Hello racissis. This is going to be a pretty disappointing post, because well, you should kind of expect it at this point. Life is disappointing, and even though this may sound ridiculous, boobs can also be a bit disappointing.
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I wrote this song for this post. Duh.
Today’s model hails from the British Isles and is currently 23 years old. After holding out for many, many days, she decided that clothed modeling just wasn’t for her. First it was nekkid modeling, and then after 45 minutes she was licking fish and chips…. the road less taken. Please give a tepid, albeit plus sized, welcome to Demi Scott!!111!!!!!!!!11
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Since you’re all hostages, and not all prone to procrastination, we’ll just go ahead and skip this year’s instruction and go right to the test. I call the seat next to Roamy. If you’re really desperate you could ask one of the nameless, faceless, bloggers at IB for their advice about last minute cramming. Of course, they’ll most likely tell you about the great hurricane of nineteen ought 6 and then poop their pants. Hip like Bieber.
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1066 – William the Conqueror and his army set sail from the mouth of the Somme River, beginning the Norman Conquest of England.
1529 – The Siege of Vienna begins when Suleiman I attacks the city.
1777 – Lancaster, Pennsylvania is the capital of the United States, for one day.
1854 – The steamship SS Arctic sinks with 300 people on board. This marks the first great disaster in the Atlantic Ocean.
1903 – Wreck of the Old 97, a train crash made famous by the song of the same name.
1968 – The stage musical Hair opens at the Shaftesbury Theatre in London, where it played 1,998 performances until its closure was forced by the roof collapsing in July 1973.
2005 – After 162 episodes, Tom and Jerry aired it’s final episode titled, The Karate Guard.
2007 – NASA launches the Dawn probe.
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This weekend I’ll be picking my local, sustainable, organic, fair trade, holistic, cottage cheese from the garden. What are you up to?
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Erro?
Herro.
I’m .25 Irish by way of Newfoundland.
I just barfed a little of my cottage cheese back up.
I’m English. Now eat a potato you drunken, wife beating mick.
Gotta slow down on the eating, Jimbro. You’d think a doctor would know things like that.
“Mass Slaughter and Obama’s Mystifying Indifference
In 2007, as a presidential candidate, Barack Obama said ignoring Darfur would be ‘a stain on our souls.’ Now: nothing.”
Op-Ed in today’s wsj by Mia Farrow and some dude.
When you’ve lost Mia Farrow….
Oh
My
God…
… those elbows!!!11!
Nice sammich avatar, MJ. Go Meat!
Arby’s roast beef. With some sort of cheddar cheese sauce.
I’m sure Leon knows or is looking up the exact contents. Leon?
I’m basically down to fish and pork at this point. Meat? Not so much.
I tried eating a ribeye a few weeks back and spent the next day like this:
Good job, MJ.
She is not particularly attractive.
It’s never good when MJ breaks out the roast beef.
eww
pupster, was it you who said the Longmire books were good?
I’m enjoying the audio version of the first one now. First person, too? Read by an old guy (George Guidall) so that adds to the story.
Very good!
Good linkies today!
23 years old….HA HA HA HA
I just finished this one, and it’s really good. Especially if you love movies:
He’s an ass, but a really successful one. And kinda lovable, too, I guess.
Yeah, that was me, Jay. Big fan of the books.
I’m sure Leon knows or is looking up the exact contents. Leon?
It’s on bread, so no.
I’m basically down to fish and pork at this point. Meat? Not so much.
Aw crap, MJ has destroyed his digestive system with girly drinks and it’s turning him into a vegan, or a pussy, BIRM.
Where’s PJ been?
http://tinyurl.com/pqmq4rm
This one is a tucker. I mean, she definitely likes to sit down in the kitchen and have a good tuck in.
whoa
Did someone mention meat?
Gym time. Not crossfat.
Her face doesn’t seem that nice.
Did someone mention meat?
http://i.imgur.com/WzDRsYX.jpg
Gross!
My legs look better and I’m 51.
Cankles!
I have a couple of old cookbooks around here that feature that same extra-lurid color photography. Makes even bread seem vaguely obscene.
I was curious about the price of bulbs for the first time in years.
http://www.johnscheepers.com/
Man, I could almost start flower gardening again. Not quite. Almost. Sooo pretty.
These are real nice and easy for forcing into bloom indoors in Winter.
http://www.johnscheepers.com/flower-bulbs-index/tulips/single-early/tulip-single-finest-mixture.html
Back when I used to do that. I chilled them in a big cooler in the garage, then brought them into the fridge here.
