Good morning boys and girls. I’ll confess that I went to bed last night having completely forgotten about this, but as I drifted off in to sweet dreams I was suddenly jerked awake with the thought that I had agreed to do this week’s BBF. So this BBF is thrown together at the last minute, but really isn’t that the standard with this place? You don’t get the BBF you want, but perhaps the BBF you need, and even deserve.
Today in history the following shit occurred:
3114 BC – The Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, used by several pre-Columbian Mesoamerican civilizations, notably the Mayans, begins. The calendar predicts the destruction of humanity during a battle between the “golden-coiffed god of wealth” and the “screeching soul-eating harpy” at the end of days.
2492 BC – Traditional date of the defeat of Bel by Hayk, progenitor and founder of the Armenian nation.
106 – The south-western part of Dacia (modern Romania) becomes a Roman province: Roman Dacia.
355 – Claudius Silvanus, accused of treason, proclaims himself Roman Emperor against Constantius II.
490 – Battle of Adda: The Goths under Theodoric the Great and his ally Alaric II defeat the forces of Odoacer on the Adda River, near Milan. They celebrate their victory by listening to their Cure albums and smoking clove cigarettes.
1332 – Wars of Scottish Independence: Battle of Dupplin Moor: Scots under Domhnall II, Earl of Mar are routed by Edward Balliol. Also known as a Tuesday night in Scotland.
1473 – The Battle of Otlukbeli: Mehmed the Conqueror of the Ottoman Empire decisively defeats Uzun Hassan of Aq Qoyunlu.
1675 – Franco-Dutch War: Forces of the Holy Roman Empire defeat the French in the Battle of Konzer Brücke.
1786 – Captain Francis Light establishes the British colony of Penang in Malaysia.
1804 – Francis II assumes the title of first Emperor of Austria.
1812 – Peninsular War: French troops engage British-Portuguese forces in the Battle of Majadahonda. Sean Bean distinguishes himself in the battle.
1813 – In Colombia, Juan del Corral declares the independence of Antioquia, followed immediately by the exportation of large amounts of cocaine to the US.
1898 – Spanish–American War: American troops enter the city of Mayagüez, Puerto Rico. Thirty are soon struck down by venereal disease, twenty more marry local girls to bring back to the US, and most of the rest are restricted to their barracks following an incident involving a local dancer, a donkey, and a barrel of whiskey.
1918 – World War I: The Battle of Amiens ends. No one notices, because everyone is dea.
1919 – The constitution of the Weimar Republic is adopted. Attempts to rename it the Weiner Republic were defeated in a narrow vote.
1920 – The Latvian–Soviet Peace Treaty, which relinquished Russia’s authority and pretenses to Latvia, is signed, ending the Latvian War of Independence.
1929 – Babe Ruth becomes the first baseball player to hit 500 home runs in his career with a home run at League Park in Cleveland, Ohio. This is the last time that Cleveland has anything close to a successful sporting event.
1942 – Actress Hedy Lamarr and composer George Antheil receive a patent for a Frequency-hopping spread spectrum communication system that later became the basis for modern technologies in wireless telephones and Wi-Fi. The former later was involved in a scandal to steal land from salt-of-the-earth farmers before the railroad went through.
1945 – Poles in Kraków engage in a pogrom against Jews in the city, killing one and wounding five. In other words, just another Friday afternoon.
1949 – United Nations Security Council Resolution 72 and 73 are adopted on Palestinian question. Unfortunately the question of “Why the fuck are we in any way supporting these nutjobs?” remains unanswered.
1952 – Hussein bin Talal is proclaimed King of Jordan against his wishes. He is forcibly relocated from the European hotel where he lived and banged blond models.
1959 – Sheremetyevo International Airport, the second-largest airport in Russia, opens. The airport comes complete with a storage area for your carry-on chickens.
1960 – Chad declares independence from sobriety.
1961 – The former Portuguese territories in India of Dadra and Nagar Haveli are merged to create the Union Territory Dadra and Nagar Haveli. Residents celebrate with a massive elaborately choreographed dance. 1400 are killed.
1962 – Vostok 3 launches from the Baikonur Cosmodrome and cosmonaut Andrian Nikolayev becomes the first person to relinquish Soviet claims on gravity.
1965 – Race riots (the Watts Riots) begin in the Watts area of Los Angeles, California. Democrats everywhere decide that this sounds like a great idea for urban renewal on the cheap.
1968 – The last steam hauled train runs on British Rail
1972 – Vietnam War: The last United States ground combat unit leaves South Vietnam.
1975 – East Timor: Governor Mário Lemos Pires of Portuguese Timor abandons the capital Dili, following a coup by the Timorese Democratic Union (UDT) and the outbreak of civil war between UDT and Fretilin. World continues not to care.
