Ok, it’s not the really early redeye version, it’s the hit talk show Red Eye version. Calm down!
I didn’t write any song for anyone, but I do like this one:
No connection, other than it’s out of left field. Now, onto the content!
Our model today will be recognized by many Hostages, as everyone has seen RedEye at one time or another. If you haven’t, then you are missing out. It’s great, and I recommend you DVR it and watch it every day. Somehow it never gets old to me. Greg, Andy, and even Bill keep things going. Plus they bring along guests like today’s BBF starlet. Born on the Fourth of July, 1980, she’s a TV Personality, producer, and all around great gal. Let’s welcome Carrie Keagan!
She’s got a great sense of humor, willing to do anything to push a show forward.
She really likes ice cream.
She pays attention to fitness, and really cares about how she looks.
Wait a minute, did I forget our history lesson? Not quite, here you go!
1544 – French forces defeat a Spanish army at the Battle of Ceresole.
1876 – The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks is organized.
1919 – The International Labour Organization is founded.
1945 – World War II: American forces liberate the Buchenwald concentration camp.
1951 – Korean War: President Harry Truman relieves General of the Army Douglas MacArthur of overall command in Korea.
1954 – The most boring day since 1900 according to the True Knowledge Answer Engine
1968 – President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, prohibiting discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of housing.
1970 – Apollo 13 is launched.
1976 – The Apple I is created.
1989 – Ron Hextall becomes the first goaltender in NHL history to score a goal in the playoffs.
2002 – Over two hundred thousand people marched in Caracas towards the Presidential Palace of Miraflores, to demand the resignation of president Hugo Chávez. 19 of the protesters are killed, and the Minister of Defense Gral. Lucas Rincon announces Hugo Chávez resignation on national TV.
Carrie is someone that you’d really like to be seen with, out on the town.
She really knows what the camera wants to see.
And she really knows the good angles.
Have a happy BBF, everyone!
Bonus song, since Carrie was born on Independence Day, and I like this song.
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
Friday
Aren’t you supposed to type first in all caps? That’s what all the cool blogs do.
I’ve got cool I haven’t even used.
Power Girl cosplay has rarely been done with the right assets. Carrie has set the standard.
If NK goes away, who will the Chinese demand we replace them with in movies?
Obama’s day:
11:15 am || Receives the Presidential Daily Briefing
2:05 pm || Presents the Commander-in-Chief Trophy to the United States Naval Academy football team; East Room
Yep. That’s it. He doesn’t even pretend. It’s Friday, bitches.
Yaaaassssss!
Very nice J’ames.
Leave the poor guy alone.
He just wants to eat his waffle.
I’m sure the day will include a totally unscripted photo-op of Brick throwing a football.
Daily briefing at 11:15?
What a lazy bastard.
My dad fast forwards Obama when he’s on the news. It’s pretty funny.
I did catch a few seconds of him talking about NK last night. He was basically asleep, just going through the um, uhhh, um, uhhhh, um, um, um, um, uhhhh, um, uhh, um, um, motions.
He’s already a lame duck.
I bet Obama pondered the same question I did about NK. Rendered him speechless with worry.
Way to go J’Ames. Thanks, good job.
Mrs. Jay can’t even listen to him. She leaves the room.
Thanks for the thanks, everyone. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it, since MJ is gone.
We’ll just have to roll the tranny whales back in the ocean together.
I’m just going to call him The Duck from now on.
Comment by Jay in Ames on April 12, 2013 8:48 am
Looks like Rosetta needs to start his own Reasons My Son Is Crying Blog ……..
=======
Pretty sure there is one main reason Henry is crying, he realized who his dad is………… I see years of therapy in his future.
Who’s the new guy with big ears?
I did catch a few seconds of him talking about NK last night. He was basically asleep, just going through the um, uhhh, um, uhhhh, um, um, um, um, uhhhh, um, uhh, um, um, motions.
I saw that, and felt
so confident that our country was protected by a forceful leader, who could stand firm in the face of dangerthat we were completely fucked.Good morning Bewbs!
and
Good morning, Bewbs!
Good work, Jay. You get to keep your Man and Hostage Cards.
I would stop by this place for morning coffee, and I don’t even drink coffee……. NSFW-ish
http://tinyurl.com/cuz4nl3
Where were these when I was a kid?
http://tinyurl.com/cy7vpt6
Nobody ever gave me a Hostage Card.
Dicks!
If it were on my commute, I might stop making my own and taking a thermos to work.
This ought to get your blood pumping this morning:
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/04/12/dad-furious-after-finding-this-crayon-written-paper-in-florida-4th-graders-backpack-i-am-willing-to-give-up-some-of-my-constitutional-rights/
Yesterday I dropped HotBride off at her new job at 8:15. She called me at 8:05 to come pick her up. She was bushwhacked. Then we had to go to a brew pub where our friend’s band was playing.
Then she was out of bed at 6:30 making the coffee.
I married a superstar.
Does she like the job, HS? A little less nervous now?
She really likes it. When I picked her up I asked her “How was it?”, and she said “AWESOME!”
Heh. She’s like a teenager.
Hotbride kicks ass.
Wow, that picture of the beige and black bathing suit shows off a knockout body.
