I thought it was fitting. A song about an informer, sung by a white Canadian pretending to be a black Jamaican, for the White House of a community organizer pretending to be a President, and seeking Americans to inform on other Americans for telling the truth the government won’t tell about the Hell Care Power Grab Reform Plan.
And if you wanna whine about me kicking Rosie in the junk with this post, keep in mind the fact that he put up the prior one, and its been up for over 12 hours now.
You may now go back to your regularly scheduled dissing of TBOM and his cavernous anal cavity.
Media double standard? WHA!?!?! Dog bites man? WHA?!?!?!
Every left-leaning Obama-loving talking head I’ve seen today is outraged, OUTRAGED I SAY!!!, that Glenn Beck dare say that the President of the United States of America doesn’t like white people.
Meh.
Where was the liberal outrage at that slur? Alex, I’ll take “Things That Weren’t There” for $100.
The Pike Place Fish Market is the legendary home of the flying fish: Halibut as big as a wrestler’s thigh, spiky medallions of crab, the smooth, rainbow flesh of Chinook salmon, all become rapid-fire marine rockets in the hands of Seattle’s fishmongers — who are as famous for the speed of their fish as for its freshness.
But did anyone ever think of the fish?
No, because the fish are dead you fucking idiots.
Asserting that the practice of lobbing fish above the heads of patrons and tourists at the market and other venues is disrespectful to creatures that already have gone through a lot, an animal rights group is protesting plans to stage a flying-fish exhibition at an upcoming national veterinarians conference in Seattle.
Ultimately, they would like to see the practice banned at the fish market too. They argue that tourists would not be nearly so eager to snap photos if dead kittens or gutted lambs were sailing over their heads.
“Killing animals so you can toss their bodies around for amusement is just twisted,” said Ashley Byrne, senior campaigner for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in Washington, D.C.
I for one would snap more photos if it were dead kittens or gutted lambs but that’s just me.
Hey PETA, can you not find one cause more worthy of your time and resources than some people playing catch with a dead fish? Is that really the most critical social ill you can spot on your retard outrage radar?
Idiots.
Here’s your award. Wrap a dead fish in it and shove it up your ass.
Greetings Morons, Hostages, Captives, and Detainees.
As you may have figured out, the man-lesbian who normally brings us this, the most hallowed of Friday institutions for peoples in the know on the Intartubwebbiethingies, was unable to bring you today’s edition. Something about the second phase of his gender reassignment surgery or something of the like. Being a regular here, I figure that I really don’t want to know. Anyway, being experienced in casting pearls before swine, and expecting that no matter how splendid a table I set, most of you would bitch while choking down every morsel you could cram into your gaping pieholes anyway, lets have at it. Bring on the music!
I confess to being musically scitzophenic. You’ll find it all on my CD racks. Gregorian chant, Bach organ fugues, Beethoven, Handel, The Sex Pistols, The Clash, Bob Seger, Grand Funk Railroad, Bad Company, The Eagles, Jars of Clay, Casting Crowns, Vince Gill, Josh Turner, Johnny Cash, Bruce Hornsby (who puts on the best live show you EVAH will see in your life) and Harry Connick, Jr. However, perhaps the most emotionally affecting, sledgehammer to the ballsack music I have ever heard comes from Evanescence.
I was turned onto Evanescence by a friend and former blogger, The Barista, during the valley of the shadow of darkness of my life, my thirty fifth year on this wondrous globe. She posted a link to a video of the following song, and I was completely possessed by what I described as a “morphine-laden corkscrew for the soul”. The last time I had been so swaddled in melody and lyrics and carried off in a fashion that amounted to a damn-near out of body experience was when I first heard the Cowboy Junkies “Misguided Angel“, which lead to the only musical pilgrimage I have ever made in my life. On one of my trips to Toronto, I made a visit to the Church of the Holy Trinity, where The Trinity Sessions was recorded. I came away amazed that such a small and unassuming space could make such a big sound. As for the Evanescence album that the following song appeared on, The Open Door, I highly recommend it. At $13.00 at the local Wally World, it was the cheapest therapy session I ever had, and if there is one thing I know that the Hostages can benefit from, its therapy. Barista darling, on the off chance you are reading this, know that it is for you.