Sigh.
Might be worth doing just a few pots again this year. Just for fun.
Hey, that meat is good, low carb stuff.
Man, it’s blowing wind like God’s own flatulence up here on Hate Hill.
Better bulk prices: http://www.vanengelen.com/
I’m offended.
Hey, I did NOT click “like” on this post, someone
is dicking around with my avatar.
ROSETTA !!!!!!
Aw crap, MJ has destroyed his digestive system with girly drinks and it’s turning him into a vegan, or a pussy, BIRM.
EmmJay needs a Meatsa.
I’ve got a trailer of dirt calling my name. A friend from work gave me a ton of stuff from his garden. I work at 4 so I have a few hours to spread dirt and plant.
Speaking of pornographic or just outright horrific food photography, if you’ve never read James Lileks’ “Gallery of Regrettable Food” series you must. I recommend starting with Meat, Meat Meat!
http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html
That last picture ….? Why do we let MJ stay here?
Because his links are hilarious?
The last picture?
The second one is ban-worthy.
The cottage cheese link is the worst! Makes the last pic look “OK” in comparison.
I think Rosetta did this one.
*nods*
What he said.
This is unreal.
Zoom in
http://www.gigapixel.com/mobile/?id=79995
I just barfed a little of my cottage cheese back up.
It landed on Miss BBF’s thighs.
Zoom in
http://www.gigapixel.com/mobile/?id=79995
O.M.G!!
She has spinach in her teeth!
[…] It’s BBF @H2. […]
EmmJay needs a Meatsa.
I don’t wanna kill the li’l fella. But yes, a healthy human male should have no trouble plowing through a few slices of meatzza.
Dave
I agree: James Lileks is a great writer
Plus, his dad worked on my truck in Fargo
Eleventy!
One of the powerlifting bloggers I follow just posted a vid of his 400# reverse-grip bench press. In a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.
Taking failure in stride: http://i.minus.com/ibnZks4pzopiDk.gif
Leon
I used to be a varsity athlete, and I powerlifted and did some competitive weightlifting, , but I’ve since discovered the wonders of lazy flabbiness
TJ, do you have a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt? You may want to consider such an investment.
I spent most of my life in lazy flabbiness. Never again.
Today I’m thankful that scatch and sniff has not been invented for teh Tittyweb Jenkins yet. I’m guessing she smells like a Route 66 era hotel room mixed with a more moderen era superlubricant.
And shrimp.
Thanks, PG, now you’ve gone and ruined shrimp for me.
Leon
I decided, after I blew out an elbow at a Southwest Conference track meet, to reevaluate my athletic regime.
I was lifting way too much weight for my 190 pound frame
I just walk now and do calisthenics
No knee or hip replacements yet, like almost 100 per cent of my old teammates who lifted, jogged or ran.
You’ve ruined superlubricants for me.
PG
What do you have against shrimp on the Barbie?
I don’t compete, TJew. If I start to feel anything get creaky, I back off for a week. I’m in for the long haul.
And I never run, that shit will kill your joints.
You’ve ruined seedy RT66 roadside motels for me now.
Y’all are just lucky that I didn’t throw in Resolve carpet shampoo and cat urine.
Leon
That’s good to hear
Competitive lifting can get scary
I once lost control of a bar during a snatch at a regional meet and damn near got killed
I know that some people here are joggers, but do you ever see people jog after 20 years? That’s because the orthopedists are taking apart their hips and knees. If you can’t compete at a college level then you’re no athlete.
I love Shrimp. I love Barbie. I’m not sure that they’re a chocolate/peanutbutter level of combo though.
One of the nurses who works at my hospital just came up to me to say “Hi”. She was accompanied by her tall blond college student daughter who chose to wear yoga pants today. I kept hearing a voice in my head telling me this was somehow a test or I was on candid camera. Safer to click on The Captives link.
You know that party that trashed the house of the footballer? Only four showed up to help clean. The rest are now getting arrested.
http://tinyurl.com/q5ubxks
What about shrimp on Barbie?
First, I’d like to thank you for your adoration and accolades, but with such a fine specimen as Ms Scott, one doesn’t need much.
Her thighs and legs are magnificently gourmand.
Your model isn’t hideous for being 50ish, MJ.
…accompanied by her tall blond college student daughter who chose to wear yoga pants today.
