Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.



Your model for today was born May 2nd, 2000 in Seattle, Washington.  She stands 5′ 11″ and measures 32E2436 and 145 lbsPlease check ID on Miss Mia Melano.












  1. Melanotastic

  2. Tall




  3. wakey wakey

  4. “Enjoy your diarrhea”

    Favorite line from the Red Fang video

  5. This one’s trouble, I can tell.

  6. that really is the greatest music video ever. And the song is kick ass.

  7. Is she ugly? Is she fat? I have no idea.

    7/10 would smash

  8. She appears to be worth the climb.

  9. “By appointing the antigun Merrick Garland as attorney general and nominating David Chipman—formerly a senior staffer at the leading gun-control lobby—to head ATF, Biden has made clear his sights are set on restricting the rights of law-abiding gun owners while ignoring criminals and foregoing substantive measures that will actually keep Americans safe,” NRA spokeswoman Amy Hunter said.
    From a WSJ article about Jobama’s gun control orders.

    Biden appointing the head of a gun control organization to the ATF is like ______ (fill in the blank)

  10. Ms melano is quite the cookie.

  11. 7/10??

    Dude, if you rate her a 7, you’d smash Ruth Bader Ginsburg – right now.

  12. Prince Philip passed away. (I know, we fought a war in 1776 so we don’t have to care.) There’s some good lines here.

  13. Then I watched a little of her porn-splanation video.

    No wannee.

    I’ve lived STD free for 72 years.

  14. Can’t decide if I like the black bra set or the skin-tone one with flowers better, can at least appreciate that this BBF doesn’t distort gravity.

  15. I was wondering if she had a career in the adult performing arts.

  16. aww, roamy’s link is freewalled? was hoping for some funneh

  17. also, this BBF doesn’t create their own gravity either. I say this as a FPOS myself

  18. Haha! I just watched the last video and, let’s just say, she knows her way around the sausage

  19. so Car in thinks the video is the cat’s meow? must be CFIAC

  20. Y 2 plates for a frakkin hot dog?

  21. who is the clerk at the convenience store in the video? he looks familiar.

  22. the guy who gets the check looks like Jack Dorsey.

  23. heh, at least we know where all the PBR at car in’s restaurant went.

    reminded me of shotgun beer lessons in the parking lot of the STLMU.

  24. He’s Burt on Big Bang Theory.

  25. In case you were wondering what Ames People do for fun!

    TOMORROW: Get outside, do some good! We’ll be Stashing the Trash at Brookside Park Saturday, April 10, from 9:00 to Noon. Come for a while or stay for the whole time!
    We will meet in the Brookside Parking Lot behind the ball fields (over by the woods) and we will fan out from that location. Bring your own work gloves and masks. We will have latex gloves and garbage sacks. Masks required, as well as social distancing. A great activity for kids!

  26. You had me at 5’11”.

  27. Bert.

  28. that’s it, thanks scott!

  29. I bet she would shoot an alligator and put it over her neck.

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  30. Good looking girl. But if she’s 5’11”, with those curves, no way is she 145.

    2 days left in captivity. Then a few more days in slightly less restrictive captivity. Then a plane ride, and another week in captivity in a new and exciting jail.

    Ffs, you would think we all had smallpox or some other kind of twitching awfuls, instead of being completely healthy and vaccinated after a couple months of training and living together.

  31. oh, it’s WORSE than smallpox!

  32. I do have a subscription to the Telegraph, sorry about that.

    My favorites:
    “I declare this thing open, whatever it is.” (on a visit to Canada in 1969).

    “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting).

    “Yak, yak, yak; come on get a move on.” (shouted from the deck of Britannia in Belize in 1994 to the Queen who was chatting to her hosts on the quayside).

    “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” (to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland, during a 1995 walkabout).

    “You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.” (to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary, in 1993).

    “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” (to a wealthy islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994).

    “I hope he breaks his bloody neck.” (when a photographer covering a royal visit to India fell out of a tree).

