2017 BBF Championships – Contestant #3

Contestant #3 – Nigella Lawson

Pupster’s note:  We have four semi-finalists for 2017, I will repeat poat for 4 weeks and then we’ll have a final poll to determine Miss Big Boob Friday 2017.  

From May 5th, 2017:

 

Hello hair-pullers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Did you know this is Rob Schneider’s daughter?  He must be very proud.

Your model is a food writer, journalist and broadcaster known for her popular cooking and lifestyle shows on British television.  She was born January 6th, 1960 into the upper class family of Nigel Lawson (now Baron Lawson of Blaby) a Conservative politician who was Chancellor of the Exchequer under Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet.  She stands 5’7″ tall, sports some 32G sized jumper pads and weighs in around 10.5 stone. Please stop trying to be someone else and say hello to Ms. Nigella Lawson.

140 Comments

  1. https://is.gd/Ili7lu

  2. My ranking so far

    1. Aussie model
    2. Busty chef
    3. Teutonic Titster

  3. I should go shovel some more.

  4. Oh wait, I have an 830 meeting on my day off, nevermind.

  5. At doc with ethan. He’s hoping he can lose the brace today.

  6. Nigella is one of those ladies for whom being overweight doesn’t hurt her appeal. Because those eyes!

    I need to work up a big list of stuff to do today, to take my mind away. Starting to get depressed again. Nobody is looking at my many resumes that are out there in the world. Or rather, they have, and rejected them. Sad.

  7. Shit’s about to get real around here. Paula laid down the law about the vaping thing. Of course it fell on deaf ears. She confiscated the machine and juice. Yesterday after school he spent $209 at a store* called “Vapology”. Huh, wonder what they sell there?

    (*when he set up his account Paula was on it due to his age. He could opt out at his current age but she hasn’t mentioned that to him for obvious reasons)

    On Sunday his car is going buh bye. Why Sunday? He works Friday and Saturday and we’re sure part of his lashing out will be telling her he’s quitting. She thought buying a car and making him pay the insurance would give him a sense of responsibility. Has. Not. Happened. If anything it’s given him the freedom to hang around with the lowlife losers he tends to find.

    Car will go to her parents house and if/when he gets his HS diploma she’ll sell it to him for twenty dollars.

  8. FFS, all he has to do is wake up and go to school for a few hours for the next 3 months or so and get a diploma. Apparently that’s asking too much.

  9. I was wondering how your job search was going Laura. Things are a little up in the air with my partner leaving in a bit. A 3 month notice is required to voluntarily leave under good terms and he gave it in December. That leaves me solo and vulnerable to administration deciding they no longer want to support the program. We are a money loser despite the unique services we provide because most of our patients are on the state insurance program. A few meetings are planned and I’m dreading them.

  10. Workie workie

  11. I know how the dread thing feels, man. Good luck to you. I know you will land on your feet, good doctors are needed everywhere.

  12. As are good nurses, it’s a “when and where” not an “if”.

  13. ugh, makes me thankful for employment, and less likely to go elsewhere.

  14. Speaking of riding the cock carousel…

  15. Nigella Lawson is super yummy.

  16. Always bring a gun to a puppet fight.

  17. laura – my wife needs 2 nurses right now.
    if you wanna move to the sunny southern tier youll get all the hours you want, shitty/bitchy screaming harpy docs to work for and a paycheck.
    mrs jam is interviewing for a different job – so with a couple of months on you’ll be able to slide into the lead position no prob

  18. good luck j-bro

  19. Jimbro, sorry to hear that the boy is an idiot. Hopefully he’ll grow out of it soon. Is he planning to move out after HS, or does he expect to just keep living with you and Paula?

  20. Nigella is fun to watch, the woman loves food. I mean that in a salacious way. ;)

  21. I suspect that part of the “looks good a little chubby” is that she gets a lot of good fat in her diet and it lets her skin be as good as it is. All that elastic stuff that makes skin be perky and taut is based on fat metabolism. Visually, a chubby woman with good skin and healthy fascia is going to look a lot better than the same-weight woman with sag everywhere.

  22. Good luck with the job, Jimbro, and the family drama. Amazing now kids don’t think things through with credit cards and bank accounts.

  23. Everybody fucking vapes in high school. A friend just told me her son – he’s maybe a freshman- is having issues with a team mate from the basket ball team who is vaping.

