Weekend funnies

Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today. Hopefully no repeats.

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Mmmm, new poat smell.

183 Comments

  1. We need details! What are his future job prospects? In what way is his home life screwed up? How many of his friends are also in love with Erin? Does he have floppy hair?

    I’m pacing myself with this one.

  2. Thanks for poating Roamie!

    *looks at the 36 meme tabs open on my browser*

    I might save a weekend draft here in a bit.

  3. Almost time to go garden.

    More coffee maybe.

  4. Slow day. Everyone out BBQing?

  5. I’m trying to motivate to go garden. I still haven’t intellectually solved some problems though, so that’s slowing me down.

  6. I never let my lack of intellect stop me from doing things.

    Roamy, does $1K seem high for a one-week beach rental? Places in Rhode Island are like 200+ / night, and not even very nice places, and not even right on the beach.

    Somebody told me a year or so ago that Gulf Shores was lovely. One of these days we need to check it out.

  7. I got out of bed for this?

  8. Murph time of 43:05, no vest. She didn’t mention whether the bar was the right one so I’m gonna assume it was a grippy one. Local Fox News was filming so she turned her head as she ran by in the hopes her hip surgeon wouldn’t see her if he somehow was watching the news.

  9. We just came back from a morning pick-up job. This guy was quite the piece of work. He took pictures of the items and texted them to the person receiving the goods, so they could hem and haw and decide what they wanted sent or not. We stood around waiting.

    Like, he couldn’t have done that ahead of time? Whatevs.

    Not as bad as the old guy earlier this week. Every time I thought I was done, he’d find more glass for me to pack. This happened 5 or 6 times. Tedious. I think his original quote was for 30 boxes. We took out 63 boxes + furniture.

  10. There’s no graduation happening here Roamy. He failed UTC, the carpentry course he went to in the afternoons. He’s allowed to take some classes next fall for the credits and gets his diploma in December.

    Court date is June 14th for the criminal speeding. He’ll be losing his license then and saddled with a fine.

    I have viewed a HS diploma as a tit endeavor in the past and still mostly do. Some kids are able to make it a superb learning experience by working their asses off and putting effort into the process. But when you put zero effort into it and constantly undermine the people trying to help you it’s a shit show like the one unfolding here.

    We’re waiting for a neuropsych eval which is taking forever to get scheduled because of our hospital insurance plan. He’s had two in the past and this time because of his age Paula is pretty sure he’ll get the formal diagnosis of bipolar which his bio dad has.

  11. His younger brother has made light of the fact that they’ll be going to HS together. There’s going to be some days they’ll need to take the big yellow loser cruiser to and fro school

  12. There are two poats of memes in the draft folder if anybody needs a quick fill in post.

    I’m grilling chicken and hamburgers, it feels like 90 and sunny and I’m the luckiest man alive, my life is awesome.

  13. *holds empty hamburger bun in a generally northwesterly direction*

  14. urph time of 43:05, no vest. She didn’t mention whether the bar was the right one so I’m gonna assume it was a grippy one. Local Fox News was filming so she turned her head as she ran by in the hopes her hip surgeon wouldn’t see her if he somehow was watching the news.

    Good job.

    I’m doing it with a vest, so my time will be a little longer. lol. I’m not going to do all the pullups with the vest- I may start and then stick to a modified version. But I want to do everything else with a vest – so I either scale and do it w/o the vest or scale the pullups. Either way it’s scaled. I’ve done it several times with scaled pullups (jumping usually) and last year I did all the pullups – regular – but no vest – that was a first for me.

  15. I don’t believe he’s been friend zoned yet. I may need to find out about this boy.

  16. Lauraw, it all depends on the location, whether it faces the beach or not, and how many beds and baths. One co-worker who is the master at finding deals split a 3-bedroom rental (I think someone’s time-share) with family and paid about $700 for a week. Hotel right on the beach is $160 a night if you reserve early, $200 if you don’t.

    Gulf Shores is okay, too crowded and touristy for me the times I’ve been there. I enjoyed Cocoa Beach the last time I was there, but that was an apartment rental and nowhere near a hotel.