Texas comes through again!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307353/Margaret-Thatchers-American-football-star-grandson-Michael-takes-world-US-politics.html
Where are those feminist whores now? Shouldn’t they be protesting and shouting and looking dykey and hitting people with their placards?
http://tinyurl.com/cuc3r8j
Scott is in a job interview right now.
Please cross whatever you’ve got.
At worst, he will have dipped his toes back into the job search process. Guy hasn’t had a job interview in over twenty years. Been self-employed over most of that time as well.
Mare, Michigan tried to pass a law that would have required abortion clinics be inspected, and held up to certain standards – standards like those our store has to pass. It had certain provisions – such as saying there needed to be a sanitary sink in the room, etc.
The left-wing hags argued that the right was trying to close down abortion clinics with their unreasonable standards. That some wouldn’t be able to pay for the alterations to bring it up to code.
Yea right. But if that was true for a few, SO FUCKING WHAT?
They don’t care when a restaurant can’t bring itself up to code. They just close it down.
GOOD LUCK SCOTT.
That was the debate that caused teh “vagina” kerfuffle in Michigan last year.
Mare, I need you to drive my daughter to soccer tonight. My son has a track meet, and Mr Car in won’t be home from work.
I’m so sick of asking people to help with rides. This sucks. I haven’t done it too much, and I wouldn’t care if asked. but still.
Who’s owning comments? This chick —->
*crosses everything*
“At worst, he will have dipped his toes back into the job search process. Guy hasn’t had a job interview in over twenty years. Been self-employed over most of that time as well.”
Oh man, I can’t imagine that, I haven’t worked outside the home for 25 years and well, never mind, I’m rooting for Scott!!
Mare, I need you to drive my daughter to soccer tonight. My son has a track meet, and Mr Car in won’t be home from work.
Seriously, I’d love to. I had a dream last night that I was trying to work out my kids schedules and I woke up happy.
“The left-wing hags argued that the right was trying to close down abortion clinics with their unreasonable standards.”
Don’t those assholes know what businesses have to go through?
At first I thought “I haven’t been on a job interview since June 1977.” Then I realized that every time I meet a new client, I’m on a job interview.
Don’t those assholes know what businesses have to go through?
None of that matters. We’re talking abortions.
No matter what happens, it’s good that Scott went through the interview process. If he has too, he’ll get better each time. Barrier breakthrough!
Seriously, I’d love to. I had a dream last night that I was trying to work out my kids schedules and I woke up happy.
That’s ironic, because I was up all night worrying about it.
Don’t those assholes know what businesses have to go through
No.
Good Luck scott!
Did he wear a tie? Please tell me he wore a tie.
IIRC, opening a mobile veterinary clinic has stricter standards than abortion practices in this state.
Doc in a van who works on non-human patients has more compliance requirements than killing babies inside a live woman.
One of those western style ties would be cool.
With a tweed sports jacket. And combat boots.
It was actually hilarious when they were arguing against the standards.
It was if they knew nothing and were completely ignorant of how the real world operated.
As IF!
But leon, if you inspect them, them you are denying them access to their bodies!
Stay out of their Womb, leon!
It occurs to me that whatserface’s desire to absorb your children into the collective is a cry of despair. No one would make such statements if they thought that the future was clinched by their side already. So apparently there are still too many of you rightwingers out there, breeding, and instructing your children in the Dark Ways.
The whole thing about including the community in your child’s upbringing is not wrong, but it is a mistake. I guess she doesn’t know that homeschooled kids are active parts of their community, are involved in a lot of local activities, charitable volunteerism, sports, church groups, etc.
She just doesn’t understand that these private organizations are as much or more a part of the ‘community’ than the government.
The government which is failing the kids whose care it does still oversee, incidentally.
I’ve seen those women. I wouldn’t bless their wombs with even the mildest of interest, let alone do my seed the discourtesy of deposit therein.
Also, if a woman gets an abortion and then dies of some awful infection, that’s two deaths. I can’t be against one of those and not also against the other. Opposing safe medical practice is lunacy.
http://tinyurl.com/ccdld53
I’m sure they don’t want our kids to belong to a CHURCH community, lauraw.
He’s here! That was too quick…
Everybody shut up
private organizations
These are usually outlawed at a certain point in the Glorious Revolution.
My best interviews always went quickly.
*fingers crossed
Don’t worry, Car in, soon The State will replace The Church, and everything will be fine.
Our school superintendent just quit yesterday. She’s been on the job 20 months. $250k/year. Only worked four days a week. Lived in an apartment here, kept her home in Maryland.
It’s for the kids!
$250k is a pittance for the education of our children. We should give her a raise and a $75k assistant, to get her back.
I love how when budget cuts come around, teachers lose their jobs, but their very expensive middle managers never seem to get the axe.
Our school superintendent just quit yesterday. She’s been on the job 20 months. $250k/year. Only worked four days a week.
I’m in the wrong racket. Note that I did not say business.
The previous super. was paid $188k. Some brilliant school board members believed we needed to pay this wagon more money so as to ensure her longevity.
And if anything makes my head assplode it’s hearing people refer to these paper pushers as Dr. She’s not a fucking doctor. The only thing she’s ever operated on is a sandwich.
