Big Boob Friday

Happy Friday bitchfaces!! Buffalone, or whatever his name is, decided that he’d rather sit in the corner by himself than join us for Boobapalooza. What a dick.

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I wrote this song for Pupster before he fell off the face of the earth. Word on the street is that he picked up a pretty serious case of rabies and had to be put down. And by put down, I mean we banned him. True story.

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Today’s model is a squealtress working just outside of Hollywood, but was originally created in Nova Scotia, Canadaland. Her 20, soon to look 35 year old vag is connected to 117 pounds of other stuff. Above her paycheck slot sits an impressive 32D rack. Your’re welcome.

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Since the history test and putting any effort into BBF seems to have fallen out of fashion, let’s take a trip in the way back machine…

27 BC – Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus is granted the title Augustus by the Roman Senate, marking the beginning of the Roman Boobipire.

1547 – Ivan IV of Russia aka Ivan the Boobibble becomes Czar of Russia.

1707 – The Scottish Boobliament ratifies the Act of Union, paving the way for the creation of Great Britain.

1786 – Virginia enacted the Statute for Religious Boobdom authored by Thomas Jefferson.

1909 – Ernest Boobleton’s expedition finds the magnetic South Pole.

1945 – Adolf Hitler moves into his underboob bunker, the so-called Führerbunker.

2001 – Congolese President Laurent-Désiré Kabila is assassinated by one of his own boobyguards.

2006 – Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is sworn in as Liberia’s new Boobident. She becomes Africa’s first female elected sammich maker.

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Top to bottom: August, MJ.

192 Comments

  1. Boob morning, all.

  2. Sorry, Cyn.

  3. Nice work, MJ. August seems nice.

  4. I approve of this hooker.

  5. TITTAYS

    *rpt* I am going to order flowers for Batman’s birthday on the 24th on behalf of the Bastiges here at H2. If you would like to contribute send me an email at gooberintexas on the G-string thing.

  6. Too much content, not enough boobs.

  7. What the Fuck? Was Cat Stevens not handy?

  8. Her 20, soon to look 35 year old vag is connected to 117 pounds of other stuff.

    That’s a funny fuckin’ line. I’m stealing the shit out of that for my next cocktail and debriefing session.

  9. Phoning it in.

  10. John Kerry always proves the old cliche, when you’re in a hole, stop digging.

    He’s such a lying, fuckface, turncoat, wannabe blue blood.

  11. The only thing that kept him from a total ass beating in the Navy was having bars on his shoulders. He wouldn’t have made it through boot camp. Guaranteed.

  12. Kerry has a face that is in desperate need of a fist.

  13. Colon, too.

  14. I’m always surprised no one had a “training accident” in his vicinity. Or terribly tragic friendly fire incident.

  15. Is this real?

  16. YES!

  17. When did I wake up in a sitcom written by Jonah Goldberg?

    Seriously, if you told the studios that you wanted to do a show about a White House that was politically tone-deaf and run by incompetents and you told them that this was one of your jokes, they’d tell you it was too unbelievable.

  18. porn blog

  19. It’s tasteful though SRG

  20. There is just something…off about this whole admin. It is like they aren’t even trying. Like they want to make it so bad for whichever political enemy takes over

  21. They are living in a movie. Needs a soundtrack.

  22. It’s not so hard to believe. This is exactly what you see in the mindset of a campus radical. The delusion is impenetrable, and it’s always, always someone else’s fault that your policies are failing.

  23. She seems like you could take her home to mother. Specifically, your mom.

  24. Either Andrea Mitchell is trolling us, or they are now also serving psilocybin mushrooms at the Department of State.

  25. Should have sent these guys:

    http://tinyurl.com/o6g64we

  26. Ermagerd, the Mr. Teresa Heinz story is on the WaPo.
    I will say one thing: it appears Mr. Teresa Heinz is a better comedy writer than anyone on Saturday Night Live.

    What next, watermelon and fried chicken at a White House dinner?

