Happy Birthday to scottw! What kind of gift should we get our little man?
1) Something for work.
2) Something for fun.
3) Or just a nice apron for cleaning around the house.
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I wrote that song in Portland. Anyway, today’s model is something of a sensation in British men’s magazines. She was born 27 years ago in a little town called Stoke-on-Trent. Throw an ‘r’ in that first word and anyone named Trent would avoid that town. Please welcome today’s ogling fare, Alice Goodwin!!!
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I’m skipping the test today so that I can smoke cigarettes with the burnouts and talk shit about Ms. Perez, the Spanish teacher. I’m pretty sure she’s got something going on with Ms. Loeb, the 26 year old math teacher because every time I see them together they look like this.
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912 – Alexander becomes Emperor of the Byzantine Empire.
1310 – In France, fifty-four members of the Knights Templar are burned at the stake as heretics.
1820 – Launch of HMS Beagle, the ship that took Charles Darwin on his scientific voyage.
1857 – Indian Revolution: Indian rebels seize Delhi from the British.
1858 – Minnesota is admitted as the 32nd U.S. State.
1907 – 32 Shriners are killed when their chartered train derails.
1927 – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is founded.
1960 – In Buenos Aires, Argentina, four Israeli Mossad agents capture fugitive Nazi Adolf Eichmann who is living under the alias of Ricardo Klement.
1987 – In Baltimore, Maryland, the first heart-lung transplant takes place.
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So what do you nice people have planned for the weekend? Mare? Car in? I’ll be doing some of this and a little of that. And maybe something like this.
452 Comments
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
Mother fuckin’ bootleg titties.
Ahhh – TIME is trying to show the world how sick and depraved HOMESCHOOLING moms are (it’s conveniently left out of the “conversation”, but it’s buried in the article).
It’s their SOP – show Conservatives as a bunch of loonies (even though most of us are shuddering at that pic).
Listen, you wanna breastfeed your kid that long? Be my guest.
Just don’t bring it out in public view…..
(The mom was breastfed until she was 6)
well, we now know why MJ was in Portland.
He was there for a photo shoot.
http://tinyurl.com/d3g9c98
———————————-
This belongs in the comment hall of fame.
Okay, Bootleg Fireworks made me laugh my ass off.
Bootleg Fireworks, Nigga!!!!
Hah, well done, MJ! Don’t go Washington Post and make any unnoted corrections!
She’s… stunning.
No, really.
Real tits! Hooooorrrraaaaaaaaaaaay!
Who ARE you and what have you done with MJ???!!!??1??
Any news on Chief’s granddaughter’s impending arrival?
Very nicely done today, MJ – I agree with Cyn; she’s quite lovely.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOTT!!!
Throw an ‘r’ in that first word and anyone named Trent would avoid that town.
On the contrary, they would flock to it 😉
For scott:
Events:
Christopher Columbus leaves for his fourth and final voyage to the West Indies.
>Captain Robert Gray becomes the first documented white person to sail into the Columbia River.
American Civil War: The ironclad CSS Virginia is scuttled in the James River northwest of Norfolk, Virginia.
One of the three days of the Feast of the Lemures.
Births:
Petrus Camper, Dutch anatomist
Chang and Eng Bunker, Thai/American conjoined twins
Foster Brooks, American actor and comedian
Haroun Tazieff, French volcanologist
John DeStefano, Jr., American politician
Peter North, Canadian pornographic actor
Jirapong Meenapra, Thai sprinter
Deaths:
None of any real note for humor potential.
She seems nice. She also seems really pretty.
SWEET REGIS, that chick is smoking hawt, MJ.
Nice job, little guy!
http://tinyurl.com/ctdfe2h
Real tits! Hooooorrrraaaaaaaaaaaay!
Hmmmm – after looking at that video that MJ linked, I think we may have to get a ruling from the judge on this one…..
She also seems really pretty.
yes. “seems”
*schedules mare for optometrist appointment
I don’t want to know where MJ got the gif of the guy in the doctor’s office.
I don’t want to know where MJ got the gif of the guy in the doctor’s office.
MCPO’s last physical.
Well done on the chick and the links today, MJ!
Special reward: http://is.gd/3ha9zT
Hahahaha
Speaking of MCPO, I wonder if he is headed my way.
Mother fuckin’ bootleg titties.
Ha ha ha …
My husband will be so happy to know he contributed to H2 lore.
MFBLFW.
HAHA! Banglar Party Vanz! Well done, wiserbuns!
I think that might be my favorite all time video.
Let’s have some Motha Fuckin Bootleg Fireworks at Carin’s.
Pat and the guys at the shop started every day with that video for weeks and weeks.
It’s definitely in the same league as Double Rainbow.
Let’s have some Motha Fuckin Bootleg Fireworks at Carin’s.
——————————-
She already told me it was ok. And the potato gun. And the asian hookers (female). Ok, maybe I slipped that last one in there.
She already told me it was ok. And the potato gun. And the asian hookers (almostfemale). Ok, maybe I slipped that last one in there.
FTFLeon.
I’ll bring the Body Fluid Cleanup Kit™.
For Carin.
Fuck Body Fluid Cleanup Kits!!!111!!1!!
I’ll bring the Body Fluid Cleanup Kit™.
Best Bus Ride Evah!
Fuck B
ouddy Fluid Cleanup Kits!!!111!!1!!FTFY
How’s it going Cyn? I haven’t been around much.
How’s it going Cyn? I haven’t been around much.
Cyn.. look down…. he’s talking to you
We don’t need no stinkin trucknutz!
If you guys get a minute, you should check out the comments at DK about Romney being a bully.
—————-
He and his friends bullied and assaulted a member of an oppressed minority with a deadly weapon.
The mere fact that he can even find a defender is disgusting and disturbing.