20 months is a long time. Elephants are born in that amount of time.
PhD doctors are some of the most self absorbed people on earth. Every one of them that I know has a massive chip on their shoulder.
I don’t know why we need educated (with Master’s degrees) teacher if we have superintendents in control of education. And other administrators picking the books, etc.
The state of education is wacky world.
If you had good, educated (informed in their subject matter) teachers, you wouldn’t need but a few administrators. But then, you have to provide jobs for all those union members, so what am I thinking?
I wonder what her doctoral thesis was on. “How to wear black and not look fat.”
“How to wear black and not look fat.”
I’m just going to go ahead and say, FAIL!!!!!
She should ask Carrie. Call it research.
Where has Teresa been?
She should ask Carrie. Call it research.
I don’t want her anywhere near Carrie. That level of awful is contagious.
I got more words out of him in one night than in the previous four months. He’s back to teenage grunts, but for a while, I felt like I wasn’t screwing up as a parent.
You gotta just wait for those precious times when they open up. They really do need to know what mom and dad think, even while they go through the whole adolescent unbonding thing.
Who is Carrie?
Is that whore Lauraw around? I want to know what to do about miserable little white things all over rose bushes.
I thought he meant Kerry-Marie.
Rosetta’s favorite fat assed model (besides me).
I use that Ortho rose dust, kills mites and aphids.
Who is Carrie?
Ms. Keegan. Pictured above.
http://www.scotts.com/smg/goprod/ortho-rose-flower-insect-disease-control-concentrate/prod10730004/
But, this carrie isn’t fat and gross. She has a great body.
Somehow this conversation got derailed.
George, they are aphids. That should help you find a real gardening blog to help you.
Oh. People actually read these?
I didn’t have time to click on all the links while at home.
Ortho rose dust. Sounds like I need a box car full of it
Awesome BBF, excellent job.
You know, I may quickly run out of patience for these people.
Not as if patience is exactly my strong suit, but from my perspective, patience is often the act of watching while everything goes to shit.
These families just want “to have a conversation.” Yea, that’s how it starts. So why have they hooked up with leftist lobbyists?
Rose pests are easy. Just get that Five stuff.
These futzy aphids are making a living out of my handful of roses.
Five stuff? You mean play the aphids that talk show?
I want to know what to do about miserable little white things all over rose bushes.
Prescription from Dr. Lauraw: Rip out those stupid rosebushes and plant something that isn’t needy and overrated.
There ya go. Welcome to the world of sensible gardening. Twelve dollars, please.
Conversations derailed? Here at the H2?
The deuce you say!
Carin – Once they have served their purpose, those families will be dropped like a used condom. Just like Cindy Sheehan and any number of other useful idiots.
Beauty is important. And to some people, beauty in their environment is essential. It’s how they are wired.
Gotta go with Laura on that. Buy native heritage roses if you really want roses bushes.
Used to try to make a hobby out of hybrid teas, like my dad. Just ain’t worth it.
I got rid of my roses too. I have a lot of flowering shrubs that apparently taste like shit to aphids.
crap.It’s not five.
It’s called Sevin. I knew it was sound number sounding name. It works great.
Hybrid teas…don’t get me started. Stiff, inelegant things. Nice specimen planting, great close-up camera subject, but terrible landscape items. Just not attractive as a whole plant.
If you’re going to have roses for landscaping, those nearly wild climbing roses are the thing. Tough as old boots, and gorgeous cascading off a trellis or fence.
I fricken love rose bushes, so all the haters can shut their pie holes.
The roses merely came with the miserable money pit. Oops, I meant, “house.”
I have to tear out four large pine trees because two are threatening the foundation and two are breaking up a patio. But, the wife wants what the wife wants. That is, Mr Blandings dream house.
The knockout roses are wonderful. I don’t do many hybrids, but I do have just a couple with amazing color.
I mix them in with the grasses and other stuff, so no one notices it when it’s not in bloom it isn’t a show-stopper.
*points at Carin*
I rest my case. This shrew has atrocious taste and we all know it.
want.
They were sold out last year.
Have you guys SEEN Lauraw’s front flower bed?
Yea, the proper answer is “What front flower bed?”
With the possible exception of “Peace” which is a very beautiful, fragrant and hardy hybrid tea that has been around for a long time and isn’t too fussy.
It was named to mark the end of WWII.
I mostly have rose bushes, and climbing ones. I’m not into having to buy my flowers a winter coat to survive (those little cap things, which look, imho,horrible)
I mean, cripes – everything looks ugly enough in winter. I don’t need those white cones dotting my yard.
Greetings, infidels, Zionist occupiers, and polytheists.
True, Carin. I tore out my beautiful front flower border and gave away or composted hundreds if not thousands of dollars of mature perennial plantings, because that year my heart died and I no longer could derive joy from any of it.
Thank you for mocking my sadness and emptiness.
Look, I’ve got a beautiful garden in Detroit going to waste and disarray.
I *feel* your pain.
Roses are the spoiled toddlers of the landscaping world.
(just kidding, hon- I transferred all that energy to vegetable gardening)
That is just not true. Apart from occasionally needing to be sprayed a bit for bugs (just like my fruit trees) – I usually just plant ’em and leave them alone.
