Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.




MMMmmmm…that’s some angry angry anger-music.  Gets me pumped up before werk.

Your model for today was born August 5th, 1987 in Prague, Czech Republic. She stands 5‘8″ , 38E-24-35 and 125lbs, please hoe your own row and say hello again to Miss Marie Lambo !


  1. She looks like she smells of desperation and daddy issues.

  2. Dem titties are makin me thirsty.

  3. She needs you to cosign a loan or something.

  4. I took today and Tuesday off work…no plans really. I suppose I should start the mosquito eradication program before it gets out of hand.

  5. Rolling over your stockings isn’t really a good look.

  6. I wanted to take time off, couldn’t justify it. Our transition efforts have been stymied at every turn. I’m starting to wonder if that’s ever going to get better.

  7. Tree pollen is really, really high right now and it’s a nice, dry day, so the weather is great for yard work but I’m going to be itchy-faced.

  8. Rolling over your stockings isn’t really a good look.

  9. She’s probably got a kid she won’t tell you about until after the third date.

  10. I need to quit falling asleep to ION TV at night. Whenever I do, I end up waking up in a really pissed off mood.
    I realized that it’s because that Michael Murdock asshole is on at 0500. He is actually an entertaining speaker, kinda funny at times, a good storyteller. But the fucker is preying on the weakest of the weak with his “plant a seed” BS – “send me $58 a month and God will reward you with all the riches!”
    I want to find him and kick him right in his seeds…

  11. She’s probably got a kid she won’t tell you about until after the third date.

    And chlamydia.

  12. Prosperity gospel is easily the worst of the newer heresies.

  13. God is not an ATM. Acting like he is disgusts me.

  14. Arianism and Gnosticism remain popular, though they usually have other names.

  15. Prosperity gospel is just disgusting. A good way to see my pastor get instantly pissed is to bring that garbage up.

  16. I guess that’s how so many of the TV preachers become multi-millionaires. A certain amount of charm & charisma. But not ethical enough to be a used car salesman or a politician.

  17. Interesting article on Theranos and the dysfunction there.

    The biggest problem of all was the dysfunctional corporate culture in which it was being developed. Holmes and Balwani regarded anyone who raised a concern or an objection as a cynic and a nay-sayer. Employees who persisted in doing so were usually marginalized or fired, while sycophants were promoted.

    Employees were Balwani’s minions. He expected them to be at his disposal at all hours of the day or night and on weekends. He checked the security logs every morning to see when they badged in and out. Every evening, around 7:30, he made a flyby of the engineering department to make sure people were still at their desks working.

  18. Some of the best Catholic apologists make just enough to have nice, middle-class houses and feed their kids.

  19. The Babylon Bee is hilarious in its hatred of Joel Osteen and other prosperity gospel preachers.

  20. Prosperity gospel or preaching is a new term for me. I know it’s out there but didn’t know there was a term for it.

  21. What’s the name of that mosquito spray Scott likes? We used some last year and it seemed to help.

  22. The Babylon Bee is hilarious in its hatred of Joel Osteen and other prosperity gospel preachers.

    It’s their best stuff, imo.

    Hang on, I have something O’Steen related. Gimme a sec….

  23. We haven’t had a skeeter problem yet, but I’m planning to try the dry ice thing this year.

  24. There we go…..

  25. Ha! Second one for those too lazy to click. (And because I meant to do it in the first comment but forgot how.)

  26. What do you use Pupster?

  27. Ha! The Bee is awesome…

  28. Rachel Dolezal, Who Posed as Black, Accused of Welfare Fraud

    Talcum X’s sister is in trouble.

  29. Doesn’t scott use the gas powered skeeter burner?

  30. Yeah Jimbro. Prosperity Gospel is a new term for me too. I don’t know why I’ve never heard it before. Hell, Pat Robertson lives just down the road from me. He’s not the worst, at least.

  31. Doesn’t that prove that she’s really black?

  32. No jokes about welfare fraud being a black thing. Welfare fraud is a multicultural activity enjoyed by Americans of every race and creed, and quite a few legal and illegal immigrants as well!

    It’s almost like a system where you give people free shit for showing up is ripe for abuse.

  33. I used Ortho Bug-B-Gone last year. You connect the bottle to your garden hose and spray. It worked OK for a while, but the neighbors didn’t do anything so it was only so effective.

  34. Mosquito Magnet kicks ass.

    We also use Terminix Bait and Kill. It works well too.