So did you pass the test?
YOU LIE!
She is a beautiful and unique snowflake like all of Gen Y.
http://is.gd/CLSylM
You need a week or so off the bewbs, MJ?
I know moving can be stressful.
I’m not moving for a few months, yet.
Your attempts to force a “good looking” woman upon us is quite obvious.
Her thighs and legs are magnificently gourmand.
I would assert that they are insufficiently robust for their size. I could be much more forgiving of the size had they even a modicum of muscularity.
Also, sharp elbows.
PG
Not the most attractive bewb model this week, however after six beers and a blue pill, it would be redolent of honeysuckle and roses
If by passed the test, you mean Did I get caught staring openly and lewdly at her daughter’s camel toe?, then, yes I passed.
Are you sure it wasn’t moose knuckle?
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/sep/27/senate-defeats-cruz-filibuster-clears-way-obamacar/
Are you sure it wasn’t moose knuckle?
The nursemom probably has that. Give the daughter 10 years and enough pastries and she’ll get there.
She was more MMM than BBF although we are in Maine where moose knuckle exceeds camel toe by a significant margin. I’d need to look long and hard before deciding.
know that some people here are joggers, but do you ever see people jog after 20 years?
Haters.
I’ve been jogging since I was 15. Sure, my hips and knees hurt, until I started doing minimal 4 years ago. now, no pain at all.
Lift. Run. Jog. Cycle. Bike. walk. Stretch. It’s all good.
BTW, I’m 45. So I’ve got 30 years of running in. And I’d say I’m in better shape (joint-wise, etc) than about 75 % of the people I meet/know.
We’ve had landscapers over the past few days and had the front and side of the house worked on as well as new steps installed. The old steps were hollow formed concrete and a groundhog had made a burrow under which caused them to shift. They did a great job and when I get the bill I’ll ask them if they want to tackle some other projects around the yard. The odds of me ever getting around to doing them in a timely fashion is pretty slim.
I just got done doing some landscaping myself. SYWM. I was planting, making a hill, re-arranging.
Unless you’ve had an old injury to your knee, are genetically predisposed to osteoarthritis or are a fatty, running is not likely to lead to DJD. By keeping a normal weight, cross training and not ignoring pain you’ll be running at your own pace till your kids put you in the nursing home.
I’ve been trying to work from home but I just lost about 2 hours worth of work because of a shitty VPN and autoCAD being a bitch about un-reconciled layers.
Looks like I’m working this weekend again. I think I’ll just treat the rest of the day as a day off.
I’d have to lose muscle/become a wussy to be at a “normal weight”, so I stand by my decision on running.
I just got done doing some landscaping myself. SYWM. I was planting, making a hill, re-arranging.
—————————
musical Hair opens
Well, one Iowa Senator voted No on cloture. The other one would vote for it no matter what.
Congrats Sen. Grassley. I don’t have to vote against you.
WTF is up in Nebraska? Only Utah is more red, and Johanns votes for cloture? New girl in town Fischer voted against.
I biked about 25 miles this morning. Saw a pretty bad accident.
Older guy collided with someone and cracked his head open. There was a puddle of blood about three times the size of his head. He was making noises that suggested he wasn’t entirely conscious.
Park ranger was there with a group of riders and an ambulance was on the way.
I’m too muscly (and slow) to be a competitive running. I’ll admit that competitive runners don’t look good/healthy/strong. But neither – imho – do competitive weight-lifters.
I stand by what I said before
There are better ways to maintain health than distance jogging
You don’t know how genetically you are predisposed to joint issues until you actually find out
If you’re a skinny person with little bone stress, then I suppose it would be fine
That’s what makes me nervous about biking, EmmJay. I have no where good to ride, and an accident isn’t going to look good.
Car in, she’s a super-heavyweight anomaly, even in the women’s weightlifting world. Most female oly lifters are teh hawt.
Competitive weightlifters in the light and middle weights are very healthy
I competed at 181 to the 198 ranges and no one had an ounce of fat
The Superheavyweights, however are huge and fat
There are better ways to maintain health than distance jogging
Maintaining health is better than NOT maintaining health, and everyone enjoys different methods. People who enjoy running (as I do – although let’s be honest – I cross train – I try to do ONE long run, and two shorter runs a week – but in the winter I can get down to one run a week) are going to be healthier than someone who enjoys watching tv.