Many varieties are amazingly resilient. In fact, I’ve removed a bush TWICE from one locations, and both times it shot up a new bush from a bit of the root that remained.
lauraw’s flowerbed? You mean the place where she buries the bodies? Too much nitrogen for roses.
Heh. I used to have those white cones Carin.
The problem with roses is that it becomes a sport to try out the latest newest variety in the Jackson & Perkins catalog, which invariably tends to be prone to aphids, black spot, powdery mildew, and requires prodigious amounts of pruning, fertilizer and freeze protection.
Get a
roomgreenhouse you two.All this talk of gardening has inspired me…
*picks up goose quill and parchment*
Saw a garden, overrun with weeds. I said, not me.
Through Spring I smothered and plucked them.
In Summer my garden was blooming brilliant.
But in the slumberous warmth the weeds got ahead of me.
Have I got the will, in this heat? Oh, let them go to seed
And sleep with me under the snow
Chancing some Spring awakening!
But, my pain about my Detroit garden is real and raw
*cries
Strange, other than me spending 4.5 minutes throwing fertilizer on each rose bush, they have been no work or bother. AND they are the ONLY thing keeping me from killing myself while looking at Texas landscape, which is generally hideous. Brown, lots of shades of brown for most months of the year. Unless a space is heavily landscaped and maintained, it’s not a pretty picture here.*
*totally understand I’m spoiled when it comes to living in beautiful places
I think it was writing that poem that killed ornamental gardening for lauraw.
The mocking.
It was too much.
Yea, Mare. I have no issues with roses either.
Except, as I said, occasionally they get bugs.
But that is usually only appearance, because they can get eaten to the stems, but it still won’t kill the plant. It just won’t look as pretty.
Let your weeping cherry get bugs, and that thing will be dead w/in a year.
My gym had two beautiful weeping cherries. One got “something” – I really think it was the drought – and it was dead w/in a month. I kept telling them.
It was huge too, and beautiful.
I was mad.
I’m just referring to cultivated roses.
I have roses blooming in my yard right now. It’s this wild heat-tolerant Texas bush that everyone around here uses. Zero maintenance. It will reach out and eat your dog if the dog annoys it.
You know what I’ve *always* wanted? I will get one this summer.
AS GOD AS MY WITNESS.
A weeping mulberry. Love them in teh summer and winter. They are just loverly.
I’m looking at pictures right now.
I WANT ONE SO BAD.
*Whistles
I work at 4.
And pretty much all weekend.
My azaleas are blooming too. Those things are soldiers. I don’t think you could kill them with a flamethrower.
Living in FL and HI I’m use to planting something and BOOM it’s growing, flourishing and is plotting its takeover of the country.
Here, you have to find a plant that doesn’t mind drought, heat that sucks the life out of you and a few freezes thrown in there for fun. Oh and it must be hearty enough to stand golf ball to baseball sized hail.
“AS GOD AS MY WITNESS.”
Fear not the thorn in thy brother’s eye, for canst thou see the weeping mulberry in thine own?
Gardening blawg.
There are good reasons why Texans are a hearty and independent lot.
Y-A-W-N!
What do you want to talk about MCPO?
Plus I have four hanging baskets of petunias in full bloom. The fragrance is nice.
They’ll get wiped out by the heat, at which point I’ll get whatever else they are showing outside the door at the Tom Thumb grocery store. $7.99 per basket.
Weeping mulberry’s don’t have thorns …
I think our Summers are just too fungi-friendly for any but the most carefree roses.
http://tinyurl.com/c7rtnol
Here, you have to find a plant that doesn’t mind drought, heat that sucks the life out of you and a few freezes thrown in there for fun. Oh and it must be hearty enough to stand golf ball to baseball sized hail.
And the runty little deer won’t eat it, don’t forget that.
Verbena, lantana, coral honeysuckle, salvia, rosemary, etc. That’s why all the yards here look the same.
To my great surprise, both of my miniature citrus trees (one lime, one lemon) survived the winter again. The lime is already blooming.
Okay, Wiser, dazzle us with a conversation that doesn’t make us want to hang ourselves (and good luck with that).
hardy
Heh. Hospurt is getting a clue.
. That’s why all the yards here look the same.
No thank you.
We may have a short growing season, but we have a nice, wide variety of plants, trees, flowers that will thrive. Manicured? Fine. WIld? fine. everything in between.
I lurve it.
Wiser, show us that gif again.
Of course, no Texas yard is complete without going to the trouble of maintaining the peaceful prospect of some lilypads floating on the water, however much care it may take.
*scornful glance in the general direction of Waco*
1hearty adjective \ˈhär-tē\
heart·i·erheart·i·est
Definition of HEARTY
1
a : giving unqualified support
b : enthusiastically or exuberantly cordial : jovial
c : expressed unrestrainedly
2
a : exhibiting vigorous good health
I thought you meant ‘hardy,’ too, mare. Sounded like you meant to say that Texans were rugged or able to weather adversity.
Which we all know is bullshit.
hearty har har
I miss having lilacs. The fragrance is overwhelming, kinda like when the orange trees are blooming in Florida.