  24. I’m actually curious what the kid is actually vaping.

    If it’s not a drug, he’s working, behaving well there, becoming more adult, and he’s otherwise keeping his nose clean…I mean, I don’t know. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Obviously I don’t have kids, so, grain of salt.

    Is there a non-drug form of vaping?

  25. And she can cook!! She gets my vote!

    But she has crap taste in men…Daddy issues!!

  26. …and yes nicotine is a drug, of course.

  27. Everything looks good with Ethan’s knee. Doc is leaning toward 9 months before he can return to soccer – which will mean he would miss a third season :( But we’ll see. he’s going to do an x-ray every month – he can see the bone healing up , and the shadow of the the acl.

  28. Her boobs are the poster girls for the term sweater puppies!

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  29. Hannah vapes. As does Ian. I think it’s gross. I don’t think either of them uses juice with nicotine .

    But hannah is on an academic scholarship and getting good grades. Ian is a grown assed man.

    Luckily, Erin isn’t into any of that stuff – drinking, smoking, vaping. I think she’s tried a drink here and there, but not much. Her friends all do … all of it, she’s just not into it. I think she’d be happier if she figured out that she could actually date a guy who didn’t smoke pot and it may work better.

  30. Eating window opening up in a bit … can’t wait.

  31. The backlash for Jimbro’s household will be ugly on Sunday I fear. Good luck.

    Yes Car in – I learned the other night that there are nicotine-free vape juices (when this first came up). I don’t see the purpose, but, whatever floats your boat. Flavor and cool factor I guess.

    Nigella is nice enough, but she’s no Giada.

  32. Nigella would whip Giada’s ass.

  33. Oops. I meant Laura. Sorry – still tired. This 4 hours of sleep crap is killing me.

  34. Off to renew my licence and registration and mail SS present.

  35. Nigella would whip Giada’s ass.

    Will this match be on the Food Network or Pay Per View? Asking for a friend.

  36. If it doesn’t have Nicotine (addictive) why is it a big deal? If my husband didn’t think I’d lost my mind I’d vape instead of snack…you know (WHORES, SHUT IT) , satisfy the oral fixation.

  37. Will this match be on the Food Network or Pay Per View? Asking for a friend.

    Private. They’d be making a Nigella-Giada sammich with me as the meat.

  38. Jimbro, sorry about the kid being dumb and sassy.

    Kids, alternately awesome and dumbass.

  39. I am #24. They are on 15. Gonna be a while.

  40. I know people who vape marijuana. They like it because there’s no smell and they can get/stay high in public.

  41. Nigella would whip Giada’s ass.

    I’d take some of that action. Queensbury Rules?

  42. Private. They’d be making a Nigella-Giada sammich with me as the meat.

    *cancels cable*

  43. I’d take some of that action. Queensbury Rules?

    Wet towels at two paces.

  44. I vape weed. Not that often, maybe once a week on the weekend, sometimes not at all.

    Smoking the shit makes me cough like I’m a two-pack-a-dayer. Vaping doesn’t make me cough.

  45. I have a buddy that does that, Pepe. Onltly he vapes something they call ‘Dab.’
    Best I can tell is that it’s the modern day equivalent of hash oil. A cross between a wax and a paste.

  46. I wish I could keep you guys current on Lapeer Creek, but things are just cray cray. NB and one of erin’s wrote and put on the internet a ‘rap’ song that is the foulest, meanest thing I’ve ever heard.

    Gee Erin- do you believe me NOW that perhaps the guys you find boyfriend material are assholes?

    Generally she’s working too much to have many suitors around. Win/win.

  47. Which horse is most likely to “Go to Jared”? Dark Horse could set himself apart.

  48. I’ve got my hopes set on Dark Horse. He may need to be patient. So far so good. She insists they’re just friends.

  49. A rap song. Because living in rural Michigan makes you hardcore.

  50. I know, Coalex. I told Erin’s I’d take those two boys to Detroit if they really want to get their muse on.

  51. Hiding out in the cornfield with my homies.

    #straightouttalapeer

  52. LOL.

    But it was horrible. Gross sexual stuff, and making claims about particular girls and what they’ve done.