  17. I am sorry to hear that, Jimbro.

  18. *holds up hand*
    Medium rare with bleu cheese for me, please.

  19. Can he do summer classes and get done sooner, Jimbro?

  20. It was inevitable Roamy. Hopefully with a diagnosis he’ll qualify for some services up to and including a group home and a supervised work setting. Hell, he might realize that being a screw up is no way to go through life. He’s finally away from the crazy girlfriend who assisted some of this decline. She’s moved on to other prey.

  21. She said no when I asked her that. Summer courses are all core stuff he’s already passed. The whole UTC thing was a mistake. It was supposed to be something to keep him interested in another type of training but it required some effort to do math problems for real life situations. If he had stuck with mindlessHS classes he’d have enough credits to graduate.

  22. And they don’t have an online option?

  23. She did mention that a weight vest would make a really nice gift at Christmas. Something about doing a half-Murph next year with the vest on. And the fact it was brought up as a “nice gift” and didn’t just appear via UPS tells me it’ll be pricey!

  24. I had to go to two stupid classes my senior year, only because I didn’t pay enough attention. I forgot to take my second year of PE and one more required elective.
    I had two years of VoTech completed and a job with an electrician already, but to get my diploma, they made me go to gym class with a bunch of sophomores and I picked home-ec as the elective because the teacher was hawt.
    Sr year sucked, but I was out of school by 1100 so I could go to work.

  25. Not sure. Even if they did it would pretty much be Paula doing everything for him and constant arguing about actually helping with the work. He goes to a resource room and has a guy that supervises his homework at school. The other kids at UTC are motivated to learn a trade and the staff treats them accordingly. They are not special needs instructors.

  26. VEst – well, a bunch of people bought the fancy (expensive) vests through the crossfit endorsed outlets. I wanna say they were $175 or so. Last year, I went on amazon and looked them up, read reviews.

    I got on for – I dunno – $60 or so? It’s a WOMEN’s vest – shaped for boobies and what not and smaller. I love it. It doesn’t rub or jiggle, etc. The people who got the fancy ones? Most of the women kind of hate them. They are NOT made for female bodies, etc. Lots of talk about “you’ll get used to it eventually …”

    yea … no thanks. I like my cheaper one
    $20.

  27. My vest also is weight adjustable. 3 pound increments. Some of the others fit “plates”. You can put in smaller weights, but that’ not what they’re made for.

  28. My senior year of college was when I learned that my ROTC scholarship required a year of a foreign language. I was planning on taking one semester of a foreign culture class where we’d learn about Italian wines and different types of antipasto but instead I found myself in Spanish 101 and 102 with a room full of freshmen.

  29. I’ll buy you a new charging cord if you find a way to let Paula know that Carin. She was mentioning a price of around $200 then extra for weights!

  30. That comes with the weights?

  31. Heh. Foreign language. I took two, maybe three years of Spanish (as required) back then and all I can remember is “uno mas cerveza por favor.”

  32. Well, two of my close friends are not going to be grandmas. One just had the the grandchild last week and another announced her daughter is due in January.

    i’m going to need some puppies.Or start hanging out with younger people.

  33. ARE GOING TO BE

  34. Yes, it comes with 30 pounds of weights, which is pretty much all a woman would ever need. Crossfit it is usally 14 pounds so I just go with the 15. Honestly,l you retain a pound of water every other day. lol.

  35. Just tell her that I said something – One lady got a HUGE bruise using one of those fancy vests. I don’t know why they don’t make a “women’s” shapped vest. You can see how the shape – sorta v – works better than a big BLOCK in the front like the other vests.

    People at the box say that since my weights aren’t “flat” it affects the pushups, but it really doesn’t.

    There are differences, but honestly I see no advantage. I like mine.

  36. Most weighted vests I used to sell/(Everlast was the biggest seller) came with nylon bags full of steel shot. Maybe it was lead? But they had pockets everywhere so you could adjust the weight.

