Happy Hostage Thanksgiving

Here it is, the big day. Food, family, fellowship, football, flatulence, fellatio if you’re lucky (hopefully not with your cousin you sicko). Tell your mom that I said “Hello”. We made our turkey this past Sunday since we’re traveling today for dinner at the in-laws. The leftovers have been mostly eaten and the excess frozen to avoid getting the turkey trots.


Carin ought to wear these under her skort for the next turkey trot


That picture with the Pilgrims and turkey runners reminds me of my youth when we would dress up as Pilgrims and Indians and sit around the table eying each other nervously. One year Uncle Bubba blasted a neighbor with his musket when he showed up unexpectedly dressed as a hostile tribe member.

You really don’t see many photos like this anymore. Wonder why?


What’s Leon eating today?


Pretty sure I know the menu at La Casa de MJ

0004440010270_2000Liquid turkey from Minnesota


Pass the grog please. I need it to deal with all the libs telling me about how bad the white man was for coming to this place and ruining the pastoral setting that existed here. Bish, please.


A Big Thank You for everything we are blessed with

The cornucopia sums up Thanksgiving in America for me. The harvest and its many fruits and veggies all to be enjoyed by us.


Time to stuff as many meats into each other as humanly possible


And pie


And sloth


A little boob tube


There, that was good. Alright, now it’s time to dust off the Advent wreath, erect the plastic Christmas tree and select clever Christmas avatars.







  1. White Turkey Privilege.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. Happy Thanksgiving! Sitting in the lovely Newark airport waiting on our penultimate flight. (Unless it crashes, then it will be the ultimate flight, I guess. )

    Sat next to a 6 to 7 year old girl on the flight yesterday. I thought, uh oh, she’ll probably fuss. She was great, sat there for 6+ hours watching movies and playing games on a tablet. Her mother couldn’t sit still. Constantly having to get out of her seat and get into her luggage, or use the bathroom. We were wedged in, so it was a pain to let her out.

  4. Teresa, maybe try hard-frying an onion family relative with thinner flesh, like leeks. Frizzled leeks are a thing: http://www.highgroundorganics.com/recipes/frizzled-leeks-crispy-fried-shreds-of-leek-for-garnish-or-snacking/

    Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

    Going to a nice restaurant with Mom’s side of the family today. I’m only going to go to her house for dessert and coffee afterwards, then leave as soon as possible. I love the fam, but I need to come home and enjoy some silence and peace. I’m a bit frazzly and liable to get irritable.

    Eat and leave. We call this act, the ‘Chew n’ Screw.’ It’s not polite, but it’s necessary today. We’ll see how it goes. Not always a successful gambit.

  5. Welcome back to the U.S.A. Pepe.

    How did the TSA/Customs Agent treat you?

  6. Happy Thanksgiving! Start each day with a grateful heart! I don’t know who originally said that but I think it’s a good way to start the day.

    Have you guys ever seen those chocolate cakes at Costco? About a foot high with thick, shaved chocolate on the sides? I’ve wanted to buy one for (not kidding) about 20 years and I finally did it! I asked the gal putting out baked goods if they were any good and she said it was the best thing they make in the bakery. I’m more excited about that cake than anything else (besides family love and time together….hahahaha) this Thanksgiving. She said it freezes well too, so leftovers for Christmas!

    I also bought a pumpkin pie for the traditionalists in the family.

  7. Laura, there’s probably not enough people there for a successful Irish Goodbye

  8. Going to my daughter’s house. I made my two casseroles yesterday. Traditional green bean and a newcomer for Thanksgiving, Keto- bacon, cauliflower mac and cheese. Also bringing Hawaiian sweet rolls, cake, pie, Oh, and keto cranberry sauce. Don’t know why, I’m going to go like the Japs on Pearl Harbor on that cake.

  9. Workout next. A 20 min HIIT should do it.

  10. I had to look up Irish goodbye. LOL. I get the exact opposite, referred to in the family as the Seven Stages of Leaving.

  11. I have seen those cakes, Mare. Trying to remember if it had a layer of chocolate fluff or not.

  12. We’re in charge of bringing some cookies and whore ‘derves to the feast. I made a Sam’s trip earlier this week to pick up cookie dough for chocolate chip cookies and cheese slices/fancy sliced meat to make our version of a charcuterie plate.