  27. And still, comedians just can’t find anything to mock about this administration.

  28. Not funny.

  29. Hippie Diplomacy

  30. I H8 what TFG has done to our country.

  31. I can’t even…

  32. ba haa haaa …

    “If this doesn’t work, they can get John Cusak to stand outside the embassy with a boom box.”

  33. *drops mike, walks out of room

  34. France just called. It surrendered. Again.

  35. The photoshop of Jean francois with the boom box in front of the arc de triomphe was all over twitter this am.

  36. I don’t twit.

    Or rarely.

  37. It’s up at the HQ now.

  38. Via Insty:

    UPDATE: From the comments: “I think something is wrong with the blog. I keep clicking a link to go to an Onion article, and it sends me to the Washington Post instead.”

  39. John Fin Kerry is the best SoS we’ve ever had.

    I really hope he runs for president again.

  40. Even the BBC is making fun of us.

  41. Getting ready to take the kids to Palm Springs Air Museum. If I’m not back by sundown, avenge me!

  42. There is just something…off about this whole admin. It is like they aren’t even trying. Like they want to make it so bad for whichever political enemy takes over

    My personal theory is that the Obamas and their sycophants want a Republican successor. That way they can go on television for four years and complain about how they had everything fixed and the world was perfect, but those evil stupid Republicans took over and ruined it. If the Clintons get back into power, they’ll pull a Kruschev and spend the first six months denouncing the Obama administration as corrupt, foolish, naive, etc. Completely ruin any attempt at a legacy.

  43. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will be full of historical firsts, like a full regulation basketball court, and a smoking lounge.

  44. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will be the first to have 18 holes of putt-putt.

  45. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will have glory holes in the men’s room between stalls.

  46. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will have glory holes in the men’s room between stalls.

    Already in the White House. Josh Earnest lobbied for them.

  47. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will be full of TVs.

  48. The Barack Obama Presidential Library will be full of TVs.

    All tuned to ESPN.

  49. Tuned to ESPN.

  50. DAMMIT!

  51. Sent everyone on my current H2 email list information about Michael’s memorial service. If you didn’t get it, please let me know – and include your current e-mail addy so I can send it to ya!

  52. Comment by MrScience_ on January 16, 2015 10:29 am
    There is just something…off about this whole admin.

    Well, when you fill all of the important posts with an eye towards diversity justice rather than competence, that’s what happens. It’s an administration filled with lots of special little snowflakes.

    Plus, no one has any real-world experience – they’ve all been in government jobs their entire lives. There is never any consequence for a bureaucracy cock-up, so they’ve never had to learn from their mistakes.

    And Barack only wants “Yes” men around him – say anything bad about the prince’s decisions, and you are out of a job.

  53. my email is dbl dot 143 dot id at gmail dot com

  54. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is beclowning himself again in Time ragazine, playing the very dog-eared No True Scotsman card about Islam and Muslim terrorism.

    Dude, you peaked decades ago in “Airplane.” You’re even less serious now.

  55. MJ, did you get my e-mail from earlier this week?

    I was reading a thread at HA about Obama going on offense and they included the video of him shooting 2 for 20 a few years back.

    Third comment in was a link to my edit of that video.

    Kinda cool.

  56. That’s pretty sweet. No, I don’t think I saw it. I’ve been running around a lot lately.

  57. busy busy Friday

    I’ve reactivated my Paypal account for those of you interested in contributing to the flowers for Michael’s birthday. You can use my gmail address as the recipient. Have already heard from several of you, thanks.

  58. flowers for Michael’s birthday

    Screw that. Sumbitch already owes me $15.

  59. HAH

    received, and received. Any overage and I’ll give you 15 outta that

  60. I’ll give you 15 outta that

    nah, buy a nice bottle of bourbon and throw it in with him.

    Well, $15 wouldn’t actually buy a “nice” bottle, so maybe just get him a reeeeally good airplane bottle.

  61. Xbrad,

    Have one of the older kids take pics of you next to some cool planes.