The closest thing to a really fragrant bush that survives down here is an eleagnus.
When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d—and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;
Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west,
And thought of that orphan I keep down in a cave below my house.
Sean, Walt Whitman was gay. He was in love with Lincoln.
Really, Bruce? I had never ever heard that.
*demands money back from Berkeley English Department*
I heard Lincoln had three testicles.
Said the Vicar to the nun.
You’re right, Sean, Berkely owes you money.
Leaves of Grass, I Sing the Body Electric
To be fair, he also said nice things about the female body.
And I don’t believe for a minute they did not tell you that at Berkely. Who cares? He’s one of the greatest American poets ever.
Annie Savoy liked Walt Whitman a lot. She liked the Durham Bulls, too.
Hitler has only got one ball.
Leaves of Grass, I Sing the Body Electric
Was that Walt Whitman or David Brooks after interviewing Brick Obama?
Sean, are you suggesting that Lincoln has one of Hitler’s balls?
Okay, Wiser, dazzle us with a conversation that doesn’t make us want to hang ourselves (and good luck with that).
(From the Secret Policeman’s Other Ball, btw)
The records from that period are spotty, at best, Hots.
Was that Walt Whitman or David Brooks after interviewing Brick Obama?
I’m pretty sure that Whitman did not care about the crease in a man’s pants.
Testicular trifecta?
>> I heard Lincoln had three testicles.
George Washington had like, thirty seven goddam dicks.
Brian Dennehy had thirty-eight.
I think Dave just demonstrated that we should get back to a discussion of gardening.
Ernest Borgnine had thirty nine.
Lincoln freed the slaves.
And speaking of Washington, here’s a tip:
Do not prune the lower fronds on a washingtonia rubusta palm tree (otherwise known as a Mexican skirt palm) until they are yellow. The center stalk from which new fronds come actually leaches nutrients from the old fronds, and you will inhibit growth if you prune them prematurely.
Whoops!. Sorry Sean. How’s the fuel pump?
It actually turned out to be the battery, Pups. Got it replaced on Wednesday morning.
http://tinyurl.com/cbpsd4z
Do not prune the lower fronds on a washingtonia rubusta palm tree (otherwise known as a Mexican skirt palm) until they are yellow. The center stalk from which new fronds come actually leaches nutrients from the old fronds, and you will inhibit growth if you prune them prematurely.
Oh.
Well shit.
Don’t encourage him Xbrad.
I only know that because those palms identify my house. If a neighbor asks where I live, I say “I live four doors up from Tony Romo and across the street, the house with the three Messican palms right out by the sidewalk.”
They say, “Oh yeah, I know that house. Hey Michael, you’re not supposed to put your trash out before 6 p.m. the day before pickup.”
Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.
In case you haven’t seen it,
“All for me And not a question
For the faded flowers gay
That could take me from beside you
For the ages of a day?
They are yours, and be the measure
Of their worth for you to treasure,
The measure of the little while
That I’ve been long away.”
~ Robert Frost
There Once Was A Man From Nantucket…
yummy
SLAAAYERRR!
\m/ >_< \m/
HA!
Why does Tushar slap people?
Exactly.
Did you eat all your carrot sticks so you could get cookies and milk for dessert, MJ?
He’s practicing for when his kids make fun of his accent.
I brought a salad.
The kids are so cute and well behaved. I think Catholic schools don’t take shit.
Thank you! Come again!
/Apu
Oh, so it’s okay when HE does it…
http://tinyurl.com/d2vtlxf
I brought a salad.
Orly?
Haha, Salon says there is no Gosnell coverup. They covered it in 2011.
So they’re good.
Nice.
The kids at Lake Michigan Catholic were very gracious when I beat them at Science Olympiad. I think they took gold in 90% of the events in our region.
But not mine.
The closest thing to a really fragrant bush that survives down here is
* ponders “Should I or shouldn’t I?”.
Kerrie Marie!
Doc in a van who works on non-human patients has more compliance requirements than killing babies inside a live woman.
Silly leon, everyone knows that abortion is simpler than getting one’s ears pierced. Thus little girls can get one without parental consent. Easy and safe as biting off a hang nail.
Do they really do this in Minnesota?
Drunk sorority chicks do that everywhere, Cyn.
Plan B, too, beasn. Nothing like giving teenage girls a bunch of hormones.
When all is said and done, hormonal birth control is going to end up having as much of an effect on the human genome as an ice age or the Black Plague.
Hoo boy. What a day.
Sooooo… How’d your interview go?
Ace’s, The End of The Hook-Up Culture? is really good. Really good.
It will only end for a generation. Rampant promiscuity is cyclical.
>> Do they really do this in Minnesota?
I’m willing to go find out.
I think I nailed it Cyn, the HR lady liked me.
Did you suggest that you were willing to do anything to get the job, Scott? HR ladies love that shit.
Well done, Scott. First try out of the gate and you don’t forget to zip up your pants!
Niiiiiiiice.
I was a bit nervous on the way over until I decided that THEY should be the nervous ones.
That’s super, Scott!
You went with the mankini didn’t you… works eeeeevery time.
Care to tell us about the gig?
They’d be lucky to have you, Scott!