1984 – “We begin bombing in five minutes”: United States President Ronald Reagan, while running for re-election, jokes while preparing to make his weekly Saturday address on National Public Radio. Millions kind of wish he hadn’t been joking.
We’ll start out with a classic. This woman has graced the screen and pinup pictures, and many a young man beat his dick like it owed money to her glorious orbs. Unfortunately her “charms” are balanced out by the horror that she inflicted on the world. I talk about, of course, Law and Order: SVU, also known as “Law and Order: It’s the White Republican’s Fault”, starring her daughter, Mariska Hartigay.
Please welcome Ms. Jayne Mansfield!
Now with that finished, on to our next model!
This Ecuadorian lovely stands at 5’3″ tall and weighs in at 135 pounds. Her measurements are 42-24-34. Please welcome… Ms. Antonella Kahllo!
And with that, go forth to face the day. Or hide out and talk to your imaginary friends in the magical light-box. I don’t have a job and classes don’t start for another two weeks, so guess which option I’m going to choose.
157 Comments
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135 ibs? Sure. Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Wow, that’s a lot of content.
Good jerb, Alex.
https://is.gd/4xOBY0
Grading CoAlex:
Content = A
Model = JackAss
Well done!
Wakey wakey
butterface
So the behemoth is – guessing here – around 80 lbs right now. Not sure. He’s 7 months. I read yesterday that he doesn’t hit his full size until 2 y/o. Around 18 months he’ll be his actual size, and then he fills out.
He such a monster, but he’s such a sweetie.
I’m trying a new running shoe. They stopped making the the New Balance Minimus ones (WHY???) and I know I’m going to need a new shoe in a little bit, so figured I’d better start auditioning new ones.
Merrell pace glove. I don’t know if I’m nervous or excited.
https://is.gd/yACJ6r
Reminds me of the state farm commercial
………she. looks. hideous.
Love my Merrells, and so does everyone else I know that wears them.
I have the Ascend Gloves, been using them at kickboxing over a year, still going strong.
Grotesque.
Also, Microsoft’s “product key” system is made of utter failure and people should be ashamed to work there.
Moose has found a HUGE stick in the lake and is shocked – SHOCKED – that we won’t let him in the house with it.
Saddest thing ever – him standing at the door with the log in his mouth giving us the big eye to come in.
Sorry pal.
My son is jamming to The Smiths.
I did something right with that boy.
(hannah likes rap and it’s a source of much shame )
So sorry.
Boy2’s first week at work went well, I was out of town but I’ve received positive comments from multiple folks.
https://is.gd/1KvJhY
https://is.gd/_once_Boy2_gets_on_full_time
Whippet good!
I don’t know what I did wrong, Scott.
Start over, Car in.
It’s God’s way of communicating to you which ones to stop feeding.
I’ve got a new muse for Chumpo’s wire poats:
https://is.gd/mOn75t
Waiting for son and friend at soccer field. I don’t mind why I’m nervous. Last day off tryout for high school team.
So, I should kick her out of the house?
I might as well say this here too, it may actually get read.
On the ONT at Ace’s they have that intersection video. I designed all 4 projects at University and I-75, and about 7 intersections on University to the east and west of 75. There was a lot of talk between the developers about the interchange and how it would impact the developments. FDOT was talking about flyovers at that time. It is nice to see something so innovative.
Sell her, may as well recoup the investment.
https://is.gd/D18rmt
You need to fully embrace the thug life Carin. Gaudy jewelry and hip hop clothing (whatever that is). Let her know her dentist has offered a family discount on gold teeth implants. Maybe she’ll figure out how Ludacris it all is
You should listen to Jimbro. He’s pre-med.
I blame Car in’s gangster lifestyle.
I’m gonna start sagging my jeans.
Ethan was dual roastered – jv and varsity. Not bad for a little freshman.
I was trying to remember why Mayagüez was familiar. They’ve been winning the moon buggy races.
Car in didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose her.
Vmax, I don’t think I’ve seen an intersection like that. I know there’s one interstate near JSC where I nearly got killed because there was no acceleration lane and a Jersey barrier on the right.
If your beau’s on the dole, he better be swole
Makes sense. No work -> no status from work.
Unfortunately status from work doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
We have lots of people around here who wear their pants below thier butt. Incredibly stupid looking and I thought it went out of style about 10 years ago. They really look like morons.
I seek status through pithy gif comments and boob posts.
The former later was involved in a scandal to steal land from salt-of-the-earth farmers before the railroad went through.
That’s “Hedley!
1960 – Chad declares independence from sobriety.