—————-
I’ve been bullied and will never forget the meanness.
He’s mean, cold, uncaring and; most frightening–there are people out there voting for him!
—————-
The dudes in Portland were all like this. Hell, all liberals seem to be like this. They are such pussies, and have absolutely no sense of humor or ability to understand the trivial from the serious.
*looks up
Hi, Cyn’s underboob!
Howdy, podners.
Oh…
http://is.gd/9DmYNy
Hotspur?
http://tinyurl.com/6s6x8wm
Headline at Breitbart:
Romney Bullying Obama By 7 Points in Poll
Heh.
Rosie should grab the tweet-deck for a quick spin. He’s made for that shizzat.
THIS is hilarious, from ace’s, and the megaindependent, parody of the Time cover
http://megaindependent.blogspot.com/2012/05/obama-graces-controversial.html
Rosetta, howdy, podner.
http://tinyurl.com/6pjtdph
Gabriel had the ultimate answer for that yesterday MJ.
Dave, Chrissy is sucking at the wrong appendage.
Cyn:
http://is.gd/pe04Xo
Well don’t keep me in suspense. It’s not like I read this POS blog or on Twitfacemonkeyballsdick or Facefuckassrapedouche, Car in.
Aggie is wise.
He’s mean, cold, uncaring and; most frightening–there are people out there voting for him!
Life would be so much less frightening if Barack was the only person on the ballot.
THIS is hilarious, from ace’s, and the megaindependent, parody of the Time cover
Thanks, DiT.
Gabriel Malor @gabrielmalor
I was never bullied as a kid. But in my defense, I was also never a goddamn pussy.
😀
http://tinyurl.com/7gmbu97
Rosie should grab the tweet-deck for a quick spin. He’s made for that shizzat.
Too complicated for my giant brain.
Good one, Aggs. I think I heard somewhere that Time (again with them) has a list of the top mothers in pop culture, and the Alien Queen was #1.
I was never bullied as a kid. But in my defense, I was also never a goddamn pussy.
————————–
Hahaha. Good boy, Gabe.
the Alien Queen was #1.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
http://megaindependent.blogspot.com/2012/05/obama-graces-controversial.html
That’s excellent.
Ah, here we go. I heard that mentioned on the radio this morning, but it appears to be four years old.
HA! Whistler’s Mother 😀
Whistler’s Motherfuckin’ BootLeg Fireworks!
Roses are red
violets are blue
Holy shit!
Look at those tits!
Where the fawk is MCPO?
*looks at GML*
Who are you, again?
He’s a poet, Aggie.
GHEE!!!
Where you been, you fireworkin’ regis mofo?!
He’s a ghey poet, Aggie.
fixt
That was implied, Hospurt.
been practicing my MMA – *puts HS in rear control*
*puts HS in rear control*
*really didn’t need to know that*
Man on
Man
Action ?
Oh. That’s nice. If you’re into that. Which is okay. NTTAWWT.
Seriously good to see you Guy.
Okay cool kids and Hotspur: I’m off like a prom dress and will catch you all later.
*parade waves off while tossing out Tootsie Rolls, colored bead necklaces, and hand sanitizer*
Induction stopped at 0945. Debbie’s heartbeat dropped to 74 bpm. Baby is fine now. Restarted induction at 1423.
Dad and grand-dad getting a little annoyed at the doctors. But, everyone is doing OK right now.
Seen on Facechimp:
Indeed. I look forward to the day when we at last get to see an uncensored photo of an attractive couple having sex on the cover of Time. Most natural thing in the world.
I’m cool with not being a cool kid. (I learned that from John Laubner.)
Great news MCPO. Thanks for the update.
Try not to kill the doctor’s until the baby is completely out.
Are you in Michigaggin?
The doctor’s what?
Thanks, Chief. Hugs to you and the family with good thoughts continuing.
Hottie – No. Been “Facetiming” with the kids, but the wireless is spotty at the hospital. #1 son wants us to hold off on coming up, but “Go bag” is packed.
Hang in there, MCPO.
Still prayin’.
Thanks Cynnabuns! Work has been frantic and my travel and golf schedule have been compromised because of it. I’m not happy about it, thank goodness these folks are paying me bookoo bucks for my inconvenience.
I’m cool with not being a cool kid.
Something you prove every day.
Prayers en route, MCPO!!
I took my cellphone and reading glasses onto the golf course for the first time ever today. . .
Fingers crossed, Chief.
Most natural thing in the world.
Oddly, it is. It is also one of the most consequential thing we do,. Strange, that.
Chief, good wishes to you and your family. Hope all works out well for them.
I took my cellphone and reading glasses onto the golf course for the first time ever today. . .
I bet Obama doesn’t do that…
Elizabeth Warren is trying hard to make Martha Coakley look smart.
And Mass. is trying hard to make Cali look sane.
Praying, Chief.
And going for six in a row….
Damn you, oso!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*gives AD a cookie*
No chocolate chip for YOU!
MCPO is going to be an awesome grandpa.
Isn’t he, MJ? And now he’ll finally have someone to share his Werther’s Originals with!
Try not to kill the doctor’s until the baby is completely out.
That’s good advise.
And be extra nice to the nurses, because they usually do the heavy lifting anyway.
advice
* Does this hotspur costume make my ass look fat?
Oops. Sorry, AD.
Nurses are awesome for the most part.
MCPO is going to be an awesome grandpa.
Especially with the power chair rides!
#1 son was delivered by an RN Midwife. Thank goodness I didn’t have to deal with OB/GYN doctors!
It’s okay, young lady.
Now fetch me a beer – an IPA would be best.
Nurses are awesome for the most part.
Old guys know all about that, huh?
AD – It’s the small hands and thin fingers – IYKWIMAITYD.