  13. I had to look it up too, Roamy.

    My husband’s family does the Seven Stages of Leaving (Hilarious Roamy)

    Start saying you’re leaving…hugs, goodbyes, reminders
    Get to the door…hugs, kisses, goodbyes, reminders
    Get halfway to the car…hugs, goodbyes, reminders
    Get in the car, roll down window…talk for 10 min
    Forget something…have to go back in
    Say goodbye blanket wise to everyone…shouts, waves,
    Jog to the car….get in…remember you didn’t say goodbye to Auntie Alice.

  14. I got the impression Irish Goodbye was leave without paying, which I would never do. But I do like to “just leave.” Something about saying goodbyes from childhood I never liked.

  15. Is there only pro football on Today? Because I don’t watch. Any college games? We haven’t watched one pro game and don’t miss it at all. It helps that our weather is conducive to getting out and being active plus we like to read.

    Unfortunately, today is the first day of all day rain here this fall. Will probably have the TV on, maybe, Christmas Vacation which is one of my favorite Christmas shows.

  16. Well, I’m just a Chatty Kathy today.

    Anyhoo, you all have a great day and don’t be a dick. But you can be a dick to your lefty relatives if THEY start something. Classy people like us never start anything but we know how to finish it. Like your Mom.

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  17. In its recent use it means ghosting out of a gathering without the drawn out fanfare of multiple goodbyes. I have seen it used to mean chew-and-screw or dine-and-dash

  18. Rocketboy once asked point-blank what stage of leaving we were at. I said probably 2nd. He excused himself to use the restroom because he knew it was going to be another 15 minutes to get out of there and 30 minutes to drive home.

  19. Jimbro, TSA and customs went well. Got pre-check on our tickets for some reason today, winning! Only issue was the guy in front of us who kept setting off the metal detector. Bing! Take off your belt. Bing! Phone….. Bing! Pocket change. I think there was a language issue.

  20. I have conservative friends coming over today, so if there’s going to be political discussion, it should be of the pleasant variety. Any discussion of Roy Moore might change that. At work, we laughed at the Alabama newspapers endorsing the Democrat. Duh, they’re owned by a New York company, and they endorsed Hillary. That probably helped Roy Moore more than hurt him.

  21. Chatty Cathy Mare is Charming Mare.

  22. The kid yesterday had a virtual Barbie on her tablet. You picked hair style, outfit, accessories, etc. I was thinking that if they had a latex outfit package, it would be hours of fun for XBrad. ☺

  23. I’m sure it’s out there already. No visuals here


    but I bet with 5 minutes more of searching the latex version would sow up

  24. Latex turkey


  25. This seems reasonable.


  26. I like the concept but $1399 … not so much

  27. Same.

  28. Oso, one day, all eps.

  29. Good time to buy a TV.

    50″ for $179. Crazy.

  30. Best Buy (in store only)

    That probably means they had one at that price and someone bought it at 4 AM.

  31. It’s Thanksgiving. Who the fuck goes shopping for a TV at 4am on Thanksgiving?

  32. Tomorrow.

  33. I replaced two basket drains in the kitchen this morning. One I had already bought, the other I had to go buy from Meijer this morning. Fixed the sprayer hose that was leaking too.

    Now to go back out to the gas station for the pop I didn’t see a text about, then into the crawlspace for pumpkins.

  34. Donatello and Richard appear to be getting along so far.

  35. Season six of longmire is out as well. Oh well, there goes my weekend.

  36. Is Donatello cute and friendly like they advertise?

  37. We ghosted out of my friend’s son’s wedding a couple of weekends ago.

  38. Getting ready to go to BiL’s. Waiting for the cobbler to get out of the oven.

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING Hotsnausages!!

  39. With us taking the old farts with us, there’s a good chance we can leave early.

    *did not sleep well last night*

    *achy arm*

  40. blerg. Barely alive. wakey wakey

  41. At my brother’s, already eaten. It’s good to relax and catch up.

  42. GF pie crusts were in the freezer, so, WIN!!!

    Mr. TiFW made a pumpkin pie and a cherry pie this morning. We will be leaving soon to go to our friends’ house to eat and watch the Cowboys play.

    Mr. TiFW’s brother and SIL are coming this evening; the HS football team that our nephew coaches (the Buffalo Bisons) made it to the 3A Regional playoffs, which will be played tomorrow in Buford, Texas.

    Why, yes – we are hicks…..😊

  43. Happy Thanksgiving all y’all. 2 more episodes of Punisher last night. So jelly of CoAlEx right now!!!! Bernthal is great as Punisher.