  37. Fuck it. I’m just going to order it now. She’ll learn to love it.

    Which is the same way your mom learned something something

  38. These are the fancy ones everyone gets:

    https://www.roguefitness.com/5-11-tactical-vests

  39. They’re HUGE. Fine for men. Not so good for women.

  40. They do make a women’s vest, but it’s similar to mine with the pockets, and twice as expensive:

    https://www.roguefitness.com/women-s-box-weight-vest

  41. Strike that, 2 and a half times or 3 times. The price didn’t include weight.

  42. This one looks nice too, but again it’s pricey. No different than mine. https://www.roguefitness.com/mir-womens-weighted-vests

  43. Amazon says it’ll be here Thursday

    BAM!

    Thanks Carin

  44. You’re welcome.

  45. It’s a surprise. We’re past the gift seasons of Christmas valentines, birthday and mother’s da…. wait a minute. Mother’s Day gift. Wait, that already happened. Oh well, spontaneous outpouring of generosity.

    None of you bring it up or there’s gonna be consequences.

  46. I must be a mutant then, I’m not big on going to the beach.

    Granted I don’t get enthused about much these days, but still, why all that travel time back and forth for…what, exactly, that I couldn’t do here?

  47. I could be at the beach in ten minutes, bro cav. I couldn’t tell you the last time I went. Occasionally, if I’m working a job on a beach front property, I’ll eat lunch out there, but I don’t make trips there to hang out.

  48. Growing up in MA we used to hit the beach often as kids and swim, dig in the sand and get sunburned. In college we’d go to drink, look at women and get sunburned. After that I don’t think I’ve done anything but go for a walk at the beach every once in a while. There’s precious few sand beaches in Maine so unless you like rocks you’re out of luck.

  49. Not a beach person, unless there’s a coral reef nearby.

  50. Just emptied the Mosquito Magnet. There was a nice pile in there, maybe a thousand or so.

    1.000,000 future skeeter eggs……gone.

  51. It’s open house season. I may have to go dark.

  52. Car in goes dark and the whole blog goes off the grid. I didn’t know she weilded such power.

  53. Wielded? Weilded?
    Both look wrong…

  54. Leon will be along in a bit to tell you what’s write*.

    (*put there so he’d have another thing to correct – because I’m a giver)

  55. It’s really freakin hot outside. I’m not ready for this shit yet.

  56. Drinking a glass of water, then I’ll go out and try again.

  57. That their sentence doesn’t look rite.

    Yeah, it’s hot as balls outside today. Between that and the pollen I can only stand it for ten minutes at a time. At least I got all the pots moved to a new spot, watered them and transplanted three more pepper seedings. They were kind of small and tender so maybe too soon, but I felt the need to get out there and do something.

  58. I got all the hoses out of the garage, and filled Moose’s pool (so he’d leave me alone). the I spread the soaker hoses out where I wanted them and dug the holes for the toms. that’s as far as I got.

  59. Moose has a pool?

    The lake is too far away from the garden?

  60. Oh yeah. I fixed a ruptured garden hose and assessed how bad the smoker is. Yes, it’s time for a new one.

    I skipped the water and went straight to a refreshing bourbon & ginger ale with a wedge of fresh orange ½ hour ago. Better than lime!

  61. Yes. the lake is too far from the garden. Basically, when I try to water things, he becomes a HUGE pest, so I fill the pool and he plays with that instead of the hose.

  62. I got lots in, but not done. It is so fucking hot.

  63. I got lots in, but not done. It is so fucking hot

    I think Car in’s mom took over the keyboard.

  64. Your mom said she needed someone to come over and fix her garden hose, Chi. I’m gonna send Erin’s reject.

  65. His floppy hair will probably get caught in the hoseclamp. Then Mom will punch him in his girlsack and laugh. She is tougher than a $2 steak.

  66. When it’s hot like this I spend a lot of time standing and staring at the garden in between bursts of activity. The standing and staring is more tiring than the work, somehow. The sun beating down, bleah, I can’t even think of the next thing to do. I got totally zoned out in no time, today.

  67. When we go to the beach in Hawaii we snorkel every day and sit under an umbrella and read. If whale season, we watch them breach and play. Never about frying in the sun.

  68. Good evening, assorted weirdos.

  69. Back atcha lil’sweet.
    Hope your weekend is and continues to be pleasant.
    Pups is passing out hamburgers & leftover BBQ chicken. Tomorrow, I’ll be doing the same with brats & a fat chicken. Best salad, potato salad and green beans. I know you don’t drink bourbon, so I’ll have one for you.