Hey, xbradtc, sitting there with a shit eating grin:
http://tinyurl.com/buup2lo
Rosetta?
http://tinyurl.com/bl5yyua
the HR lady liked me.
Nice, but they don’t make the decision.
Send a Thank You follow-up note, before the end of TODAY. If they didn’t meet right after you left to rate you against other candidates, this note will have some impact.
I have no idea Cyn. It’s Lowe’s, I am going to let them decide.
It’s a perfect fit for me though. I will still be able to keep my customers happy, and Lowe’s will give us insurance.
until I decided that THEY should be the nervous ones
You didn’t use your CCW permit as I.D., did you?
I did that at the bank a week ago. Got the dweeb behind the desk to sit up straight and get to business.
It’s Lowe’s,
Not the Gardening Dept., I hope.
http://www.kens5.com/home/NB-police-say-rattler-left-in-backpack-may-have-been-on-purpose-202024871.html
very not cool
I have
fingerseverything crossed for you, Scott, and I hope that you hear from them soon.I have everything crossed for you, Scott
I’d loosen those bra straps. You don’t want to cut off circulation to those puppies….
Did anyone else surrender someone else’s freedoms for the illusion of security today?
very not cool
Agreed. Up here, we have recently had a spate of those bottle bombs – harmless looking soda bottles filled with a mixture that explodes when disturbed. Some found near a school.
Did anyone else surrender someone else’s freedoms for the illusion of security today?
Not yet. Do you have some freedom to spare that I could surrender? I’m feeling a little insecure at the moment.
Later, you bunch of racist haters. Enjoy your weekend.
Right back atcha, redneck nazi wifebeater.
Damnit. Missed AD.
Answering machine says the HR lady at Canon wants me to call her.
That one sounded too good to be true.
Tito’s it is.
racist haters
I’m more of a cultural Darwin-ist. It’s not my fault that it comes off looking like racism.
Afternoon.
Despite the lack of she cock, this post is pretty good.
Answering… machine…? Is that like voicemail?
No, it’s not.
My last answering machine died back when Rumsfeld was SecDef.
*ears perk up*
Tito’s?
Tito has a band with a giant spider:
Despite the lack of she cock, this post is pretty good.
I’m right here.
No habla tarantula.
Heh, looks like Beckel dropped another F bomb on The Five.
Keeping fingers crossed for Scott.
We are so freaking busy right now, it’s insane.
We could take out FUCK YOU WE DON’T WANT ANY MORE WORK ad’s and it would bring in business.
I expect to be hired soon, that’s just how it works.
Thanks finger crossers, and all of the rest of you crossers.
He’s right. It’s hilarious. Here’s some business advice that is guaranteed to bring you a tidal wave of work: Decide to give up and close your doors.
What did you build today, Jewstin?
http://tinyurl.com/bsrb8m4
RIP Jonathan Winters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1mV_5-bRPo
>> Right back atcha, redneck nazi wifebeater.
Hey, who you calling a nazi?
DAVE
*pounces*
I’m back. scott – did you call the HR lady?
RUN! Dave RUN!
What’s wrong with garden? That looks like a perfect summer job for Laura before going back to school.
*spins to my left, prepares to catch you gracefully, twists my ankle and goes down in a heap right before you smash me in the guts and knock the wind out*
hi
…
did you hurt yourself?
She’s good – she landed on the hump. No, not you.
Are you gonna send laura in your place if it is in the Garden dept.?
I drove through pouring rain and sleet for 3 hours on the way to MA to see my family today. My sister is having her 50th birthday party this weekend.
I might add, my 197 pound guts (now).
…
Why are they still flabby? I was told under 200 was the no flab tummy range.
PROMISES WERE MADE
My BiL has the best TV I’ve ever seen. Awesome clarity.
I don’t know what that means.
I was told under 200 was the no flab tummy range.
Only for those above a certain height…..
Jimbro. where are you (roughly) in MA this weekend?
Wrentham, in a neighborhood of McMansions! I’ll see my mom and dad down in Middleborough where they’re living nowadays.
* scratches head *
* puts finger to wind *
Oh, I get it.
DONT DO DRUGS
Don’t drop acid in the garden center, the Pepsi machine isn’t working.
I’m Back! Did you miss me?
((scans comments))
Oh, you didn’t…
*struggles like a beetle turned on its back*
Keep kickin.
Pretty sure they don’t drug test concrete workers. Yikes. They’re nice but man….
use your laigs Laura.. use your laigs!
*collapses in a coughing fit*
Did anybody install anybody else as the head of a puppet regime today?
Meeting with the lawyer was not fun…I will spare the details, except to note, California is so broke, the courts are two years behind, so lawyers arrange something called “private arbitration”…I don’t know how I feel about that. just kinda numb right now.
*Anger Management Puppet raises little yarn hand*
yes, Lauraw?
Yes, Laura?
Sean, you may find this interesting.
http://www.popehat.com/2013/04/12/charles-carreon-encounters-actual-legal-consequences/
Job in the VI passed. Damn.
Sorry to hear that MJ
Ahh…poo! MJ, sorry man!
well, fuck. Sorry MJ
Just curious: Did they reference the man-kini at all?