Actually, in my experience it’s been the male nurses who were exceptionally good. I have a theory about that. Men who break stereotype and go into nursing REALLY want to do it.
Although I’ve had some really good female nurses too. SYWM.
Carin – Our Midwife, an USAF Captain, was exceptional. But, IMHO, military nurses are all pretty damned good!
There are simply more female nurses, so the good and bad are going to exist in their ranks. But pretty much all the male nurses I’ve had experience with have been really good.
Carroll Shelby 1923 – 2012 RIP.
ChrisPy – Saw that. He was not only an automotive genius, he was a stand-up guy.
Obama ate a dog.
Obama could not LEAD nuns in silent prayer!
Got a slow newsfeed there, hotspur? Just hearing about that?
And now he’ll finally have someone to share his Werther’s Originals with!
———————————
Ha! I was going to like the old Werther’s commercial!
Thanks for the update, Chief! Kinda scary that DG’s heartbeat went that low on induction – sorry you can’t be there with them right now; that’s gotta be hard….
The last BBF pic looks like Cyn.
The work week is officially over. The drink week begins in about 30 minutes. Tomorrow, there will be a hangover. Y’all keep the grassburrs out of your pubes, mkay?
The last BBF pic looks like Cyn.
——————————-
I hadn’t really noticed. Not at all.
Great…Hubby texted to let me know his flight was redirected due to storms.
*shakes fist at sky*
Romney must be squeaky clean if all they can find is someone he bullied in high school who isn’t around any more to tell his side of it.. Hey WaPo, I beat up a guy in 9th grade. Fuck you.
Yeah! I didn’t miss BBF. And todays model is not some mishapen overweight heifer. Let the fapping commence.
You guys go ahead and get started. I got things to do. Important things. BBL.
Hey WaPo, I beat up a guy in 9th grade. Fuck you.
*fans self* 😉
Aggie, sorry to hear his flight’s delayed. Hope he’ll be home soon.
Well, he’ll be home this evening, just not sure of the time. Which means I’m going to look like shit when his flight comes in early…
I might need to go in tomorrow.
But for now, I have this nice margarita.
The work week is officially over. The drink week begins in about 30 minutes.
Wilde said it best: “Work is the curse of the drinking class.”
Hi, Rich!
I still have driving to do tonight, so no drinky drinky for me.
*sad face*
And I fricken hate Dr Pepper, diet or otherwise.
SHHHHHUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
H8r…
And I fricken hate Dr Pepper, diet or otherwise.
*slowly reaches for ban-hammer
MCPO, we haven’t been on-line at the same time, but I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and you all have my best wishes for a safe, happy, non-dramatic and joyous EVENT!
Eddie bear tweeted this and it it made me laugh http://is.gd/naQlpw
And I fricken hate Dr Pepper, diet or otherwise.
*slowly reaches for ban-hammer
I know, I know. My kids like it, though, and I “made” them. Shouldn’t that be good enough for you folks?
e, happy, non-dramatic and joyou
well, it’s always dramatic, because you get a BABY. Here’s hoping that the drama is LIMITED to that.
Eddie bear tweeted this and it it made me laugh http://is.gd/naQlpw
Oops. But he got some donor money for it, so there’s that.
Good evening.
This is one of the best BBFs ever. A genu-wine hot chick, and those do not look like bolt-ons, but if they are, they are very well done.
*slow clap for MJ*
My dog had the first professional grooming experience of his life today, at the advanced (yet spry) age of 13.
When he came out of the groomers, he took a steaming dump in their parking lot. Then when he was delivered to my store he copped an attitude and nipped me a couple times in pique.
But OMG does he feel and smell good.
I’m going to clean the spatula before I beat him tonight. Can’t beat a clean dog with a dirty spatula. It simply isn’t done, son.
I may have made the margarita too strong.
It’s a special occasion, Laura. You might use the wooden spoon instead.
Wiser – Thanks, pal!
“I may have made the margarita too strong.
Those words make no sense to me…
Did anyone else update their campaign website in a cynical manner to pander to West Virginia today?
Those words make no sense to me…
I had a decent appetite for dinner, but now I’m too drunk to feel hungry. Which sucks, because I’m supposed to be bulking and I had a heck of a workout today.
Wooden spoon? Yeah? I’ve never tried that. When I want to spice things up I usually beat him with a hairbrush.
Then when he was delivered to my store he copped an attitude and nipped me a couple times in pique.
HEY! WATCH THE HAIR!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viCYkduSzaU
Wooden spoon? Yeah? I’ve never tried that. When I want to spice things up I usually beat him with a hairbrush.
We’re talking about the dog, right? Not the Scott?
puppy-sitting for the neighbor.
I WANT ANOTHER DOG!!!
Actually, this is better than getting another dog. My dog has a friend, I get to pretend to have two dogs and it doesn’t cost me twice as much in vet bills.
WINNING!!
>> When I want to spice things up I usually beat him with a hairbrush.
That lucky bastard.
Laura needs to be spanking Scott. Fifty times.
That lucky bastard.
“she said give me 12 inches and make it hurt, so……”
Banged her 3 times and hit her with a brick?
I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends
They’ll come runnin’ to me. . .
Also, ARRRRRRR.
I actually saw a slight improvement in my vision today. Could make out the arm of a chair.
Turned out it was a refigerator.
Same thing.
progress!
Banged her 3 times and hit her with a brick?
COVER SONG ALERT!!!
Fridge, chair…close enough.
Turned out it was a refigerator.
here, hold this flashlight…..
is that a AAA battery?
is that a AAA battery?
no, that’s your dick.
try again.
why is it warm?
Turned out it was a refigerator.
Were you sitting in it?
Bravo MJ. She looks verrrrry intelligent. I’m doing shots with beer chasers. Watch, I’ll do another. Hi Wiserbuddy, xo. Hi PatchInTexas.
