Pozdravy Soudruzy, and welcome to another addition of Big Boob Friday.
I wrote this song while I was on hiatus from BBF for 2 weeks, and convinced some hipster doofuses to record it because it’s going to be a big hit, I intend to use the royalties to fulfill my lifelong dream to meet Mare.
*
*
Special thanks to MJ for filling in admirably.
Your model for today was born in Prague, Czech Republic on January 4th, 1984. she measures 38-26-36, with DD commie knockers, stands 5’6″ tall and 117lbs. She likes your mom, fish sticks, movies, and making porn movies with your mom. Please stop being so nakedly transparent about transparency long enough to welcome, Miss Ashley Robbins!
285 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Wakey, wakey from Anchorage!
I will allow that this may not be a ‘Car-in approved’ wakey wakey as I have not gone to bed yet, but screw it.
BTW, it’s a lovely 0 degrees here in Alaska. May have to cab it to the local bar tomorrow.
Trying to prep my body to fly the long red-eye flight to Chicago tomorrow night, will stay up until 4, wake up, work out and stay up until at least 5 am.
These 40+ hour layovers require precise sleep/drinking management.
Nice job. She’s hideous.
Thought I could stay awake a little longer, but I’m fading fast.
Finished ”Sniper’s Honor’ once we landed. Probably the best of the Swagger books that I’ve read.
Maybe because I used to be a Russian linguist, maybe because I’m ex- military, maybe because I just like reading about Nazi’s being killed:
It’s very good if you like the series/genre.
The author definitely knows his guns.
She has a nice personality.
Off to bed. Livin’ on the back side of the clock.
Like a BOSS!
Aren’t flights to California, like, a million dollars?
I think Pat is going to revoke his “you can go next time” promise.
wakey wakey
(whatever Phat)
I have no idea how you do it Phat.
You’re a gentleman and a sausage.
I don’t speak Spanish, so I’m not going.
Plus, my passport has expired.
Flight prices are all over.
Detroit: $800
Memphis: $500
LA: $300
The fuck?
California’s a cult, so I also worry about that.
Plus the $800 flight.
For $800, we should do the meetup somewhere really cool. Like Ireland.
I’ll go anywhere for a meet up these days. I used to think it was nuts to travel for a day, then hang out for a day and a half but now that’s my life.
Wait, California, what?
Oh, and just in case you didn’t know, NJ and Philly suck. What a dump.
Vegas has cheap flights for everyone, don’t they? I think ease/cheapness should be a significant factor.
*looks at jar of pennies I’ve been saving for the next meetup
Dollywood. I want to ride Tits Mountain, or the Burt Reynold’s Mustache Whirl-a-gig Extravaganza.
Ok, I’ve been researching and I think I gave myself runners bursitis. Looks like I’ll be biking for the next few weeks.
I totally blame the treadmill. I probably wasn’t running correctly.
Maybe it’s your shoes.
It was the zumba.
*looks at jar of pennies I’ve been saving for the next meetup
The strippers are gonna hate you…
It’s probably her prostate.
Charlotte. Let’s just come here for a meat face.
I sure hope Charlotte isn’t your mom’s name.
Poor form on her dead lift.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/84507550/
Well, seeing as though I was on my treadmill, running, when I started feeling the pain …
But yes, it was probably my deadlift.
Heh. Wuz referring to our friend from Prague. But I guess it could be used as a universal response.
“Hey, why does this omelet taste like crap?”
“Poor form on her deadlift”.
I forget that people look at the picture, Tex.
Aren’t flights to California, like, a million dollars?
Check Phoenix and carpool with Cyn.
I forget that people look at the picture, Tex.
Goddammit
Some of those poses on today’s model are not approved by Miss Manners. Especially that last one.
I wrecked my left knee with treadmill running in college. Never again.
Letter to the editor in the local rag…..Ct doesn’t suck, we have “perception” issues.
HA HA HA HA
CT makes me excited and happy about Detroit.
Not Michigan, Detroit. It’s in better shape.
CT’s appeal is becoming more selective.
Letter to the editor in the local rag…..Ct doesn’t suck, we have “perception” issues.
