Monday again, and nothing has changed. Mound somewhat more filled in. Seeds in soil but not yet sprouting. Baby crawling, standing with a lot of help. Still heading into the job I shouldn’t have taken today, such is life. I ain’t got it that bad, it’s merely relatively bad.
Happy Monday.
That’s a pretty serious ab vein.
Ab selfie.
Scorpion.
Do not attempt this while you have tummy trouble or bowel burbles.
Behind-the-neck press?
More abs.
Deadlifts are good stuff, man.
Mountains.
B&W = Art. Also braids are cute.
MONDAY IS HAPPENING. YOU ARE HERE.
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A fine collection of wimmens that can kick my ass, leon. Well done.
!!!
Question: Can someone please email me the pw for PoL. It has apparently changed in my long absence. I want do some Impotent Updating! in the next few days. Danke schoen.
herrmorgenholz [at] yahoo [dot] etc.
Sent, Herr.
Ha, too late.
“Sent Herr”
http://is.gd/Alternate_meetup_location
Somebuddy gonna get buttmangled by t-rex.
http://tinyurl.com/gp74u29
another fine effort leon!
this exclamation mark movement may have merit!!
I’m not so sure that it does!!!
What if we combined the question game with the exclamation mark movement?!?!
Whaley wakey
Next Saturday is free. Sat/Sun of next weekend is also free other than mass attendance.
*^^**
It’s my “work fake doubles all weekend” weekend.
That should have been the Sat/Sun of the weekend after next, 14 and 15 May, but my wife will be at Selfridge during the days that weekend.
I think I’m actually stuck at home on 11 and 12 because she’s got other stuff at the base prior to the weekend, so I could also be visited then, but again it will just be me and Possum.
Drive time.
Leon, why do you call your daughter Possum. I used to call your mom Possum because she faked being passed out in order to avoid sex. Surely that’s not the case here.
.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D15woX5EqLk
Prince Live at THe Brits 2006. cool stuff.
MORNING ALL. MY CAPS LOCK IS ON AND I AM READY FOR LIFE. WHAT IS IN THIS COFFEE?
Mr Science needs a few of these : !!!!!!!!!
buffalo dung
sodomy bag
We have 3 garden box thingies in the backyard. It looks like the former owners planted a bunch of types of tomatoes. Most are dead, but something rather large, that doesn’t look like a weed has sprouted up.
Who should I send pictures to for identification?
The local DEA office.
I’ll give it a go. swood7797 g thingy
If I don’t recognize it, Laura will.
This just in
Laying off state employees may reduce government productivity.
They are so cute when they try to act smart.
The girl in the top two photos has enough flesh on her to be kinda sexy. I wonder what Leon was thinking.
Homeboy in the green yoga pants is what all the fuss is about in NC. I’d bet he’s taking that pic from a women’s restroom where he just got through sneaking a peek at a real woman’s vaj.
It’s a codename, Pendejo, I blame Beasn.
Heh, love how the facedouche stories begin with someone getting DESTROYED!
Yeah, about that. Stop it, it’s stupid. Especially conservative sites.
SEND IT TO ME MJ
Car in lives for this moment.
That and cleaning up after Moose.
She lives to serve, J’Ames.
What did you come up with, Car in?
Weed. Looks like a big-ole stinking weed to me.
I believe I get them by the shitt-tonne in my garden but I usually pull them when they’re smaller.
If the steam is really soft and kinda feels squishy …
Yep, its pretty flaccid.
Heh.
Looks like a pigweed to me.
We get a lot of it, 4-6 feet tall by summer.
http://is.gd/ThcO0V
PULL IT. PULL IT NOW!!!!!!
What does it taste like?
In honor of MJ getting married this weekend, we should give GND some of our best advice.
Make him sleep on the wet spot.
Dont talk with yer mouth full
Its traditional on the wedding night that the new bride make sammiches.
Back out now before it’s too late.
Left to right.
Tushar, Monday
http://imgur.com/gallery/rIXg8Uw
is “make sammiches” a euphemism for give last blow job ever?