*waves to Shim*
Have a drink for me. I can’t drink since I am waiting to hear when the hell Hubby’s plane is coming in.
WTFITS? This poat is still up? I figured since our BBF lass was hotter than the sun that there’d be 10,000 comments by now and you’d have broken WordPussy.
Slackers.
Howdy Shimster. The Shimminator. Making copies. Shimmeister. Shimmashimmakokobop.
leon, how’d you guess?
Aggatha- I’m rippin a shot of Corralejo Reposado. It’s yummy and whispering to be taken by shot glass. This one is for you, cuteness.
“Were you sitting in it?”
Dave – Why is our toilet so cold?
I’m drinking a fine glass of iced water.
Dave, check your email…NOW!!
It be rainin’ here in Fort Worth.
The Bumpus hounds smell like wet dog.
I know whose fault this is…..
*gives Aggie the stink-eye, swipes Laura’s hairbrush*
leon, how’d you guess?
I’ve, uh, had the same problem.
gives Aggie the stink-eye
The hell???
Anything to report on DG’s ETA, Chief?
I figured since our BBF lass was hotter than the sun that there’d be 10,000 comments by now
we’ve…ummm…. been busy….
Water here too… picking up a boy later who’s out with friends.
The hell???
I figured you’d sent the rain our way.
My bad.
*stealthily puts hairbrush back before Laura notices it’s gone, bribes monkeys to keep quiet*
Ohai.
>> Dave – Why is our toilet so cold?
Because you live in Frigidecticut.
>> Dave, check your email…NOW!!
YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!
SHIMMY!!!!!
hi.
Dave – Why is our toilet so cold?
And it’s deep too.
we’ve…ummm…. been busy….
Oh. ooooOOOOOoooooo. Right, right, right.
Must have taken you at least five minutes to type that out with only your left hand. Nice multitasking.
>> Must have taken you at least five minutes to type that out with only your left hand. Nice multitasking.
Not me.
Can’t risk the eye now.
Must have taken you at least five minutes to type that out with only your left hand.
i;m sftartinmng ti cvhafe
Can’t risk the eye now.
It’s all about using the right equipment, bro. I think you can pull these off: http://is.gd/guluzq
Can’t risk the eye now.
you may be doing it wrong…
i;m sftartinmng ti cvhafe
*buys 10,000 shares of Jergen’s*
MCPO, get your ass up here to see your granddaughter, then hang out with me. Even if she’s not here yet, by the time you get here she will be. And stay out of the fucking left lane.
And stay out of the fucking left lane.
I sincerely doubt he’s turning left.
(heh heh heh, old guy telling old guy to GET OUT OF THE PASSING LANE!!! Does it get any better than this?)
Lookin’ like some of our Texas folks are in for another “Interesting” evening:
http://tinyurl.com/79cxjnw
Tornado warnings in Houston area.
how can you do it wrong?
besides, I have 40 years of practice
I used to spend a LOT of time in the left lane, when I had the Lotus’s.
It’s just wrong now that I’m in a shit-box 18 year-old Subaru.
I think MCPO was planning on flying, or hitching a ride on someone’s plane. Or maybe he’s a pilot?? Let’s fly, let’s fly away!
He’s driving.
And, Wiserdick, are you coming to Carin’s?
how can you do it wrong?
c’mere… it’s like this…..
It’s just wrong now that I’m in a shit-box 18 year-old Subaru.
Tell me about it. Jag XK8 convertible hasn’t been out of the garage in over 2 years. Doing everything I can to keep from having to sell it, but time will tell…..
And, Wiserdick, are you coming to Carin’s?
Sadly, no.
Finances do not allow for much discretionary spending at this particular point in time.
Dammit!
Buck Ofama!
He’s driving.
I hope he remembers extra batteries for the Rascal.
Can you get a DUI on one of those things?
This is a drive-by.
Happy 80,119,532nd birthday, scottw! My how the world has changed since you were an amoeba on a T-Rex’s balls.
Greg Gutfeld told this joke on Teh Five today:
Q: What do you call an angry feminist on Mother’s Day?
A: You don’t.
Heh. Stupid bitter ugly lesbians.
I’ll pay you 78% of what I would pay a man to SUCK MY ASS!!
Wait…..
Wiserbud,
I feel ya. It’s why I’m still driving the shit-box Subaru. And probably will until I die…
Belated Happy B’Day, Scot!.
Sadly, no.
Booooooo! You know, all this being “busy” today, I hear you can make a buck or two on that.
/The More You Know….
Damn, Rosetta is already blotto.
You know, all this being “busy” today, I hear you can make a buck or two on that.
ORLY?
Not much expected to happen until 0200. Sitting next to the phone/iPod waiting for word. Oh, and I would not presume to intrude unless I was invited.
the shit-box Subaru.
1993 Chevy pick-up here. Gets 9 mpg. And take s~$100 to fill the tank.
Luckily, I can get almost 3 weeks out of a tank, as long as all I do is drive it back and forth to the
recordmusic store. Kills me whenever I have to take it any further than that.You Haven’t Been Invited?
I’ll pay you 78% of what I would pay a man to SUCK MY ASS!!
well, I’m no lezzie, but….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGwIyzrlOMQ
Buck Ofama!
agreed. agreed.
buck him hard.
ORLY?
HA! Wiser’s gonna be a Brazilianaire by next Thursday.
HA! Wiser’s gonna be a Brazilianaire by next Thursday.
Is Brazilian hiring?
Cyn – I have been invited to help with the move on the 18th. . .
Did anybody handcuff anybody else to a radiator today?
Damn, Rosetta is already blotto.
I was born blotto.
