having kids didn’t, none of us would be here.

  192. This is how dumb we are…

    If a country holds their own debt, they can simply print more money.

  193. So sanctions did nothing.

    ——

    I mentioned the first week of the “war”, Putin had already made a deal with China for credit and money backing.

    Putin IS playing chess while America plays checkers.

    Another reason to like him…well, his style of leadership.

  194. Nah. He’s barely human garbage just like his current opponents. Ukraine is a cesspool of corruption AND Putin is a calculating monster. The enemy of my enemy is most certainly not my friend, in this case. We don’t have to be binary about this.

  195. It’s pronounced biiiiiiiii-naaaaaaaary.

  196. aren’t there less pedo priests than teachers, percentage wise?

    Far, far fewer, but they are both there for the same reason.

  197. twitter: the ruble has rebounded to pre-war levels

    So sanctions did nothing.

    ======

    Added impetus to replacing the US Dollar as the world reserve currency, so there’s that.

  198. I don’t think that all the teachers are gay. They’re just very liberal and, let’s be honest, not very smart. So the gay ones are SUPER loud, because (again) not smart. The “allyship” is strong because they’re all leftists.

  199. Teachers pump up their intellectual bone fides now with bullshit woke weak thinking, instead of ACTUAL academic discourse. Because … again … they’re not very smart.

    Teachers USED to be smart. Some. And some probably still are. But a lot are mentally weak. Having woke discourse is easy because you really don’t have to know anything and everyone will probably just nod along with you.

  200. Congrats, Mitchell, 25 years is a long time in one place.

  201. Thanks Roamy! Just had our little party – well attended, it was nice. I got a very cool pocket watch.

  202. I was thinking about what y’all said about your teachers, and the same is true here. I didn’t know if my teachers had spouses, usually the Mrs. vs. Miss was a giveaway, and Miss Barefield got married when I was in 4th grade. I didn’t know if they had kids unless one was in my class. I didn’t know what they did on the weekend or where they went for vacation, with the exception of Mrs. Lorentzen in 6th grade who went on a missionary trip to Haiti that summer and told us all about it. I can still remember her telling us about the little kids recognizing her as an American and constantly begging, “En dollar! En dollar!” Mostly they minded their business and focused on teaching.

  203. Pocket watches are cool. Nice.

  204. I knew if my teachers had spouses. They did. They were brides of Christ.

    We never asked about their sex lives. Or what they did over the weekend.

  205. >>Tushar, you’re an Indian. How do you feel about these laws regarding the reservations?

    I have reservations about the health department policy of conducting health inspections on convenience stores.

    Thank you come again.

  206. Yeah, that must be a real bitch. They don’t do it in the white stores. If they can even find one.

  207. We never saw our teachers outside of school. My son was raised in a little town, so he interacted with them outside of school often.

    When I was young, we didn’t really interact with adults much at all. Here, kids are constantly with adults, a lot of dads on ranches watch the kids if the mother has a regular job. They go to brandings, regular ranch work, etc.

  208. When I got to high school (not Catholic) we knew who was married. You simply looked at their left hand. The only one I really cared about was Mts. Trimmer, because she was hot. But — Mrs. Duh.

  209. Then there was Miss Bender. We knew she wasn’t married, and we all wanted to.

  210. Mrs Tarbett taught the other 2nd grade class when I was a kid. She got artificially inseminated. We had to whisper about it, because talking at full volume about it would have been mean.

  211. Sorry, Miss Tarbett, I misstyped.

  212. If we said it once, we said a hundred times; we wanted to Bender — over a chair.

  213. It’s almost 100% certain Mr. Troutwine and Mr. Creech were queer. (Gay hadn’t been invented yet.) Miss Waltz, the girl’s gym teacher, was definitely a lesbian. We honestly thought it was funny, but we were never disrespectful to their faces.

  214. Pretty sure about 95% of my teachers wanted to get through the lesson plan and avoid personal conversations which had nothing to do with their job . Those types of convos happened in the teacher’s lounge.

    Similarly to my job. Pretty sure my tables don’t know my life- although a few do (small town). There is nothing necessary to my job about telling anyone personal stuff. Same with teachers.

  215. I’m not making a binary choice. I actually like his style of leadership.

    The problem with hating Putin is we do everything he does in this country.

    There are hundreds of Jan 6 people still in jail.

    We bomb.

    CIA thieves.

    I could go on and on.

    Seth Rich?

  216. Also, he puts his country first.

    If only we did. Putin would never have invaded Ukraine.