  53. It’s the nicotine form. Pretty sure he’s dabbled with the weed, at least once that he admitted to. You guys need to understand that he’s tested close to the functionally retarded level at a few points of a comprehensive neuropsych evaluation. He is unable to make good decisions at baseline. Hanging out with losers will hasten his decline. At the age of 19 he is at the emotional level of a 12-13 year old. Yet he looks like a normal, handsome athletic young man. Vaping nicotine will surely lead to smoking cigarettes for him. Paula said “Don’t vape in the house. What you do outside here I can’t control.” Less than 24 hours later vaping in the house. He now hangs around with dirtbags rather than his friends who like to play hoops. Even the hoop friends vape which speaks to its ubiquitous nature.

  54. Eh, I don’t think anyone’s trying to tell you guys what to do. They’re just throwing out what they know/their experience with it. You know how best to handle it, since you’re the only one HERE who knows him.

    Different folks, different rules.

    I KNOW Hannah smokes pot. I know it for a fact, we’ve talked about it. She has her shit together and it helps her with stress (she’s type A about things and can be a stress case to the point where she loses hair, etc).

    But Erin is a no-go. She doesn’t have her life together enough to let ANYTHING distract her.

    Different kids. Different approaches.

  55. I would much rather be upset about 1) the dirtbags, and that he doesn’t respect your 2) “no vaping” in the house rule.

  56. Jimbro, we understand.

  57. The hope is to have him move out and live in an apartment relatively close by where Paula can help keep an eye on him. His father lives less than 2 miles from here but he’s got his own issues (bipolar). If the apartment doesn’t work out he’ll live there. Paula is at her wit’s end with the boy. He is mouthy with any discussions about his behavior yet happily lives under our roof enjoying the largesse we provide. It’s breaking Paula’s heart to constantly be in a conflict with him. She lets so much slide that I’d never let him get away with. After having them under my roof for many years (I’ve lost track…3rd grade to senior year of HS) I see why she lets shit slide … he never learns. You would literally need to follow him around constantly to give directions. I know that sounds like an exaggeration but how many times do you need to find the fridge door or chest freezer left open overnight with ruined food, piss on the toilet seat, bread left open, peanut butter and jelly smeared on the counter, etc, etc etc.

  58. Wow.

  59. Even I keep my mouth shut and listen (mostly) about him. Paula is Mama Bear about her boys. She wants the best for them and it hurts her to know the inevitable future. We laugh a lot about it as a means of coping but it’s a tough situation. The hope is that he’ll get his shit together and figure out how to be an adult before he’s paying child support to a couple of baby mamas or has a record.

  60. Aw, I didn’t know that, Jimbro. That has to be so difficult to live with and see. I imagine you and Paula worry about his future quite a lot. I’m sorry. I hope he catches on and listens better as he matures.

  61. On a more uplifting note, Paula just showed me her new scrub pants after her shower. She showed up wearing just scrub pants (BBF:Maine!) and had me watch her left ass cheek which she can now flex the muscle in. This is new after surgery. Before her new hip those muscles were weak. Her incision is now healed to the point where I can smack her ass cheek without getting decked.

  62. Narrator: “…he’s still going to get decked”

  63. I’m reading that right now, Laura. Interesting.

  64. What? No pictures?

    tl;dr

  65. Cookie-bottomed cheesecake is finally in the oven.

  66. The last couple paragraphs are a subtly mocking kick in the ribs. We are decadent and in decline, period.

  67. He’s not wrong. We are dying as a nation because we’re balkanized by fractious politics. Historically, such situations are unrecoverable.

  68. China has a strong advantage in being uniformly Chinese, for all their faults. Basic tribal identity can hold them together when nothing else will. We had that once, but immigration and racial politics obliterated it.

  69. Well, the whole bit about this guy being one of the worst students in his class in China, but utterly smoking the UK and Americans when he traveled, is also troubling.

  70. DING DING. How do you maintain all the good things in a specific culture if you dilute it with overwhelming diversity?

    Surgery went well, still sore of course but Dr. said got all stones in left side (still have to deal with right side) and best of all NO STENT. So Im happy bout that.

    My employer fucked up a royally fucked up situation and failed to make payroll this week. I have troops on the warpath, the number 2 is signaling he’s done and I wonder how much longer the number one holds on till he decides to shut it down. bad bad day here in that regard. Sad thing, we have 700K in signed contracts that would provide us work through May.