I enjoy the challenge. Long runs are a challenge. Crossfit – currently – is a challenge. I like to work out REALLY hard. *shrugs
Some workouts are ineffectual; but if people enjoy it, what do I care?
Most female oly lifters are teh hawt.
Shrugs. Most Olympic (male and female) athletes are pretty hot.
That’s what makes me nervous about biking, EmmJay. I have no where good to ride, and an accident isn’t going to look good.
———————–
And this was a designated 10 mile bike/run/rollerblade trail. I won’t ride in traffic anymore because of the danger. Every year bikers are killed on Bayshore drive, in the bike lane. I prefer to live, thanks.
I competed at 181 to the 198 ranges and no one had an ounce of fat
This is the other reason I don’t want to compete. I’m just shy of 181 and I’m about 11-13% bf, which feels pretty healthy. I’d have to drop to 18# just to get into a weight class I could even compete at with my crappy lifts, and the deprivation I’d have to go through to get there would be hell.
I’ve got no problem with any exercising y’all want to do, but for you bikers, I only ask that you not be dicks about it. Around here at least 50% of the bikers do not attempt to get out of the way of cars, most don’t even move over toward the curb and make the cars pass in the opposing lane.
I hate that shit. We’ve got bikers right here in my town who ride on the streets right next to an improved bike path for some reason.
Cross cheese.
Oh good – I didn’t miss the workout talk!! Hooray!!!
*tosses the lime, blows the salt off my hand, downs the shot*
How many reps should I do?
Bikers can be massive assholes. I guess it’s a status thing for a lot of them.
They get squished just the same, and I pass them in races just like everyone else.
Pupster, the cyclists in Ann Arbor were equally awful. About once a month they’d do a mass ride at rush hour to make some sort of anti-point about how they had a right to share the road by depriving you of the ability to use it.
Hahahahahahaha.
Do as many as it takes for our model to look cute.
Cross-shots!!!!!!
CYN IS GOING TO GET ALCOHOL POISONING.
How many reps should I do?
Do I look handsome yet?
Do another rep.
Cross-drink WOD:
1 shot, run to the corner and back as fast as you can, then 5 pushups. Repeat for 20 minutes or until you pass out.
Cross-shots!!!!!!
Wooooo Hoooooo!
>> Unless you’ve had an old injury to your knee, are genetically predisposed to osteoarthritis or are a fatty, running is not likely to lead to DJD.
Now you tell me.
Cross-drink WOD:
Puking voids the rep and you have to start over.
Leon
Just compete in whatever class you’re comfortable in
Find some local masters competitions
Just enjoy yourself
Puking voids the rep and you have to start over.
Well of course. Just pace yourself. You’ll do fine.
Militant bikers?
I hate Militant bikers.
Dave
That’s what happened to my wife
She was a sprint champion and jogged for many years with no problems
She’s going on her fifth operation
Our daughter has her speed and jumps like a kangaroo (she competed in the national hunior olympics for the long jump) but I won’t let her compete in the triple jump because of the injuries that event produces
One of the reasons I like to ride alone is that many bikers are snobs.
“This bike has carbon fiber brake pads that are only 72 grams. My total bike is 16 lbs.”
Really?
“Mine is 17 lbs and I didn’t eat too much this week. You paid $5K for an extra slice of pizza.”
*wonders if HS does shots of Chardonnay
I want a BMX fixed-gear bike just to tool around on like I did when I was 12. Hard as hell to find one anymore, though. It’s all recumbents and crossover carbon-fiber mountain hybrids with grip-shifters.
Relevant: http://www.refinery29.com/2013/09/52773/keto-diet-reddit
BBF “girl” needs a higher-bacon diet.
I think I’ve found MJ’s next favorite gif.
Consider this a preemptive strike.
*wonders if HS does shots of Chardonnay
Chardonnay? No.
Mount Gay? Most certainly.
HAHAHAHA! Dear Reegis, Pups, that is fuckingawesome.
Consider this a preemptive strike.
*chokes Pupster unconscious and draws dicks on his face with a Sharpie*
Consider that a reactive strike.
The last paragraph in Leon’s article seems kind of misleading.
*medic*
Pups,
Bike paths are full of glass and things that will pop those ultra light weight $100 tires. That makes them push their designer carbon fiber 2 wheeler home while wearing those uncomfortable shoes with the bolts in them that are hard to walk on.
Yeah, that last para is hooey. The photo-morph is sweet, though.
