First, let’s start with a joke:
Follow me below the fold for your regularly scheduled pogrom…
Welcome groovy bishes. Its Big Boob Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11vty!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck the music and let’s get to the man magnets. Today’s model is from Danishland and is around 20. I dunno anything more; I didn’t really get past searching for pictures. She likes posing, showing off her boobies, and conservative stuff. I think. Anyhoo, get ready for the hottest piece of ass to grace this post since Hillary McCheeselegs confused her heart pills with red hots….Nikita Kl(aethingy)strup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi MJ. I miss you.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and vote this as the best BBF of all time. My thesis has three parts. First, we know that she is a conservative. While she probably stands up to those big bad lefties in Daneland by demanding trannies get their own bathroom or something, I’m sure she’d be your average Biden voter here in the U Essss of A. But whatevs. Second and third are pretty self explanatory.
Have a great weekend, hostages. And prepare for April 4, 2015: Wiser and MJ Candy Bar Radio Hour.
235 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
Bleh. I doubt that she’s actually conservative. More likely crack-pot libertarian.
The ship may have sailed, but “cover” means that the faux-conservative REpublicans get to keep their job.
That’s what the cover means.
That’s the motivating force for our “leadership” – keeping their job. Voting how their belt-way insiders and donors tell them to vote.
Bleh. I doubt that she’s actually conservative. More likely crack-pot libertarian.
—————————
Clearly you didn’t read the post. And….
THIS BAG OF MONEY IS SOOOO HEAVY.
This chick reminds me of my 20 year old niece Lily. I hope I never find her on this shithole blog.
How big are her tits?
Is today the day I stop listening to Beck?
No.
Today is my daddy’s 83rd birthday. I think he would like today’s model, but there is no way in Hell that I am ever going to direct him to this here blog….
Hostage material he is not.
Is today the day I stop listening to Beck?
No.
While I was making dinner last night I asked Ethan to turn on some music for me.
Erin pipped in “SHE JUST WANTS TO LISTEN TO BECK.”
Who the heck is Beck?
Ethan sounds cool. Not sure about Erin.
Hotspur, we try to keep you hip, but some days the burden is too much to bear.
I should listen to some music today. It’s been at least a week.
We should harass lobby Gutfeld and Levy to invite Nikita to appear on The Five
So, Lenten dinner options I’m considering:
Salmon loaf with hot sauce
Garlic and red pepper low-carb pizza
Is Red Eye still on?
Good work Muppet.
Candy Bar Radio Show hopefully does not involve a Frozen Snickers.
I miss those. Stupid dental work.
It’s the 21st gol-darn cennury, where’s my cyber-teeth?
Meh. She’s alright. If you like non-Japanese not-porn actresses.
Redeye is still on, but Gutfeld is leaving. I haven’t watched in a while, so I’m not sure what’s going on.
What’s Red Eye sans Greg? Is he just all Five all the time now?
Nice bewbs, MJ; very nice.
Thanks for your opnion, Surge.
Hi Sarge.
Hello, Kitten.
http://goo.gl/qcZ3hn
Ah gotta go to the Old Folks home. BBL
Happy fried day.
Leggo My Eggo!
Looks like RedEye is Joann Nosuchinsky and Andy Levy now.
Curious if this holds for natural emulsifiers like you find in egg yolks:
http://www.zmescience.com/medicine/nutrition-medicine/emulsifiers-fat-processed-food-0302015/
Going to have to start making my own mustard like Laura does.
mustard is really easy, and really good. Just do it!
Carin is such an ageist.
I read that earlier too, Leon.
What are the most common foods and additives that cause inflammation?
*goes to lunch*
For lenten dinner I’m going to have a greek salad with avacado.
Hotspur, we try to keep you hip
At his age, we just don’t want him to break a hip.
I don’t eat enough mustard enough for it to me a thing. I rarely eat it. I used to use it in salad dressing, but I haven’t even done that in ages.