Sean, you may find this interesting.
Awesome. It warms my black little heart when bad things happen to bad people.
No worries. Good experience.
Longest married couple in US finally separated
Well shit, MJ. There go my vacation plans.
So, he finally got tired of her shit and snuffed her?
Xbrad, supposedly her last words were “YOU LEFT THE SEAT UP AGAIN!”
Did you wear Bermuda shorts to the interview, MJ? Because the Virginians and the Bermudese are bitter enemies.
Bummed for ya, MJ.
Well, the people in the VI can go screw themselves. Evidently they don’t get that MJ could have kicked ass for them.
I HATE THEM!!!!
Cyn?
Who’s your friend?
http://tinyurl.com/ckga7a4
“I HATE THEM!!!!”
Unless they realize they made a mistake and decide to hire you!
Good, mare. Let the hate flow through you.
Sean,
I WILL DESTROY THEM ALL!!!
Job in the VI passed.
Fuck them.
On a totally unrelated note, I spent several minutes trying to figure out who Job the sixth was.
Antipope.
Haaa ha ha haaaa Pups!
He was the Pope of Drywall.
Mare!
http://tinyurl.com/cfmo9sy
Tony Dey Took My Tumb Off IV. The Pope of Greenwich Village
http://tinyurl.com/cx5taqt
Sorry to hear about the gig, MJ.
Those wipes in VI will rue their decision. RUE I TELL YOU.
Meanwhile, from the Popehat linky, I have GOT to use the word “vexatious” on someone soon. It just tickles me so.
Holy Schnikes! Houstonians take their drinking seriously. I went to a liquor store a few blocks from here. I swear there were 200 people in line to check out!
With 20 cashiers the line moved quickly. But I never saw such a thing!
Twenty Cashiers at a Liquor Store?? That is serious bidness.
Self-referential XbradTC link:
http://xbradtc.com/2013/04/12/heh-21/#comment-44736
Eh, it was whether or not I was had the personality that could fit in with the group.
Probably shouldn’t have asked how close the nearest meth lab was to the office and whether or not I’d have time to get a BJ from your mom at lunch.
I really don’t see the issue, but whatevs.
I forgot the link Miss Cyn
http://www.specsonline.com/
I heard from a job I applied for in January that they were still considering me today.
I nicely said I would have been happy to move there in January. I moved to Texas for a job in March so thank you for considering me, but I am no longer available.
Texas has weird liquor laws. They’re probably stocking up for some weird 78 hour period wherein they can only buy mouthwash.
Probably shouldn’t have asked how close the nearest meth lab was to the office and whether or not I’d have time to get a BJ from your mom at lunch.
Atta boy. Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.
I forgot the link Miss Cyn
http://www.specsonline.com/
Ahh; Blue all day Sunday, I see. With tomorrow being the last day open for the week, it’s probably less nuts on a Friday night than Saturday.
Then again, it’s always cheaper to get liquored up at home and then go bar hopping after. I heard.
Wait… didn’t you say you’d gone booze-free for a few weeks now, Vmax and that you wanted to keep that up? Or is this a celebratory deal?
Vman, powerball drawing is tonight.
Awwww
I think Texas is the other lottery Mundy.
Yes Cyn over 2 weeks without a drink. I am going to try Friday nights drink night and see how that works.
Cyn,
Where is that leopard from?
No response,
NYTOL…
A Friday cheers to you then, Vman!
—–
It’s a baby jaguar, Chris. He/She’s a cutie!
Oops… Found the pic at Reddit.
Partner’s 25th anniversary with the company. 19 people/$2,200. Wish Carin had been our food bringer.
Fun time, ‘Spur?
CarIn woulda kicked ass.
Going shopping, Mare?
Yeah, it was great. Brazilian joint. The food just kept coming and coming. We had a private dining room, so we were able to cut it loose.
Nice X!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbv1djFeLD1qa1m48o1_500.jpg
Wow with the photoshopping!
Vmax, you like Ducattis?
It was a surprise party. I’ve known Carl for 25 years, and you do not pull shit over on him.
Hahahaha
I’ve never seen someone look so bewildered when he first walked in.
Sounds yummy, ‘Spur. I hope Hotbride got to join you.
HAHA! That makes it even better!
Gaucho in Livonia?
Yep, Cyn, we sat and held hands all night. It is so nice to have her back home after all of these years.
Yes, Leon. Have you been there?
It is so nice to have her back home after all of these years.
Awwwww, so very sweet.
Hotspur is still alive? Methuselah!!
How’s life my friend?
Life is great, Rosetta. I miss you.
Cyn, here’s the pic before they p-shopped it.
http://tinyurl.com/bt47opb
Yes, Leon. Have you been there?
A half-dozen times. Went for my birthday in December. Great food.
Cyn, here’s the pic before they p-shopped it.
i ~KNEW~ it!
Hi Rosie!
I miss you too buddy. When’s the next meat up of idiots? I need some face time with you losers to make me feel better about myself.
Cyn, you’re up.
PARTY AT CYN’S HOUSE!!!
I could do Cyn’s house.
Hi Zekexas! Who are you and why does your avatar look like a glory hole?
Must be Dave.
I could do Cyn’s house.