10 x Two Dogs Fucking = 84 Dogs Fucking Prom Indians
I don’t even know what that means.
This blog sucks. Worst prom ever.
http://tinyurl.com/cn3q8uw
Man Ho
Rosetta, smell your fingernails.
*hands you wiserbud’s toothbrush and some bleach*
Did anybody handcuff anybody else to a radiator today?
A radiator? Like in a car? Then…maybe.
Is Brazilian hiring?
Hmmm, hiring, not sure, but I hear that a good Brazilian can make things higher.
but I hear that a good Brazilian can make things higher.
I’ve been working on my vajazzling skills….
mostly as a hobby, but I’m thinking maybe there’s a future here…
I think you need to show that eye whose boss.
Henry is going to college in the fall and I’m not ready for that.
He’s book smart but I don’t think he’s mature enough to buy his own blueberry puffs.
Plus he can’t walk.
>> I think you need to show that eye whose boss.
Yeah, last week I woulda been so with you on that.
This week, it kinda showed me who was the boss.
…invited to help with the move…
*gets that puzzled frowny look*
I can see that I’m going to have to help you with this grandparent thing. Fortunately, I have studied carefully and I think I can teach you a thing or two about Grandparental Loving Intrusion.
For example, I asked Son#1 what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday on Saturday while in earshot of my mother. And Fancy That!!! She looooooooves the same kind of cake and cannot wait to taste it.
I have more tips.
Plus he can’t walk.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
This week, it kinda showed me who was the boss.
WHO’S DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJKY59NX8o
vajazzling
Ow.
Plus he can’t walk.
maybe Uncle MCPO lends him his Rascal?
Henry will just cruise chicks in his Rascal, and oversleep and miss classes.
Ow.
yeah, sorry about that.
I’ve gotten much better though…
Henry will just cruise chicks in his Rascal, and oversleep and miss classes.
If he’s lucky, he’ll find the freaky chick who is into mommying…
…he can’t walk.
He doesn’t need to know how to walk; Auntie Cyn will carry him where ever his little heart desires. And I promise not to wear the ultra high heels with the gold fish in them (they make me fall sometimes; NO, it’s NOT because I drink).
Ow.
You might want to put some ice on that….
If he’s lucky, he’ll find the freaky chick who is into mommying…
Bwahahahahahaha!
*cries laughing*
Wait…
That 19 year-old kid on the cover of Time sucking his momma’s udder is going to cause the long-anticipated alien invasion because creatures from other galaxies are also going to want to kick his ass for being a fucking pussy.
GET A JOB, TIT BABY!
If he’s lucky, he’ll find the freaky chick who is into mommying…
Auntie Cyn will carry him where ever his little heart desires.
Aaaaaaaaaand done.
lucky little bastard.
If he’s lucky, he’ll find the freaky chick who is into mommying…
Time Magazine.
*legally changes wiserbuds’s name to “Tit Baby”*
*sets self, Sean’s house on fire*
Cynnabuns,
You SO stepped right into that! HA!
GET A JOB, TIT BABY!
Like, downtwinkles, maaaaan.
Aaaaaaaaaand done.
I was conspired with without my knowledge!
Some douchenozzle I went to school with just ‘liked’ obummercare on facesquat. There are only 121k likes. What a huge dialated pussy!!!!
They said we were crazy to pay extra for immolation coverage in our homeowner’s policy, but who’s crazy now?!!
You SO stepped right into that! HA!
Oh, didn’t I though!! I might have peed a little laughing at myself for that one!
*shakes fist at Mare*
Is there some kind of O-care facechimp page for real? Ugh. And someone’s gonna need a 2 x 4 tied to their back. Down with dialated pussies!
*legally changes wiserbuds’s name to “Tit Baby”*
excuse me…
“tit senior citizen”
So if I understand the week’s news correctly, Obama came out of the closet and then Mitt Romney gave him an atomic wedgie. Did I miss anything?
I’d have bought that coverage too, Sean. You’re not crazy one little bit. Nope.
You nailed it.
He doesn’t need to learn to walk.
I know people…..http://is.gd/DwhwgG
Wiser, our flowers arrived today. They’re awesome.
The Mrs. is on the way back from NYC right now, and I can’t wait to get her opinion.
Scott, happy birthday again.
Hope it’s been a great one, my friend.
goddamn this eye patch is a total chick magnet.
I shoulda done this years ago.
Dave – You sure it’s not the dreds?!
He doesn’t need to learn to walk.
I know people…..http://is.gd/DwhwgG
Like.A.Boss.
Congratulations on not dying for another year, scot.
Don’t wake up in a ditch.
Thanks Andy, and everyone else. I decided today that 60 is old.
Wiser, our flowers arrived today. They’re awesome.
toldja
If’n you don’t think that O’cocksucker coming out for gay marriage was a planned op, how do you explain THIS?!?
http://tinyurl.com/dyk95h5
OMFG! Can you say pandering? For 1-3% of the vote? WTF,O?
I decided today that 60 is old.
Shaddup, whippersnapper!
OMFG! Can you say pandering? For 1-3% of the vote? WTF,O?
1% here and 1% there.. divisiveness is a strategy…
just need 50.1%
meanwhile, imo, he’s a goner.
pretty sure it’s the patch Chief. The gals are eyein me like I’m a chocolate fudge cake.
…
It could be I’m only seein em with one eye. ALSO, any updates?
I decided today that 60 is old.
your retinas are still attached, right?
The gals are eyein me like I’m a chocolate fudge cake.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
“I decided today that 60 is old.”
Scotw,
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. I would so love to be 50 again. I would not have fucked-up my back.
I could still work, ride the bike, screw, go hiking and stream-fishing, have a life! It would be great!
Not gonna’ happen…
Don’t feel bad about 50, my friend. That’s just middle-age. I miss it so.