    “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she’s not interested.” (on the Princess Royal).

    “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” (on marriage).

    “Where did you get that hat?” (supposedly to the Queen at her Coronation).

  33. do microwaves lose power over time? last few days my morning egg has taken an extra 30 seconds to get done. microwave is getting older, but I thought they just broke. Didn’t get weaker and weaker

  34. You’ve got the worst disease there is to have from a commie perspective. You’ve got Liberty-Itus. It must be stamped out in the name of equity.

  35. Maybe you’re just having a run of stubborn eggs.

  36. hmm, seems like microwaves do lose power, as the magnetron tube ages.

  37. Is it plugged in?

  38. I got a nice looking corned beef, point, the other day and will cook it on Sunday. Stovetop or oven? Method suggestions please.

  39. Microwave.

  40. Prince Philip was pretty firmly in the “Earth is dangerously overpopulated” camp, as well as a lot of the enviro-commie movement. He arranged for mass vasectomies and tubal ligations in countries with “high” birth rates.

  41. why not smoked? after doing mine stovetop, sous vide, and smoked, I like the sous vide/smoking the best. But it will be for sunday, so not enough time for sous vide, so smoking only. stovetop doesn’t add flavor. It’s ok, but not if you have a smoker available.

  42. Pyrex baking dish, cover with foil, braise at 300-325F.

  43. *still has 2 sous vide packages of corned beef to smoke, mmmm

  44. leon is correct between the 2 choices, oven would be better, less maintenance. will be the same result.

  45. How long do you soak for desalinating it? I don’t like it when it’s too salty.

  46. Isn’t it a long-ass smoke, like regular brisket? It’s just a small piece of meat. But one of these days I have to do a larger amount and smoke them all up because pastrami reubens omg.

  47. What’s the time/ temp parameters for sous vide? You put any spices in there?

  48. I generally don’t soak mine, I just cover and cook with root vegetables and just pepper for seasoning. The salt migrates out to the vegetables.

  49. My husband still opens any and all doors for me.

  50. i soak mine overnight, works great. The point won’t take as long to smoke as the flat, so there’s that. But it will take a while, just like the oven will.

    When I sous vide, I go 135 for 72 hours. You could raise the temp, and go less time, like 150 for 24, but that takes out a lot of moisture.

    The only thing that will penetrate meat is salt, and nitrate salt (and your mom). Everything else is a surface treatment. No spice in the bag, put it on as rub, with mustard as a binder (mayo would work, less flavor too, egg whites also).

  51. point could take 48 hours at 135, but it depends on the cut. cheaper = longer time to break down. They all break down eventually.

  52. I think Prince Phillip was a creep, like most of the royals. Queen Elizabeth is the only one I respect. She always put country first and cared about decorum.

    I’ve never heard her prattle on about climate or population like her idiot son.

    Just my opinion. Much like assholes…

  53. Thanks, guys. Probably go with soaking + the Leon method. Jay, I saved your suggestions for when I do a big pastrami cookoff. I was kind of shocked how expensive this little piece was, so for that I will probably have to corn my own brisket so it isn’t ridiculous.

    Which…is on sale right now at the restaurant supply place…hmmm

  54. But basically you soak overnight, sous vide, then smoke? If it’s already soft how long do you smoke it? Just to get a little bark on it?

  55. *throws Pupster a snausage*

    Good boy.

    Also, have your featured Amanda McCants yet?

  56. Comment by mare on April 9, 2021 9:55 am
    My husband still opens any and all doors for me.

    The back door?

  57. It appears the narrative has been discovered. After casting about for reasons to keep masking, social distancing, and social control in place the powers to be have found a winner: infection after vaccination.

    The vaccine is only 95% effective (we think) so therefore all safety protocols will remain in place.

  58. This morning I saw an add for Warnock’s reelection. The theme was his votes to keep GA safe and to prepare for the next pandemic.

    They’re already talking about the next one.