I think I’ve found MJ’s next favorite gif.
———————–
It’s….amazing. I love it.
Wow, Scoot’s gigapixel link is creepy.
I do better when I exercise, even though I don’t enjoy it. Haven’t been injured. Now horse wrecks and construction….
All time award winning gif, Pups. I wish I was a computer genius so I could put that as a permanent screen background on friend’s computers.
Chardonnay? No.
Mount Gay? Most certainly.
———————-
Good quality humor, right there.
Laura?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Ky1cyTuzk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Ky1cyTuzk
Madness!!!11!
JTFC: President Douchecockballs came out and could hardly contain his smirk.
I hate that smirk.
I miss the good old days when Zeus would punish hubris.
Blah Blah Blah Republicans Blah Blah Lecture Blah Blah
*a man smirks haughtily*
“You there, cyclops, hand me the #4”
*THUNDERBOLT*
Zeus’s thunderbolt killed it.
I miss the good old days when Zeus would punish hubris.
This.
Penis size and hubris are negatively correlated.
Just sayin’.
Howdy everyone. The gal at the top may not be the skinniest or the prettiest, but she looks like she could warm a bed right up, so I’m not going to complain.
Penis size and hubris are negatively correlated.
It’s true. I’ve got pretty much no hubris.
It’s true. I’ve got pretty much no hubris.
Orly?!
JennyB is now JennyT.
So what’s everyone doing tonight?
JennyB is now JennyT.
She went thru with it huh?
Kidding of course: good for the two of them.
It’s a late worky night for me, MJ. Hows about you?
Probably going to the gym and then blues dancing.
MJ? NSFW or at all for that matter.
GAAAAAAH!
Cleansing pics after Pepe’s assault to our senses and sensibilities…
Off to get the boys from school since that whore Mare isn’t around. M’wah!
That takes the term “tramp stamp” to a completely new level
http://tumblr.4gifs.com/post/62005842012/elevator-stomach-sucked-in
Good day, reachers of around.
So what’s everyone doing tonight?
Eucharistic processional.
Afternoon.
So what’s everyone doing tonight?
Selling golf balls and driving around in a van, solving mysteries. But mostly selling golf balls.
Today I built four (4) of these:
http://tinyurl.com/kqm9bnp
MJ. Hows about you?
——————————
Nothing very interesting.
MJ? NSFW or at all for that matter.
——————
Ahh. The roast beef sandwich tattoo. Must be an Arby’s enthusiast.
I bet that tat looks gross if you spill some Horsey Sauce on it.
Grosser, I mean.
What about tartar sauce?
Horsey sauce…
Arby’s to go and Sriracha when you get home.
Kinda puts a whole new spin on this gag, huh?
Arby’s sauce, Horsey sauce, Ketchup?
I used to like Arby’s. Then, they got stingy with their sammiches. Beasn got me addicted to White Castle with horseradish. I add Sriracha on my own. Mmmm…
I put Sriracha in my ketchup. Tater Tots and Sriracha infused ketchup is yumm. Ketchup? Catsup?
My brother does the same thing with his tater tots, oso. And it’s Ketchup.
Mr Burns and I thank you, Sean. Your brother is obviously a good guy with a discerning palate.
Leon?
Did anybody get a whiff of brimstone when anybody else entered a room today?
>>>So what’s everyone doing tonight?
Working the board at the radio station for the local HS football broadcast.
This radio shit is fucking cool.
I wish! Brimstone would be luxury! I’ve got vegan wiener dogs!
Old. Still funny.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers
Wiser, years ago at North Texas State I was working the board in the studio for the remote from the game (these boards were 20 years old 30 years ago, so not high tech, but pure radio). NTSU was getting pummeled by UT in a downpour. It got so ugly that me and the other guy working the remote decided to play “Flight of the Valkyrie” under the play by play guy and the color guy.
It was the funniest shit ever. Every time they’d call a play we’d turn it up. We got away with this for about 8 minutes until the station manager called in with a cease and desist order.
We were laughing so hard it was hard for him to get a word in on the phone.. I remember something about “TURN THAT FUCKING MUSIC OFF”. We got “counseled” later that week.
But it was my favoritest radio moment ever.
Then I found $20.
This game is a blowout too.
I was just thinking about putting on some Pat Greene instead of the game, except we don’t have any here.
Soundtrack from Lord of the Rings, the battle scene from the Twin Towers.
Except you mix it in with the commentary, not instead of. It’s dramatical and shit.