  35. The mosquito magnet works great on the later, Summer mosquitoes. It seems to draw in the fast Spring mosquitoes too but I think they are stronger flyers (fliers?) because fewer of them get sucked up into the net. I think next Spring I’m going to make the fan contraption that blows into mosquito netting, and set it up right next to the mosquito magnet and catch them better that way. Use a high-powered fan.

    The spray we use is Terminex bait and kill. Lowe’s sells it but it doesn’t seem to be getting carried at the stores, only online. I bought a couple 2-packs at Amazon. It works great.

    Only problem is that some of the bottles have a defect. One of my four bottles I only got half of the juice out of. The other three feel fine.

    You can tell if it’s a defective bottle or not when you shake them. A good bottle feels like it’s got something soft going ‘thunk’ back and forth inside it. A bad bottle feels like a can of hairspray or paint, with liquid splashing around inside. I just take it for granted that we will have to buy extra, and the actual cost of the product is higher than advertised. It’s still worth it because it works that great. We live on a swamp.

    Because it works great, I have a feeling it is about to be discontinued and I am tempted to buy up a whole bunch of it. I just don’t know what kind of shelf life it has.

  36. I consulted with Mare, and Mare said, “She does NOT seem nice.”

  37. Didn’t you use a barrier spray Scott?

    I can’t find the shit I used last year, thinking about getting a fogger and playing all spooky ’80s slasher flick on the woods out back.

  38. Yeah, Terminix Bait and Kill. I saw a big difference last year but it was still southern canada.

  39. yeah, it’s the state bird up there.

  40. A buddy of mine lived in NW Minnesota for several years. I went up there to visit one summer. I was stunned at the mosquitoes. Size of fucking small birds. Put Florida skeeters to shame. Maybe because cities/county/the state sprays on a widespread basis down here?

  41. They spray with helicopters around here, but every depression is a fucking infested swamp, 10,000 lakes my ass.

  42. I’m going to Loews, anybody need anything?

  43. Yes! That epoxy stuff on the plumbing aisle. About the size of a roll of quarters.

    Actually, I should be heading out for lunch soon, then going to bid a bathroom remodel.
    I don’t want to do it, but if the money is right, I can’t pass it up.

  44. Large eye hooks (big enough to hold at least 130-150 pounds), hank of nylon rope, duct tape, propane tanks, burner attachment for the tanks, 15 x 15 tarp and a couple of bags of lime.

  45. Terminix … now I remember, bought it online. I’m worried a mosquito magnet would take a walk at camp if we left it outside all the time.

  46. wakey wakey.

    QOTSA was freaking amazing last night. I was right at the absolute front, and they played a record 22 songs – including two of my absolute favs.

    Crossfit served me well, I will say. It got a tad rough with the crowd surfing and moshing. Fortunately, no one pushes this 50 y/o woman around. Surprised at how … puny some of those guys were. That’s all you got?

  47. I need some of those felt thingies you put on the bottom of chairs to protect a hardwood floor, Pup. Thanks.

  48. Some more rope, a few bags of good garden dirt, twine, orange cleaner, a case of water, yellow peone (2), and a yorkie.

  49. I just used the cheap, simple hibachi Scott bought me to make hamburgers. This thing reminds me of the one I had when I was young. Perfect control over the heat and flame, and it sips charcoal efficiently. Great for when you just want to grill 8 burgers or one chicken but you don’t want to burn up so much charcoal to do it.

    I love a well-made tool.

    That fruit is hanging so low, it will be covered with ants before you pick it.

  50. I need some of those felt thingies you put on the bottom of chairs to protect a hardwood floor, Pup. Thanks.

    Most-requested item in the whole hardware store. I shit you not. Lowe’s puts that display on an end cap, deep in the store near millwork and behind the hardware department. Some days I’d walk my feet off leading people to that area over and over.

  51. 4 pieces of 1 1/2″ pipe, 8″ long, threaded on both ends. 8 pipe caps, see if you can get them to drill a hole in 4 of them. Double stick tape, ball bearings, 3 rolls of electrical tape.

  52. I love a well-made tool.

    Gross. Someone better slap a NSFW banner on comments today.

  53. I still use an antique cast iron hibachi quite regularly. Found it beside a neighbor’s trashcan a few years ago. I love that little thing.
    It’s just like the one we had 40 years ago.

  54. The old man used to grill on the hibachi. Most of them are cheap ones now but if you want to you can buy a bespoke version for big bucks. I’ve got enough grills now thank you very much.