  59. Carin, I just thought of this type of gun

    No real advantage over a slightly larger gun with more capacity but they’re out there.

    “Back up to the back up gun”

  60. The back door?


    Ewwww, you’re gross.

  61. Meanwhile, India is back to normal.

    America, having commandeered a proud Indian Vessel:
    “Look at me, I’m the shithole now.”

  62. My husband still opens any and all doors for me.

    Just to spray down the opening with Pam.

  63. Ewwww, you’re gross.

    Hey, all I’m saying is that he’s qualified to run for Alabama Secretary of State.

  64. when smoking after sous vide, it’s just to get bark and warm it up, it’s cooked. Doesn’t take long, couple hours at a low temp. Start cold, and you get better smoke flavor. So I always shock it cold, and refrigerate. Best thing about it is that after sous vide, it’s pasteurized, so it keeps in the fridge/freezer forever.

  65. homemade corned beef > stored cured. That was consensus at Easter. and it’s usually cheaper, unless they are unloading the store bought stuff, which is still pretty good if you soak it in water overnight to take away some salt, which is what you are doing.

  66. Saved that advice to the file too, J’Ames, thank you. That’s gonna be a Spring project for me some day soon.

  67. *rubs hands together*

    Love the idea of having the best pastrami in the world on hand in the freezer. I bet it makes great hash, too.

  68. I buy chicken breasts on sale, and sous vide them all. they can stay in the fridge for a month or more in the package, no spoilage. it’s amazing. Beef stays even longer. Had a steak that got “lost” in the fridge for about 6 months (don’t ask, sometimes I can be a slob). I cooked it, and it was fine. Wouldn’t recommend it, but in this case it was fine.

  69. andy was so right, home cured corned beef is well worth it.

    Hint: cure it in big ziplock bags. Uses less cure to cover the meat, and it’s cleaner, just put the bags in a container, no mess or covers. just shake up the bag.

    Use Meathead’s curing calculator to get the right cure #1 ratio, as that is important.

  70. I watched like 10 mins of local news this morning. The section on GF, PBUH showed two different prosecution experts saying St F was killed by a knee to the neck, not a drug overdose.

    Both looked like they drunks. Old men that couldn’t be bothered to comb their hair or iron a shirt for court. They watched a video and then made their expert analysis.


  71. facebook group is shocked about that fact, the knee, mare. they don’t believe anything that says chauvin didn’t murder floyd. Such sheep, even with evidence in front of their face.

    That is why Chauvin will be found guilty, because the jurors have to be tainted.

  72. I also think we’re going to see something really interesting. I’m guessing the white people will want to convict and the black folks won’t.

  73. But, I do disagree about the ‘only salt penetrates the meat’ thing. From experience, salt carries strong flavors in with it. I made this corned beef recipe years ago and it turned out nearly inedible from the stupid cinnamon and cloves in the brine. Yecch. Never tried again. I’ll be looking for a simpler recipe in the near future.

  74. . I’m guessing the white people will want to convict and the black folks won’t.

    White OJ?

  75. only salt is small enough. Check out meathead’s research on it. Seems intuitive, but he tested it, and only salt penetrates.

  76. my corned beef cure was salt and cure #1 only, nothing else. Everything else was added to smoke, or to braise/boil it.

  77. whoa, 50% of health care workers in NY have refused the vaccine.

    Source: Steve Deace show

  78. Run, crossfit, walk, brunch walk.

    Now I got to clean and get read for work.

  79. whoa, 50% of health care workers in NY have refused the vaccine

    Heroes. Plus, I imagine 100% of such have already been exposed and either recovered or never got sick at this point.

  80. It’s funny how the only “adverse reactions” we’re hearing about are AstraZenica or J&J. Not Moderna, the one Bill&Melinda funded.

    How crazy is that?

  81. Interesting that all of the Hunter Biden stuff was true.

  82. If it were bullshit, there’d be no censorship of it.

    That should have been the clue that Q was bullshit.