——
Those lefties LOVE their word play.
Vegas would be fun, but we’d have to do it other than July, or it’s gonna be hot, hot, hot. I vote September.
I’m not fat, it’s only my perception my pants won’t fit over my girth.
I’m fat.
My waist is more inches than my thighs, so I’m fat too.
Today’s model isn’t skanky, you need to check your own perception issues.
No, she’s skanky.
NTTAWWT. Sometimes skanky is what you wanted.
I had a dream about xbradtc last night. Was at my home in Tacoma. Met my girls when they were little and they wanted to know why he had a funny name.
“we seem to have a chronic negative perception and negative psyche issue — that we must fix!”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Lord, I wish this stupid douche would shut up. (If there is white privilege he’s the poster boy for it):
http://weaselzippers.us/216946-kerry-outraged-people-still-use-outdated-and-immoral-fossil-fuels/
This dumb, ass just keeps talking…SHUT UP:
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/patrick-goodenough/kerry-climate-change-elementary-truth-laws-gravity
So the Big Boob Gingers are coming here to harvest souls now?
Guess the gas milage of the $138K hybrid BMW i8?
Just had breakfast at the Seahorse- with MJ’s mom.
She said he never calls or writes.
Yeah, hey look… I’m really sorry about this one. I mean, I did a half-way decent job on the body, but I was having a really bad day and when I got to the face, well, I kinda dropped the ball on that.
My bad, yo.
Where in St. Pete are you staying, Hotspur?
I’m glad God fessed up on this one because it is NOT his best work.
My husband would like to live on Pass A Grille.
Staying with friends who live in Pass-a-Grille, just south of St. Pete Beach.
The pool is to my right, the canal is to my left, and the umbrella is above me.
Today’s BBF chick desperately needs a hair colorist, but she’s rockin’ some cute outfits. That Pupster douche would have liked this one.
http://media3.giphy.com/media/s1pediblzPNao/giphy.gif
Why not Pass-a-Beer?
I miss the Seahorse. Used to go all of the time.
No need just yet, Scott. I’m only halfway through this one.
“The Seahorse”
*sniggers*
A good place for breakfast, sit outside in their fun garden, is Sweet Sage.
“reverse seahorse”
Did you ride the Seahorse, MJ?
Probably a euphemism.
Hillary looks like she’s been hitting the antidepressants in that header pic.
“I miss the Seahorse…”
It’s funny because it sounds so gay.
It’s funny because it is gay.
Well there’s that.
*puts a drop of Advantix between Kitty’s shouder blades.*
Flea and tick season
Shut up you assholes.
SHUT YOUR FACE!
hahahah, MJ come here, I’ll hold you.
Seahorses. Muppets.
It all makes sense now.
IT’S A TRAP
I’m actually a seahorse.
hahahah, MJ come here, I’ll hold you.
——————–
Perv. I’m only 9.
SHUT YOUR FACE, MJ!
Ugh, I’m reading The King’s Hounds and it’s one of those books that insists on using Welsh-like names, 5 of them in one paragraph. And you just think, “well, I don’t have a fricken clue who any of those people are now because they all sound alike.”
Earfin Bayardghhe vs Eervin Baanadahhl.
Nailed it, Chumpo.
I mean, I know the author can’t use the name BillyBob, but COME ON!!
Suck it up, buttercup.
You know what books uses easy names that won’t tax your brain?
Fifty shades of gray.
You’re welcome.
I had relations with a Welsh Lass. It was craziest when she was speaking Chinese.
It’s a murder mystery, the brain taxing is the follow along of the clues given.
Brain tax?
Obama is working on it. Most of his base would be exempt.
Of course.
We should have the CA meetup here. In Palm Desert. In August. When it’s 120F. Outdoors.
Come on, xbrad, we already did Arizona. Let’s go to the other extreme.
Maine or Boston in January.
Fuck it.
Let’s go to Mosul. Al Qaeda is on the run, you know.
Honestly, I’d be okay with a progressive tax based on IQ.
Yes, I have a tested IQ of 89, why do you ask?
why we can’t do a TX meat?