    My favorite Air Museums are Wright-Patt, Davis-Monthan (ONLY if you can get the executive tour) and then Palm Springs.

    Boeing’s is good and the Air and Space in DC is awesome, but it’s little hidden nuggets at Palm Springs and Wright-Patt that I love.

    For example, the guy who showed us through the B-17 back in 2004 was a gunner in WW-II. That was awesome. He was 80 and was still climbing up the crew ladder every day, several times a day.

    Take lots of pics.

  62. I got to crawl though a B-17 a few years ago. Very cool.

    And very small

    DSC00066
  63. What’s a Boston #blacklivesmatter protestor smell like?

    Depends…

    http://tinyurl.com/qznv88k

  64. People like those Boston pukes make me have thoughts I’d rather not have. Unconstitutional thoughts.

  65. I had visions of a bulldozer pushing the barrels aside to one lane to allow traffic by.

  66. Heh Rachel Corrie. I miss Mesa.

  67. Why is it always fat white chicks that are defending other people’s rights? Why not defend their thighs against that second piece of cheesecake?

  68. Good day, jiggle enthusiasts.

  69. I said it yesterday. It’s 30F in Boston. Spray ’em down with a firehose and wait.

  70. >>>Why is it always fat white chicks that are defending other people’s rights? Why not defend their thighs against that second piece of cheesecake?

    Do you see any of those fat chicks standing? Or walking? Nope, just sitting on their fat asses and acting like they are Doing Something;&

  71. Seems….. familiar….

    https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob/status/556234739070550016?s=02

  72. Why you H8N on the cheesecake enthusiasts? Cheesecake is my fav after cheeseburgers. I feel sorry for Beasn and her lactose intolerance.

  73. “Violent extremism” means not a fucking thing. I used to say it jokingly, but now I’m starting to believe that Obama is a mooselimb sympathizer.

  74. Gonna watch some classic cinema here.

  75. Oh man, a pay phone.

  76. Excellent point Wiser.

  77. Say, will John Roberts conclude that gay marriage is a tax or a mandate?

  78. Oh, btw, I mostly survived the day with the kids.

  79. Big. Haired. Hookers.

    If you’d have told me in the 80s that I’d be nostalgic over big hair, I’d have laughed at you.

  80. Howie Mandel is nostalgic for big hair. Or any hair.

  81. True.

  82. Mostly.

  83. Probably

  84. Hi Kitten. We got you a few things to cheer ye up.

  85. I’ll pay you for my share of that later, Chumpy.

  86. OOps, sry, (Please to fix?)

    http://tinyurl.com/nhw3xxr

  87. I go double. send DiT $

  88. Is that some sort of microaggression against the follically challenged?

  89. I looked around one day at school and realized that nearly every young female I could see had either long or very long hair, worn straight and limp.

    This means that big hair will be coming around on the Wheel Of Fashion again in just a few years.

    *hoards Aquanet*

  90. Also, thank you assorted assholes, fuckwads, dipshits, and dollfaces for keeping me laughing, semi-entertained, and (relatively) sane during this waiting period. I swear I’ll deny it, but I do love you peeps.

  91. Abode lute

    Prost!

  92. That’s now my phone’s new wallpaper.

  93. Prost.

  94. Love you.

  95. Also, you kick ass, Chumpo. Scott even burst out laughing. Nice bouquet.

  96. Thanks. I arrange flowers for fun and profit.

    Ask Me How!

  97. Love you

  98. I still don’t like big hair, it’s just nostalgia. I much prefer long hair worn without weird proteins in it.

  99. Okay…how?

  100. http://is.gd/a8KFhl kinda nifty

  101. Leon is clearly insane. Big hair is Beautiful hair.

  102. I prefer pigtails and braids.

  103. http://goo.gl/nqD2WI

  104. Big hair rules.

    Until you accidentally set her on fire trying to light her cigarette.