  44. Happy Thanksgiving to a wonderful collection of weird people.

  45. Oso, it’s Turkey Day. Kick back in the recliner with a bottle of rum, put on Netflix, and tell Dan to make you a turkey sammich.

  46. Dan was putting the turkey in this AM and I was watching Pride & Prejudice. Dan: Why aren’t you watching The Punisher? Oso: Can I really watch while you’re cooking? Dan: no. I just don’t know why you’re watching crap. Fin. $20.

  47. Happy Thanksgiving XB! Are you still keeping current with Bosch novels?

  48. Punisher, episode 3: whoever directed this battle sequence needs to be fired. It’s horrible.

  49. Bets on when Tesla finally dies?

  50. Happy Thanksgiving, all…

  51. I’m going to need to make a doctor’s appointment four hours after reading this.

  52. Ordered the Anova sous vide wifi on Monday. It arrived yesterday. $70 off and free shipping with Prime. Can’t wait to try it on some strip steaks tomorrow.

    Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. We’re going to a restaurant with friends.

  53. Happy Thanksgiving folks. Love ya.

  54. It’s 93 degrees today. In late November.

  55. Morgenholz!! Holy crap, man.
    We need an update on the fam.

  56. Hotspur, I don’t think you’ll notice a big difference with strip steak.

    Try something like chuck roast, they come out as prime rib.

  57. Alex,
    That’s an interesting article on Tesla. I can’t believe they haven’t hired some experienced car production guys. The automotive industry is one of the most competitive industries. Those guys know their stuff and know how to squeeze cost out. It not like rocket industry where there was lots of fat to be cut. Maybe they can pull it off, but it’s not looking likely.

    Also I hope the republican don’t screw up that plan to redo the judiciary. But it’s likely they will find a way to F it up.

  58. Happy Thanksgiving from Southern Canada. I hope your mom got the turkey out on time. We had ham.

  59. Comment by Pupster on November 23, 2017 5:16 pm
    We had ham.

    You Canadians are filthy savages.

  60. Someone with googlefu needs to link the GameStop Black Friday ad

  61. pbc monster turkey was smoked to perfection

  62. Pumpkin came out great. Donkey is friendly and likes to be petted. Cornish hens completely consumed.

  63. https://tinyurl.com/y7q7jz3n

  64. You should give the donkeys a pumpkin.

  65. Ha!
    That commercial was made for this shithole.
    Hope y’all had a great Thanksgiving and are as miserably stuffed as I am. Going to dive into Apple cobbler as soon as I have the energy to get off the couch.

  66. https://is.gd/TTaDa4

  67. https://is.gd/GsHaEn

  68. Thanks Scott

  69. Laura’s nephew has a couple part time retail jobs.

    He gets out of one job at 1:30 AM and reports to the other at 4:30 AM.


  70. Oso, I’m on episode 6. The girl who plays Dinah is gorgeous.

  71. We finished 7 last night. Yes, she is.

  72. Scott, Membership retail is awesome. We open at regular time tomorrow.

  73. Oso, how many TVs will you take back? Round up to the nearest dozen.

  74. Finally made it back to NM. Stopped at Walmart to pick up some food. Deserted, but they are bracing for the Black Friday rush at 6:00. Even had cops there to prepare.

  75. We’re already getting our 11/11 one day event TVs back.

  76. Bien Venidos Pepe!

  77. We had a 75 inch 4K Samsung roll out the exit without being paid for, so there’s that

  78. Pepe, do you ever go left at Socorro to San Antonio?

  79. I’m high-fiving myself, dinner turned out great. Only hitch was that I made green bean casserole in the crockpot, and I burned the onions in the toaster oven the first time. I had enough to toss those out and start over. The turkey was perfect.

  80. 🦃

  81. I got kicked off pie reheating duty. Kibosh on cinnamon rolls from the can. I was allowed to make toast and refill champagne

  82. Oso, we go there to buy hay, or Manny’s Buckhorn cafe.

  83. We’re watching a M*A*S*H marathon instead of NFL.

  84. Is Buckhorn worth the drive?

  85. We usually stop at The Owl for family reasons

  86. Holy shitcicles, I’m trying to buy some Legos for the beasnson on target dot com and it’s sooooo slllllllooooooowwwwww.

    WTH, it’s like it’s Black Friday crap going on or something.