#POOLPARTY@DAVES
Do you really think Dave will let us in the pool?
He’s got a pool, and a pond. Uh…pond would be good, for you.
Had lunch here: http://is.gd/VkKkEs
Clicked on AoSHQ upon return and achieved synchronicity.
#areyougonnafinishthat
That’s what I thought.
*wipes nose on sleeve
Do The Humpty Hump…
Do it NAW!!
http://is.gd/oh_hey_lauraw_whats_that_thing
Wow, you must have a LOT of earwax.
Yes. Earwax.
*cough*
Enemas come from a bag, silly.
http://i.imgur.com/RhlVgmk.gifv
Enemas killed it. Must have been too salty.
Hah, good one!
That’s a great video. I will tolerate a cat. I’m good with dogs, but only outside.
That would have been a perfect “L to R: H2, IB” bit.
HA!
Buenas tardes, Tards!
Cynny, did you ever get over to try out Pizza Bianco?
Chief?
http://tinyurl.com/mkqz5m5
Unfortunately, no I did not; my case was more or less dismissed early and they weren’t even open for lunch yet when we let out. Stoopid plaintiffs ruined it. RUINT!
Maybe the meat-up should be here again and you could be our bus driver to Pizza Bianco.
Cyn!
http://goo.gl/H8Uw1x
That sounds like a dream.
Johnboy?
http://tinyurl.com/mjcj2mm
http://goo.gl/H8Uw1x
Hawt!
Dream?
Dream come true!
TITS2-Electric Boogaloo
Gene Cernan, Apollo 17, is on with Cavuto right now… that guy is amazing. Freaking Amazing.
Cyn – Facebook outed me. So, I have to go by my IRL name there now.
They did? That’s bullshit. And it will be their downfall. Seriously: GooglePlus is going to start looking good if they’re pulling this carp.
I haven’t been to Facekoob in ages. I should probably go see what name I used when I set that thing up.
Um, does anyone happen to know what email I used or password to create that thing?
I want to know how they figured out your IRL name.
Holy crap, I didn’t notice that the “tranny at PF” story happened in friggin’ Midland. That’s just a couple of hours from me.
sent you a message there, maybe that will help.
You sent me a message at Facebook about what my username and password is at Facebook?
Tanks mon!
haha, thought you might get a facebook notification that you got a message.
Calm yourself.
Now I have to figure out which of my 7,246.2 email accounts I tied to Facebook.
L to R: Cyn, Jay.
Stop it, I’m just trying to help!
Cyn – They didn’t figure it out. They saw I was using a nom de plume and said I had to use my real name (providing them w/ proof) or they were going to shut down my account.
They made you provide proof of your real name too?! JC on a pogo stick.
Welp, that was fun while it lasted.
My pics of phallus shaped ice machine art and stealing bricks from a local eatery should probably be removed, huh.
This is truly amazing and I really hope that something comes of this:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150312-how-to-talk-online-with-only-touch
I think we are headed back to pen pals.
Dearest Facebook,
Yes that is too my name, prove that it is not. Also, please take a wet bite of my formerly white briefs.
Assholes.
Sincerely,
Buff A. Lone
What if you sign up with a real sounding fake name?
My guess is that you’re in the clear, Jay.
Mscyn is a totally legit name. Swearsies.
*sends Mr. Chumpo a Morse code message using a fake name*
That glove is going to be perfected in
fivetwo years, I guarantee it.Thanks:
-.. — -.– — ..- …. .- …- . .- -… — – – .-… —.–. . -. . .-.?
I use my real name on faceknob but everything else is bullshit.
Hotspur is my real name. Swear.
Wait, you’re not really a giant asshole?
I thought a pendejo meant
One who hums show tunes while gardening.
Good day, sequences of ones and zeroes.
Bleep Bloop
Nice Czech Buff A. Lone. The picture with black undergarments and a vacuous look on her face does it for me.
She benefits greatly from a good makeup artist. Naturally, she’s kinda got a Rocky Dennis thing going on. Yeesh.
craniodiaphyseal dysplasia
Had to search about Rocky D. Never saw Mask.
