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My Friends Are Better Than Your Friends

Wait, wut? So quick baby update and a big thank you to some very nice people for sending gifts to the house. Its been a truly wonderful experience to understand how many people are wishing the little guy well. I’m super pleased that he’ll have a whole group of crazy aunts, uncles, and inflatable sheep to make sure he doesn’t turn into a giant pain in the ass.

Blankie Engineered by NASA

Thanks Roamyrocketchick for the wonderful blanket! Everyone loves a good blanket because its warm and fluffy and made with love.

Here’s a quick easy test to figure out how great blankies are:

Did Hitler sleep with a blankie?

Answer: No.

Le Color Matching Prowess

Thanks T in FW for the awesome artwork to hang in the babeh’s room! I don’t really know how you got the exact color right, but it sort of looks as if you came with me to Sherwin Williams and we had a long discussion about what color would compliment Repose Grey. Nicely done in terms of sentiment and design. GND was blown away (maybe cried a little) and absolutely loves it.

Diapers n’ Shit!

Who doesn’t love a good diapering, eh xBrad? Thank you to the various rah’tards in my life that sent diapers, butt paste, wipes, more wipes, lots of fucking wipes, and more diapers. I expect that we’ll be needing that stuff as the big day approaches.

 

Last thing: The baby will be named after my dad and is scheduled to be delivered on his grandpa’s birthday. Funny how things just kind of work out.

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September 10, 2017
Categories: !RALGNAB, asshole, bacon, Baconwrappedboobbeer, Granny Clinton, Grippe, groomin' your shroom, Hitler, Lobster roll, Lobster Thermidor, Man-lesbians, ManBearPig, Marathon not a sprint, No Drama, people make me sick, Phone blogging, racist, rape culture, Sherwin Fucking Williams, skittles, slut, taste the rainbow, Tastes Less Like Regular, Trump's Fault, truther, tubgirl, wisermeany, Xanthan gum, Your mom likes this . . Author: MJ

65 Comments

  1. Comment by yearningabstractly on September 10, 2017 6:00 pm

    Your friends probably *are* better than my friends. Most of my friends are worthless. If you want to call them “friends.”

  2. Comment by yearningabstractly on September 10, 2017 6:01 pm

    Chi, you’re my friend.

  3. Comment by Car in on September 10, 2017 6:09 pm

    Despite your best efforts, you’re child will be an asshole at some point.

  4. Comment by Car in on September 10, 2017 6:09 pm

    Your

  5. Comment by MJ on September 10, 2017 6:44 pm

    Yeah, but we’re just trying to limit the assholery to normal levels.

  6. Comment by Miley, the Duchess on September 10, 2017 6:51 pm

    Child privilege!

    As someone who couldn’t have children, I feel triggered.

    Just kidding – I’m from the “get over it” school of thought.

    And I’ve fixed my login.

  7. Comment by Jimbro on September 10, 2017 7:23 pm

    They make baby food MRE’s now

    https://is.gd/0gpGza

    But you won’t need them for at least a little while

    https://is.gd/Qacqgf

  8. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 10, 2017 7:51 pm

    I’ll have to see if we have any 1yo girl clothes to send you for when he starts identifying as a girl.

  9. Comment by Pupster on September 10, 2017 8:02 pm

    https://is.gd/SmxbbU

  10. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 10, 2017 8:03 pm

    I actually have a book that I found really helpful that I was gifted and you might get something out of.

  11. Comment by xbradtc (@xbradtc) on September 10, 2017 8:08 pm

    Wait, who’s Miley?

  12. Comment by Chi on September 10, 2017 8:16 pm

    I would ‘a friend of mine,’ but then you’d just say “who the Hell is Chi?”

  13. Comment by Pupster on September 10, 2017 8:24 pm

    https://is.gd/rM7DDA

  14. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on September 10, 2017 8:25 pm

    Looking good, MJ! Honestly, the color match is just serendipity, but I’m glad that it coordinates so well! So what day is your grandpa’s birthday?

  15. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 8:50 pm

    Aww, MJ got a new bankie for his bed…

  16. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 8:51 pm

    I need a toothbrush, but that means getting dressed and driving around until I find a pharmacy…

  17. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 8:57 pm

    I totally would have sent some stuff, MJ, but I don’t know where the hell you live.

  18. Comment by osoloco11 on September 10, 2017 8:59 pm

    I love you freaks. Paste eating window licking MFers

  19. Comment by Jay in Ames on September 10, 2017 9:01 pm

    Don’t let it be known that you didn’t send anything, and you’ll get credit for something that didn’t have a return address. At least it’s a chance.

  20. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on September 10, 2017 9:04 pm

    http://www.tennessean.com/story/weather/2017/09/08/hurricane-irma-florida-guns-shooting-facebook/648796001/

  21. Comment by xbradtc (@xbradtc) on September 10, 2017 9:13 pm

    Where the fuck are all my diapers?

  22. Comment by MJ on September 10, 2017 9:17 pm

    I’ll have to see if we have any 1yo girl clothes to send you for when he starts identifying as a girl.
    ————————————————–
    As if. Xe’s already been accepted to the gender studies program at racist Harvard.

  23. Comment by MJ on September 10, 2017 9:20 pm

    I totally would have sent some stuff, MJ, but I don’t know where the hell you live.
    ———————-
    I’ve moved twice since your comment.

  24. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 9:23 pm

    What are you going to do with all that stuff once Car in steals your bebbie?