  55. I have a little Weber that I start chimney starters in that works well in a pinch. Charcoal I usually use the Weber, with the Slow and Sear (an AmazingRibs toy):

  56. Little Weber = Smoky Joe

  57. The bowl food thread on AOS is full of comment funneh.

  58. Technically it’s the Morning Rant thread.

  59. Comment by Car in on May 25, 2018 12:30 pm

    I love a well-made tool.

    Gross. Someone better slap a NSFW banner on comments today.

    There you go.

  60. jeez, that’s on the blog, not on the comments.


  61. I figured it applied pretty much across the board around here.

  62. Just remember, Bcoch

  63. Dear Democrat:

  64. Honor thy tool, and keep it RIDGID.

  65. today’s skank got less attractive as I scrolled down the page.

    Nicely done, Pups.

  66. Heh, I wouldn’t want to be seen here, either!

  67. CARin, it is super important to me that you listen to today’s musical selection turned up really loud and tell me your honest opinion.

    I may have angry music issues. You have to listen to the whole thing, even the studio banter at the end.


  68. I was discussing the hypocrisy of a state rep who demands a $15 minimum wage with a local columnist today. During the discussion, said rep called in and the two of them launched into a great conversation, with the columnist not backing down on the hypocrisy and the rep doing himself no favors.

    “So, Representative, if you are such huge supporter of a $15 minimum wage, why do you only pay your employees $10.50 an hour?

    “‘Cause I don’t have to pay them any more than that. Plus, what’s wrong with me negotiating the lowest wage I possibly can with my employees?”


  69. Heh, I wouldn’t want to be seen here, either!


  70. Fuck off, wiserbud.

  71. Fuck off, wiserbud.


  72. Did you click on the “hello again” link, huh? Didja?

    That’s back from when you knew boobs.

  73. Did you click on the “hello again” link, huh? Didja?



    This is….




  74. 20-year old Weber genesis gas grill
    Pit Barrel
    Big Green Egg
    Weber smoky joe
    Homemade flowerpot grill
    assador de chourico (portuguese pig-shaped tabletop alcohol stove for roasting sausage:

    So we’re up to seven grills now. This is probably enough grills. Maybe. We’ll see how it goes.

  75. Comment by Pupster on May 25, 2018 2:14 pm

    Fuck off, wiserbud.

    This is a high quality comment.

  76. So, chourico is Portuguese for sausage, but assador? Sounds like Yosemite Sam should have a flap over it.

  77. Kind of a speed metal vibe going. Not so much my thing but that works for a workout. I mean, except that it’s pretty angry …

    I’ve been vibing on this one for my workouts lately.

    Older, but …

  78. that was a little bit like last night’s concert. But really, for all their unchallenged anger, luckily not very many of them lift weights or anything. Pussies.

  79. y’all have a great weekend. I’m heading to the in-laws.

  80. Hotspur (the sloop) is going in the water today!


  81. I think all my roofer’s guys quit on him. It’s just him and his kid up there now, and the shingles from the garage are blocking the door behind which my lawnmower rests. I’ve still got another hour or so of mowing yet to do.

    i think he’ll finish the job, but we’re in “don’t hire this guy” territory as far as recommending him.

  82. “How was the concert, dear?”

    “Mom, it sucked. Ethan’s mom gave me a wedgie and called me a pussy. And then Erin gave me the ‘you’re such a good friend’ speech!”

  83. LOL. Nailed it CoAlex.

    We’ve got another future “friend zoned” guy up to bat. We’ll see how this one fares.

  84. She’s clearly a free-floating navigational hazard at this stage.

  85. Weber Smoky Joe
    Weber Genesis
    Broil King (at camp)

    Huh, I need a pig shaped alcohol burner for my sausage

  86. That fruit is hanging so low, it will be covered with ants before you pick it.

    Old men problems.

  87. Huh, I need a pig shaped alcohol burner for my sausage


  88. I need a pig shaped alcohol burner drinker for my sausage

    Your mom says “Hi”.

  89. Two windmills were sitting at the bar making small talk.
    One asks the other “what’s your favorite kind of music?”
    Reply? “I’m a big metal fan.”

  90. Puddles the Clown:

  91. Slipknot.
    Are they the ones that did “bodies?”
    Or am I thinking of the dudes that did “click click boom?”

  92. We’ve got another future “friend zoned” guy up to bat. We’ll see how this one fares.

    You really need to hang up a sign that reads, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” over the basement entrance.