Today’s BBF is making a return visit to our monkey-poo laden corner of the moronosphere. Why a repeat? Because she is the hottest young lady to grace the zeros and ones of BBF. Gentlemen, and Ladies…I give you LUCY PINDER!!! Yea!
First, in the Pizza Stalking Pose made famous by She-Who-Terrorizes-Cheeseburgers, the ubiquitous Kerry Marie.
Next, showing off the look that makes me all set to go swimming.
Discussing the stuff that really matters, because let’s face it: The details like bust size and where she was born are for the dumbasses who actually read the articles in Playboy when they were growing up, and for the catty haters who want to engage in all sorts of pointless speculation about whether she is sporting real or fake and other topics calculated to remove our attention from her cleveage, where it truly belongs.
She can arrest me anytime she wants. In fact, I’m sure I’ve been a very bad boy.
On this day in history,
1630: With some 1800 Puritan settlers, John Winthrop lands at Salem, MA. Ostensibly, it was to pursue religious freedom outside of the onerous control of the Church of England. However, the little know real reason was to found a nation without the twin scourges of Green Church Jello and Pure Lutheran Doctrine™. Sadly, they failed, and the world has been afflicted with Innocent Bystanders.
1898: The Philippines declares independence from Spain.
1935: Senator Huey Long makes the longest speech on Senate record, talking for over 15 hours and speaking some 150,000 words. And he did it without the use of a teleprompter.
1939: The Baseball Hall of Fame is dedicated in Cooperstown, NY. No record remains to tell us if the workers who built the building went on strike to protest the owners making “outrageous” profits from their labor and abilities.
1942:Anne Frankrecieves a diary for her birthday. Jewish Martyrs One, Evil Anti-Semitic Nazis Zero.
1963: Civil rights leader Medgar Evers is assassinated by Byron De La Beckwith in Jackson, MS. One in a series of politically motivated assassinations in that decade.
1978: David Berkowitz, the New York City “Son of Sam” killer, is sentenced to 365 years in prison. Ghoulish marketers still sell products with his name and likeness to Ghoulish people willing to purchase it.
1981: Major league baseball players go on strike over the issue of free agency. One of a few strikes in my lifetime. Honestly, I have a hard time sympathizing with the plight of a few pouty millionaires who get to play a game for a living, and don’t think they make enough money for the privilege. Tough to stomach when I knew guys who were really good and would have played for food and a place to sleep.
1943: Marv Albert, sportscaster (New York, NY) No women were bitten during the writing of this post.
1952: Spencer Abraham, U.S. energy secretary (East Lansing, MI) Spencer, Former Michigan Governor John Engler and Iall have something in common. We all earned our Juris Doctors at Thomas M. Cooley Law School in loverly Lansing Michigan.
Well, this week I got to do good things while also getting to write 67% more nastygrams than usual, which makes the Lawyer Baby Jesus laugh and laugh. I plan to have a good weekend and you should too. Its summer. Time for cooking out while drinking your favorite adult beverage, checking out the scantily clad women, playing in the water, and making fun memories. Enjoy it now before compulsory voluntary ObamaService is mirthlessly imposed on us all.
Its hard to be paying attention to the travesties being compiled by “our elected officials” in Washington D.C. these days and not feel like you’re shouting into the teeth of a hurricane. Each passing day brings a fresh outrage, and it is difficult in the face of such an onslaught of offal to not start to feel that it is all part of the left’s plan. Simply pile outrage upon outrage, until they become so commonplace that many people simply fail to take notice any longer. Compound these assaults upon the rule of law and the preservation of our body politic, until even the most astute and keen observers among us are robbed of their erudite criticisms of the audacious effrontery of the Pretender-In-Chief and his gang of socialist thugs, simply because there are only so many ways to cry wolf when you are nose to snout with the beast before the warning is bled of its urgency.