  83. IIRC, the only “Q” stuff that ever faced censorship?


  84. I wonder if Obama’s kid fucked Hunter Biden. The rumor about the niece is basically confirmed but I always wondered about Malia.

    I think we have to go with yes.

  85. Did Malia abort Joe’s grandkid?

    I think we have to go with yes.

  86. So the rule is…

    If it’s censored it’s true. If not, false.

    Makes sense.

  87. YouTube bans any video suggesting masks are theater and you can treat WuFlu with common, cheap, safe drugs.

    The Flat Earth videos are abundant.

    There’s a lesson here.

  88. Imagine a virus so deadly…

  89. I wonder if Obama’s kid fucked Hunter Biden. The rumor about the niece is basically confirmed but I always wondered about Malia.

    I think we have to go with yes.

    I doubt it. Not enough money in it for the Obamas. I would also be willing to bet that Michelle is none to happy at the thought of her daughter fooling around with a white dude (Malia’s current boyfriend is white, but he’s also a Harvard grad and wealthy).

  90. What’s the lesson?

  91. Someone should just ask Hunter what fucking Malia was like.

    I bet he’d answer.

  92. It’s left as an exercise for the reader, MJ.

  93. Item 1—-pizzagate is real that’s why they censored it.

    Item 2—-Hunter Biden is really, really gross so I don’t think Malia would go for it but keep in mind this is a girl whose mother allowed her to intern for the show Girls when she was under the age of 18. I think she was 16.*

    *besides all the casual sex in the show, they are known for porny stuff too.

  94. I made a huge mistake. I googled sex scenes in GIRLS and it linked a SLATE article with a video. Here’s the worst part, I clicked on the video.

    Yes, the article referred to the sex scene as “bad sex,” and it was. SOOOO bad. Ewwwwww, yikes, nope, why?

    I will wear the H2 dunce cap for the remainder of the day.

    But if Malia interned for this show, there’s a good chance she’s a whore.

  95. Hunter has game and access to drugs. If he wanted to bang Malia, I’d put his odds at better than good.

  96. Oh, man, Malia’s boyfriend is a skinny jean wearing, smoking, douchy looking skinny guy. UFFFFFFFF, like her father.

  97. OK man, I appreciate Meathead’s research, but my corned beef tasted like cloves and cinnamon. Strongly. Something must have been able to carry the perfume to the center.

  98. MJ, what is the word on the street in GA GOP circles about Kemp/Raffensbergergargler/ etc.?

    Seems like the right leaning media is making them out as heroes. Still view them as dem dupes, myself.

  99. malia is the one busted with pot, wasn’t she?

  100. Malia: Daddy I don’t want to suck that thing, it’s smells like shit.
    Sacha: My butt hurts.

  101. MJ, what is the word on the street in GA GOP circles about Kemp/Raffensbergergargler/ etc.?
    Seems like the right leaning media is making them out as heroes. Still view them as dem dupes, myself.
    You probably know more than I do. The only thing I’ve read is that a primary challenge to Kemp is basically off the table.

    Abrams’ fuck up with the all star game / voting thingy has made Kemp untouchable.

    The story is that Kemp fixed the election BS but another way to read it might be that Kemp was asleep at the wheel and now he’s cleaning up his own mess.

    The former seems to be the preferred narrative at this point.

  102. My theory is that the GOP wanted Trump gone, so they looked the other way while the Dems stole the election. The belief was that there would be a blue wave which they could blame on Trump. Instead, Trump’s coattails carried the GOP to a 15 seat gain (versus the projected 15 seat loss) and probably would have kept the Senate, except that McConnell’s decision to block the stimulus was a deliberate decision to throw it to the Dems.

  103. well that’s a pretty cynical view of the GOP.

    I agree!

  104. The GOP is for republicans the same way the Teacher’s Union is for students.

  105. Using official state of CT Covid data for my age group, there were 351 deaths per 100,000 cases.

    I bet anything those are inflated.