Put a cactus in your bra for good luck.
Put a penny in your ass for, well, you know why.
You have to SPEND it….
Next meatup I’m bringing all pennies.
Big Spender
I am at the cardiologist’s office, getting a nuclear stress test. Nothing serious, just preparing for the arrival of my only inheritance: hereditary diseases.
The test involves a radioactive dye injected in my bloodstream. Sadly it won’t make me glow in the dark. Science has not advanced to a point where it might impress my kids.
Tushar, welcome to old age. I’m having my second nuclear stress test next month.
Of course you won’t glow in the dark, brown person!
Ask the Cardiologist if he’ll throw in a prostate check, on the house.
Wink after you ask for better results.
Tushar,
The last time I did that, when the radiologist pushed the plunger, the shunt in my arm blew-out and squirted Technetium over me, the treadmill, and the floor.
It was great!!!
>>, when the radiologist pushed the plunger, the shunt in my arm blew-out and squirted Technetium over me, the treadmill, and the floor.
The fuck???
Is this the one where they tell you you’ll feel a warm sensation in your nether regions…..because by warm they mean FEELS LIKE YER ASSHOLE IS ON FIRE…..that one was pleasant
>>Of course you won’t glow in the dark, brown person!
Thass rayciss
Day 11 of The Sinus Infection from Hell: The flow of mucus accelerates. I feel pretty.
Advice for GND: get a vibrator. A good one….this is not the time to be frugal.
Pokeweed, not pigweed.
Pig in a poke
I think I’m going to grow organic pokeweeds and sell them to hipsters in my neighborhood for $200 per ounce.
MJ, tell them it’s organic, free-range, gluten-free pokeweed.
Heh, even better, since it’s poisonous.
If you wait a few months it makes grapes.
Bourbon and pokeweed
Yes, it’s pokeweed. I hates it.
PULL IT NOW
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/see-chris-stapletons-stunning-prince-tribute-20160425
PULL IT NOW
Are we still on advice for GND?
http://tinyurl.com/hrc6tdl
Well, looks like I get to spend at least one more day in the hospital – why do all of the complications show up on the day you’re supposed to be discharged? (!!!)
I’m doing quite well, actually – certainly much better than last time.
Do you have any leftover Fentanyl or Dilaudid? I’m asking for a friend.
No more Dilaudid – the IV was removed yesterday (yay!). They are giving me some muscle relaxant called Soma(?), which is da bomb.
http://is.gd/4Zg3YG
No more Dilaudid – the IV was removed yesterday (yay!). They are giving me some muscle relaxant called Soma(?), which is da bomb.
I thought Demerol was pretty awesome.
“Oh wow, maaaaannn. That HURT.”
Andrew Napolitano has an interesting theory, according to him Hillary is going to be forced out.
He thinks people at the FBI will start leaking if she isn’t indicted.
If she steps down, do they go with Bernie? Do they tell Bernie supports to go to hell and make Biden the candidate?
News cycle has been silent for wks bout the beasts email. The only scenario where I see any action being taken will require numerous open resignations with whistle blowing. There will have to a be a shit storm to get it back on the table.
Uh, that’s a shadow, not an ab vein. #corrections #getyereyeschecked #thisweekendblew #hashtagabuse #pleasesomebodystopme
Be careful what you wish for. Hillary being forced out opens the door for Fauxcahontas, Biden, etc etc etc. My expectation is that a number of peons take the fall, not the queen.
I think a lot depends on whether Obama wants her to be President. If he wants it, it will happen, if he doesn’t, it won’t.
His justive dept will make sure to do his bidding, through FBI.
Avast!!
I agree w Tush. O has the Clintoons over a barrell w his Justice dept and the Feebs.
I say Herself bows out for “medical reasons”. I think her cough is a brain tumor. (I wouldnt wish that on anyone, of course) and the investigation is dropped.
Leaving us w Biden and Pochafuckface.
I’m not sure Barry is as important to current events.
/spentforce
(I wouldnt wish that on anyone, of course)
I would. She deserves it.