Did anyone else’s computer refuse to talk to the computer responsible for remitting timely reimbursement checks from their health care account(s) today?
(He never calls, he never writes, he never sends shiny new software updates for Valentine’s Day….)
Finding spicy brown mustard with no emulsifiers was surprisingly easy.
Grrr. Don’t get me started on healthcare bs.
I’m ready to choke a bitch.
And by bitch … you know who I mean.
I had insurance when Bush was president.
Mine sucks now and it costs as much for just me as it used to for both me and the wife.
I literally never use it. I only have it because it’s cheaper than being on hers. That changes in July.
Take mustard seed. Grind it up a lot or a little, whatever. Add spices, but nobody cares. Soak over night in like some vinegar & stuff. Like beer maybe. Use on top of food, or your favorite chew toy.
Hey, no polysorbate-80? But I like the taste!
Better look out, Dude. There might be an audit in your future.
Next time. Looks like mustard seeds are dirt cheap.
Check the hippie stores, leon. They usually have bulk spices cheap. Get yellow and brown seeds, and mix them.
Yay for computer problems. Hopefully chkdsk is fixing mine. (Wow, that was some evil laughter.)
I looked on Amazon, Jay. For the price of 3 bottles I can get 2# seeds.
jkdfrag, roamy. Love that program.
jk defrag, now known as mydefrag
Speaking of health insurance bs, Rocketboy and Mr. RFH went to the eye doctor, same day back in January. Mr. RFH’s claim sailed through, Rocketboy’s was rejected. I *think* the problem is that when I enrolled, they did not include the kids, or at least the kids were not listed on the policy. “Were” being the operative word, because after I called Blue Cross about it, now when I try to log on to my account, it says I am no longer a member.
STARK!
Jay, it is stuck on mup.sys when I start in Safe Mode. I can’t even get to a prompt.
Better look out, Dude. There might be an audit in your future.
The rat-faced ValJar’s appearance on Bloomberg proves to me that the White House is behind the release of this story. She went on-air to look directly into the camera and give Hillary an extremely subtle but obvious message: “Don’t fuck with us, bitch. We will fucking destroy you.”
I cannot wait for some stupid Republican open his or her stupid suck-hole and take the spotlight off of Hillary.
I cannot wait for some stupid Republican open his or her stupid suck-hole and take the spotlight off of Hillary.
you better be knocking on wood and such, cuz this will probably come true!
We are probably due for a new race riot. Keep watching the police reports.
I agree with Wiser, not Wiserbud.
I think the Obama people are looking to sink Cheeselegs.
Race riots start when the county fairs start.
Oh, wait, you meant white people attacking blacks. Yeah, might be a while.
You won’t hear about the former, you won’t be able to avoid hearing about the latter.
I think the Obama people are looking to sink Cheeselegs.
on the other hand, kind of risky for ValJar to say that she never received an e-mail from the Hildebeast. All it takes to show her to be a liar is one single e-mail from the Hill’s private stash.
Either way, it’s still really fun watching the usual suspects beclown themselves defending her Thighness
They’re going to tear each other apart.
Bush stepped aside and let the Rs fight it out. Obama is going to defend himself cuz shoulder chip.
I thought that kind of odd as well. And she sounded like she was lying. I guess you can tell she’s lying when her lips are moving, so not unusual.
It’s like Aliens vs Predator. I hope we’re smart and stay out of it.
If Bill Clinton was offered a chance to pork Jarrett, would he?
He probably already did. Isn’t that admittance to the democrat party?
Probably.
If Hillary Clinton was offered a chance to pork Jarrett, would she?
I thought that kind of odd as well. And she sounded like she was lying.
Maybe ValJar is daring Hill to fight back. “Bring it on, bitch. You want to play?? I can and will destroy you. With great pleasure.”
If Bill Clinton was offered a chance to pork Jarrett, would he?
If Hillary Clinton was offered a chance to pork Jarrett, would she?