  70. Dan attended 2 familia graduation parties today, while I was at work. He did the helloing, but didn’t do the Messican Good-bye!!! He just left! Dan to Oso: If I waited around to say “Good-bye”, I’d still be there.

  71. I’m afraid to Google what a “Mexican goodbye” is…

  72. Just got back from watching Deadpool 2. I really liked it.

    Finished with knives for the show, we’ll spend tomorrow getting everything ready. Some friends of ours drive and pass by us, so they stop by and pick up the knives. Safer than shipping them, or checking them in luggage. I don’t check luggage if I can avoid it.

  73. Chi, it usually takes an hour or more to say goodbye to all of the familia. I think Italians have the same timeframe. Dan usually tells me an hour before we need to leave, to start saying Goodbye.

  74. Dan was with both families that don’t recognize our “Don’t hug me rule”. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  75. I see said the blind man.
    Yes not unlike an Italian wedding or even a wake. Plan your getaway an hour in advance…

  76. Back atcha lil’sweet.
    Hope your weekend is and continues to be pleasant.

    I actually got a traffic ticket for coasting through a stop sign this morning while taking a shortcut to buy a Diet Dr Pepper. And when I got to the 7-11, they didn’t even have any.

    Rude words were uttered. Loudly.

  77. Comment by shreddedchi on May 26, 2018 9:22 pm
    I’m afraid to Google what a “Mexican goodbye” is…

    Your mom charges extra for that.

  78. Mexican goodbyes are the best!

  79. Sorry, Sean.
    Could be worse – my asshole neighbor is out there with the leafblower right now – at 10pm ! – for the fifth or sixth time today. Its F’ing insane how OCdD he is wth that thing. There’s nothing out there to blow away !!!

    The next two days promise to be as bad or worse. I will continue to meditate, drink, and hope my buddy stops by with some reefer for a break.

  80. You should sprinkle some glitter around his yard, Chi. You can never get rid of that stuff.

  81. Styrofoam packing peanuts. That was my plan – I just need a drone to drop them.

  82. it usually takes an hour or more to say goodbye to all of the familia. I think Italians have the same timeframe

    Yep. And Portuguese too. I like it though, because those are the moments that you really connect with your cousins and swear to keep in touch (all lies, but cathartic at the time).

  83. Y’all think I’m exaggerating. I swear I’m not. Did de uses the blower 7 days a week rain, shine, sleet or snow. It’s so bad his beautiful wife left him. Proof:

    [IMG]http://i64.tinypic.com/bhf8z8.jpg[/IMG]

  84. I’ll try that again:

    http://tinypic.com/r/bhf8z8/9

  85. I sat on the back deck like a lizard on a rock today. I have freshwater beaches within walking distance, but I’d rather be in walking distance of my own creature comforts.

  86. Mr. RFH calls it the seven stages of saying goodbye. It’s never just goodbye, it’s a round of hugs and thank yous and oh, just one more thing and did you have a coat? did you want to take some leftovers home? We really should go. Speaking of going, one of the children needs the bathroom. Another round of hugs and we mean it this time, we’re going.

  87. Trying to figure out what I’ve forgotten to pack. I tell myself I’m not going to a third world country but still stress over trying to remember everything.

  88. Callin’ out around the derp
    Are you ready for a brand new beat?
    Summer’s here and the time is right
    For dancin’ in the streets

  89. Local news (NBC affiliate) teases story about Ireland’s abortion vote with “Coming up next, a country has a historic vote for human rights”.