    BUT FUCK IT! I dont have a stent in me and feel 100% better than I did. Xmas is around the corner, along with the new year. So new begininngs and all that good stuff. I normally dont do new years resolutions but I have a list for the year headed up by “Be a better MAN”.

  71. Anyone get their internetz taken away yet?

  72. Yeah, also frightening, but I saw that at UM when I started. Lots of valedictorians turned into C students in the tougher environment (I went from As to Bs). Then When I went to EMU for grad school I was suddenly an over-achieving A student.

  73. Good news on the stonez Troy

  74. Sous Vide is delivered. Now I just hope it’s not stolen by the time Mrs. Jay gets home.

  75. stupid porch pirates

  76. Unrelated to anything y’all are talking about, but has anyone ever had Bangladeshi food? I had a late lunch with an old friend today and tried it for the first time.
    Didn’t think I’d like it, but Fred was buying, so why not try it? That stuff was good!
    Shrimp Malikari (SP?), & Jhaal Beef with a terrific rice they call polao.
    Highly recommended of you have anyplace nearby to try it.

  77. When I went back to school for a while about a decade ago, I saw the same thing. College courses covering what I learned in high school, and recent graduates struggling with basics. (I also recognized the phrase “I don’t understand” was more likely a deliberate attempt to derail and dumb down the course to get an easy grade than a legit request for enlightenment.)

    Two years, 4.0 GPA, and to this day I still feel like I stole it.

    That, I think, is what confirmed to me that we are so. Fucking. Screwed.

  78. Wish they would put it in the gas grill, and close the lid.

  79. It probably doesn’t help I was going to ITT. Yeah, I think they may have deserved what happened to them.

  80. Sous vide machine is gonna give me some nice medium rare burgers shortly. Using this method: http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/08/the-food-lab-complete-guide-to-sous-vide-burger.html

    I only put a little salt on one side of each burger. Figure I’ll season them up before the sear with some of Meathead’s Big Bad Beef rub. I use that stuff on everything now. I just grind it fine, instead of coarse like he recommends.

  81. Good news on the stones Troy.

  82. Jay, have you read these?

    https://www.audiobooksnow.com/series/2635/

    I got one of the series on kindle as a daily deal but it’s unread at this point. I figure I’ll read one and make a decision whether to proceed before diving into the rest of the series.

  83. Forgot to mention that the books all have between 4 and 5 stars on amazon

  84. Thanks Pepe & Jimbro. I got this cool medication I havent had before. Its called phenazopyrid. Its a analgesic. You take the pill, it secretes into your urine in the kidney and numbs your urinary tract on its way out. I thought that was pretty cool, then again, Im fairly easy to amuse. Im soooo glad to have the stent out. I feel about a bazzilion times better. That was a long haul and it was fucking me up.

  85. I haven’t read those, thanks!

  86. glad you are feeling better, TT.

  87. Good to hear troy. That med sounds familiar…oh yeah. Azo. Hope they warned you about the side effect…

  88. Gracias Jay. Now if I can just stay employed long enough to find another job.

  89. Primary side effect = Uncontrollable urge to keep fucking that chicken

  90. More like pissing International Orange dye while you’re on it…

  91. Thanks Brother. Only side effect so far is the bright orange urine that will stain stuff. Compared to the other colors that have come out in the past week(s) ….. not a problem.

  92. @ Jimbro…… WELL THE CHICKEN WAS HOME! What else was I supposed to do?

    Old Joke….. “Leroy why’d you kill everyone in the house?” Leroy: “Deh wuz home.”

  93. Great news about your wiener, Troy!!

    Not so great about the job situation.

  94. Thanks Mare. It was yer Penis Prayers that did the proverbial trick

  95. Marco Rubio is a cunt. He is not a conservative by any reasonable definition.

  96. The orange should be the worst of it, as if that’s not bad enough…

  97. No doubt, Troy, no doubt!

    And Rubio is in fact a little puke.

  98. Rubio’s fake as a three dollar bill.

  99. In all possible ways.

  100. Mare turned a trick?

  101. On the whole, this has not been my worst birthday, but waiting for the cheesecake to cool is killing me.

  102. I would also like to congratulate Troy on evacuating his weenus.

  103. Happy Birthday, Leon!!

  104. *waves weenus at Leon

    Thanks bro

  105. Happy Birthday! Sorry you had to make your own cake!

    I got you this other cake.
    https://is.gd/CYKg5Z

  106. Leon!!! I’m so sorry I forgot you said (yesterday) today is your birthday!!

    Please ask your wife for sex from me!