Yeah?
What has she done?
I think her cough is a brain tumor.
Cardiac issues. Bank on it.
Jerry Brown!
She spend decades covering for her scumbag husband as he used his office to harass and sexually assault women.
She and her husband have engaged in numerous crooked deals that netted them millions of dollars while screwing over everyone else.
She’s sought at every opportunity to seize control over every aspect of our lives.
She used the State department as leverage to extort tens of millions of dollars for her own charity.
She helped leave Libya a disaster of a failed state that has become a haven for Al-Qaeda and the Islamic State, and her incompetence managing the State Department got a US ambassador killed. And then she lied to cover it up.
She attempted to circumvent the FOIA through her private server which was not only an insult to voters and the democratic process, but most likely allowed US secrets to fall into the hands of our enemies
To Hell with her. In any just world she’d be swinging from a meathook in the town square
To wish her death by cancer is a bit further than I would go. If you can square that circle than you must have very strong convictions.
If Hillary were a male republican she’d be in jail already.
I don’t want her to die of cancer, I want her tried, convicted. and hanged.
Of all the reasons for a cough…CHF. Damn Brother Cavil, I haven’t thought about a cough due to CHF in ages. Could be. Maybe. I’d hope Hill and Bill could afford better doctors to get things under control.
Hear hear Chumpo. There’s enough misery to go around without wishing it on others. A simple going away and never coming back would satisfy me.
We all go away by and by.
Politics for me isnt a moral dilema. I understand the pasion but I’ve lost people close to me.
I pray for life and time for understanding.
Also, edema (cankles?), lack of energy, confusion, shortness of breath…sounding familiar yet?
Whatever passes for a heart in there isn’t in good shape.
I was wondering if her cough might be due to taking ace inhibitors (blood pressure medication) or some other medication. Both my mom and I had that reaction when we started on them.
Of course, it was so unpleasant for us that we went off of them almost immediately….
Banish her to some podunk town in Arkansas for life.
A good ole’ fashioned banishing.
I could get behind that for sure.
Alex, what a ya say? Banishment without servants or pantzutes?
I told you guys before, she’s trying to cough up a Huma pubic hair ball.
Colex at 6:26. I’m pretty much on your team.
Hahaha Oso ❤️ HS
Poke weed….
no jokes about POKE WEED
i don’t know you ppl n e more
cankles – pokin’ at the Hoomah weed
Banishment works. No doctors or servants.
No booze.
“No booze”
A punishment most cruel..
>>I told you guys before, she’s trying to cough up a Huma pubic hair ball.
Thanks for the visual, Hotspur. I need to go on a diet. This helps.
All this talk of Hillary’s “heart” reminds me of the movie Miller’s Crossing.
I tried and failed to find the full gif of this scene:
http://is.gd/RdfZbq
Bernie=America
Hillary=Tom
One thing I’m sure of is that Hillary isn’t the antichrist.
He’d have lower negatives.
Primary vote tomorrow.
I might have to vote for Kasich.
Cruz didn’t even try here and has zero chance of stopping Trump.
She’s just a horseman. I’m guessing not famine. Pestilence?
War. That’s why she wants us disarmed.
There’s no where to banish them to. Alaska? Alaska wouldn’t take them.
On a side note, I’m fully in favor of bringing back the lash as punishment.
Antarctica. We still have a wedge of it claimed.
Penguins do like the smell of herring.
Banish her to North Carolina. Lefties seem to really dislike that place.
(Sorry, NC peeps.)
Last poll
Trump 52
Kasich 27
Cruz 15
Sad
>>Penguins do like the smell of herring.
Right then! I will have a successful diet this time.
“I might have to vote for Kasich.”
i truly mean this non-judgmentally –
standing on principle is, i hope, not dead
NM is one of the states Cruz has ceded to Kasich.
Hillary must be in trouble here, she’s advertising like crazy.
Kasich has a chance of keeping delegates from Trump, Cruz does not.
Plus, it’s only a primary.
Lemme try this again – I had the old poat open …
Evenin’, hosefuckers.