The toaster oven and microwave are hitting on Dave.
OMFG! Can you say pandering? For 1-3% of the vote? WTF,O?
My guess is he’s in deep shit and needs every percent he can scrape up.
The gals are eyein me like I’m a chocolate
fudge cakepie.Pie.
I. Like. Pie.
FINALLY!!!
Hubby got a seat on the 9:55 flight. At least he won’t be
molested by hobosspending the night in DFW.Tossin chocolate fudge pie? YUK!!!
>> pretty sure it’s the patch Chief. The gals are eyein me like I’m a chocolate fudge cake.
Hahahahaha. Dave’s patch has a slimming effect on teh chubbies.
At least he won’t be spending the night in DFW.
Sleeping in an airport ain’t so bad.
for example, there’s no birds…..
9:55 outta DFW is like the last train to Clarksville. They’re done after 10pm. Good news.
The toaster oven and microwave are hitting on Dave.
hey there, good lookin’…..
http://tinyurl.com/2bnvwjq
There’s just something about a man wearing an eye patch.
1) What happened to him?
2) He looks dangerous. Ooooo. Oooo- oooo.
3) Oooo.
4) His aim at the toilet could possibly be slightly worse than a fully-sighted guy, but he’s got an *excuse.*
9:55 outta DFW is like the last train to Clarksville.
you gonna meet him at the station?
At least he won’t be spending the night in DFW.
Good thing; I hear there’s riff-raff near them parts.
nice top see Cyn pictoral Bday card in header, what are ya gonna do for my bday next Tuesday?
plus if henry’s still breastifassd feeding, i wanna come for breakfast
Latest update: Water has broken and heavy contractions have started.
9:55 outta DFW is like the last train to Clarksville.
Huh. I always heard it was more like Daydream Believer, but you live there so I’ll take your word for it..
Sleeping in an airport ain’t so bad.
for example, there’s no birds…..
*stifles a scream*
we got BABY!
1) What happened to him?
2) He looks dangerous. Ooooo. Oooo- oooo.
3) Oooo.
He got into an accident and couldn’t go to school.
Aggie, if he isn’t able to fly out tonight, you have him call us – he’s got a place to stay if’n he needs it…..
I pray she is doing well!!
“9:55 outta DFW is like the last train to Clarksville.”
When I made it into Clarksville, it was on a Greyhound in 1967 and I was headed to Basic at Ft. Campbell, KY.
Good times, good times…
*stifles a scream*
(i need you to explain the the woman on the phone why this is funny, since I can’t talk right now….)
aggie, ill light a candle for him
and the babyness will go fine!
Water has broken and heavy contractions have started.
Aaaaannnnddd here we go! It could be 1 hour. Or it could be 14 hours.
Thank you for the update, MCPoppa.
we got BABY!
WOO HOOOOOO!!!!
>> His aim at the toilet could possibly be slightly worse than a fully-sighted guy, but he’s got an *excuse.*
At long last.
Depth perception. Don’t pull out into traffic without it.
Woo Hoo, Chief!
The baby is comin’!
Prayers for the young momma, and her child!
Ahoy maties!
http://tinyurl.com/7u9fyhn
plave your bets, im going for 5 hours
Thank you, Teresa!! I hope I don’t need to impose 😀
WE’RE HAVING AN EVENT!
WE’RE HAVING AN EVENT!
That’s exciting news, MCPO!!!
wait… we’re having two babies?
I’m taking 05/12/12 between 2:00 and 2:30 am.
Woo hoo MCPO!
That kid doesn’t want a faggy birthday on the 12th.
I’m a little wound up. . .
my bad, I thought Krow was having a baby too…
So, the school Becca attends had their “graduation” ceremony tonight (4 graduates this year). Mr. TiFW represented our family (I’m worthless after 7 pm these days).
Apparently I missed all of the excitement – one of the young men graduating this evening got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend.
It got really dusty in here for a minute when he told me about that…..
No, no, the faggy birthdays start on the 13th.
*coughMyOldestBoysBirthdayIsOnThe12thcough*
Teresa, does that offer come with a breakfast?
‘k. it’s bedtime for wiser.
best of luck to MCPO and the family. MCPO, you’re gonna make a great great-grandad.
nite, y’all.
*curls up on airport bench and shudders awake each time the screaming hawks happen, every fifteen minutes, for six hours, like fucking harpies out of a goddamned Greek mythology about life in Hades*
TiFW, speaking of allergies … http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2012/05/11/happy-birthday-bella/
*curls up on airport bench and shudders awake each time the screaming hawks happen, every fifteen minutes, for six hours, like fucking harpies out of a goddamned Greek mythology about life in Hades*
SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK!!!!!!!
G’nite, wiserbro.
Don’t get stuck at Houston’s airport. Not even a bench to sleep on!
one of the young men graduating this evening got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend.
Babies, engagement, graduations…
*goes through Kleenex box*
Sweet dreams, wiserbuns.
MCPO gonna be a grandpa soon??
Awesome.
Luckiest kid ever.
I’ll take 12:00 – 12:30 am May 12.
>> like fucking harpies out of a goddamned Greek mythology about life in Hades
Could be worse. There might be a Muzak loop of “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell” out now
I hope I don’t need to impose
No imposition at all, Ags – we’re Texans!
Teresa, does that offer come with a breakfast?
Ordinarily, it would, but with the union employees at the plant on strike, all of the salaried people are “filling in” for them, so Mr. TiFW is on the 6 am – 6 pm shift until further notice. We do have several lovely restaurants within a couple of miles of the house, though….
YAY! We’re having a baby!!!!!!!
Whose turn is it to boil water?
I want 3-3:30
I’m pickin’ the1230-1300 slot.
Best wishes to you & yours, Chief!
This is gonna’ be great!