Roamy hardest hit.
Hit on, anyway.
https://is.gd/6Y5emW
Why does life do this to me?
https://i.imgur.com/OWlh98V.gifv
Did Rosetta come back and do today’s BBF?
This has Rosetta written all over it.
MY NEW RUNNING SHOES ARE HERE
MY NEW RUNNING SHOES ARE HERE
There was a riot in south-central Lapeer? You went “shopping”?
* points *
My shoes just sit there.
I’ve only worn shoes once this week, and that was to ride a bike.
Work is going to suck. It’s going to be a billion degrees in there.
People who exaggerate are a million times worse than those who don’t.
97 million degrees here, feels like 108 million degrees.
Every time I watch some of the Olympics, I see a Hillary ad. The exit tax one in particular makes me shouty. Is the NotHillary crowd going to do anything? Or do ad buys matter?
Let me tax rich people more, it will employ you! I will put you to work building crumbling bridges!
–Hillary! 2016
When is Trump gonna put out an ad?
l – r H2 – IB
https://is.gd/3AUspF
Oh good lord I have a ear worm playing Black Sabbath War Pigs in my head
Let me tax rich people more, it will employ you! I will put you to work building crumbling bridges!
Shovel-ready jobs!
Shovel-ready shit.
And STAY dead!
So, this is what comes up when you Google “running late just give me whatever as long as it has big tits.” Good to know.
NFL is back!
Cute blond was at the gym again today. Think the actress who plays Danaerys Targarean from Game of Thrones crossed with an olympic gymnast.
http://imgur.com/Nxfptxy
Steelers vs Loins on NFL Network
I fell asleep watching preseason football last night.
I was in the shower about an hour ago and felt something moving under my foot.
It was a big black spider.
Not all black lives matter.
Why you even gotta bring the spider’s race into this, man?
It was at least a 20 pounder.
That spider was an aspiring rapper. He was starting college in a couple of weeks.
He was on his way to his grandma’s web.
Sang in the church choir.
Did the church bells ring?
Didya listen to whut the preacher main said?
Did ya throw him some change?
Racism. It’s everywhere.
The spider’s family released this photo of him:
https://is.gd/LCBMFu
He entered my home illegally.
You shoulda called a pest control professional and waited.
Arms up, don’t smoosh.
Did this spider wear its pants below its butt? If so, thug!
Thug spiders are the worst because they are unpredictable.
Huh, Scott showering, could have been a gay spider.
NTTIATWWT
I heard that Trump steps on spiders with his $1500 shoes. Sad.
>>He entered my home illegally.
Build that wall!
Comment by Jay in Ames on August 12, 2016 8:46 am
Love my Merrells, and so does everyone else I know that wears them.
=======
How many people do you let wear your shoes?
Build that wall!
——
Hahahaha
Stupid Scott McCain.
All spiders matter
Scott arranged a proper funeral for the spider.
Andy and Wiser were in attendance.
Scott, did you kill that spider? That’s not who we are!
I didn’t kill it.
I sent it down the drain.
If I had a gun though, I would have used it.
Uh-oh. New details emerge about scott’s towel…
http://www.cotton-love.com/product/FLG065
Scott is is a micro aggressor.
You have to set an example.
Scott should have set aside a safe space. I’m calling OSHA.
Scott acted stupidly. Just another trigger happy person who should not be wearing a uniform.
All Arachnids matter.
Scott could have a beer summit.
(In his shower)
(Alone)
Done it before.
Thumbs up.
Not a single spider on the grand jury. Is it any wonder they failed to get an indictment?
It was a lot like this https://is.gd/stu61n
No webs, no peace!
Two legs bad! Eight legs good!
It was the itzy bitzy spider who went up the water spout. Turned on the shower and washed the spider out.
**earworm from 20 years ago**
Best version of itsy bitsy spider evah.
Ok, I exaggerated. It was only 80 degrees in the dining room. It was the seventh circle of hell in the kitchen.
Tables were complaining, and I just explained that Lucky was a cheap son-of-a-bitch and they should be glad they don’t have to go in the kitchen.
His “line” is that all restaurants are this temp/hot.
What he means to say is that all HIS restaurants are this temperature.
Was the spider sagging his pants?
Because … in the shower … it was speaking code to scott.
I think we have to address some of the real problems here–that arachnids are underrepresented in the new Fall CBS lineup.