  25. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 9:26 pm

    I’ve moved twice since your comment.

    Why not thrice?

  26. Comment by Car in on September 10, 2017 9:27 pm

    Me stealing the baby is part of his plan. He just needs to pick it up when it’s around 13. Those years are apparently not my forte.

  27. Comment by Pupster on September 10, 2017 9:27 pm

    Colex, most hotels have toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, razors, depilatories, bunion pads, rosin, duct tape, phillips-head deck screws, rat poison, combs, etc. at the front desk.

  28. Comment by Car in on September 10, 2017 9:29 pm

    I’m 3 for 5 right now on the teenage years. Ethan’s ok, and erin may right her sails. We all need to pray for Hannah. She’s taken the work hard/play hard mantra to extremes.

  29. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 9:29 pm

    I know, but I didn’t see a toofbrush earlier when I was walking by.

  30. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 9:33 pm

    New Jersey?

    What exit?

  31. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 9:34 pm

    You probably have to ask for the toothbrushes. They don’t keep them out because you can file them into a shiv.

  32. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 9:38 pm

    New Jersey?

    What exit?

    I’m actually on Staten Island.

  33. Comment by Pupster on September 10, 2017 9:42 pm

    https://is.gd/VOorYw

  34. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 9:43 pm

    Charming area.

  35. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 9:46 pm

    Alex, do you have business in NYC?

    You need to drive there. It’s an amazing experience.

  36. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 9:50 pm

    Say hi to The RZA, the GZA, Inspecktah Deck, Raekwon the Chef
    You-God, Ghost Face Killer and the Method Man for me.

  37. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 9:52 pm

    I’m here on business, doing a housing market analysis for the DoD. I’ll probably drive into Brooklyn tomorrow evening.

  38. Comment by MJ on September 10, 2017 9:59 pm

    Thrice would be uncivilized.

  39. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 10:02 pm

    You’ll have fun.

    That whole area is absolutely crazy.

    Check out Manhattan if you can.

  40. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 10:06 pm

    Try to imagine navigating that shit before GPS.

  41. Comment by osoloco11 on September 10, 2017 10:13 pm

    Checks in at H2. Goes back to tracking sharks and turtles on Shark app

  42. Comment by osoloco11 on September 10, 2017 10:20 pm

    I’m already getting birthday wishes with the today sucks afterthought. Sharing with CoAlEx. Try to enjoy your birthday, for what it’s worth

  43. Comment by ChrisP on September 10, 2017 10:24 pm

    Mare,
    Hope you are okay. Looks like lotsa rain & offshore flow…

  44. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on September 10, 2017 10:35 pm

    New Jersey?
    What exit?

    Mr. RFH is from exit 16W.

  45. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on September 10, 2017 10:36 pm

    MJ, glad you like the gifts. Hope GND has an easy delivery of a healthy baby.

  46. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 10:43 pm

    Your mom is familiar with offshore flow.

  47. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 10:52 pm

    I like to imagine that there are two characters named Offshore Flo and Coastal Eddie who are responsible for the weather around here.

  48. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 10:57 pm

    Coastal Eddie has good weed.

  49. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 11:02 pm

    Offshore Flo is a mean drunk.

  50. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 10, 2017 11:08 pm

    Coastal Eddie isn’t allowed within 100 yards of a high school anymore.

  51. Comment by Chi on September 10, 2017 11:16 pm

    Were the dual birthdays today or tomorrow?
    Regardless, Happy Birthdays.

  52. Comment by Jay in Ames on September 10, 2017 11:16 pm

    This is how a Hostage goes to a concert:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4865476/New-York-party-goer-buries-vodka-underground.html

  53. Comment by scott on September 10, 2017 11:16 pm

    Coastal Eddie will sell you a toothbrush for a dollar.

  54. Comment by Sean M. on September 10, 2017 11:28 pm

    You wouldn’t know it to look at her today, but Offshore Flo was in Penthouse back in 1973.

  55. Comment by Sean M. on September 11, 2017 4:06 am

    Did you never call? I waited for your call
    These rivers of suggestion are driving me away
    The trees will bend, the cities wash away
    The city on the river there is a girl without a derp

  56. Comment by Jimbro on September 11, 2017 6:49 am

    Can’t wait for the blog to transition (cough) from baby rooms to muscular women

  57. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on September 11, 2017 7:10 am

    Tested 3 MRE heaters that were 5+ years old. Two worked, one didn’t.

    Hope our Florida folks are okay. Irma is moving into my neighborhood today, school has already been cancelled.

  58. Comment by Car in on September 11, 2017 7:34 am

    wakey wakey.

  59. Comment by Car in on September 11, 2017 7:49 am

    Not boyfriend may be getting the axe today.

  60. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 11, 2017 8:00 am

    I’ll be not surprised.

    MMM in about 15 minutes, did my morning chores first today.

  61. Comment by Car in on September 11, 2017 8:11 am

    *waits

  62. Comment by Jimbro on September 11, 2017 8:18 am

    Waits with Carin…

  63. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 11, 2017 8:20 am

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2017/09/11/mmm-290-now-the-real-work-starts/

  64. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on September 11, 2017 8:20 am

    What did notaboyfriend do?

  65. Comment by mare on September 11, 2017 9:16 am

    Welp, we dodged that bullet, A few trees down but we never lost power, no windows were broken and no water damage at our house. Hope my daughter’s home faired as well.

    MJ, so, so happy for the two of you (three of you)!!


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