Happy | Spatchcocking since March 2009

Happy New Year (and a little HHD)

Good morning, and welcome to the first poat of 2020.

Hope you rang in the new year well.

One final salute to 2019.

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January 1, 2020
Categories: 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, Beer, Happy, Holidays, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, I Love You Peeps, I'm 7 Indians, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . Tags: not tired of winning in 2020 . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 105 Comments

Next up: Memes!

Beware of visitors to NASA, roamy!

WhatBroughtYouToFlorida

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June 1, 2019
Categories: 7 / 9 fucks given, amazing post, American Hero, As Little as Possible, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, Compound W, Fourth Grade, Happy, Happy B-Day Michael, i'm zero indians, memememems, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, Snake juice guzzler, swinging with friends, Tastes Less Like Regular, This is fucking bullshit, Z - we don't have a Z . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 163 Comments

The Town

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September 22, 2018
Categories: #H2, Death by Fishstick, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, dicking bimbos, Dog Centric, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Floppy Disk, FUCK YOU ICE, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Happy, Headless Whoresman, Hitler, Hot Diggity Dog . . Author: Pupster . Comments: 182 Comments

BBF

Hello hair whippers and downloaders, welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Your model for today was born in New York City September 8, 1988. She stands 5’8″ 36E-25-36 and 130 lbs. Please say hello to Miss Tessa Lane!

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November 17, 2017
Categories: 4/10 Would Still Smash, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, Baconwrappedboobbeer, BBF, Don't Talk Shit About Total, flick it, flick it good, FUCK YOU ICE, Genital Itch, Hambone, Hanks, Happy, Hardware, High Society Trash Bloggin', Knockers, Lactation, Lumber, macadamia, Merry Christmas, mesadick, Moist, Molar, Nice Melons, One Foot Muff, pron, Really, robust hindquarters, Rub meat, starfish, Sure Why Not, Things that really matter, This is fucking bullshit, Trump's Fault, TurtleFacePlant, Vaseline Kiss, whiskey, Your Welcome Hotspur . . Author: Pupster . Comments: 146 Comments

BBF

Hello hungry friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Your model was born June 1st, 1987 in Prague, Czech Republic. 5’8″, 40F-28-36 and 136 lbs, please say hello to Miss Shione Cooper!

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August 11, 2017
Categories: 10/10 Would Smash, And Now Another Poat by Pupster, asshole, bacon, Baconwrappedboobbeer, Balls, barely passable trannies, BBF, bbq, Beanie, Beaver Button, Black helicopters, Boobs, Booze, braunschweiger, Brian Williams, Brut, but not the good kind, Buzzcut, Cash for Crunkers, CHAD, Chicks dig a nice tool, Compound W, Consumption, Coonskin, Dan Rather, Dang. I mean...dang., Double or nothing, Drinking heavily, Easter Pig, ember shoes, fat chicks, foreskin, Fourth Grade, fucking genius, Genital Itch, groomin' your shroom, Hambone, Hanks, Happy, Hardware, High and tight, homophobe, I feel like chicken tonight., I used to be funneh and shit, Jayson Blair, Jesus Freak, Knockers, Lactation, Make Him Stop - everybody probably, misogyny, motorboating done wrong, Nice Melons, One Foot Muff, pelvic rest, pelvic thrust, pron, Rub meat, She-Meat, slut, Stetson, Stetson (for men), Suck It., Sure Why Not, taste the rainbow, This is fucking bullshit, those are some big boobs, TITS, Totally Nude, tubgirl, Tuesday, TurtleFacePlant, weiner, What the Fuck, Jenny?, whatever, whiskey, wisermeany . . Author: Pupster . Comments: 124 Comments

Snarky Saturday

My favorites from this week.
This seemed appropriate for H2.
nice-job
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November 19, 2016
Categories: As Little as Possible, Happy, hopey changey shit, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 280 Comments

Happy Birfday, Joe

joe finger

Joe Strummer, the late lead singer from The Clash, would have been 64 today. 2016 has been such a shitty year that I’m frankly surprised he didn’t somehow come back to life only to die again.

Now, I know that punk rock isn’t really most of the Hostages’ favorite kind of music, but these guys are one of my favorite bands. Plus, we needed a new poat until leon puts up tomorrow’s Motivational Madness. And your mom thinks this song rocks.

August 21, 2016
Categories: #H2, asshat anonymous, Balls, barely passable trannies, Caffeine, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Don't Talk Shit About Total, Ed Balls, Fourth Grade, Grippe, Happy, I am judging you, Just Another Fucking Category, Kenya, Kyle, Learn some shit, Music Classics, Nigeria, Old Spice, Punk Rock, quesadillas, Rocky Dennis, She-Meat, Tastes More Like Regular, Your mom likes this . . Author: Sean M. . Comments: 169 Comments

Cross Wire

And so we find ourselves with one foot on the dock and one on the boat.

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April 26, 2016
Categories: asshole, bbq, Buzzcut, Chapeau, Compound W, Electrical, Fucking Wagon, Happy, I am, It must be true!, police involvement, Safety, Sorry., Steamed Lobster, Tuesday . . Author: Mr Chumpo . Comments: 311 Comments

In lieu of HHD

mare made me do it:

Any country male singer will do but here’s one:

NASHVILLE, TN – DECEMBER 15: Recording artist Chase Rice attends the 2014 American Country Countdown Awards at Music City Center on December 15, 2014 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Sara Kauss/Getty Images)

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July 29, 2015
Categories: American Hero, As Little as Possible, Happy . Tags: HHD . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 298 Comments

I forgot to add a title to this Father’s Day poat

Happy Father’s Day to all the Hostage Dads! Just think of all the joy and heartache and life lessons fatherhood has brought you and know that…the following people will all probably be voting multiple times each for Hillary next year:

Brought to you by Sweet Meteor of Death 2016–Because Humanity is Overrated.

Now, funny dad-type pictures… Continue reading →