    -sad-

  90. Did you see Think Progress’ hot take on that yesterday?

  91. No, I get most of my news from this place!

    j/k I look and listen to a variety of sources but was mostly watching old war movies on AMC and TCM

  92. Something something about how backwards red States are compared to the rest of the Western world.
    Nevermond that all of Europe and any other Western country limit abortion to the first trimester – much stricter than the US, including every red stte in the nation.
    It’s sickening how the Left champion and celebrate the slaughter…

  93. Now that I’m thinking about it, I heard a segment on NPR yesterday that stuck in my craw a bit.

    They were interviewing people about “What does patriotism mean to you?” because it was Memorial Day weekend. The subjects were the usual suspects … immigrants of the legal and illegal variety and the whole thing was an obvious smack down on Trump’s America

    This is how you get more Trump … keep it up you fabulous fucksticks

  94. Sort of how applying the laws on immigration in Mexico here in the US is awful and cruel so let’s have no laws!

  95. I quit paying attention to the news yesterday when I saw a video of the Hoggwash kids lying down on dirty grocery store floors. Try that shit around here and you’ll get a couple shopping carts wheels to the noggin.

  96. Alan Bean passed away.

  97. That leaves four moon walkers – Buzz Aldrin, David Scott, Charlie Duke, and Harrison Schmitt.

  98. heh Elliot is having a blast being off leash at grandmas. new world record in ableskiver eating at 107. http://www.majorleagueeating.com/contests.php?action=detail&eventID=807

  99. Why not 108?

    /in before Scott

  100. 108 would be silly

  101. Guy Benson got engaged yesterday on a boat on a lake where a professional photographer captured the moment. Benson is a likable guy and whatever, but the girlish move where hands are brought up to the mouth in a classic feminine way really made me cringe. He publicly shared and I wouldn’t comment on a post meant for congratulations, but do I have to think this is normal?

    Again, I’m not commenting where I think he would read it and then be labeled a “hater” (although I don’t really care if I am) I’m just wondering what I’m “allowed” to think is not good or right.

  102. This made me laugh

    “It marks his second world record-setting performance of the year and speaks to his greatness, of which there can be no question. In this event, he was composed, smooth, consistent and relentless. Those things, plus God-given talent, result in glory, friends.”

  103. Welp, we are taking the plunge and getting rid of cable today. Savings of about $100/month. Streaming will be the only TV we watch now. Wonder if there will be an adjustment period.

  104. I got a boatload of packing to do today,

    Don’t feel like it.

  105. I had to look up Guy Benson. Fox news contributor, right? Most of the articles that came up were from various gay sites criticizing him for being gay AND conservative at the same time. Quelle horreur! I saw the photo Mare speaks of on his twitter. Meh, whatever. My brother is a married gay conservative and I imagine his husband doing the same gesture (in fact I’m sure I’ve seem him do it when they visit us at our camp). Live and let live, just don’t force me to agree with you all the time.

  106. Mare, an antenna will probably get you a dozen channels or more.

    Sling TV will get you ESPN and about 30 other channels for $20 per month.

  107. How’s the weather down there Scott? We’re in the 60’s and so far it’s sunny. Rain is coming which is better weather for doing indoor stuff.

  108. 92 yesterday.

    50’s and rain this afternoon.

  109. Mare, I have been friends with a gay guy since we were in elementary school. He started doing the lisp and the mannerisms in his 30’s. Now the lisp is gone when he does voice-over work. I don’t understand why he is not honest with himself and tries a little too hard to fit the part. Something in that community, I guess.

  110. I don’t watch the NFL not one game last year. And probably won’t ever watch again. The strange thing is I didn’t miss it one bit. But I’m in a climate where I can kayak, bike ride and swim at the beach instead of watching dumb, assholes play football.

    If I was stuck inside I may feel differently.

  111. Walmart rabbit ears get me over 30 channels. More if I bother to move them around. Many are junk, but more than a few are really good channels – especially if you like the old TV shows (Bonanza, Columbo, Quincy, etc).

  112. so Arne Duncan wants to boycott schools this fall to protest gun violence.

  113. I’m looking into an antenna.

  114. is miss college sports, but I have a radio.

  115. That’s why I got Sling TV.

  116. haha, I see “down there, scott” and think who is that far north?

    oh yeah, jimbro.

    and pupster

  117. I’ve heard that getting a new vwrsion of the old-fashioned rooftop antennas is awesome. Just mount it up in the Attic instead.
    I’ve been too lazy to try this as of yet but if I do it, I will report back.
    Won’t be this weekend, because I have my mind set on walking over to the lake in the neighborhood and catching dinner.