/Flounder
Houston Airport was the worst. I’d rather try to find a place to sleep in Gary, Indiana–it’d be easier.
tresa i just want an adam and eve on a raft, broken hearted
cyn you still have crumb munchers at home right?
Houston Hobby is a nightmare. Intercontinental is a lot better.
Charlotte – Rocking chairs – FTW!!
Ha, the only crumb muncher here is Sparky. My two boys are just finishing 5th & 8th grades. They’re both getting too tall to even pick up their socks from the floor let alone crumbs!
young scalawags
i miss not having a baby around
tresa i just want an adam and eve on a raft, broken hearted
Whazzat?
You’ll get whatever they serve at the IHOP, and you’ll like it….
I’d take you to the Panera Bread, but….(gluten)
Andy, thanks for that link – I had to open a new box of Kleenex….
Cynnabuns,
By that age, they should know how to load the washer with “white wash”, then put it in the dryer, and fold and put it the hell away when it’s done!
Are you “Falling Down” as a mother?
Well, are you?
Harrumph…
/Dfens
Andy, thanks for that link – I had to open a new box of Kleenex….
Heh. If one of the Hostage Mens had said that…
Hahahaha
http://stix1972.bo.lt/bq4wm!t
HAHA! They do know all that stuff, Chrispy, no falling down here, but those damn socks on the floor… they are fuckin’ invisible I tell ya!
Adam And Eve On a Raft Heartbroken is
Scrambled eggs on toast
Heh. If one of the Hostage Mens had said that…
Oh, man, that thought occurred to me too. HA! I am sooo going to hell.
That was good, Andy!
WTFWJD?
Now we can both go, same flight.
I call the window seat.
Scrambled eggs on toast
No toast at the TiFW house….
Nytol – hope we have a new Hostagette in the world by morning!
Hugs to Chief and his crew –
Well, his flight won’t leave until 23:15, so I’m going to go take a nap before dragging my ass to the airport. Y’all have a goodnight!
Aggie – if hubby needs a place to crash, have him call the house; I’m just shutting the computer down for the night, but we stay up and read for a while (and we always answer the phone, no matter what time of night).
G’night, Aggie.
*realizes I probably shouldn’t have said “crash”…..*
You know what I meant –
night all! morning come, NEW MCPBaby!
Cyn,
I’m very proud of you teaching your boys that. Anita had to show me that when we first got married.
It came with the threat that; “If you wash your red wool ski-socks with your under-ware, all your “friends” at work will call you “Pinky” for the rest of your life.
I quickly learned: Whites / Colors. Never the twain shall meet.
>> I call the window seat.
I got NO problem with this
Eh, I’ve been doing my own laundry since jr high.
I see the word “crash”, but I think “Crash Davis” (Kevin Costner) from Bull Durham. mmm mmm mmm
Sweety good night girls and Krow.
Thanks, Chris. I run a pretty tight ship and I’m the heavy hand to boot. They loves me lots and they actually ‘get’ why I ride them on occasion. They’re sharp ones and I’m proud of them.
I quickly learned: Whites / Colors. Never the twain shall meet.
I denounce Crispy’s racism.
Shame. SHAAAAAAAAAAMMMME!!!
The Master Chief will like this vid from Ace’s
I got NO problem with this
Heh. You’re welcome. 😉
😉
Sean,
I denounce your denouncement!
It’s fuckin’ laundry, for Chrissakes!
Timing is everything, but context is a close second.
Any updates for us, MCPO?
time to restses teh eyeballs.
Nite kids. Much love, much love. And prayers for the baby and mom and dad and grampyface.
Nighty dreams, Dave.
smooch…. zzzz
This baby has 8 minutes before she misses out on being born on Scott’s birfday!
Mitt should claim he’s 1/32 Indian.
Then the press would quit bitchin’ about him scalping that kid 47 years ago.
Ha, xbrad. I’m totally tweeting that.
Nice work, Xbrad. You can tick off June already for the funnay.
Cool tune: http://youtu.be/26Q3Hldwmb8
Are we staying up with Chief until DG arrives?
I’m still up for a while longer for sure – must leave to pick up Son#1 in about 45 minutes, one full hour of travel time (there and back), plus some wait-around-time. That should put me back here in time to see if she will share her birthday with my boy. If DG waits too long, they might even share a time of delivery.
$20
The Chief is gonna be hitting the rack with the phone & iPod next to me.
I just realized that I thought a Pink Floyd tune was cool. FML.
Sweet dreams, Chief.
Cyn, Bryan Adams songs are my guilty pleasure. I thought you were being funny. LOL
Sleep well MCPO.
I always liked Adams with the few hits that he’s had over the last 20 years or so, but I have kind have rediscovered him lately. He was under appreciated in my book at least. His music has held up so well.
I was only being funny about the PF part, because I kinda hate them with a burney passion. Not sure why I didn’t realize it was a cover right off the bat.
Pink Floyd AND a cover tune.
*shakes fist at wiser and wiserbud*
Probably because you hate PF and haven’t memorized their playlist? Bryan Adams/Jason Aldean Crossroads was pretty good.
Pretty sure BAs career is over.
Yep; stick a fork in him done. Tee hee. Even still, he still makes my socks go up and down.
He might be a rarity, though; I’m listening to this and read that he wrote this for Joe Crocker: http://youtu.be/s8FU7qca0u4
>> Bryan Adams/Jason Aldean Crossroads was pretty good.
I’ll have to look for that. Aldean’s from my hometown.
I just found the one you mentioned and listening to now… such a nice sound.
here… http://youtu.be/CPIQOMvCvuY
them on stage instead: http://youtu.be/0RBjvQHl2u8
Aldean also rocks “Summer of 69”
After watching that episode of Crossroads, I broke out my BA. I really love the way Jason Aldean sings BA.
