Marriage Made-in

Jimmie was yik-yakkin‘ about paraphilias t’other day.

I think i did a post on that a while back.

Mrs J’monkey was raffing out roud last night (whore moufs shut) about some chick that married a carnival ride named Bruce.

In Sudan, there is a law that dictates that if a man is caught sleeping with a woman, he must marry her immediately to save the honor of her family. In 2006, the law was applied to a goat. Charles Tombe was caught having relations with the goat and was forced to marry it, and pay a dowry to its owner, as a form of public embarrassment.


  1. Banana hammock

  2. Public Service Announcement:

    Chelsea Handler is doing a “comedy” tour, called Vaccinated and Horny.

    If she’s in your area boil your water and wash your hands after going out in public.

  3. Good morning Mare!

    Most of us missed you in your absence

    (glares at a few pitiful derelicts)

  4. Wakey wakey

  5. How is she allowed to call what she does “comedy”?

  6. I’m fortunate to recognize her name and associate her with being a dumbass but am otherwise unfamiliar with why we should GAF about her opinion on anything other than which fruits and vegetables serve best as bull whip substitutes.

  7. I can make the same claim with countless celebs and blue checkmark people that show up telling me how to best live my life

  8. MARE!!!!!!


  10. Chelsea Handler has had more cock in her than all yalls moms combined. Plus she’s an alcoholic. Thus, her opinions on everything are valid.

  11. Made, good to see you. I’ve been worried that you finally realized you were too good to hang out here with us deviates.

  12. elliot isn’t eating, has thrown up last 2 mornings, and is just lethargic.

  13. morning mare!

  14. I made the mistake of signing up for emails from The Western Journal. The articles themselves are okay, no problem there. I figured I’d get a daily email and either read it or hit delete like 90% of other emails I receive. Nope. Emails every couple of hours all damn day which is way too much. I tried to unsubscribe and it took about a week of unsubscribing from all of their various emails until it went away. This week they’re back … I’ve unsubscribed from about 6 so far.

  15. J’ames, emergency vet? 👋🏻🐴

  16. Is he still drinking and peeing? If so I’d wait it out a little longer but given the approaching holiday weekend it might not make sense. Tough one to decide upon

  17. Other Chelsea Handler news

  18. not emergency, but Mrs Jay is going to take him in if she can get an appointment. He is drinking, and peeing. Got the rug doctor last night to clean up the mess in the basement from the first night, ugh. At least I’m not keeping that carpet. He’s not even eating his poop treats.

    He did eat a little bit yesterday, along with some pumpkin, which he likes. but looks like that was on the floor this am. He didn’t want to go for a walk last night, either. Just sat on his pillows and stared at me when I asked, haha.

  19. We’re getting the shitpen expanded and the fence guys are here today. That means nonstop barking all day while they’re here. Rowan is the ringleader and after 45 minutes of his running from window to window and barking like a lunatic I had to put a leash on him and tie it to an immovable piece of furniture away from windows. That, combined with noise reduction headphones, is what will get me through this trying time. Of course Paula went to work and didn’t get to enjoy the symphony.

  20. If you were the russians, and you wanted to blackmail Hunter Biden, what would you do different than what is being leaked on his computer?

  21. It’s a trio, right? Love me some harmonies.

    Maybe Sobek can review it.

  22. Poor little fella. Maybe put some broth in the water so he gets his electrolytes?

  23. A nice little trick to get some food in sick dogs and cats is to feed them baby food. Plain pureed chicken or turkey, maybe thinned out with a little water. They lap it right up. If he ate something that’s making a blockage in the gut it probably still won’t be a problem.

  24. Oddly enough, when Rowan is quiet, the other two calm right the fuck down

  25. that’s what the pumpkin is for. I should try his favorite, chicken and rice.

    But his frozen food is almost all chicken, and some sweet potato. I’m sure it’s just something he ate on a walk. He’s always chomping on something, usually a bone of some sort.

    Reminds me not to put the dead carcasses of animals in the waste bucket again. It’s in the sun sometimes, and no matter how many bags it is in you will smell it. It’s easier in the winter, just let it freeze.

  26. In Star’s last few weeks the Vet prescribed some sort of canned dog food that was easy to digest. She recovered for a little while but not before getting us on the canned food train. After Star died we mixed kibble and canned food for over a year, first with Rowan, then adding Lola and finally with Ollie joining the pack. About 6 months ago we had had enough of the dog and pony show and now they get kibble only and occasional people food.

  27. Ugh. I don’t miss it when Dorkus used to get in the trash. For a while we used to have to leave the kitchen bin in the porch if he was being left home alone for any time.

  28. Depending on the day of the week and its proximity to the dump run I’ll sometimes put meat wrappers and such in a gallon ziploc bag to decrease the stench.

  29. We had to get locking trash cans for the kitchen and bathrooms

  30. We went with Ollie (I should say Mrs went with Ollie, I wasn’t involved haha). He was given specific amounts. We stuck to that , and he was losing weight. Had to supplement with another serving of dry when Mrs gets home from work. she starts early, so gets home early.

  31. he has been eating one type of plant all the time lately, especially when he goes outside to pee.