Bernie is favored here. Shrill has the Supers. Opposite of ’08.
Howdy, Andy.
Salmon report?
Didn’t get a chance to try it. I did pick up some apple chunks, though, so there’s that.
“Did pick up some apple chunks…”
*sniggers*
Almost time to get crackin’, Carin. Chop-chop.
https://www.almanac.com/gardening/planting-dates/MI/Lapeer
The only thing worse than Donald Trump that could befall the United States is that shrill, criminal shrew.
I just threw up in my mouth a lot.
*flicks lima bean at LauraW*
I gotta get my potatoes started.
>>On a side note, I’m fully in favor of bringing back the lash as punishment.
Punishment? That’s crazy.
That shit costs $350.00 an hour.
Laura, how about that funny Viking video you linked?
It was back when Baowulf was a pup and Eric was a strawberry blond.
Hillary must be in trouble here, she’s advertising like crazy.
Bernie had spots running on TIC every 15 minutes. All fucking day.
Our onions and spuds are in.
Tomato, peppers, tomatillos were on the deck hardening-off.
We just put them inside, as it’s gonna get low 30s tonight…
!!!
Damn, thunderstorm just hit us out of nowhere here. It’s really unusual for that to happen around here.
Are you hunkered down?
Was just at Theo Sparks. His “Babe Blogger” Donald Douglas, linkes This post:
”
See, “Hot Happy Monday Blogging at the Hostages (With Pert Fitness Mopsies).”
Oh my.
I have arrived!
Things are going to start happening to me now!!!
Evening Hostages.
I miss anything worthwhile? Anything worth reading back through the comments?
Your mom gave MJ pokeweed.
Kind of a slow day here, Bcock. No earth-shattering kabooms today. Pleasant, but quiet.
Oh, Scott’s voting for Kasich and CoAlex endorsed Hillary for damnation. That happened.
WAIT, “Dan” liked the poat.
Dan? As in Dan that we aren’t supposed to know exists Dan?
Kasich? Don’t know much about him. I think his dad was a UPS delivery guy or something.
Hillary. The only person who I respect less than Hillary the Politician is Hillary the Person. I wouldn’t piss in that bitch’s mouth if her teeth were on fire.
>> I wouldn’t piss in that bitch’s mouth if her teeth were on fire.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2ce-zC_n8E
Not my Dan. My Dan only peeks in on Fridays.
Confirmed:
We have an unknown lurker of indeterminate anal bullwhip status.
We have an unknown lurker of indeterminate anal bullwhip status.
Unacceptable. Number of bullwhips must be known.
no matter how many times I see “kinky”, it always hits me a’broadsides.
Dan is the tranny in green yoga pants.
We’ll assume seven bullwhips and work from there. .
Squeee!!! That gif is SOOO darn cute!
http://i.imgur.com/7O2FM6I.gif
Laura, how about that funny Viking video you linked?
Elaborate? I don’t recall linking any vikings?
Kitty did bring that green fish to his face and slurp it up. Watch. The green fish is scooped up and disappears from the screen.
Turns out you can’t smoke pokeweed. Totally false advertising and now I’m going to have to take back the Lamborghini.
This came up yesterday. The video involved vikings, John Cleese, and Led Zeppelin.
I do not want to adult tomorrow. Please tell me I do not have to adult.
We all have to.
Huge new book release tomorrow. 50+ titles. Yay me.
Shrink me a good title!
More stuff from the guy who gave us Viking Kittens, http://rathergood.com/category/our-favourites/
It was a Led Zepp song set to all of these intense viking illustrations and one portrait of John Cleese as a viking for a perfect comedic element.
Internet gold.
Maybe lost forever.
7 are trashy romance novels that I read. Who do you read? Summer PB endcap sets tomorrow as well. 3 new coloring books.
Gotta go look at trucks tomorrow. I expect to get serious sticker shock. The insurance guy is going to say my old truck was totaled. Now I’m waiting to see what they are going to value it at. Probably going to cost 3x the value to replace it. We were actually going to take our first vacation in 20???? years.
