Hello front and back holes, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
Your model was born in Durham, Florida on March 5th, 1995. She stands 5’3″, 34D-22-32 and 108 lbs. Please play along and welcome Miss Nina North.
Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.
Then punch yourself in the balls/vag.
Behold, the Deadmaublanket5.
So I’m currently in Spain after spending the week in Baumholder, Germany. One of the perks of the job is that we go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. One of the downsides of the job is that we have to go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. It’s normally cool, but sucks when the base is located in a backwater next to nothing but small towns and the locals don’t speak English. But luckily I don’t have to do an assessment of Fort Polk this year.
Leon linked to Alton Brown’s announcement, so I thought I’d link to this. I’m just gonna sit here and geek out for a minute. Maybe after that I’ll hit the gym. I could try crossfit.
Meanwhile, I want to try this girl’s lemon curd. Here’s a better video of her saying something that doesn’t strike me as important. She also has an Instagram account, because of course she does. In it, she posts mostly tasteful, artistic landscapes as well as occasional pictures of her muffins.
Archer cocktails.
Some music for your weekend.
Hola bishes. Long time no escribo.
This is a 100% true story that is completely, honestly, 100% on the level with the truth. Estoy siendo honesto, punta maricones. I wouldn’t lie to anyone.
Anonche, en mi cama, I had a vision of a delicious cocktail. Was it the first signs of a budding addiction (it wasn’t)? Was it an implanted memory from our conversation last night (not likely)? Was it a reaction to a brain that will never quite shut off (possibly)? First symptoms of syphilis contracted from your mom (bingo)?
The answer is yes. Never mind what’s in the parenthesis. As you know from watching CNN they like to make sure that headlines are correctomundo as they interpret. But I digress.
What was this sueno de grandeza? It’s the cocktail to end all cocktails. A swanky, frothy, cream filled bananalicious, stripper referencing libation named the Dicking Bimbo!
Grab yourself a blender and get busy with this recipe:
1 oz vanilla or cake flavored vodka
.5 oz brandy
.5 oz banana liqueur (99 bananas is the best)
1 large, phallic banana
2 oz whipping cream
dash cinnamon
ice
Put everything in your addiction mixer and whip it up! It tastes a little like bananas foster, but with a kick. Alcohol content: 6.8 chads. Stripper names: 2.
Hey there paste eaters. Today’s BBF is brought to you by The H2 Brand Weed. Getting ripped since…huh? When did we start getting ripped? Whatevs. Let’s make a grilled cheese.
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I wrote this song after listening to The Doors, ‘This is the End.’ I either down tuned the guitar or decided that A flat and E are good chord progressions. Not sure. I’ll figure it out this afternoon when I should be working. It’s a pretty big rip off, but I know Car in will appreciate it.
Today’s model is a dirty fucking liar. After doing extensive research it appears that her hair color isn’t natural. The drapes don’t match the curtains, IYKWIMAITYD. I guess it’s possible to have a black landing strip and red hair. **applies for government grant** Anyhoo, please stop shooting unarmed black 50 year old teenagers and welcome Lucy Collett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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