Here, pull my finger
http://tinyurl.com/os5gjvr
Heh. That was pretty good, Jim. Is that what happened to everyone else who’s normally here?
Sucked into the black hole.
Just got off work and finished cooking dinner.
What’s for suppah? We had homemade French bread pizza.
We’ve got homemade fish chowdah.
Pollock is good stuff, and only $2 per lb.
I made sticky rice and stirred in a can of salmon, salt, pepper, ginger, garlic, and turmeric.
It’s Lent and I’m lifting in the morning, so fish + carbs.
Pendejo Gigante? I kinda like it.
how YOU doin’?
I made cioppino per Mini-me’s request.
I’ve also had a shower and dressed for bed. A challenging day but a good one.
http://is.gd/YA7jhF
I’m gonna munch on a sack of salty nuts in about half an hour. That salty nut sack will give me the energy I need to sell these balls to Asian businessmen for the next few hours.
Yep.
I’m gonna munch on a sack of salty nuts in about half an hour. That salty nut sack will give me the energy I need to sell these balls to Asian businessmen for the next few hours.
Yep.
Too easy.
I made sticky rice and stirred in a can of salmon, salt, pepper, ginger, garlic, and turmeric.
—-
So rice is okay again?
I bought a piece of smoked salmon at Trader Joes for Lenten Friday.
The smoked salmon like the Indians make, not the type the Jews make although I like that too.
I’ll just leave this here for everyone:
http://is.gd/rFtaLC
So none of you numb nuts will tell me about the candy bar deal?
I bought some sockeye salmon today.
It isn’t smoked
Yeeesh, I just talked to my neighbor at the mailbox.
Me: How are you?
Neighbor: Great, how are you?
Me: Can’t wait to see some blue sky, We’re going on a trip next week and I’m hoping to see it every day.
Neighbor: Have fun!
Me: You too!
——-
It was going fine until that last bit.
Too easy.
I know, right? It’s like some fruit just hangs too damn low to even be worth it, huh?
Used to get the Sky Bar at the movies as a kid. Do they still make them?
Mare, where are you going?
San Destin, Fl.
It has been cloudy here for about a week. As in not see blue sky for a week.
It’s just a quick trip so I don’t go postal.
Redneck Riviera.
I’ve never been to that part of Florida.
What candy bars?
What Mare?
Beautiful day here in Anchorage.
Also happens to about 5 degrees F.
Invigorating!
Okay, I think I understand now.
http://imgur.com/gallery/ULshWcs
Redneck Riviera.
—–
Not even close.
That’s the Alabama, just into FLorida part.
San Destin, Seaside, Blue Mountain, Watercolor, are reeeeeeally nice and in fact more expensive than Hawaii. Great beaches, clean.
I miss the sun
I do too, Vman. Badly.
I have a bunch of extra sun if you guys want any. Seriously, it’s been in the 90s here all day.
Of all my false expectations about living in Texas, I never imagined how cloudy it is. I miss seeing the stars at night, and a sunny day here is only partly sunny.
Of course I have only been here 2 years it might only be bad luck.
Redneck Riviera is the first 100 miles of the panhandle. Sandestin is smack dab in the middle of that.
Laura’s on spring break next week.
Tuesday we plant peas.
Of all my false expectations about living in Texas, I never imagined how cloudy it is. I miss seeing the stars at night, and a sunny day here is only partly sunny.
Of course I have only been here 2 years it might only be bad luck.
——
That’s how I feel, I simply had no idea it was cloudy so much.
Been here almost 5, vman. About the same.
This is why the Post Office asks if you are shipping batteries.
http://is.gd/kKYDak
AW DAMMIT.
I had to go fix one of the stupid machines here and in the meantime, some dumbass ended a car chase by jumping out of his car with his gun blazing and got his ass shot on live teevee. Totally missed it.
I guess it’s referring to the rich people from Texas, Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia who vacation/own there.
It’s a nice crowd.
You want sun? Come to AZ… I am in absolute heaven on those rare occasions when we have cloud cover. Seriously, something like 364.92 days a year are sunny here.
Was he black?
Looked to be one of oso’s cuzzins.
Seriously, something like 364.92 days a year are sunny here.