I steal bibles and sell them on eBay.
I want in on that.
Scott, I had $1200 in book theft last month. Mostly Dr Seuss. March is Read Across America month. Only $100 in Children’s Bibles. WTF people. $270 in color pencil 5 finger discount.
CHF cough is worse when you’ve been travelling a lot and/or standing a lot, especially in heels.
Heels are a Medieval torture device.
But damn we look good in ’em.
5 mins to go, St. Louis up by one.
These are fun games. Things start going really fast now.
The TV weatherman is practically having an on-air orgasm explaining what could be the “biggest severe weather event this season!!!”
Not my Dan. My Dan only peeks in on Fridays.
There was an Easter egg gif for him last Friday.
I don’t know if he was here. I’ll ask.
On-air orgasm
TRIGGERED!!1
You do that.
Wow, a double post hit.
Heels are a Medieval torture device.
But damn we look good in ’em.
Bought these for the wife a while back. Finally got em a couple weeks ago.
http://imgur.com/N0rkyyn
Those are awesome Bcoch!
I can’t wear heels!! I have freaky duck feet!!!
Thanks oso. I paid way too much for them, but she’s awesome and deserves cool stuff.
RAWR!
I have freaky duck feet!!!
I hear that the surgery to fix syndactyly has vastly improved, oso.
No such thing as too much for awesome shoes
blerg
Love the planting guide Lauraw. THANKS
Love those shoes!
Did she know that you were getting them for her, or was it a surprise?
I’m just trying to save my toes! Assholes have infiltrated the kids shoe biz. No longer separating the Ys from the Gs. Just kid shoes. I ❤️ Zappos.
Surprise. I randomly came across them online one night and showed them to her.
“Oh those are cool. Lot of money, but very cool.”
I bought them the next night after she went to bed. They showed up 6 weeks later.
What a sweet surprise!
Do you have a single brother out this way by chance?
Ha! No brothers. One younger sister is it for me.
And she deserves a nice surprise. She went back to work full time this last August. It has not been a good or easy year for her.
She’s a teacher. Kindergarten to be specific. She was hired, loved the school, loved the kids. Perfect set up. And then 4 weeks into the year, “sorry, we don’t have enough students. You were last hired, so you have to go.”
They had another position for her, thank God, but it was teaching 3rd grade math. It’s been a fucking disaster for reasons that would take forever to spell out.
The good news is that all along the principal from the school she started with has insisted that she wants my wife back. To the point of openly discussing with the vice principal who would need to be fired to make room for my wife. Several teachers are retiring or taking a medical leave of absence, so my wife is headed back there next year and is secure.
That’s awesome that she’s set up for next year. Only a few more weeks of this year to make it through. Just a few more weeks… https://media.giphy.com/media/4efDsKNR4s8g0/giphy.gif
Yeah she can’t wait to get the hell out.
The classroom she was given? Converted locker room. AC is virtually nonexistent. Which is awesome in FL.
The teacher she took over for? An absolute idiot who has a job only because he’s the principal’s friend and is a whiz at fixing tech issues.
Because the teacher sucks, and everybody knows he sucks, no parents ever request him as a teacher. So he ends up with a class of kids whose parents/grandparents/legal guardians don’t really care. You can imagine what the kids are like.
I hope they converted the fridge into a kegger.
G’night sweet sugarplums
Bye bye and buy bonds
Comment by Cyn, Stands With A Glass on April 25, 2016 11:01 pm
Heels are a Medieval torture device.
But damn we look good in ’em.
Yeah, if she’s walking around in heels for too long, something ain’t right. Good heels are meant to be worn while pointed at the ceiling.
That seems like an unusual way to store one’s shoes.
Hi. Just checking to see if I’m still spam.
Nope, not chopped and formed. But still good fried with eggs.
G’night guys.
“That seems like an unusual way to store one’s shoes.”
Perhaps “storage” is a novel euphemism.
Someday when we’re dreaming,
Deep in derp, not a lot to say.
Then we will try to remember
The things we said today.
*searches for pants*