If you can’t find Pat Greene, Bob Wills is accepted. See also Waylon.
>>>Soundtrack from Lord of the Rings, the battle scene from the Twin Towers.
I’ll remember that for next week.
Also known as “my last night ever working in radio.”
Cool picture
Backstory:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2013/09/25/going_up_going_down_skydiving_into_a_rocket_launch.html
(from instapundit)
I’m not sayin it went over well. I’m sayin it was funny.
Good Lord. Undercover boss was at Twin Peaks. Dan is Mr Breastaurant. If we had a Tilted Kilt he’d be there. Until then, he’s stuck with Hooters, Twin Peaks, and Ojos Locos.
You have to make your own fun.
She’s dead. Wrapped in plastic.
Work day done yay! Debriefing and beveraging time.
That was fun. A lot like what Car in described for the first wedding she attended and reception kicked ass.
Smoked pulled pork, smoked chicken, corn bread, tater salad, slaw and pies!
Apparently these days when the invite says “casual comfortable attire” you wear a suit. I was the only one in jeans, everyone else was jealous.
Hi Cyn!!!
Scott, you are the only one that understood Casual Comfortable Attire. Glad you had a good time.
HI Oso!!!
She’s right, Scott; you dressed correctly. Everyone else failed. The reception is the best part. Next time I get married, we’re skipping the wedding and going straight to partytown.
…But I can’t believe that you’re home already.
Next time I get married, I’m having a $ dance and a hat dance. I need to embrace the culture.
Culture-Schmulture. Just marry for money.
I already have guys I knew when I was 12, lining up to marry me when Dan kicks it. Awkward.
I thought “casual comfortable” meant no pants. Live and learn.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/0r5ikjA
http://imgur.com/gallery/dRCCK
Pups, I resemble that remark!!!
We were there for 4 1/2 hours and the round trip drive was 3 hours.
Plus we both work tomorrow morning.
There are several .gifs at the link I posted, only one comes up with the highlighter.
Glad you and Lauraw were able to work RL into your 0Bama jobs.
Next time I think I wanna get married, I’m gonna find some woman I hate and buy her a house.
— Ron White
HA! I always loved Ron White talking about his wife. Funny shit. Probably all true too.
Buy me a house on Kaua’i. Next time, I’m marrying for money.
I’d like to get married someday. I just don’t want to do any of the legwork.
Can you get a double-wide on Kaua’i? Asking for a friend.
Probably in Lihue. I’m OK with that. I don’t need Princeville or Poipu.
G’night cool kids; touring two college engineering campuses (campi??) tomorrow.
touring two college engineering campuses (campi??) tomorrow.
Woot!
Rocketboy got his acceptance letter for Rolla. I’m pleased, of course, though that would have sucked pretty bad for them to have worked so hard to recruit him then turn around and tell him no.
Night Cyn!
http://tinyurl.com/mjelzxq
Oops, sorry…night night.
Cyn and Roamy rock!
Trying to relearn how to fly Microsoft Flight Sim after many months, and hours of fiddlin’ with the controls.
Probably harder than flying the real thing.
Congrats to Rocketboy!
Oh man.. moms gettin ready for sons to go to colleges.
*flashback, 2004. Austin. Longest one hour drive home with a mom ever.
My folks had a going-away party when I moved out.
After I left.
I wasn’t invited.
My mom wouldn’t leave. She was certain that I needed curtains for some reason.
That was the worst day ever,
My parents converted my room to a guest room the minute I left. First Christmas home was awkward.
Kauai sucks
Honolulu is the bomb
kicks Vman in the testes. Kaua’i is the best. Honolulu is too crowded.
My parents converted my room to a
guestsewing room the minute I left. First Christmas home was awkward. No bed.FIFM.
Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.
Mom tossed probably a couple of $K worth of Star Trek stuff, too. I’d have made a mint on eBay.
My day tomorrow just turned into a thousand sucks. Ga.
One nice thing about flying on Alaska Airlines yesterday. They offer free beer and wine onboard.
I really need Mare here tomorrow. No joke. It’s time for her to man up.
At least they didn’t convert your room into a sex dungeon.
Not going to happen.
Roamy!!! Dan sold all of my Disney VHS at a garage sale. $5 a piece. He never even looked to see the upcharge value of the nasty stuff.