  118. I’d say we get the same weather as the W’s do about 90% of the time, just about a half day to full day later. That’s why my ears perk up when he or Laura mentions any notable weather they’re getting.

  119. I’d cut the satellite tv in a heartbeat, but we are severely limited in internet. Can’t do any movie/show/netflix downloads. I don;’t even watch any Youtube videos.The only reason to have tv is for football season, and they are working hard to ruin that. We would have cut it, but Penelope has several shows she watches.

  120. Weird but when the guy from Spectrum shows up today, we’ll lose our channels but gain internet speed 40mb/whatever. From 60 to 100. Streaming will be happening a lot.

  121. I put mine on the roof, strapped it to a stink pipe.

    Big difference.

  122. I’m perfectly happy to listen to a football or baseball game on the radio. Good announcers are able to translate the action on the field for a radio audience.

  123. I grew up on sports on the radio. tv used to be a treat. jack buck and Pete Taylor (isu) we’re radio icons.

  124. There was a guy who did the UNM football games on the radio who was brilliant. He would give down and distance, formation, live description of the play, and the result. You could literally picture the game in your mind.

    I would try to listen to national broadcasts.

    Announcer: Green Bay has the ball on their own 45, 3rd and 5. Rodgers drops back……oh my!………Wow!……. you don’t see a play like that very often.
    Color Guy: Yo know Jim, that was pretty impressive. I remember a play like that back in 1982. These guys are such good athletes.

    Me: WTF happened? They never say!

  125. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on May 27, 2018 8:18 am
    Alan Bean passed away.

    He graduated from the same high school as our girls did. They have a framed letter that he wrote to the kids at the school after he went to the moon hanging in the office of the school. I always thought that was the coolest thing ever 😊

  126. A lifetime ago, I used to walk to the stadium to watch the Tidewater Tides play ball (Mets farm team). Dwight Gooden, Mookie Wilson, Lenny Dykstra, Darryl Strawberry, Mike Piazza, etc before they made it to The Show. On nights that i didnt have the money to go, i would sit there with a little AM transistor radio listening. I dont know if the guy ever made it bigtime, but he should have – he was good like that. You watched the game on your mind.

    Nowadays I couldn’t care less.
    I haven’t cared about pro sports since the heyday of Tom Landry & Roger Staubach.

  127. So, some rocket surgeon decided it would be a good idea to NOT have the national anthem before a HS softball game. Memorial Day weekend, no less.
    Even the good citizens of California wouldn’t stand for that.
    Because, ‘Murica motherfuckers.

    http://www.fresnobee.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/david-white/article211994924.html

  128. You should sprinkle some glitter around his yard, Chi. You can never get rid of that stuff.

    You are a devious man, Pepe. Where can I subscribe to your newsletter?

  129. We got rid of cable a few years ago. Do not miss it at all. Think we get 36 or 38 channels with an antennae.

  130. Cool, TiFW. How are you doing?

    Chi, that made me proud to be an American and reminded me that the melody for the anthem came from an English drinking song.

  131. He started doing the lisp and the mannerisms in his 30’s. Now the lisp is gone when he does voice-over work. I don’t understand why he is not honest with himself and tries a little too hard to fit the part.

    You should ask him. For serious.

    I worked with a young man, once, who I suspected was a little light in the loafers but he either didn’t know yet himself or was still in the closet. He had his normal voice and occasionally would switch to a feminine toned lisp. I asked him why he was talking like that. He just grinned and switched to his normal voice….and used thereafter around me.

  132. Y’all try not to burn the place down, see you in a couple of weeks. (((squishy hugs)))

  133. Looks like Roamy burned it down on her way out of town.

  134. SAFE TRAVELS ROAMY!!

  135. Who the heck gave Roamie a hall pass?

    Where are you going?

    Come back!

  136. https://is.gd/g3dAeS

  137. I got a boatload of packing to do today,

    Don’t feel like it.

    https://is.gd/5MZzXF

  138. CARin, this would look great on your deck!

    https://is.gd/lAJ0IP

  139. https://is.gd/hO6bOW

  140. It’s 57 degrees.

    This is bullshit.

  141. I got a boatload of packing to do today

    I’ll take “Things Your Mom Said for $500 Alex.”