Piker.
Yes, they still sell Sky Bars. I’ve bought them at Cracker Barrel,
Did he rob a Jimmy John’s first or was it just pure car chase?
I’m watching the Texas Basketball championships on a FoxSports webcast and the picture and coverage is fantastic.
Mare Get on I20 and go to exit 83 or so.
Vmax. Get on I10 and go to exit 276 or so.
You’ll get your cloudless skies and stars.
You’ll also get sparse vegetation. Due to the lack of clouds.
…are fantastic
I was just in Waco PD. Had snow and plenty of sunshine.
Mare, are there any negros playing? They seem to have a knack for the sport.
Got back here have had nothing but clouds.
BOOOOOOOOOOO
Domestic, Cyn. Although I can’t rule out that John’s Jimmy was involved.
My husband’s best friend’s brother is the head coach of Plano West. GREAT guy. Mostly black players but one of his best is white. Going to Ohio State next year. Two others to Texas A & M. One going to UCLA to play football.
Do your teevee networks replay the the bad stuff if they’ve already aired it live, Sean?
http://www.avclub.com/article/vince-gilligan-says-quit-throwing-pizzas-roof-brea-216436
Very interesting.
They show the guy getting out of the car, yelling and waving his gun, then popping off a couple of shots at the cops. Then, freeze frame right before he’s shot.
FOR THE CHILDREN™!!!!
Chirrens!!11!
No doubt somebody TiVo’d that and has already U/L’d to YouTube.
It’s already on youtube, Sean:
http://tinyurl.com/pwccqpo
Heh. Good one, b-rad. But I found some good footage of it here:
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
This is why the Post Office asks if you are shipping batteries.
Maybe they should stop fucking stabbing the packages.
Maybe they should stop fucking stabbing the packages.
—–
hahahahahaha, yeah, how often does that go on at the Post Office?
Why do you want to know, mare? Are you wearing a wire? DID THE POSTMASTER GENERAL GET TO YOU???!!
It’s the stray bullets.
I have eaten more garlic over the last few weeks than I have had over the last several years.
I think I am currently saturated.
It’s amazing how Cali shuts down to watch a good car chase.
Maybe if the Post Office didn’t fold/spindle/mutilate packages, there wouldn’t be a problem, Scoot.
Trading absolutely stopped at the exchanges to watch car chases.
Oh, oh, that’s what that smell was.
Perfect Secret Satan present for Cyn
http://tinyurl.com/cynsatan
I ate too many calories today. My husband is out of town so I can’t blame it on him, and I have work out early tomorrow so I’m not drinking so I can’t blame it on the wine.
Sean, I think I’ll blame it on you!
I stink.
Did you see where the post office is secretly filming customers?
I’ll take the hit, mare. I have broad–if somewhat doughy–shoulders.
Scott smells like the Korean Grocer.
I can only eat it for a couple more weeks until the pollen starts flying.
I have broad–if somewhat doughy–shoulders.
—–
Want to go to workout class with me? Some guys in it and you sweat like a pig and the music is thumping and there are lots of in shape women, not me but lots.
Also we can make snide comments about hipsters wearing tank tops.
No hipsters in the class but wandering around by the machines, not using them but wandering around.
After a long flight, I’m finally home.
Well, technically I got home maybe an hour ago. But I don’t like you hosefuckers that much, so I watched TV instead.
There’s a new gym about five minutes away from my house, mare. Membership is $9.95 a month. Every fiber of my lazy-ass being tells me not to join, but I really think I should.
I found out today how unprepared for the zombie apocalypse.
I went to the doc and ran on a treadmill until i cried ouch.
It took all of 9 minutes.
Zombies can’t run. You only have to be faster than fat people.
Sean, I am a hermit. Or as those who know me well, the most outgoing, friendly, hermit on the planet. Meaning once I’m out, I’m interested and engaged, laugh a lot and listen (for some reason people tell me EVERYTHING).
Going to the gym is a good way to get out of the house. And I need it, if for nothing else to be around people.
Plus, I’m really strong again and the weight training has prevented me from turning into a circle.