  87. *Waves to Morgenholz if he pops back in.*

  88. Morning Wood inn teh evening –
    weird or lucky –
    you decide

  89. Happy T-Bird day my fifs

  90. Beasn he’s a Twitter guy. One of us…

  91. Cyn???

  92. What up Squirrel?

  93. channels inner chumpinator

  94. So, what happens when we get a story like this, but with a guy whose sex doll looks like a ten-year-old girl?

  95. My niece had invited one of her roomies/friends, who is from Barbados, to Thanksgiving. Nice girl majoring in International Relations and history. OMGoodness, she was very quiet until she was asked if Barbados got hit by the hurricanes…which it didn’t, but the convo zipped off with the damage done to other islands and how some aren’t getting any help….crooked governments….slavery/history…mental health…governments have to help the people with mental health, etc etc….Diversity Lottery should be kept (oy!).

    Imma send my niece some Thomas Sowell and Keith Richburg’s book, Out of America, to give to her.

  96. Okay, can someone go over to target dot com and tell me if they are having any problems getting in, or is it just me.

  97. Nevermind, the site is finally working for me.

  98. You’re trusting Target with your CC info?

    Do you want to buy some land in Florida?

  99. Virtual card number is the way to go.

  100. I trust Target with your CC info.

    Thanks Leon!

  101. Wonderful day/evening at my daughter’s house. She had her TV on the yule log station and it was lovely. No pro football and didn’t miss it.

  102. Pretty sure any cc info I have is out there already, thanks to Equifax. Including my Red Card.

  103. Also tranny bathrooms.

  104. We were halfway through dinner when a nephew asked Paula’s stepmom how the Cowboys were doing. TV on … not so well. About an hour before we left the redneck part of the family arrived. It’s hard to follow but let me give it a go: Paula’s stepmother’s adult son arrived with his new wife, his son with his wife and kid and a couple of her adult sons. They brought a gallon of whole milk, a handle of Allen’s coffee brandy, red Solo cups and straws. Our youngest watched all this unfold and was mortified. He was being obvious so Paula gave him an elbow which her brother noticed and they all started laughing at the scene unfolding in her parent’s house. The mother with the toddler aged child wasn’t drinking coffee brandy. She had one of those king size cans of Twisted Tea. Good Lord.

  105. That’s more convoluted than a New Messican family tree.

  106. Oso, Buckhorn is way better than the Owl. Short drive for us.

  107. *EDIT: Never mind, I can’t get the formatting correct.*

  108. https://is.gd/XIleBz

  109. Thanks, Pepe. Free cranes and a sammich in SA

  110. The mother with the toddler aged child wasn’t drinking coffee brandy. She had one of those king size cans of Twisted Tea.

    What, no Fireball?

  111. I tell you what, that Fireball is the Devil’s own


  112. I’ve been sick all day. Ugh.

    One bite of turkey and a spoonful of stuffing on my plate just so it didn’t look too weird. Hope i better tomorrow

  113. https://tinyurl.com/yc4wuzdq

  114. What’s wrong, Carin?

  115. I hope you feel better, CARin. Mrs. Pupster and Boy1 are sick…not too sick to eat dinner, but too sick to cook and do dishes.

  116. Also tranny bathrooms.

    Yeah, I know.
    I rarely shop at Target. I’ve been looking for the Lego Apollo V since it’s release, and the only place that has had it in stock was amazon. Marked way up.
    I’ll make an exception this one time and get it retail price, minus 5% Red Card, and free shipping.

  117. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 23, 2017 10:24 pm
    What’s wrong, Carin?

    She’s probably pregnant.

  118. That Cochran fellow is a big fan of that swill that is called Fireball.i Nasty stuff, that.
    I will admit to two things – I took a half pint of bourbon to Mom’s today and made a drink to sip on after dinner. I see no problem with it. Neither did she.
    And, I actually like that Twisted Tea stuff, but it’s really a “summertime cutting the grass” kind of drink. Basically a “lawnmower beer.” If the chick was drinking a Four Loco at Thanksgiving Dinner, I’d be a bit concerned.

  119. Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something–I hope all of you Hotsausages had a very happy Thanksgiving filled with friends, family, good food and drink (if you’re into the latter), and all the other things we have to be thankful for on a day like today. I certainly did. I’m truly thankful for all of you.

    Now I’ll derp and then hit the sack.

  120. I’ll feed you derp that don’t exist
    I’ll leave graffiti
    Where you’ve never been kissed
    I’ll do your laundry
    Massage your soul
    I’ll turn you over
    To the highway patrol

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