  105. Wow, lauraw. I’d read about the rescue, but didn’t realize how lucky the guy was there was a cranky baby.

  106. Forget the hair, first I look at the purse.

    http://tinyurl.com/qafgge5

  107. Leave the hair. Take the cannoli.

  108. http://is.gd/back_atcha_nice_tiger_lady

  109. http://goo.gl/tUStZ3

  110. A car lover could not watch this movie. The auto-gore factor is high and very pricy.

  111. Okay! It was nice “interacting” with you all. Have a great weekend.

  112. THX Mcpo. I was the hippie hair chick in a world full of big hair. My friends rocked the big hair. My hair doesn’t respond to product. I could never get a proper chola bang. Even with waxing, my eyebrows are two caterpillars fighting.

  113. Bye MTC#PO. talk to ye later!

  114. Sorry, MCPO. I’m brain-free this evening.

  115. Big hair is the best hair.

    I’m trying to make sure I let peeps know your contribution to Dave’s liquor cabinet Michael’s birthday have been received but if I’m an asshole and you didn’t get an okey dokey feel free to punch me in the nuts.

  116. http://is.gd/Syl0bE

  117. I should probably mention that the climax of Nasty Hero is the eponymous entity bashing bad guys with a hand-crafted metal fist.

  118. Morons were all over the JT representing the US in France this AM. I love the Horde.

  119. Ho. Lee. Shit.

  120. Is the hand-crafted metal fist new or slightly used?

  121. Kenny G story.

    In med school and internship I lived in a triple decker apartment near WPI. During the summer all the windows stayed open for the breeze. One night I woke to the dulcet tones of Kenny G. Soon after I heard some passionate screaming and moaning. Not being certain it wasn’t a rape I grabbed a flashlight and headed out to the porch ready to dial the cops if needed. I soon realized it was coming from the triple decker next to mine. I shrugged it off and went back to bed. Then the next night came. And the next. And so on. I needed my sleep with all the early wake ups. I asked my little brother who was my roommate at the time for suggestions. After a few nights of us shining flashlights in their window, cheering them on and holding up cardboard signs with numbers on them they got the hint. I hope they’re happily married and can tell their kids that story one day.

    Kenny-fucking-G

  122. It’s made out of car parts, Sean, but they’re new cars.

    Slightly used?

  123. Kenny G?

  124. WTF?

  125. (Please don’t start a music to make love by thread)

  126. Please. TMI

  127. Dragonforce, Through the Fire and Flames.

  128. Got ya covered, Oso:

  129. Bananarama

  130. Divinyls, I touch myself. It messes with their heads.

  131. a cover for wiser
    http://tinyurl.com/lkcfch5

  132. extra squishy hugs for Chumpo and Dave tonight

  133. *nudges chumpo outta the way*

    sorry bro

  134. DiT doesn’t seem very sorry. Shenanigans.

  135. I’ll work on it

  136. It’s just how he is.

  137. and MCPO for posting “Rosalita” the other night. Good memories with that song, too bad Springsteen got stupid.

  138. Kenny G story.

    In med school and internship I lived in a triple decker apartment near WPI. During the summer all the windows stayed open for the breeze. One night I woke to the dulcet tones of Kenny G. Soon after I heard some passionate screaming and moaning. Not being certain it wasn’t a rape I grabbed a flashlight and headed out to the porch ready to dial the cops if needed. I soon realized it was coming from the triple decker next to mine. I shrugged it off and went back to bed. Then the next night came. And the next. And so on. I needed my sleep with all the early wake ups. I asked my little brother who was my roommate at the time for suggestions. After a few nights of us shining flashlights in their window, cheering them on and holding up cardboard signs with numbers on them they got the hint. I hope they’re happily married and can tell their kids that story one day.

    Kenny-fucking-G

    ——————————————————-

    Approximately fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. I’m just saying is all.