The cabal of CHANGE! has stepped to the podium, and is determined to enshrine its destructive ideals and policies by simply overwhelming the opposition. As Professor Klavan so astutely warned, “SHUT UP!” is now considered a valid response by the left to any criticism. This coup would not be possible without a willing press, and decades of declining educational standards, revisionist history, and an educational doctrine that embraces moral relativism and a deep seated “Hate America First” philosophy. It has proved to be a powerful concoction. It is much easier to report a story when the audience does not understand that the story is about the burning theatre in which they are seated. In this atmosphere, it is easier to marginalize those who would raise the alarm. The left can laugh and point to its detractors, while saying to the massed audience “See? They’re always saying that! That’s just crazy talk! They are such wingnuts, and we should keep an eye on them, in case they become dangerous some day.”
It is a remarkably safe direction for the left to take. In such an environment, with the assistance of a willing media, eager to aid and abet any crimes perpetrated against the republic as long as they can be praised for their “enlightened viewpoint” and continue to be invited to all the best parties, the architects and foot soldiers of this thus far bloodless coup can operate free from fear as they look us in the eye and tell us the most brazen lies, smiling as they do so. America is being gaslighted on a national scale, and those who keep telling us that we aren’t crazy unless we let this continue are being made to appear less relevant with each passing day.
So why the brazeness? Because the left understands the Right’s inherent respect for the rule of law that the left has no use for. There are many among us who, no matter how much the left chooses to slap us in the face and steal the fruits of our labors, will remain firm in the belief that a stern look and the threat to whistle for a cop will cause the offender to cease and desist. Many on the Right are reluctant, either as an expression of good manners or a strong sense of honor, are not compelled to do anything more. Our opponents suffer from no such impairments, and while they know that there are some lines that they dare not cross…yet…their current course of action is one in which they plan to remove all avenues of escape from their increasingly overt tyrannies, so that we will be left, in the end with naught but a terrible choice, the likes of which reformed a new nation on the corpse of more American dead in a four year period than suffered in any other conflict fought by Americans. If we are at last left with such a terrible result, it will not be without careful and deliberate maneuvering by the covetous kleptocrats currently in office. We can be assured that they will do all in their power to reserve any advantage for themselves, be it the deliberate redistribution of resources, the perversion of law until the expression of their demonstrable perversion of the Constitution is illegal as well as vilified, and of course the propagandic usurpation of the moral high ground with the assistance of the sycophantic and fawning media. They will have made all possible preparations before committing their most provocative actions against the American people. And therein lies the danger for the Right. React too soon, and you are a dangerous instigator. React too late, and you are a misguided soul, doomed to an unnecessarily dangerous and destructive course of action that will forever carry the stigma of having been avoidable in a better educated society. Its quite a precarious position that the left has brought us to. An increasingly uninformed and disinterested populace, crippled with a case of societal ADHD, encourged by a Fourth Estate with a vested stake in the outcome. Shake vigorously, and suddenly America descends into a lengthy flirtation with the very notions that defy every concept formerly held dear when we were busy building the shining city on the hill so poetically invoked byour past leaders. I find myself wondering quite a lot now how the average person felt in 1860, seeing the dark clouds on the horizon, and that knowing the complex and rickety framework of compromises that merely postponed the inevitable will not be able to withstand the coming storm, and wondering what event will be the spark, what collapse will precipitate the coming chaos. Ironically, much like then, it will once again be about freedom. The freedom to live without the chains of a debt forged by representatives more eager to be liked than to make the difficult decisions we appointed them to make in our stead. The freedom to take responsibility for our own lives, and stand on our own successes or fall on our own failures. The freedom to live under a government that provides the basic services that government should, in a frugal and responsible fashion, without continually having to pay for other people’s bad choices, mistakes and failures. The freedom to live in a nation too big to fail under the weight of the weight of an irresponsible and unsustainable debt incurred bailing out those that the government deems too big to fail. The freedom to keep the fruits of our own labors and decide for ourselves how our money will be spent. The freedom to rule ourselves in an environment that does not vilify and ridicule our religion and morality to the exclusion of inferior and and hollow beliefs. The freedom to achieve and be limited only by our ambition, our dreams, and our abilities. The freedom to live without government’s hand in digging in my pocket, and taking food off my family’s table. No matter how much a worldview shaped by an inherent belief in only the base and selfish desires of the human heart tries to tell me otherwise, I will not abandon my belief that these freedoms are my birthright, and the birthright of my children, bought and paid for with the lives, fortunes, and sacred honor of those who so solumnly gave of these things to provide it to us.