    Happy Birthday!!

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  107. Ha! Lauraw! Leon does have a type.

  108. Congrats on not dying for another year, leon.

  109. Thanks everybody. I don’t mind making my own cake, I often do. It turned out pretty good, but now I have a huge amount of it and no appetite left.

    Laura’s cake would leave me really conflicted in my amygdala.

  110. You know what they say about people with conflicted amygdalas

  111. They have big feet?

  112. Amygdalas require a lot of mulch.

  113. Happy birthday, Leon!

    Glad the surgery went well, TTroy.

    Please ask your wife for sex from me!

    LOL

  114. https://is.gd/V3zKdC

  115. Jimbro is a showboating sumnambeech.

  116. Making us all look bad.

  117. Trying to figure out how to get some help for an FB friend. He’s been a little off since Thanksgiving, and now he’s posting as his recently deceased cat.

  118. Happy B’Day, Leon!

  119. Do you know where he lives, roamy? Maybe you could get in touch with the local authorities and ask them to do a welfare check on him. Or if you search his friends for people with the same last name, maybe you could find a relative and ask them through FB Messenger to call him. I did the latter once, and I got through to a couple of people who contacted the person in question.

  120. Anita & I were out at 0740 this morning, having a cuppa & a smoke on the walk between the house and detached garage when the elk showed-up.
    There were 30 of them(by Anitas count) and the Herd Bull noticed us watching them. He walked toward us to the point that he was between us and the herd, and faced us, like;
    “Come at me, Bro!”
    We became aware of his size(his haunches were at my eye-level), and how close he was, and how many steps we were from the man-door to the attached garage. Also how fast they can run. If he wanted to get us, we were totally fucked. He was about 40′ away.

    We didn’t get stomped, so it was totally cool, this time…

  121. I might have pooed a little in that situation, Crispy. A little.

  122. Okay, sisters are aware of the situation. None of them live close to him, but they know local friends. I’m going to back off and let family handle it, but they have the same concern I have.

  123. Hopefully he gets some help. At the very least, someone who can talk to him.

  124. Glad to hear it, Roamy!

    Waiting on a couple more items to arrive, but basically I have all of our presents wrapped and sorted into boxes so that we can have an easier time loading up the car next week before heading out to Paul’s mother’s house.

    We haven’t had Christmas at our house since we got married; Paul’s family are all in SW Texas, so he doesn’t get to see all of his siblings all at one time except at Christmas.

  125. Hope you all have a nice trip to the MiL’s, Teresa.

  126. Happy Birthday Leon, I got you some pull-ups:

    https://is.gd/2QqoBj

  127. Once at night, cotillion squared, the fight, and she was right
    In the derp of the bullets that eventually brought her down
    But she’s still dancing in the night unafraid of what
    A dude’ll do in a town full of Heroes and Villains.

  128. Happy B-Day Leon !!!!!!!

  129. Good morning.

    Whose turn is it to power-wash my hunchback?

    It’s been quite a month. You’re gonna need bleach and a scraper.

  130. *dons snow camouflage outfit while backing out of blog*

  131. *perks up ears, looks around*

    hunh.

  132. *turns and looks in mirror*

    Yeah, there’s some bristles need trimming…and looks like those dried scales are gonna fall off any day, one o’ yous might as well scrape ’em…and…is that…black…mud? Where did I pick that up? I don’t remember getting into any black mud, the fuck is this.

    *uses long stick to pick at mud*

    *sniffs it*

    OHHHH. OKAY.

    Nevermind. I’ll get that part myself.
    *embarrassed*

    I don’t remember having gotten that excited.

  133. Is anybody working on a saturday post? I can throw one up there if not.

  134. OK working on it
    Be up in a bit

  135. Cookie cheesecake and coffee is a great breakfast, but I’ll be ruing this soon.

  136. Pupster, she’s delightful, but those are toes-to-bars. I can do those!

    Or could. Breakfast might change that.

  137. Damn, Pups, Bravo!

  138. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]


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