Cyn’s house is a whore so you’re not exactly splitting the atom there.
Cyn should be having a giant party in the middle of winter, not the spring.
Way to fuck shit up, Cyn.
*takes Cyn out of will*
Zetta! Your pink coolots are stunning. WANT!
I’ve been chattering now and again about something here, or a Vegas meat.
*set Rosetta’s face on fire with lighter fluid and a bazooka*
I miss you too, you dick. I’ll show up at any next meetup.
If you assholes tell me I have to jump in the fountain again there will be words.
Zekexas is Vmax after he finally got the last bullwhip out of his ass.
I hear ya about the winter. My bad. But crazy expensive here until the end of this month.
hell I’m going to Vegas cause Cyn said so
Cyn, just pick a spot – any spot.
Heh Rosie don’t listen to Hotspur
Zeke and I moved to Texas so I am calling myself Zekexas for a while.
If you assholes tell me I have to jump in the fountain again there will be words.
http://bit.ly/Xxv9L1
I think I am closer to StL now and actually have coin in my pocket.
Zekexas is Vmax after he finally got the last bullwhip out of his ass.
Hahahahahaha! I’ll be glad when Henry gets a job in a coal mine in a couple of years so I can hang out here more. I miss fucking around with everyone.
Hotspur, how is your smoking-hot chick? I miss her too. She’s outstanding in the field of awesome persons.
Sorry about the VI, MJ.
oh kay FINE. I’d jump in the Bellagio pool if Cyn asked.
I’ll need some bail $
HotBride is great. Started a new job yesterday, and she’s already making things look easy.
I’m going to be pretty busy with mom’s treatments I expect pretty soon. I wouldn’t be able to do a meat until probably June or July at best, if at all, so someone else will have to step up to the plate this year. I’ll take the reigns another time.
I miss you too, you dick. I’ll show up at any next meetup.
If you assholes tell me I have to jump in the fountain again there will be words.
Dave, you’ll get in the fountain and you’ll like it. What clown-vomit-colored Hawaiian shirt are you wearing RIGHT NOW!?!?!
My favorite is the yellow one with the purple douche-bags on it.
MJ got a venereal infection?
That’s a shame.
Zeke and I moved to Texas so I am calling myself Zekexas for a while.
Sorry…I’ve been out of the loop buddy. What are you and Zeke doing in Texas? What’s your new gig?
A meat up in Vegas frightens me. I’m pretty sure most of us need not be together in a place where hookers, drugs, gambling and toad-licking are all legal and encouraged.
**tackles Rosetta, pours a pitcher of caipiranhas down his throat**
‘Bout time you found your way back here.
HotBride is great. Started a new job yesterday, and she’s already making things look easy.
Not surprising. Despite her being married to you I hold her in very high esteem. She is of the highest caliber. Please tell her I said hello.
I’m pretty sure most of us need not be together in a place where hookers, drugs, gambling and toad-licking are all legal and encouraged.
You’re not my real dad!
Rosie
On Saturday I left for Houston. On Sunday I arrived. On Monday I looked at apartments. On Tuesday I payed for one. On Wednesday I moved in, and on Thursday I started my new job. I get paid on the 1st for 12 days. I am a overtime whore and make more money than god on overtime.
What the….DELICIOUS CAIPIRANHAS!!
*tackles Hot Rocket, gives her the “Gerolamo Cardano”*
>> What clown-vomit-colored Hawaiian shirt are you wearing RIGHT NOW!?!?!
Hairy testicles, orange bald heads.
I call it “asshole shirt”.
Time to sleeps..work tomorrow. i love you all. Except you Rosetta.
…
ok just kiddin,
What’s your job, Vmaximus? I’m happy for you man. You’ve been due for good things for a while.
How’s Zeke handling the move?
Who’s the new guy?
Has anyone asked him how many bullwhips he has up his ass?
You’re not my real dad!
GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!
I thought of Rosie at the liquor store tonight.
They had 20 Capiranhans or more.
Shiny new poat is up.
Goodnight Dave.
Those pajamas kinda make you look gay.
http://tinyurl.com/c8g7eyl
And the hopping. The hopping also makes you look gay.
What’s wrong with garden? That looks like a perfect summer job for Laura before going back to school.
Yea, until the store can’t figure out why it’s sold out of vegetable stuff, and can’t move a bit of the perennials/annuals. l
I am a Civil designer Rosie. In the Land development department.
I make subdivisions 3 a week.50 to 500 lots.
I thought of Rosie at the liquor store tonight.
They had 20 Capiranhans or more.
Ooof. Those are delicious until they melt your organs.
FUGUE YOU!!
http://tinyurl.com/ckfznl2
Goodnight my friend.
I’ll always cherish that pic you sent me in the mail cause you can’t do the internets.
http://tinyurl.com/cx4ffv2
I am a Civil designer Rosie. In the Land development department.
I make subdivisions 3 a week.50 to 500 lots.
Excellent! Well done. I’m happy for you Vman.
I would also be an overtime whore. Make some bank for a rainy day fund.
And by “rainy day fund” I mean cocaine and hookers in Vegas at that meat up.
There. Is. A. New. Poat. U. Stupid. Fuck.