I boughted this album from a far away place called Germanyland!
Well window lickers it’s time for summer. Down here in the SOUTH (filled with racists, you are issued a hood at the Georgia border) the weather is getting a bit warmer and we are bidding adieu to old man winterspring. Notice how I worked in a reference to de Fuhrer PBUH by using German in that last sentence? That’s how racist we are down here. We speak German, hate cold weather, and are super friendly. I literally have no idea what any of this means. I’m just typing whatever pops into my grey mush.
So, it’s time for sidewalk chalk! A time honored tradition where people go outside with their kids, pretend to hear the phone ring, go back inside to make a drink, then go back outside in about 15 or 20 minutes to make sure the kiddos are still in one piece. While most kids fit more into the impressionist or modern art category, I think I’ve found some rather clever uses of sidewalk chalk for us to enjoy. These fun little pieces of temporary art all use the cracks to make something fun and whimsical.
I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube
The first video I ever sent to Merv.
I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?
The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.
Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.
And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.
Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.
My grandma’s favorite song. She passed before I ever got to really know her, but rumor has it she was kind of an amazing gal. My mom gets teary eyes when she hears it.
My family is from the Ozarks in Missouri and my grandma insisted the family move to California so they wouldn’t be redneck. Never-mind the fact that their front yard was full of shot gun shells from shooting at squirrels (I used to walk around and collect them for whatever reason) and dead crows hung from the trees because they thought it’d scare the crows from eating their crops. When their house caught fire and burnt down, they rebuilt it with a wood burning cook-stove again. No modern appliances needed, thank you very much. These “rednecks” would give you the shirt off their backs if you showed up at their house. Unexpected visitors would get a full meal. I’d watch them pull out a metal coffee can, spoon some bacon grease out of it, put it in a cast iron skillet and cook you a fine breakfast, with fresh made corn bread to boot.
Farm people are a tough breed. I remember in my grandpa’s end days he lived with us and he fell….hard. He broke some ribs and his leg. My mom asked him if he wanted some cornbread before she called the ambulance. Old guy insisted on having fresh made cornbread from scratch before the ambulance was called because he knew the food would suck at the hospital.
Sometimes my grandpa would feed the hogs day old donuts and I can remember my cousins and I running out to the trough to get to them before the hogs did….why? Cuz chocolate. STFU THEY WERE ON TOP, OK?
I always thought this was a neat little newspaper article about my grandma’s parents.
I’m pretty sure we’re living in a simulation. To support this claim I want to draw your attention to the crazy that is 2020.
First, we’re witnessing white people become absolute racists in order to combat racism. I can’t only assume one of our programmers left a hashtag open and, well, here we are.
Second, a Chinese virus that was supposed to end the world – or at least come close – has turned out to be a bad flu season. I would bet all of my fake money that the code was outsourced to India and they read the requirements wrong. Covid = sys.exit() got written as: scriptcovid.2 (covid = flu. Dot not feather, always fucking up the code, amiright?
And lastly, this poor soul seems to have been built from a base character, but the game developers forgot to make the change from sausage to taco.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the weirdest thing on the internet at the moment…Danielle Muscato. Here’s a brief recap of the story if you haven’t heard about it. Basically our friend Danielle went into a Kroger and blew up at some poor soul that wasn’t wearing a face diaper. Danielle tried to get help from the store security guard and manager but they declined to prosecute this grave injustice. In response, Danielle starting harassing Kroger and the manager about their policy, and well, the blowback was swift. Look, this probably happens a few hundred times a day but for some reason this really struck a nerve with people. I have no idea why, except that perhaps Danielle is the avatar for all social justice warriors and you know, is a man.
Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 