  142. Does anyone want to adopt a minpin? I have one that I’d gladly give up right now. He’s very cute and way too smart for his own good. Already “fixed” but still likes to hump bitches in heat.

  143. Good afternoon, shmoopies.

    Whose turn is it to tow Hotspur out of the water, scrape his hull, and give him a fresh coat of varnish?

  144. 57 sounds better than 97

  145. watching a documentary on Chosin. my god.

  146. Well, I’m Amish now. No cable. Just YouTube videos until we get the new Roku.

  147. Chosin Frozen. Never forget. Praying for DJT. 3 generations of mi familia in the DMZ. They missed out on the actual BS from China.

  148. Greetings, people who know this weekend is about more than mattress sales.

  149. Sean is a NASCAR fan?

  150. Heh.

    No.

  151. I have clocks to pack tomorrow. Did you hear that, Mare?

    Clock!

  152. How actively is John McCain celebrating Memorial Day right now?

    Round to the nearest plane crash.

  153. Oh man. I feel terrible about that comment.

    Unrelated, Megan McCain should wear a tight dress to the funeral.

  154. Is your kid throwing peas yet?

  155. He actually likes peas. Can’t throw for shit though.

    And he drinks far too much for a man his age. It’s embarrassing.

    He’s always glassy eyed and drooling.

  156. He needs a little tire to flip.

  157. He actually likes peas. Can’t throw for shit though.
    And he drinks far too much for a man his age. It’s embarrassing.
    He’s always glassy eyed and drooling

    Oh my. It seems that MJ knows me better than God does.

  158. What size weight vest did you buy him?

  159. https://is.gd/FszKov

  160. Just because he spanks you doesn’t make him your daddy, Chi.

  161. https://is.gd/zL7O0n

  162. CARin, this would look great on your deck!

    https://is.gd/lAJ0IP

    ****

    Someone locally makes those without the wine part

  163. Heh. You know a movie (“Reptilicus”) is gonna be bad when the narrator assures you that the action begins “High above the Arctic Circle,” but the shot is of a sun-dappled hillside with many trees and an utter lack of snow. The cold is indicated by a whistling wind sound effect.

  164. I just tried to have a heartfelt, earnest conversation with my dog.
    “either you have a coffee cup full of expensive dogfood every morning, or two y eat out of the trashcan. It can’t hurt both.”
    He did not respond, excdpept to lift his leg and locks the scar where his balls used to be.

  165. The rain sounds so cool when it hits the derp roof
    And the horses wonder who you are
    Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees
    You feel like a movie star

  166. Good morning all. And thanks for serving, vets. Happy Memorial Day.

  167. And good morning back to you ma’am.
    After breakfast & coffee, I have a handful of flags to go plant at the Cemetary across the street then maybe go fishing for a few minutes before the rain sets in.
    AccuWeather says it starts today was the no end in sight all week.
    (At least it’ll knock the pollen count down!)

  168. Mow lawn
    Check work inbox
    Watch Memorial Day parade downtown
    Cigar
    Grill

    I might work a nap in there if circumstances allow it

  169. I gotta go to work tonight. Best get to my gardening, then, while I have time.

  170. If you ship a clock, does that make you a clock-packer?

  171. More importantly if I steal that box off of the recipient’s porch, does that make me a time bandit?

  172. Jay’s virus is spreading.

    *sprays blog with Lysol*

  173. Excellent article Mare

  174. Laura killed it with the Lysol.

    (I’m texting my buddy and try to guilt him into going fishing. He wants to be lazy with the wife all day, but I have beer, bourbon & a lake)

  175. No work and friends are sick. I’ll probably do a quick workout this morning, then painting/sketching, violin practice, make lunch, read, and throw a pork shoulder into the crockpot for dinner tonight. A long run tonight followed by a cigar and whiskey.

  176. I completely forgot it was Monday.

  177. Muscular Motivational Memorial Day?

  178. I don’t have a Memorial Day poat, but there are a couple of meme poats in draft if you are otherwise occupied, Mr. Motivation.

  179. I am indisposed. Bye week.

  180. https://tinyurl.com/y9z7klbd


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