  93. Hey all. I hope everyone’s work week coasted to a gentle stop here before the long weekend…

  94. Gentle stop? No. I worked until 8 PM the last two days.

    I haven’t had a day off in weeks and there is no end in sight.

  95. Feast or famine.

  96. Luckily you can press Laura into slavery helping you.

  97. Slavery.


  98. What’s the name of the phenomenon where you see a news report on something you know very well and can see all the errors in it but within a few minutes accept their other news as factual? I wanted to say Dunning-Kruger Effect (which I see mentioned at Ace’s every once in a while) but reading about that it doesn’t sound right. Any ideas?

  99. Just woke up “in the middle of the night” to a pitch black house. I looked at my watch – 2145hrs? That doesn’t make any sense. It’s like 3 or 4 AM, right? Nope.

    Pro tip, Frank: don’t have lunch with Fred at his local Messican joint (he didn’t even order, they knew what he wanted).
    When I told him I couldn’t taste the tequila in my margarita, he had the waiter bring another shot for it. Then ordered me a second and said “hook him up this time.”
    Went back to his house, talked bathroom remodel over a couple bourbons, & I Ubered home.

  100. A Night at the In-Laws
    A Play in One Act

    Setting: Interior, Dusk

    We’re having cocktails before dinner. Would you like anything?

    No, thank you.

    Are you sure?

    Yes, i’m good. Thanks.

    Perhaps a martini?

    No. Thank you.

    Maybe a glass of wine?

    No thanks.

    We have red or white.

    I’m fine. Thanks anyway.

    How about a beer?

    No, but thanks.

    Are you sure?

    Yep. I’m sure. Thanks anyway.

    Well, I’m making drinks for everyone, so it’s no trouble if you’d like anything.

    Seriously, i’m Fine… thank you.

    Okay, just let me know if you’d like me to make you anything.

    I will. Promise.

    (time passes)

    Would you like a glass of wine with dinner?

    No, thank you.

    Are you sure? I’m having some red wine. Would you like a glass of red wine?

    No, i’m good. Thanks.

    We have white too. would you like white wine?

    No, i’m good.

    Well, i’ll Just give you a glass in case you change your mind.

    Ok. Thanks.

    (Time passes)

    Would you like a cup of coffee?

    No, thanks.

    We have both regular and decaf.

    Neither, thank you.

    I’m making a cup for myself. Are you sure?

    Yes. I’m sure.

    It’s no trouble.

    No, really, i’m Fine.

    How about some ice cream?

    No thanks. Really shouldn’t.

    Are you sure?

    Yes. I’m sure.

    We have enough if you’d like some.

    No thanks.

    We’re all having some, so it’s no trouble,

    No. Really i’m good.

    (Time passes)

    Would you like some brandy?

    No, thank you.

    Then how about some cognac.

    No, i’m good thanks.

    No trouble. I’m getting some for myself.

    No. Really. I’m fine.

    You sure?

    Yes. I’m sure.

    Is there anything else you’d like instead?

    No. Thanks.

    Well, let me know if you’d like something.

    I will.

    (Time passes)

    (Wiserbride to wiserbud): ready for bed?


    (In-laws): is everything okay?

    Me (smiling): yes. Fine. Thank you for a wonderful evening…….

    MiL to FiL (whispering): I think something’s bothering him. He seems tense….

  101. >>>What’s the name of the phenomenon where you see a news report on something you know very well and can see all the errors in it but within a few minutes accept their other news as factual? I wanted to say Dunning-Kruger Effect (which I see mentioned at Ace’s every once in a while) but reading about that it doesn’t sound right. Any ideas?

    Gell-Manning Effect

  102. Thanks Wiser. I was trying to describe it to someone today and got the scenario right but the name wrong.

    May I offer you a cordial?

  103. More accurately, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect. Michael Crichton’s theory?

  104. >>>May I offer you a cordial?

    Thank you but no, I’m good.

  105. >>>Michael Crichton’s theory?


  106. Ask for a glass of ice water next time.

  107. Diet Dr Pepper

  108. The blood of a virgin

  109. Tequila shots, Wiser? Oh, hey, look, USPS is having a union meeting.

  110. I’m guessing the shitbird BIL isn’t there, Wiser?

  111. I was drinking seltzer. It wasn’t like I was dying of thirst.

    And no, BiL was not there. In fact, by the end of this month, BiL won’t be there ever again! SiL finally wised up and filed for divorce!

  112. Meanwhile, i’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to fall asleep on the cement block they call a mattress for the last 5 hours.

    Guess I should have taken those drinks after all.