My dad drove me to (and from) college. It was his job. He said he used to feel like he was abandoning me in the middle of corn fields. The town wasn’t like that (Miami of Ohio) but it was surrounded by farmlands.
Scott, I use that line daily. Then I have to explain it. We are doomed.
I know, Scott, but I really need her. I have kids that need to be places. Plans all fell apart.
She needs to put up or shut up.
Car in, My Dad drove me to Miami of Ohio for JCL. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life. Got a 4th and a 5th. Too afraid to accept scholarships.
Mr car in asked me if Mare was going to show up at the IB event. I told him I just didn’t know.
Purdue was in the middle of cornfields.
* crickets *
JCL? It was a loverly school. We’re a “Miami Merger.”
I should say, “is”. It’s not like it moved since July.
Yea, lots of schools are in the middle of nowhere. I thought it was nice. No big cities to bring danger. Protected.
Scott, I just hope MJ is preparing himself for the let-down. I think he’s really looking forward to MEETING Mare in Texas.
Poor little fella.
I drove myself with all my worldly possessions, which all fit into a 65 Chrysler, 140 miles to a roach motel apt which was my NEW HOME. At 17.
Georgia Tech is in the middle of Atlanta, and I won’t let my kids go there.
Junior Classical League. I was a Latin and Greek nerd. U of M of OH is known for the classics.
Yea … Atlanta is sketchy
My bedroom is still there, but with better furniture, and Mom would love to have me back any time.
I’m just sayin’. Your mothers all stink on ice. I mean that in the very nicest way possible.
Not trying to be offensive. Simply stating facts. Being as diplomatic as one can be. Your mom sucks. But only in a.) the sense of reality which is utterly objective and b.) is based in a direct one-to-one comparison with my c.) totally objectively and crushingly superior mother.
Time to rest now. I plan on doing it smugly. Goodnight, Hostages. Sorry about your mom.
I am hiring a Mare.
Oh hai. Y’all are still hanging around here then?
She will be there.
*cries
It’s not going to be a tucker, is it?
Because, that would be hilarious.
***cries harder, because yes we’re still hanging around here.
Salve, Oso!
Lauraw, sucks!!! I have keys to my Mom’s house. I need to beat my bro there to get baseball cards and baseballs.
Lauraw is mean, Oso. We just accept her, though.
Because if we didn’t, she’s probably skin us alive and laugh as she fed us, bit by bit, to her monkeys.
TJ, I got first place in TX in several JCL competitions. It was unheard of for public schools. I beat out Jesuit and Ursaline.
We can hire a tranny to play the part. Michael can help point us in the right direction.
Lauraw is looking at bulbs. New life in Spring. I don’t fall for it.
*pats Car in* It’s okay, at least you’ve done things previously – I’m only 24 and I’ve already sunk this low.
We should use that as a threat.
I’m sure, though, that Mare-daughters will be unexpectedly visiting during the meet-up weekend. I’m onto her.
Are you in OK Revvy?
Osita, thats amazing.,
Texas high schools are dying for Latin teachers
I recently decided to learn Latin myself and am taking it for credit and for grins through the University of Wisconsin online
Not like I have any fricking free time these days..
ar in* It’s okay, at least you’ve done things previously – I’m only 24 and I’ve already sunk this low
you’re right! thanks.
I think it may be time for bed. I have a full day of suck tomorrow.
Mare drove right by my house once. Didn’t even slow down to toss any trash out on my lawn.
Not yet Scott – the Viking will be here on the 13th, and then we’ll prolly be off on the 16th or 17th.
SPRING AWAKENING.
Jazz did that once, Sean. And Chief is regularly w/in throwing distance and just blows us off.
I really hope Mare shows up. She has no clue what she is missing.
TJ, it really helped my SAT scores. Too bad I dropped out. I’m glad that I knew Tacitus. And my Gallic Wars. Etc. I feel sorry for kids tha
t don’t get a classical education.
MCPO is in Michigan.
Good night dorks. I have to rest up for my Obamajob.
My extremist Obamajob.
Obamajob sounds like a lot more fun than it is.
G’night Scott. Keep poking that Obamajob.
Oso
Yes, I agree 100 percent, and. as we often say on Big Boob Fridays:
Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres
I’m guessing Mare is actually one of the following:
1. Some Nigerian guy running a long con on us
B. A computer program
¢. Keyser Soze
♦ One of the people wiser banned, planning an elaborate revenge
Big Blue Boob Vein Friday.
Oh, and dorks is an affectionate term.