    If those numbers are right (they aren’t) for every 1000 people my age who get Covid, 3-4 of the fattest, weakest, sickest will die.

    I bet the real numbers are half of that.

    Everything is fake.

  106. haha, found the perfect mother’s day present. She’ll love it.

  107. My theory is that the GOP wanted Trump gone, so they looked the other way while the Dems stole the election.


    Yep, the Establishment wanted Trump gone. There was no way they were going to let Trump win. Dems, Republicans, judges, media, law enforcement, big tech, all came together to get rid of him.

  108. They even bragged about “fortifying” the election in Newsweek.

  109. Currently 93F. It ain’t summer yet but it ain’t far off.

  110. ugh, it’s coming. Oh well.

    How’s your garden doing, PG?

  111. Wearing a mask at work is ugh. It is too hot. Am I working slow? Fuck yeah I’m working slow.

  112. My buddy that Ive gardened with the last few years took a job that has him out of town until the end of June. I thought about doing it all by myself and a lazy stream came down and whipped my ass. So all I got in the ground is about 70 onions. Onions are pretty low maintenance around here.

  113. Better behind than front. A wonder the girl can stand.

  114. Pendejo, my grandfather would harvest onions in West Texas. The onion fields. Once he turned 10, he would have to join his siblings picking cotton and onions. CoW back in the day, grew up working agriculture in TX. She was an anchor baby. Her parents were illegal. They would work peach orchards in CO. Apple orchards in NM. She hated onion season in TX. I will always love her, because she wanted to go all in with me against a chola at the bank flirting with Dan. 🤣🤣🤣

  115. RLF lost her hubby to a gangbanger 3 years ago. He was killed by the gangbanger at a grocery store. My POS cousin called her and told her the trial is getting backed up again due to COVID. SOROS backed cousin is a POS. Albuquerque sucks.

  116. What do you call male gunts? I’m not brave enough for Urban Dictionary. I just call them “Gunts”. We have a Native with a bigger Gunt than “Troy”. We just called guy gunts “Troy”.

  117. Tin foil tiara on. Leon, do you have insight? In the past year, 4 of my energy drink CoWs have miscarried. All 4 in their 20s. Reign, Monster, and Red Bull.

  118. Caffeine is linked to miscarriage, before pregnancy and during.

  119. Comment by formwiz on April 9, 2021 5:53 pm
    Better behind than front. A wonder the girl can stand.

    Pretty sure she spends a lot of time on her knees and/or back…….

  120. Thank you, Scott. I didn’t know. I’ll relay the message.

  121. Oso, the town I grew up in used to grow shitloads of potatoes and onions. Not any more because there’s not enough water left in the aquifer. Plus corn is too profitable now not to grow if you still have good water. The good price is due to government mandates to
    Turn about half of it into automobile fuel. My dad farmed but we never grew vegetables.

  122. 5 years ago…..

  123. Mexicans of your grandparents generation who followed the harvesting and planting seasons all over the country lived a tough, tough life. All I know is it must’ve been better than whatever opportunities were available in Mexico or they wouldn’t have come.

    One of my best friends grandparents lived that life. Mattresses and hoes tied to the top of a station wagon and seven kids in the station wagon and traveling between California Arizona and Texas chasing work. A generation later his daddy settled in West Texas and got a job with Chevron and made a very good living for his wife and four children.

    A generation later, my friend is a well respected high school football coach, his sister is married to a medical doctor, one of his brothers owns his own catering business and the other brother works for Chevron-Texaco.

    One of many family stories I know who prove to me that America works for almost everybody who will work at it.

  124. 5 Years. Wow. That was quick.

  125. Pendejo, my family was already here. Last Rio crosser was in the 1850s. My grandfathers family followed the crops. My Grammo’s Family were ranchers. We believe her brother was Spanish Pete who worked with Al Capone. He was a bootlegger in NM and TX before he moved to Chicago. My grandfather was put to work in agriculture with his siblings. He was 10. His father used the money his kids earned to buy an orchard.

  126. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]

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