I agree Scott. But other than naturally skinny people like you, we have to work at not being the fattest person running from a zombie.
People talk at the gym?
Scott’s zombie plan:
Rest while you are shooting, run while reloading.
No talking while I’m on a treadmill.
But before strength class people chit chat and during the class we I’ve asked people to ignore me when they hear the dry heaving. It’s kind of bonding when classmates look at each other and say, “Do you know CPR?”
Making friends with CPR.
I like it!
You people are funneh. Stop profiling mi familia. You can describe clothes. Soon, BOLOs won’t be able to use gender.
Shoot a fatty, walk 50 feet, take a nap.
You can describe clothes.
Cholo clothes. There, happy now?
Mare kinda described me. I’m pretty gregarious once I know you but until you make the first move I’m happy just to glare at you. Or stare at your tits.
*puts forearm across chest*
*giggles*
What kinda sick fuck wants to look at my tits?
MJ
Comment by scott on March 13, 2015 10:30 pm
Shoot a fatty, walk 50 feet, take a nap.
—-
I cannot fault Scott’s logic.
*thinks hard*
I smile at everyone, but keep the unofficial Marine motto in mind:
Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Did anybody point out that the new logo for anybody else’s company kind of looks like a swastika today?
I do that too, without the smiling.
Be polite, be professional, plan to kill Mare when we meet.
I like smiling. Smiling is my favorite.
Mare is Mattis? Mind-blown!
People think I’m sweet. Then I drop a few “Your Mom” jokes and other stuff and suddenly I’m freaking people out.
I like smiling. Smiling is my favorite.
http://is.gd/lfFTMZ
DoJ is all up in our grill. Blah blah blah 14 cop shootings AFTER they started monitoring us.
Sean, totes not expecting that. I was thinking Buddy the Elf.
I like smiling. Smiling is my favorite.
http://tinyurl.com/ndsnrfl
LOL
Clearly, what you need is MOAR MONITORING!
Out here in LIV Land i just want you guys to know that we are currently at 5 pregnancies, no marriage at The Club. Ricoh has finally been caught. AKA caught by a girl that wouldn’t abort.
Just hit the too drunk to comment wall. G’night.
Nitey-nite, osita. Be sure to drink some water.
Does this dump have an AIM (Acronym Identification Manual)? I never know wtf Oso is talking about, about half the time.
AKA is short for “Also Known As.”
You’re welcome.
Out here in LIV Land i just want you guys to know that we are currently at 5 pregnancies, no marriage at The Club. Ricoh has finally been caught. AKA caught by a girl that wouldn’t abort.
At the next Meat-Up, you and Car in can swap Sean stories.
Derp her real gentle
Gotta make her feel good
Tell her that you love her
Like you know you should
So if you don’t treat her right
She won’t love you tonight
Wake the fuck up, pussies.
Pussy, I like pussy…and pie….and candy bars.
Buffet style.
Good morning.
Hi Candy Hydrant and Jimbro.
goomerang, errybooey wait-
*grabs MJ by the tiny scruff of his neck*
Hah! Gotcha. OK. Now tell me what the candy bars signify! TALK.
*shakes the living Hell out of him*
and stop throwing up, too!
Why the heck am I up so early on a Saturday?
They are making grasshoppers for St. Pat’s on the news this morning.
Be polite, be professional, plan to kill Mare when we meet.
*puts check-mark next to Xbrad’s name.
Not too bad. Only the 13th of the month.
wakey wakey
Happy pi day!
Good morning, Turds!
Rise and SHINE!
Also, HTF do you age 5 years by sleeping?
So, she really didn’t think this was going to happen? That guys a pig:
http://tinyurl.com/mzagyf4
We have pecan pie for Pi Day.
Pumpkin pie eaten at pi minute (3/14/15 9:26)
>> We have pecan pie for Pi Day.
hi
Hahahahahaha. Now I get the techniker comments from yesterday.
http://tinyurl.com/kowu8bp
>>>So, she really didn’t think this was going<<<
Springer material w money. Shoot em all.
The drink of the day will be an Almond Joy.
Malibu, creme de cacao, Frangilco.
Mare, check your Reagan mail.