  217. Well … he didn’t put his country first when all the money for healthcare, etc, went into the pockets of connected people.

    But I get it. He’s been braver than most political leaders and I do admire him for that.

    I just pretty much only believe about 50% of what hear coming out of that region. From either side.

  218. Hi Mitchel,
    I caught your comment from last night. I think this part of Florida has a lot going for it. You would do well to consider it. The weather is fabulous 5 months of the year and tolerable the rest of the time, traffic is bad, and hurricanes give you an excuse to exercise your inner prepper. If you fish there is plenty to catch and tons of other outdoor things.
    Congrats on the retirement!

  219. liar . Teacher in Oregon “afraid” to tell anyone he was gay?
    Yea, ok.

  220. VMax, I was in Florida March 17-20. Landed in JAX, picked up a friend, and drove to Homestead (near Miami). FL is so much nicer than NJ.

  221. That is a bit of a drive Tush. Homestead is the gateway to the keys, should have gone a little farther and seen the fishing capitol of the world, pretty darn good for snorkeling/scuba too

  222. I had very little time. I drove on the road to keys. I think I got about 30-40 miles and had to head back.

    I went to an Ashram and learnt Yog (you guys call it Yoga) and Dhyan(meditation). Yeah yeah, I know… I haven’t been fully Americanized yet.

    One of my Gurus was Indian, but the other was a German guy!

  223. I can do that drive with just one stop, and that one for fuel.
    I had a Dodge Challenger.

  224. Tushar, I was in NJ a couple weeks ago. I don’t remember where you live, so I periodically rolled the window down and yelled “hey Tushar!” But I guess you didn’t hear me.

  225. I went to an Ashram and learnt Yog

    What a coincidence.

  226. Was it a Hemi Tush?
    I sure miss mine.

  227. Sobek, I now live in a single family house not far from the townhouse you visited. Gosh it has been 13 odd years.

    VMax, it was a basic rental, so unlikely to be a big hemi. Just basic 300 HP V6. But it was fast enough.

  228. Oh, and Sobek, I really really hate that an asshole named Hari Kondabolu killed Apu. Fcuk that asshole. I hear they are bringing him back, but to be woke, he will be dubbed by an Indian guy. It won’t be as awesome as Azaria’s Apu.

  229. I live (mostly) in the DC area, so if you’re ever down this way, please let me know.

  230. Is it more common in the Indian community to be pro Apu or anti Apu?

  231. Most of us are pro Apu. The rest are assholes.

    There is a young US born stand up comedian named Akash Singh. He has a nice segment where he makes a case for bringing back Apu.

  232. I do t really want to know but which one am I in that scenario?

  233. OMG they killed Apu?? YOU BASTARDS!!!

    think this part of Florida has a lot going for it. You would do well to consider it.

    Oh, we’re WAY beyond considering. It’s happening. I’m already packing up the house, got movers lined up and realtors looking for a new place there. Lots of stuff still to do but everything’s underway.

    Oh give me a home where Florida Man roams!
    Where the bugs and the gators all play.
    Where always are seen broad lawns and trees green,
    And the desert is two thousand miles away!

    Home, home in the swamp!
    Where the geezers and ‘skeeters all romp!
    Where always are seen lush vistas so green,
    And the desert is two thousand miles away!

  234. Heh Mitchel
    I forgot to mention the roaches the size of playing cards, my family’s first pool was not caged. It collected a metric shit ton of long leaf pine needles (10-12″ long) a day, and at least half of the wildlife within 2 miles every night. I think that swimming pool was responsible for killing half of the endangered species in the country! From the age of 12 to 17 it was my job to clean the pool every day. I swear I fished out alligators eagles condors panthers hell I think elephants and rhinos shit it in but did not die

  235. We only had 1 family meeting in my life, where my Dad asked if we should get a swimming pool or a boat, I was the only one who wanted a boat, but when he saw it was equally divided he made Mom happy. As he should. I had to clean the pool there after. I probably would have had to clean the boat if it had gone the other way, but I wanted a boat to fish from.

  236. We’ve lived in Florida before – two times in fact, back in the early 70’s when I was small and later in the 80’s in high school. Both times in the panhandle though – Ft. Walton and then near Panama City, but out in “The Sticks”. I’m well familiar with the local fauna: lovely flying giant roaches they call “Palmetto Bugs” as I recall among other things. The house we lived in the last time was on the water and Dad fed his pet (small) alligator from the dock.

  237. Do early risers prosper?


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS