The Day After

Back to the salt mines, losers, unless you took the whole week off or work in the service industry. Serving isn’t really difficult, so it doesn’t count if you have to work a double, or even a fake double. Carrying nice people food and making them drinks—you should be paying them!

 

Serving Her a Glass of Babies Was a Poor Choice

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Pick a letter, any letter. Alright…keep it in your head. was it an “A”? Great. Now choose any odd number between 1 and 99. Next add your age. Divide by 4. The answer, if my calculations are right, is that Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby share more than a common first name.

BBF

Hello hair-pullers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Did you know this is Rob Schneider’s daughter?  He must be very proud.

Your model is a food writer, journalist and broadcaster known for her popular cooking and lifestyle shows on British television.  She was born January 6th, 1960 into the upper class family of Nigel Lawson (now Baron Lawson of Blaby) a Conservative politician who was Chancellor of the Exchequer under Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet.  She stands 5’7″ tall, sports some 32G sized jumper pads and weighs in around 10.5 stone. Please stop trying to be someone else and say hello to Ms. Nigella Lawson.

Bill Clinton’s Weenus

 

This will be an exploration of my long held theory that Bill will not allow Pickles McParkinsons to win the election so that he can continue to dick bimbos for the short remainder of his life.

Have you seen the first dude lately? He looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in ten years or that his alleged syphilis is finally winning the war on women. I kid, I kid. He’s a vegan so you know he has syphilis.

So here’s the theory, in case you missed it in my survey class taught at Muppet U, or if you forgot what was written in the first paragraph: Bill will do anything to prevent Smiley McOpenmouth from getting in the oval office. Way too important to keep his little Gore wet. Yes, for those of you scoring at home, he calls his blank shooter Al Gore.

I bet you’re thinking I’m totally wrong. That the allure of being half of the first ever male/female presidential couple is just too, er, alluring. Consider this: whenever things get good for her, he trots out some sorry statement that even he, a veritable Da Vinci of lying can’t clean up.

Man, that’s gonna sting. Don’t get me wrong, no one cares what he said…except for the only man that might actually make a difference in the election: Golfy McOkieDoke. St Trayvon’s Dad is notoriously thin skinned and its well known that Obama and Bill already hate each other. Bill once told Obama that he should be getting him coffee rather than schlonging his wife (that’s Web Hubble’s job) and Obama’s black half never got over it. If you locked these two in a bedroom closet only one would emerge–probably Bill with panties on his head, wearing high heels, but that’s besides the point.  The hate is real my groovy babies, the hate is real.

Weenus + Viagra >Husband + Most Powerful Woman in the World

Its math, and therefore indisputable, although its probably racist.

FIN

 

 

Saturday Beer Run

Hello my friends.  I have just returned from a whirlwind tour of the parts of Illinois, Missouri and Kansas that nobody ever wants to go to, and I could use a drink.

Or two.

Just one more.

Maybe MJ will be magnanimous and tells us of his European tour.

Special thanks to Colorado Alex for filling in admirably on Friday, and opening up a whole new untapped BBF genre.  

Forest Wire

Yeah!!1

Meet Taralee Guild.

b. 1984 Thunder Bay, Canadia

Well theres floodin down in Texas….all of the telephone lines are down

2015 floods blamed on climate change?

Osama Bin Lobster

Where it’s at.

Stay safe my Texas friends. It’s hard for the rest of us to grasp where the flooding is based on national newscasts. You stay safe too John Kerry. You’re our point man with Iran! If you’re down for the count we may need to send Barak over there to give away the store.