I love this place.
They have to know that if Clinton is elected she will blame a lot of her early problems on the mess she inherited from Chocolate Jesus. Hell, she might do it for all eight years.
If Bill Clinton had to pork Jarrett and Hillary, which one would he do first?
Which one would you do first?
Well, She’d be right. Any dem that wins in ’16 will do the same thing. They have to know this.
0bama’s best case scenario is Jeb.
Which one would you do first?
either left, or right.
The 22nd Amendment is racist. Repeal that motherfucker.
You people make me sick.
Now now, MJ. If you are going to be around grownups, you’ll have to deal with some uncomfortable topics.
I’ll just leave this here for everyone:
http://is.gd/u6XtMT
Uncomfortable
Valerie has a penis, or at least a proboscis. I think Bill might actually say no.
on the other hand, kind of risky for ValJar to say that she never received an e-mail from the Hildebeast. All it takes to show her to be a liar is one single e-mail from the Hill’s private stash.
I’m predicting that they’ll start to leak stories to the press about how the WH has “concerns” about Hillary’s health and excessive drinking early on, and so they cut her out of the major decisions and instead pushed her over to PR duties while they worked with her subordinates at the State department as well as others outside the department.
I’ll just leave this here for everyone:
hahahahahaha….
Inorite?
Rite.
Smartest White House evah.
Gawd. I just want to curl up in a ball and lay under my desk for the rest of the day.
Happiest man today: Joe Biden.
Clean diaper, smooth forehead, and Cheeselegs getting beat with dead fish.
Clean diaper, smooth forehead, and Cheeselegs getting beat with dead fish.
“HEY, DR. JILL!!! I’M GONNA BE PREZNINT!! WHEEEEEE!!!!” – JoeyB
How many lives did Dr. Jill save today?
How many lives did Dr. Jill save today?
all of them.
Since she’s out of the office, millions!
Which one would you do first?
That’s why I always keep one round in my pocket.
From the other day
“Who’s Eric Stratton?”
-somebody
WTF?!
We may have to have movie night up in here.
<“Who’s Eric Stratton?”
-somebody
yeah, that one sort of threw me……
He’s the fat kid on South Park.
I thought he was the Topher Grace charater on That 70’s Show.
I thought he was one of Cyn’s kids.
I was gonna guess one of PJM’s, but it doesn’t begin with G.
Here’s a breakdown (SWIDT) of the plane that Indiana “Han Solo” Jones pounded into a golf course in Santa Monica today, thankfully avoiding many more casualties.
By all accounts Han did a great job, for a smuggler when his engine cut out on approach.
I like Han because he’s a carpenter first and a deep deep drinker. Also all the kick ass movies he’s made.
http://tinyurl.com/q65gpbt
I have no idea why mustard would even need emulsifiers. That stuff whips up all thick all by itself, and if it separates it will be like, a few drops of vinegar at the top, that’s it.
Why we can’t have Peej on this goll Darned blog.
WTFF!?!!
sumbudy make a call.
sick of it.
I like Han because he’s a carpenter first and a deep deep drinker. Also all the kick ass movies he’s made.
yeah, too bad he’s a flaming lib, even though he tries to deny it. Other than that, he seems like a decent,down to Earth guy.
I thought he was one of Cyn’s kids.
*snickers.jpg*
Brian Williams was with Harrison Ford when they were shot down.
Peej claims that this shithole dump is blocked where she works. I think it’s because of Wiser and Wiserbud, but mostly Wiser.
Haha, good one, scott.
Whatever. You may stray but you always come back.
I just felt a great disturbance in the force. Like every aeronautical museum in San diego cried out and was visited at once.
I think HeXbrat just got to town. I have to go rinse off my liver.
Oh, I think you guys will take care of that later.
Have fun!
That reminds me. When I went to San Diego before TITS, I had lunch with PJ.
There’s a pic that I took of her in POL.