  32. Do you have any pokeweed, Jay? Our chickens will eat it if I give it, but it can make them sick. It’s the only exception I’ve found so far to the “if they eat it it’s probably safe for them” rule.

  33. no, that isn’t the plant.

  34. he’s been eating this particular one for a long time.

  35. SCOTUS told EPA to fuck off.

  36. Here’s hoping that precedent will get those assholes out of the Permian Basin, Tim.

  37. Dammit Jay, I was 2 seconds away from posting that

  38. But we get fucked on immigration. Of course it would be something.

  39. How many Christine Blaisey Fords to the commies have in their bullpen?

  40. you’re out of shape, jimbro, gotta be nimble!

  41. Someone replied to my comment on twitter: never mind the physical layout of the vehicle making this darn near impossible

    twitter: Nice try at denying basic facts

    My comment is next, as his reply. *walks away, shaking my head

  42. Daily Beast is just daring me to watch “The Terminal List”

    Hope it’s half as good as Maverick. Which would still be awesome.

  43. Title of article for those not wanting to give Daily Beast a click:

    Chris Pratt’s ‘The Terminal List’ Is an Unhinged Right-Wing Revenge Fantasy

  44. elliot isn’t eating, has thrown up last 2 mornings, and is just lethargic.


    Sounds like he’s pregnant.

  45. Daily Wire signs Jordan Peterson to Dailywire+

    Isn’t it already a paid service? Come on!

  46. weird, he hasn’t come out as trans

  47. seems that you get Daily Wire + with your current membership.

  48. I wonder where Daily Wire hosts from. I know Rumble is making headway, Tim Pool uses them. Others are migrating from Youtube and Amazon.

  49. I got a hard-on watching the trailer and I don’t even have a dick.

  50. So I buy an alternative milk product which has been $3.48/quart for a while now. Two weeks ago, while at Walmart, I stocked up (you have to when you see it, it’s not alwaysin stock), wondering when I was going to see a jump in price.

    Yesterday I checked, thinking I’d grab more but…nope. The price not only jumped, it pole vaulted. $5.19.
    Fucking uni-party.

  51. Car in, my comment to one of your lefty friends on FB disappeared. I have zero patience for the stupid shit that comes out of CY’s head.

  52. Someone else mentioned that comments disappeared. She erases her comments (and thus the replies) when she sticks her foot in it.

  53. I am starting to feel bad about Carrie. I think she may be mentally deficient.

  54. she’s certainly angry when challenged.

  55. Remain In Mexico policy is gone. Too bad we can’t apply other laws that are already on the books.

  56. If all you saw of the US from outside was our TV and our government, you’d be perfectly justified in considering us an evil empire.

  57. Well, she’s angry a LOT.

  58. If all you saw of the US from outside was our TV and our government, you’d be perfectly justified in considering us an evil empire.

    I’ve thought this’ll same thing for many a year.

  59. we are not a serious nation

    PolitiFact rates this as “False”: we are a seriously stupid clown nation.

  60. She erases her comments (and thus the replies) when she sticks her foot in it.

    The other one to Alice was still there last time I checked. Maybe Carrie reported my comment to the reptiles running FB for hate speech, and they disappeared it.

    It told her to be a effing adult, know her body, and double up the birth control if she can’t control herself…also to hold her partner accountable…she doesn’t need a wiener to be satisfied…etc…noone ever died from not getting a wiener.

  61. heh, well played mitch. I might delete the emails calling for your banning, all suspiciously from Michigan, Carolina, Florida, CT, and other places.

  62. Women making demands to be respected and refusing to put out for every Tom, Dick, and Mike that saunters along is how THIS WAS ALL SUPPOSED TO WORK. It’s how things used to work, when they were working well.

    It’s time to invest in latex futures.

  63. …noone ever died from not getting a wiener.

    *Watches forlornly as all my propaganda efforts are undermined by beasn*

  64. IKR, geoff, what a fun hater.

  65. Lumps, that’s pretty much what I told the other goof in the comments…there being consequences to having sex…women should grow up, make better choices, hold men in their lives accountable. Do that and one might find you valuable enough to want to stick around…

  66. Not quite a fun hater…if ol Carrie can show her partner how to use his hands to tune her piano IYKWIM, she might use hers to buff his flute.

  67. No babies will ever be hurt….

  68. Buff Flute would be a good pr0n name.

  69. Let’s talk about wenus shortages: Never. It’s never happened. A bald old one-legged woman on Antarctica? She can still find someone technically of the same species to do the deed. That’s what’s so dumb about all this stuff. The demand is all on the other side of the equation, and these stupid women have been programmed to provide endless supply and keep the cost down.

    Just, dumb. It’s not only wrong, it’s a mistake.

  70. supply side sex

  71. Related to today’s topic:

  72. I have thoughts on that video, a lot resonated with me, but I try not to share black pills anymore.

  73. Oso bait

  74. “”noone ever died from not getting a wiener.””
    Worry not Geoff –
    When Mitch does the politifact search he will find this to be mostly false because beasssnzs doesn’t know dick…. Or at least she doesn’t know if everyone who didn’t “know” dick didn’t ultimately die a sad and dickless death.
    As our mentor and chief His Most Royal Shitzhizpantz likes to remind us:
    “In a universe of infinite possibilities, anything is possible. And dickless lives matter!”.
    Also beaszenzes is a crazy bible clinging winger and as we all know(and the fact checkers remind us) THOSE ppl are always wrong.