  113. Now it begins, now that you’ve gone
    Needles and pins, twilight till dawn
    Watching that clock till you return
    Lighting that derp and watching it burn

  114. Y’know, I’m not one to cheer for divorce, but kicking BIL’s ass to the curb is probably a good thing.

  115. Congratulations to SeanM for scoring that new gig as the TD Ameritrade mansplainer. That’s gotta pay better than the golf ball thing.

  116. Good morning, deplorable redneck yokels.

  117. wakey wakey

  118. Warm weather returned yesterday and has made everyone tired and cranky. It’s just a brief visit since off and on rain and cooler temps are forecast for the rest of the weekend.

  119. Paula has already left for her 9:30 Murph Challenge. She wants to reserve a particular pull up bar. Crazy Crossfitter.

  120. Murph is monday. duh.

    And if you don’t understand the pull-up bar thing … I just don’t know what to tell you.

    There’s no way to “reserve” one at my gym. We negotiate.

  121. We’ve been dealing with Star shitting her brains out for the past few days. It began in the early morning hours Thursday around 2 AM. Unbeknownst to me she took a dump in my crowded office behind the desk and I found it a day later when I got something out of the desk in there. She went to the Vet yesterday and it turns out she has the dog version of C. diff.

    Treatment is antibiotics, anti-nausea meds and probiotics.

    Moral of the story: Don’t eat random animal shit you find in the yard.

  122. If the Murph is Monday then she’s really early and sure to get her bar.

  123. That bar must be really popular.

  124. *suddenly stops chewing on a random animal shit I found under the Magnolia*


    *finishes the piece I’m working on and chucks the rest*

    Life is about compromise.

  125. Chi – Bodies is by Disturbed.

  126. Scott, Lauraw’s gonna be shitting in the house later today.

  127. More popular than your mom

    There’s two versions of bars there and she said one is more “grippy”, whatever that means. Being the supportive partner that I am, I wished her luck and reassured her that she’d get the bar she wanted.

  128. Boy hasn’t been friend zoned yet. She has today off so we’ll see if it happens today.

  129. Yea, the bars are all different. And yes, there are better and worse ones. We try to share.

  130. Morning, Pendejo. How’s things?

  131. Thanks car in, but it’s actually Drowning Pool.
    I couldn’t get it out of my head so went to YouTube last night.

  132. Yea, drowning pool. Disturbed is down with the sickness. Coffee’s still working through.

  133. Drowning pool has a different singer, so I’m not a huge fan.

  134. It’s official. My son is a HS graduate. Not a super big accomplishment, but it certainly full fills a parenting goal. Neither of us graduated, and our goal has been to produce a better bear. But it is a bit strange, this transition event. It signifies the end of childhood, and as a parent I find that bittersweet. I hope we were able to provide him a healthy childhood and he looks back on it fondly in the future.

  135. Good job, TT.

  136. All I really remember from that period is that it was a scary and exciting time. I wish him all the luck and success.

  137. Well done, TT!


  138. Congratulations, TT!

    My great-nephew graduated yesterday, and I’m trying not to be torqued about not getting an announcement or invitation when his mom’s side of the family was out in force. Apparently there was some doubt as to whether he would actually finish or not, so the invitations weren’t mailed.

    Jimbro, how many days until Paula’s son graduates?

  139. Welp, this week’s weather looks to suck…

  140. Boy hasn’t been friend zoned yet. She has today off so we’ll see if it happens today.

    We need details! What are his future job prospects? In what way is his home life screwed up? How many of his friends are also in love with Erin? Does he have floppy hair?

  141. Because of course they did.

    another document shows that officials did not seek detention of Harris on May 18 in an emergency hearing called after the teen missed numerous check-ins to confirms his house arrest. He allegedly killed officer Amy Caprio on May 21:

    The kid’s own mother apparently knew he was trouble and begged for the state to lock him up.

  142. I almost wish it would rain today just so it can wash away some o the pollen.
    I don’t remember it ever being this bad. My nose won’t quit running, my eyes are burning like crazy, it’s really horrible out there today.

  143. Not sure I ever noticed with pull up bars, but good, sharp knurling was critical to a heavy deadlift or a proper power clean.


  145. Your mom claims that good, sharp knurling is critical for her snatch.

  146. Buenos Dias, Pepe. Estan bien todos.

  147. Bro Cavil, you could be my co-worker who paid nearly $1K for a condo on Gulf Shores for a week starting today.

    I said, well, there’s fresh seafood.

  148. New Poat

  149. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]

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