  139. Pool blogging FTW on this James Taylor Friday. Enjoyed the Nick Searcy.

  140. (Please don’t start a music to make love by thread)

    ok.

    http://is.gd/WXi7z7

  141. “I much prefer long hair worn without weird proteins in it.”

    something about leon (that’s not right)

  142. Approximately fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. I’m just saying is all.

    Not true.

    http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm

  143. No Barry White!!!

  144. What? I’m like what?

    I can do remorse. I think

  145. Empathy. DiT can work on the empathy.

  146. I don’t dance. No rhythm. Navin Johnson makes me look smooth. Brooks and Dunn Neon Moon. Just sayin

  147. Not true.

    http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm

    You and your source are obviously being paid by Big Anniversary.

  148. Kids fed and watered and only one or two beatings needed.

  149. And because I hate you all:

    http://firsttoknow.com/18-year-old-opens-dating-biological-father/

  150. Oh look, here’s my hatred for humanity. Guess I didn’t lose it after all.

  151. Joe PAs wins have been reinstated for PSU. I agree with Olbermann. Keith Fucking Olbermann.

  152. http://tinyurl.com/nbvya7n

  153. ^Music to f*ck too.^

  154. To.

    H/S

  155. Ha!

  156. You want music to fuck to? Right here…

    http://youtu.be/fX_120DMFDQ

  157. Empathy.

    Does that involve feelings? I’m not good at those.

  158. I’m a little pissed I wasn’t singled out for Roamy squishy hugs.

  159. I feel like a total fat chick. I’m all about the bass, bout the bass.

  160. So, Dave, which daughter do you love more?

    Or should I Paypal Andy a $20 to learn?

  161. Hahaha Andy has the H2 power.

  162. Did anybody tell anybody else that the information they had dug up about Project Hephaestus was actually just an elaborate red herring meant to distract them from finding out about Project Cyclops today?

  163. Sean, Inca Gold!!!

  164. G’night, guys.

  165. It’s not more per se, it’s like which one this week didn’t make a maniac outta me

  166. Keep telling yourself that…

  167. Still gotta check with Andy to see who got bleeped out.

  168. Music to flunk to

    http://tinyurl.com/l43pnwq

  169. G’night.

  170. Music to fink to

    http://youtu.be/i3sWvbFuixQ

  171. nice.

    This one too.
    http://tinyurl.com/n94rqcy

  172. Jackie is a punk
    Judy is a runt
    They both went down to Berlin, joined the Derp Capades
    And oh, I don’t know why
    Oh, I don’t know why
    Perhaps they’ll die, oh yeah

  173. Blerg…coffee.

  174. Haha! Idiots.

    http://campusreform.org/?ID=6202

  175. I actually got a nearly full night of sleep last night!! For the first time in ages. I feel amazing.
    Too bad it’s gonna be wasted at work, but I can’t bitch too much.

  176. A good night’s sleep is a rare thing. Always nice when it happens. Between our varying work schedules, puppy dog and the kids we get the ideal sleep about once every few months. Using an ipad in bed is my own damn fault though.

  177. Wakey wakey.

    LOVE Cyn’s bouquet. Chumpo know her so well.

  178. Lauraw – my daughter has BEAUTIFUL long curly hair.

    Which she likes to straighten. UGH.

  179. Yeah, part of it is the old dog’s schedule. He often needs me to get up early even on days when I would otherwise be able to sleep in and catch up on some rest.

  180. And, once straightened, it doesn’t look natural. I think people look best when their hair is as natural looking as possible.

  181. I slept in until 7:30.

  182. Girls with nice waves and curls should quit straightening just to stand out from the crowd, but most girls want to blend in, I guess.

  183. I suppose there is tension between wanting to fit in with the crowd, and wanting to be noticed. With extremes at either end.

  184. Aaaanyway. Worky-worky. Have a wonderful Saturday!

  185. I think people look best when their hair is as natural looking as possible.

    Agreed. I would also outlaw blonde hair dye were it in my power to do so. I’d be really nice about everything else, but that’s gotta go.

  186. Wavy hair is sexy. Short hair too.

  187. Gimme a few minutes, and I’ll have a new poat up.

  188. New poat!
    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2015/01/17/sleep-in-saturday-4/


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