  75. Aww…Thanks for the Oso bait.

  76. A bald old one-legged woman on Antarctica

    You have her number?

  77. I can’t believe you guys have been hiding this streaming tv internet thing from me.

  78. I’ve got Terminal List ready to go tomorrow.

  79. what was it you got to improve speeds?

  80. Going to laugh like crazy if Fauci gets taken out by his own creation.

  81. We went to the Fawlty Towers Dinner Experience tonight. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. Both Mr. RFH and I got picked on by “Basil”. I didn’t finish all of my potatoes, so he kept haranguing me about them and that I was holding my fork in the wrong hand. Mini-me ate the potato, Mr RFH looked guilty, so Basil got another dish of potatoes and glared at me. Manuel was great, too.

  82. Roamy, sounds awesome.

  83. American political life is getting so bad that our politicians are almost non-blackmailable. Whatever they are guilty of, nobody in America is surprised nor do Americans seem to give a shit. Pretty soon the rank and file dems are going to admit they know about Arkancide and that they’re good with it.

  84. Vladimir Zelenko died.
    Allegedly of cancer. Think my sister said she saw that it was a rare one he came down with in ’18.

    Protein wisdom got his covid treated by him. Hospitals used his HCQ, zinc , azithromycin protocol.

  85. Cancer of the heart..spread to the hip.

  86. Pulmonary artery sarcoma.

  87. I went from Hughsnet to T-Mobil’s 5-G home. Hughsnet’s speed will let me watch a movie or two, and then I’m out of bandwidth. This is unlimited.

  88. It is new in my area, and still limited availability. I checked a few months back and it wasn’t here yet. Now it it. So excited. For some reason my phone is working better today. It could be they JUST installed the tower and it was just a lucky coincidence on my part.

  89. We’ve been signed up for Starlink for years. Even put a deposit down when they first accepted them. No idea when we might get it. A guy 20 miles away just got two. He didn’t sign up, or put down a deposit, just knows a guy who knows a guy, evidently. Mine probably went to Ukraine…..

  90. I signed up for starlink too/deposit. But this is working really well. I may get my deposit back.

  91. starlink seems to be focusing on more rural areas first. I’m rural in a pocket that gets other options a few miles away, so apparently fuck me. lol.

  92. Going to laugh like crazy if Fauci gets taken out by his own creation.

    The golem always returns to the rabbi in the stories…

  93. I’m extremely rural. The only option is a slow satellite with extremely limited bandwidth, but at least it’s really expensive. I also know people in Nashville, and ABQ who have it, so the rural internet stuff is bullshit.

  94. I’m in East Bumfuck corn country but our electrical co-op offers 100 gigabit ethernet.

  95. Friend in Chana has Starlink. She loves it.

  96. Chama. Stoopid autocucumber


    (Imgur video with sound)

  98. elliot has pancreatitus. so meds for a week and chicken and rice, much to his delight. eating a bit, and just crop dusted me bad. good thing the nausea meds work well

  99. there’s a virus going around so of course he doesn’t have that

  100. Good job catching that early.

  101. Not eating for a few days is usually good for pancreatitis. Little guy was listening to his gut.

  102. I’ve never heard of dogs getting pancreatitis.

    Good thing I’m not a Vet.

  103. Fence guys knocked off around 3 with half the job left to go. That means the dogs have to go out one at a time at night to avoid them catching a scent and running off into the woods to meet Pepe LePew. I’m sure they’ll get it done tomorrow which is good. I’m dreading this weekend with them cowering from firecrackers.

  104. Crank bluegrass music.

  105. Dogs love it.

  106. vet said that he shouldn’t have fatty human food, fries, etc. No shit. he gets them as a treat, not a meal. Mrs. is all in on no scraps, nothing human. I said pump the brakes, it’s moderation like everything else. He’s not eating a half pound of fat at a sitting.

    Plus, you don’t even know what he manages to stuff in his face on walks.

  107. he is a lot peppier today. just got back from a short walk. he’s not back to normal but the pain meds really helped, along with fluids. He was drinking all along, though.

  108. Got back to support group for first time in a month or more. Really needed it.

  109. tucker interviewing Bolsonaro from Brazil is interesting. Like Hungary, he’s not anything like what I’ve read.

  110. do doggehs like bluegrass? Elliot likes when I sing, he howls along

  111. Bolsonaro and Orban are both fighting for their people against the WEF. May they prevail and their people prosper.

  112. Jay, our red dog used to tremble and pant and suffer during the neighborhood 4th of July explosions SO badly. We found that shutting up the windows and doors and playing bluegrass loudly in the living room would calm her down so well that she would actually spread out under the coffee table and get some sleep.

    We figure her mom’s owner used to play it when she was a puppy, but who knows?

  113. Doris elbowed Roy’s paunch.

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