I think it’s because of Wiser and Wiserbud, but mostly Wiser.
I just can’t believe I haven;’t been able to run off more of you reprobates.
You see an HR manager. If you were worth your salt you’d have us replaced by S. American drunks and reprobates and hawt chix.
You’re slacking.
I wanna have fun with the great lakes contingent. Jay, how far are you all from Lincoln NE? I go there occasionally.
Well, let’s see. You ran off:
– MCPO
– Brewfan
– Rosetta
– Uniball
– Tattooed Intellectual
– Mrs. Peel
– Sohos
– Skylia
– Composmentis
– Gland
Who’d I miss?
Lincoln? About 3.5 hours
Ain’t seen Lippy around lately. And Jewstin’s keeping a low profile.
Annie
Forged Rite
Dick
This Buddy of Mine
Geoff
That guy with the german name
Cuffy
Sohos
Pupster
Hahahahaha
Dick
You said Dick. I don’t like klowns
TBoM was a trisexual.
Gland wasn’t telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
What about Herr Organ Holder? He was a card.
No, I was laughing because the circumstances of Wiser running Dick off were funny as hell. It got a little tense.
Wiser jacked Dick off the blog whaaa?
SAY WHAT AGAIN!
Wiser wielded great powah!
Wiser vs. Dick was scary and funny.
Two dicks enter one dick leaves.
Top Secret K9
Nice Deb
Mesa Blue
WP
Sobek
Geezer
Wiser jacked Dick off the blog whaaa?
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAHAAAHAHAAAHAHHAAHahahahahahahehehehehehehehehe.
Hurray us!!1
Who’d I miss?
wow. I did not realize that all my talk of diets, exercise, gardening, recipes and weather were having such a deleterious effect on the longevity of this blog’s attendees.
I shall endeavor to improve from here forward.
I say we ban wiser. But not wiserbud.
No, I was laughing because the circumstances of Wiser running Dick off were funny as hell. It got a little tense.
What was really funny was how it led to so many other defections.
Little did I realize that I was forcing people to make a choice.
I say we ban wiser. But not wiserbud.
I could be convinced to join you in this effort.
Loving my drive to school these days!
http://is.gd/iRa3Qa
Almost time to get to work for the weekend. Sigh. Miss you shmoopies.
If you were worth your salt you’d have us replaced by S. American drunks and reprobates and hawt chix.
Would be a fuckload less expensive.
Miss you shmoopies.
Miss you too, cuddles
Wiser just ran off lauraw. When will it end?
I liked the old “Big Blog” but this is good too. You all are a fair bunch. I sure don’t miss reading comments for two hours just to catch up. Ya never know. The “Brand” might catch fire again. in fact it’s bound to happen.
Stay sharp.
Sharp as the point on wiser’s head.
Wiser just ran off lauraw. When will it end?
The weak shall be eliminated.
Sharp as the point on wiser’s head.
*recalibrates weaponry and adjusts sites towards Iowa
The night is young and the rose garden is already littered with the bodies of my victims……
I’ll just sign up with a Joy Behar avatar.
Choose wisely.
I’ll just sign up with a Joy Behar avatar.
Hmmmm… You have impressed me with your skillful verbal jousting, good man.
You may remain…..
Jay, do you dislike Nebraskan’s? My contact in Lincoln (who is fine w Iowaners, by the by) told me that you may take exception to Huskers.
You all are a mystery to me in you beautiful complexities.
My dad is from Omaha, and a loyal Husker (except for ISU basketball). I’m won’t be committing jihad against the Cornhusker State anytime soon.
Some do have issues though.
chumpo has Husker people. Who knew?
Yeah. he’s my main man in screenplay writing. I taught him how to make film in L.A. and he keeps it reel (heh) in Linc.
I’ve been there a few times and dig it. In fact I’d like to start a small studio there if I can ever get this damn monkey offa my back in Dago.
Hehe, Frank Caliendo as Charles Barkley: A Few Good Men
hysterical
Chumplush, what do you actually do for a living?