Drain spiders don’t die!!!!! They just wait…ready to come up the drain again…
Last night, Egyptian judo guy was being pressured to drop out of match with Israeli. Lots of social media threats from IS and MB. Egyptian govt stepped in: Compete or be stripped of citizenship. Thousands of tweets threatening his life if he competed with Israeli. He competed. Lost. Facing inquiry about way he closed Taiwan offices
When I look into your eyes
A reflection of a derp, I see
I’m hurt, down-hearted and worried, girl
‘Cause that derp doesn’t belong to me
https://is.gd/B30uyc – she’s lifting 304 lbs
Lydia Valentin from Spain, I think a Bronze Medal Winner in her weight class.
https://is.gd/2Wt98k
https://is.gd/PFeRFg
wakey
Rained hard last night. Tomato trellis will completely collapse without a lot of work.
I saw my first Olympic race last night. Paula had the remote. Women sprinting in qualifying rounds. I would’ve preferred swimming or gymnastics.
Sup.
https://is.gd/oQktaH
Lauraw, how is the scale going for you? I’m very much stalled out. Still in ketosis, still eating LCHF, working out (weights). NO sugar. 2 glasses red wine.
Do I have to forgo the wine to see results on the scale? Didnt have to initially.
Leon, any suggestions. I know the scale isn’t everything, however, it’s motivating to see it move.
Watched a documentary on 1936 Olympics. Jesse Owens said the real snub wasn’t from Hitler, who wouldn’t shake his hand, but from FDR, who wouldn’t send a congratulatory telegram or any other acknowledgment.
Jesse Owens was a big deal at the exact right time.
I’m not as enthused about talking about race and “first time for a _________” to do such and such NOW. We should not even mention race (BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FREAKING MATTER). If it happens to inspire ___________ well, then good. Just like any sort of person is inspired to do something.
By the way, Simone said Michael Phelps was her inspiration (You know, that tall, skinny, weird looking white guy). But I’m sure that will morph somehow.
Take waist measurements, Mare. Are you eating a lot of cheese or nuts? Nuts especially can stall you because the fats can be really inflammatory.
I had a ultra-thin slice of cheddar on a scramble yesterday and 1 Babybel. Did have 1/4 cup of mac nuts. Will watch that now, Leon. Thanks.
That doesn’t seem like a lot, Mare, and macadamias are better than most nuts. Maybe just measure the waist and give it time. Maybe 1 glass of wine next time, I dunno.
Gotcha. Didn’t seem like a lot to me neither. Oh, I have been drinking flavored (no cal, no carbs) carbonated water. Shouldn’t do anything other than temporary bloating, if that.
Maybe 1 glass of wine next time, I dunno.
https://is.gd/eK4qcy
Exactomundo, Pups.
Actually, I measure my glasses (now). 6oz.
I love the Michael Phelps mad face meme. Add to that, he kicked that guy’s ass in the pool…perfect.
That Egyptian A-hole who wouldn’t shake hands with an Israeli got booed which is something at least.
Any diet that requires giving up wine is bull crap. Get off of it.
Looks like Anthony Peener is up to his old juvenile behavior. If anyone is waging a war on women it’s him and the Cleenus.
Phelps created a new Olympics record by winning 13 individual golds. He broke the previous record. Held by Leonidas. For last 2168 years.
The mind, it boggles.
Also, Roamy, before you craft next week’s HHD, google – us men’s gymnastics team
Swimming in the olympics is bullshit. Every event boils down to “swim fast” and they give you different medals for every event where you swim fast.
Mare, does the flavored water have aspartame or sucrulose? It’s no-cal, but it could be messing up your insulin response.
No, Roamy. I’ve given up all artificial sweeteners. Well, trying to. Thanks for thinking of it though.
You know what sucks ass more than Obama in college?
Measuring my waist.
Better than measuring your waste.
Come over here. I’ll measure your waist.
Amen, brother!
Leon where exactly should I be measuring my waist? Belly button? Below?
Also, COCK!!!
Based on my measurement, I’m this guy:
http://tinyurl.com/gsxhgeg
Mark my words. Leonidas will come out of retirement and retake the record. That’s how all these head case egomaniacs are.
>>Based on my measurement, I’m this guy:
Mare, you bitch!! That was sposta be for your eyes only.
Okay, did weights now going on about a 15 mile bike ride. STUPID SCALE!!
I measure at the belly button. All that really matters is that you always measure at roughly the same spot.
Third day in a row where the ‘feels like’ temperature is 105-110.
I don’t know how you folks deal with this crap.
After all the rain we cooled down to a comfy 81-83F.
Scott,
Do you run your mosquito magnet all the time?
My yard is uninhabitable.
No skeeters here at all this year after early June. Way too dry.
High today will be 111. Will feel like 111.
After this much rain I should be checking the woods for morels and oyster mushrooms tomorrow and Monday.
My stump farming for chicken of the woods appears to be a bust so far, but the summer’s not over, and it’s been positively arid.
New poat.
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