And yet America sleeps, somehow failing to understand or care. Never in recent memory has such a legacy rested so heavily on the shoulders of so few people. Still, we are the ones who tend the fires, and ultimately, history will judge us for how we act in the face of such adversity. Hold Fast. Do not surrender, for if we go quietly into the night, surely the future will become a place that we would not wish upon our worst enemy, let alone our children and grandchildren.
This stupid cow, with its fat cow head stuck under the fence, is you.
You are a middle-class sadsack, a Joe Six-pack jerkweed average son-of-a-bitch. Your 401k has been cut in half in the last year. If you still have a job you’re probably pissing yourself that you won’t in a week. You can’t pay your mortgage or your credit cards which you used to buy shit you didn’t need and couldn’t afford. You have a pre-existing health condition related to your habit of shoving fruits & vegetables up your ass so if you lose your job AND your health insurance, you could face a serious health care crisis.
So what do you do? Because you’re a whining pussy, a hapless victim, a diaper-crapping crybaby, you throw your hands up and you elect Barack Obama. Only He can save you by laying His hands on your problems and making it all better. Since you can no longer run to your real mommy, you do the next best thing; you elect one.
Since your stupid cow head is stuck underneath the fence, you can’t really see what’s going on. But you can feel the flurry of activity around you. You instantly feel comfortable knowing that your Savior is busy working hard on your behalf to make everything in your pathetic life better.
And then, after trillions of dollars are spent, hundreds of inane regulations and laws are passed and dozens of liberties are infringed or outright taken away, you realize that your situation has, in fact, not gotten better. You begin to realize, even in your stupid cow brain, that something very, very bad has transpired.
Ohai! We’re from the government and we’re here to fuck you while you’re down help.
The lovely and gracious KKA emailed me these pictures yesterday which, I believe, are of her pet cows. Good job, KKA!!
For those of you that can read, go read THIS. It’s about the best common-sense analysis of the whole “torture” debate I’ve read. Plus it’s short so you can probably finish reading it before you get distracted and start picking your nose.
Don’t you love how the left sees 64 million shades of gray in everything but we should never ever torture, EVAR NO MATTER WHAT NEVER EVAH EVER!!!! Whatever happened to nuance?
I thought the denizens of the right were the simpletons that only saw the world in terms of black and white, with us or against us, good and bad. The left is the side that has context shooting out of its ass to justify all sorts of contortions on nearly every issue I can think of. For God’s sake, those buffoons brag about voting for something before they vote against it.
But nary a single shade of gray nuance can be found on the torture issue for those morally upright ethicists on the left. Give me a fucking break.
The same side of the political spectrum that gave us “unviable tissue mass” to justify infanticide gets tied in knots because we put a bug in a room with a smelly guy. OMG THE HUMANITY!!!!
The fact that these idiots have our national security in their hands scares the shit out of me.
I don’t care if you have an IQ of 1,000, if you don’t understand that there are situations where we should repeatedly sodomize a terrorist with a rubber fist on a hammer drill in order to extract intel to potentially save lives, you’re a fucking idiot.
Save your moral outrage for the next time some Islamic shitstain chops the head off an infidel or some illiterate jihadi straps TNT to his ass and blows up innocent women and children because he can’t wait to get it on with 72 raisins, you America-hating crybabies.
And this doesn’t really fit in with this post, but since b-rad was in the military and he did email me this photo, I thought I should share it. He sent me a photo of his meetup with Sean M. Continue reading →
Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