Why am I not standing next to Mila Kunis? Why am I not making out with her?
I thought we were friends.
I axed you why you don’t like to come and hang?
Richard Sherman 30 for 30 Mockumentary by Frank Caliendo
ESPN The Magazine: Ron Burgundy interviews Peyton Manning
I’ll meet you at the ghetto bar next time you go. Then we make plans.
Won’t you feel inadequate, only coming up to Mila’s waist, MJ?
Caliendo is a gut buster. I gotta go lay down. I’m going out with a friend of mine tonight that I’ve known since I was 4 yr old. I’ll probably have three dinners this night and two breakfasts.
Aye yie yie.
Another disturbing question re:Hillary’s unsecured e-mail server:
Remember how we thought it was kind of strange when the Seal team that took out bin Laden were later killed in a missile attack on their helicopter?
I wonder where the attackers might have gotten info on them?
Won’t you feel inadequate, only coming up to Mila’s waist, MJ?
————————–
Sounds cool to me.
Tonight could be the last night that I need a block heater.
Where is Pepe? He needs this
http://is.gd/1B8RUS
Is it sexist to ask to see Cheeseleg’s emails yet?
Wake me up when that’s the story.
San Diego current weather is sunny and 72 with a chance of Guinness and Jameson very shortly.
How far are you from Irvine, CA, xbar?
Oh hey; I can be in San Diego in 5.5 hours.
*throws on driving head scarf, tosses toothbrush in pocketbook, jumps in a saucy red convertible*
Greetings, mean people who are demanding to see a kindly old grandmother’s emails.
I’m a couple hours south of Irvine, MJ. Though lived there for years. And my sister still lives there.
Cyn, I’m here till Sunday, c’mon over.
Mmmmmmm…convertible sauce.
Dang… that’s temping. I don’t think that I’ve ever just picked-up-and-gone somewhere before.
I really hate being a Responsible Adult™ sometimes.
Too bad. There’s grey whales playing off Point Loma.
Of course, you’d have to share the only bed in the hotel room with me and a soon to be dead hooker.
The dead hooker is also a “grey whale.”
She could be used as a bed divider.
For the second week in a row, Hill is calling in his biz news….
Hrmmmmmmmm…….
I really hate being a Responsible Adult™ sometimes.
I never signed anything agreeing to adulthood!
*looks at mortgage*
fuck…
*fist bumps Alex*
I think I need one of these lenses.
https://gfycat.com/OblongFavoriteGiraffe#
*fist bumps Cyn*
I’m watching Vikings at the moment. If a Roman bath comes with Katheryn Winnick and Jennie Jaques, I need to install one.
I’ll probably be in Irvine in April.
If you and Sean are that close, we should try to meatface.
I’m listening to Trentmoller on vinyl.
It’s better than I remember.
A buddy had a lens like that. He’s now not allowed within 1 mile of any school.
I bet they have shitty fishsticks in Irvine.
That might be true, but I bet they have delicious candy bars.
Stuff you’ve never heard of.
Hey, MJ, I’m wearing a pair of these RIGHT NOW.
http://is.gd/hav48I
Good job.
No, I heard they have these bars that look like a BabyRuth but with corn embedded in them. Let us know if they’re as good as Xbrad says.
Sean has his feet in MJ? Gross.
Remember how we thought it was kind of strange when the Seal team that took out bin Laden were later killed in a missile attack on their helicopter?
Didn’t Biden let it slip on teevee?
So, what Petraeus did…was it that bad? If it was only a misdemeanor and he got 2 years probation and $40k in fines, it couldn’t have been that bad, right? Or was it the deal he took to stay out of prison in exchange to keep his mouth shut about the night the ambassador got killed?
Hey, MJ, I’m wearing a pair of these RIGHT NOW.
——————-
Those shoes seem exceptionally cool.
*orders every pair
Highs are ‘posed to be above freezing tomorrow and all of next week.