Dorks.
Out.
Urgh… somebody clean my room for me.
Or just help me build a bonfire of all the shit in it that I don’t need.
we are dweebs. heartache to heartache
TJ took Latin 101.
Oso
You hit it on the head
You never know when all those old Tower Records magazines might be worth something, Revvs.
(Okay, so that might be more of an issue of mine.)
All I have in my room is a lot of books and a lot of old art supplies that are probably past their usefulness anyway.
And trash. Lots of that.
When and where is the Meat up?
Couple of comments as I read the thread:
TJ: I had 4 yrs of HS Latin. It did help me learn Russian later in life.
Xbrad: polish up your flying skills. One of our Captains had a heart attack yesterday and the plane had to make an emergency landing in Boise. Sadly, he passed away.
Roamie: Thumbs up for Rolla! You will be passing by my house before you cross the river into StL. Be nice and I will let you stop and use the bathroom.
My younger daughter now says she wants to go into Mortuary Science. No idea where that came from, but SIU does have a good school for it.
Eldest phatspawn won all three of her HS tennis matches today (2 singles and 1 doubles). I think she’s finally starting to get a bit of a killer instinct. Tournament continues tomorrow.
Sean, you left a ball by the 300 yd marker. That would be my last drive.
phat
I took Russian and German in college, four semesters each.
Personally, I liked German a lot more than Russian.
Russian was tough, with the Cyrillic alphabet.
German is a far more organized language and that appealed to me..
Phat, I saw that. Sad story.
And I rode in a CRJ700 yesterday, and looking into the cockpit, my thought was “it looks exactly like Flight Sim!”
My only challenge in flight sim these days is my fucking controls have been fuxxor’ed totally. Hard over right rudder, all the time. I’m good, but I’m not that good.
My sister studied Russian and German as part of her music degree, and later her linguistics degree. Didn’t do a damn thing with them. We kept trying to tell her, “K, why don’t you rent some Russian language movies and build up your confidence and try to get an interpreter position.” She is great with languages, but damned if she can be convinced to do the right thing.
TJ,
I minored in Russian at the Air Force Academy. My degree was in Soviet Studies.
I had planned to go into Intel, but a shortage of pilots in the late ’80’s made them waive the vision standards and I snuck in to flight school with 20/50 vision.
Funny thing is that a few years into my flying career I got a call to move to DC and be a ‘Soviet Flight Escort’. Basically we flew in the cockpit whenever a Russian (or former Soviet Republic) diplomatic or military aircraft was in US airspace.
I did it for 3 years and that job was all kind of messed up. Spent about 3 weeks a month on the road, about 1 week/month in Russia. Lots of awesome stories.
Xbrad has asked me to start writing them down and blogging them. I’ll get to it this fall.
Here’s an old article about my old job:
http://tinyurl.com/kppcdpw
Disclaimer: I think the guy quoted in the article is a Nav. Never met the guy and he must have showed up at the Academy after I graduated. Don’t remember meeting him. Also never flew an escort trip with him (when possible we went in pairs).
The name of the unit was ‘Constant Shotgun’. Our patch was epic. Will post as a header this weekend.
phat
Looking forward to your amazing stories
Had a girlfriend from Krasnodar years ago right at the end of the Soviet era who’d visit me here and we’d travel together overseas. She was a petroleum geologist like me.
That is an amazing area
TJ,
Your screen name makes me laugh because my first serious girlfriend was the only Jewish girl in Grapevine, TX!
It’s fall. Start writin’. I’ll send you the keys soon!
For those interested in honing your Russian I strongly recommend ‘White Sun of the Desert.’
http://tinyurl.com/qjjab3
It’s hard to correlate this to an equivalent US movie. Maybe the Godfather mixed with Caddyshack?
When people ask me about what it’s like working with Russians I always tell them to watch this movie. The ‘Daywatch’ Sci-Fi movie is good (books are even better), but White Sun will always be my favorite.
You know how we always quote Animal House/Caddyshack/Fletch lines?
Russians do that with ‘White Sun’.
Boobs!
I’m not trying to say
I’ll have it all my way
I’m always willing to derp
When you’ve got something to teach
Good night Sean!
Off to bed.
G’night, phat. You can retrieve your ball tomorrow.
Gimme a couple of minutes, and I’ll have a new poat up.
Good morning, cool kids.
You get the poat, I’ll start coffee
Good morning, children.
Good morning girl.
New poat!