Look, jackholes, this is supposed to be Rosetta’s gig, but as he’s one of the only Hostages left still gainfully employed, he sloughed this off on me. Whore.
The best part of Christmas isn’t spending time with friends and family and celebrating the savior of the world and all that. It’s getting free shit in the mail.
I love getting packages (SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH) in the mail.
So here’s the deal. We’re gonna do a Secret Santa this year and you’ll participate and you’ll fucking like it. It will run smoothly, and YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP. Unless you get tapped to give Wiser a gift. Then you get to fuck it all the way up its poop chute.
You: Send me an email with your nickname here, your real meatspace name, and a valid mailing address. You may wish to include you phone number as well. DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 30TH!!!!
Me: I promise not to turn anyone in for the reward on felony warrants.
Me: I’ll put the list in a hat and have dolly pull names out to randomly match you with another Hostage. I’ll email that participant with your contact info, and they’ll send you free shit. That’s the good news. The bad news is I’ll also send you the name of some asshole who will expect you to spend NO MORE THAN $20 on them, and mail it to them.
Questions? STFU AND PUT IT IN AN EMAIL! Which, since you’re asking, is bariejr AT gmail DOT com. If you can’t figure that out, you’re too dumb to play. But any other questions, I’ll be happy to try to answer.
n00bs: You’re welcome to join in. Encouraged, even. Lurkers, guess you better delurk next year.
*
[UPDATE: Rosetta]
I still think this movie will probably suck but this is one of the best movie trailers. EVAR.
Jeeze…anybody besides me still hungover this late in the day? Don’t lie and don’t you judge me!!11!
Maybe a few of these will help…
Some people report that eating this helps.
Maybe I’ll just do what PJM did and keep drinking.
[IMPORTANT POAT UPDATE, JUST FOR ROSETTA]
[IMPORTANT WHORE UPDATE: Rosetta]
This is hilarious. You know how funny it is when people mix up their metaphors? This is a good one.
One the one hand, you have legislators bringing home “pork” to their district. One the other, you have the legislative process being described as “sausage making”.
Enter douche-bagger Bill Weir from ABC who said the following trying to excuse Mary Landrieu’s whoring out her vote:
“The people of Louisiana sent her to Washington to get as much sausage as she could.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Nice job defending that act of prostitution, dummy.
HERE‘s the link if you like clicking on links, link clicker.
Can you feel it?
According to this story linked at Drudge, the Dems (spit) represent the richest and the poorest districts in the nation.
The Democratic-controlled House is now an unusual combination of the richest and poorest districts, the best and least educated, and the best and the worst insured. The analysis found that Democrats have attracted educated, affluent whites who had tended previously to vote Republican.
Which begs the question, ” Who do the Reps (diapproving sigh) represent?
Republicans have tended to appeal to affluent voters since the Roosevelt era in the 1930s and 1940s but recently have appealed more to Southern and rural voters, who often have lower incomes.
“The story is really education,” says David Wasserman of the non-partisan Cook Political Report.He says “educated, wine-drinking Democrats” and poorer minority voters are an effective coalition because both groups are increasing in numbers. Even so, Wasserman expects Democrats to lose up to two dozen seats in the 2010 congressional elections, especially in poorer, white districts.
So obviously, since 1 plus 1 equals 3, Reps now represent the uneducated racist of the south.
Silly me, I thought the correct answer would be:
rich + poor = Dems
Americans – Dems = everyone else that matters
everyone else that matters = the Middle Class
the Middle Class = Reps
Math is hard.
***IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!***–BiW
Rich’s younger self would like a word with all u h8ters:
So, how is the MOST TRANSPARENT ADMINISTRATION EVAH!!! doing? Impeachment anyone? No?
Well then WE should be able to BREAK SOME LAWS TOO!! Its good enough for them, good enough for us! After they are done paying for our Gasoline and Mortgages, we can have GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards delivered with the Unicorns and Skittles.
1). Little Timmy Geitner: Tax Cheat.
2). “Good Time” Charlie Rangel: Tax Cheat.
3). Van Jones: Communist and truther.
4). Franklin “Fannie Mae” Raines: Mortgage meltdown for thee, millions of dollars for me.
5). Eric Holder: Gives the okay to voter intimidation in a nation of cowards.
6). Tom Daschle: A free limo and driver is imputed income? WHA?!?
7). Bill Richardson: Didn’t want major league career interfering with the President’s agenda so withdrew from the nomination for Commerce Sec.
8). Nancy Killefer: The numbers…there are so many of them…so confusing. Wait…I must report all income? WHA?!?!
9). Chas Freeman: Couldn’t pass muster after being nominated to the National Intelligence Council. The reason? JOOOOOOS.
10). William “Cold Cash” Jefferson: Katrina victimized his freezer.
Somehow, this fits. Please don’t ask how. Rosetta added half the list. Can we haz trollz?
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