Irvine in April
Hmmm… sounds like a mini-meat could be afoot.
Leaving for Florida on Thursday. MJ, you gonna be around?
SKWEEEEEEEEEEEL.
Hmmm… sounds like a mini-meat could be afoot.
Watson! Bring me seven bullwhips!
And cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine.
Only seven? Slacker.
http://i.imgur.com/0DfqmyK.jpg
I’m making ice cream.
I think.
I think thats when the swallows cum back to Capistrano.
If anybody is coming to Irvine, you may want to bring a pair of stompy boots.
yoga
http://tinyurl.com/k32axg3
http://www.thebragcompany.com/the_bra_bag_s/1820.htm
hmm – a bag for everything
Yoga lady seems nice.
Can you put other stuff in that bag?
Yoga.
http://is.gd/6JR718
Remember when everyone was making fun of the MT Republican that wanted to ban yoga pants? There was a woman in The Club today that is the poster child for that law. I was like WTF? I didn’t realize yoga pants even came in XXXL
THEY DON’T
Yogurt is better than yoga.
Black yoga pants are slimming.
PSA: Please wear underpants with your yoga pants.
Elefuns in black yoga pants are still elefuns
Underpants make lines.
Eww.
Hoppers bounce right off yoga pants.
So far no Hoppers. SOON!
Cyn, I’d prefer lines to that which cannot be unseen. I need to tell Sohos! LOL
I don’t remember Dick???
MOM! C ARIN IS HAVING DEMENTIA!!!!
I de-lurked after Dick. He was kind of a dick.
Mr. Car In is going to be very disappointed.
You don’t remember Dick?
He was a mason, and wanted to kill everything.
Many of leon’s models have fairly fresh memories of Dick.
FFS. My cousin just invited me to a fund raiser for his DA ambitions. Dan: Not one single dime. You may have said you won’t work against him, but I didn’t.
Maybe he wanted to kill everything BECAUSE he was a mason.
I don’t even know what that means.
Oso, if you and Dan ever divorce we’re keeping Dan.
CoAlex, that is what mi familia says as well.
Did anybody realize that trying to simply ignore anybody else’s heavy emphasis on their dating profile that they were looking for someone with a shared love of Mr. Belvedere had been a big mistake today?
Dick had a problem with Ace being a squish. Dicks spouse has been commenting at Aces’ for ever, and Dick is checking-in now and then, too.
I’m Twitter-famous, yo:
Dick had a problem with Ace being a squish. Dicks spouse has been commenting at Aces’ for ever, and Dick is checking-in now and then, too.
Who’s Dick’s spouse?
I don’t know her HQ name. I just know that she was the best ever and if you made fun of her, Dick would be a dick.
Dan is going on a rant about fat families. He is so funneh when he’s on a tear. He was on a rant about tail-gating, weaving assholes that make you say “Wreck and die” and when they do, their family members set up a descanso. BTW Dan H8s descansos
Descansos are a good place to score free candles and stuffed animals.
Cheap ass stuffed animals. Nothing Beasn and I would bother scoring.
Dan is laughing his ass off at Sean’s comment.
You forget somebody’s birthday, you don’t have any cash or time to stop at a gas station for a slightly less thoughtless gift…beggars can’t be choosers.
LOLOLOL St Jude is the best candle to steal.
Damn, I’m a cheap ass, and I’d never steal a stuffed critter from a descano.
Never, as my father used to tell my brother and I when we were kids, is a very long time.
Google calender somehow forgot your birthday!
That sounds like the beginnings of a B-horror movie.
Desperate one dark night, Billy Jones steals a stuffed bear from a roadside memorial. But the ghost of the pregnant, latina, single-mother killed that night will not stand for the desecration of her memorial…
I’m pretty sure that’s where chupacabras come from.
We should get Chumpo to make this movie.
No, I can’t forget this evening
Or your derp as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows
New poat.