It’s hard to stop listening to him, Oso. He just has one great song after another.
Off now to go pick up my punkin’. Continuing the good thoughts and prayers for Julia and DG.
Nighty dreams to you Oso and various lurkers.
Night, Cyn.
Andy, I think it is really cool that you and Jason Aldean share an home town. I like how he covers rock standards and makes them country. Just like JoDee.
Every one is asleep so I can own the comments. Sweet!
My pet peeve about illegals is that they don’t flush. They have crappy septic systems in Mexico so they throw used toilet paper on the floor and not in the toilet.
Sunday is illegal shopping day in Albuquerque.
Never use a public restroom in Albuquerque on Sunday. El Paso gets 7 days of filthy, nasty, disgusting bathrooms.
Spanish language TV needs PSAs about modern plumbing.
Going back to FB now to irritate my friends with cheesy music links.
Ok, baby DG: you have 15 minute to arrive and I will win the pot of gold for guessing correctly.
I hope Chief can hear his phone.
Derpse las manos.
You have a point; might be kinda hard to hear if he didn’t recharge the old hearing aid batteries.
Durka durka, Sean
“Derpse las manos”. Shouldn’t that be “los”?
Forget it; he’s on a roll.
I don’t understand Arabic, Cyn.
Or he was flirting with us by using “las” ‘cuz we’re chicks ‘n stuff.
Mmmm…rolls.
Derpa, derpa.
Wait, that might be the feminine. Well shoot; I can never correctly translate to Austrian, dammit.
Hahaha. I spent 6 weeks in Austria once. Learned how to order in a restaurant and get home. By restaurant, I mean bar.
Shouldn’t that be “los”?
I thought you was hispanic.
Click to access flyer-wash-your-hands-es.pdf
Tuckered and pooped. I have to call it, cool kids.
Hugs and kisses and I will catch you all on the morrow.
I’m more fluent in Chinese. I can order in a restaurant, get home, and count to twenty.
G’night Cyn. Librarian BBF does look like you!
Nitey nite, Cynnie.
wakey wakey
Ga. My facedouche is going off about gay marriage again. Most. Important. Issue. EVER.
@@ idiots.
I want what I want and I want it now!!!!
/liberal /4yo
You should tell them about the dog he ate.
Someone wake up Chief. I want an update.
And the black girl he bullied.
Stupid facedouche.
This is what I think of Obama and gay marriage: Gay people are being crushed by Obamanomics as well as everyone else. Unemployment has been above 8% for years, despite promises that Obama’s failed stimulus would have lowered to 6% by now. Once of the key drivers of the disastrous economy is Obamacare, which is introducing a level of uncertainty that employers have never had to contend with. Also, he ate a dog and punched a little black girl.
Gay people can get married, but they can’t have a job.
BEST PRESIDENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I guess they know their base very very well, Carin.
Gay marriage is going to save or create millions of jobs in the party-planner industry.
I hope the libs enjoy playing with a series of new shiny distractions up until election day, when they get their asses firmly spanked by the grownups.
I’m evolving back to a position that I held in 1996. Mainly that quarter beers at Cam’s on Tuesdays is pretty awesome and I really don’t want to study for finals this year.
Lawn work is done!
I was going to mow today, but it looks there are incoming thunderstorms. Dangit.
Important Lapeerpaloosa information:
I think I’ll spend the entire day on a soccer field in Midland. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
They’re just covering the gay marriage thing now so Obama could get that bundler money, and to get it out of the way far enough before the election that people forget about it as an issue and it can’t hurt him as decision time draws near. They know it’s a loser of an issue. That’s why he had to lie about it four years ago.
But it’s nice to know that whatever bullshit Dems feed their base, they will dutifully roar and pose in positions of outragey outrage.
I do need to get the copper sulfate for the pond, though, so I may have a trip to Tractor Supply in my future.
Yes. It was the money and the timing, which was pretty instructive.
My guess is that gay marriage was going to be addressed in the summer, but because fundraising has been poor, and enthusiasm is waning, the campaign had to trot it out early. And Joe Biden is a full on Rah-tard.
I mowed and hauled a bunch of palm fronds to the street for the city to pick up. Now I can stay inside in the A/C for the rest of the day
But it’s nice to know that whatever bullshit Dems feed their base, they will dutifully roar and pose in positions of outragey outrage.
Yes, this. Here’s what they’re all posting on my facedouche:
That last bit was mean. My html skillz are weak this morning. Ok, they’re always weak. As well as my spelling.
I totally agree with your troll. We should repeal hate crime laws, affirmative action, end the EEOC, and repeal Obamacare.
This person is a sanctimonious, preening douche attempting to seize the moral high ground by stating, “because shut up.”
And just to end the suspicion: Pictures 1 and 3 are pre bolt ons. Two and four are after she was ‘enhanced.’
She was so cute that I had to post them.
They don’t get it. Marriage has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom. Being against re-defining marriage has nothing to do with my opinions on homosexuality. I don’t want polygyny, polyandry, incestuous couplings or any other re-definition of marriage made legal either. If consenting adults want to violate those taboos for the sake of satisfying their animal urges, fine, but don’t demand that I sanction it or support it with the force of government.
Ok, soccer field time. Drive is only 90 min.
ga
I really do not care what you do in your bedroom. As long as it is consensual and there are no minors, have fun.
The point is that is not good enough for a vocal group of gays.
Watching an Abbott and Costello movie that has Kang from Star Trek in it.
Where’s Mare?
http://tinyurl.com/bvayl2q
I know that movie. He’s wearing a white suit.
aww… a beagle puppy. SHOOT IT
How come beagles are so cute?
Because God knew that’s the only reason we would let them live.
Still no baby. Mom is dialated to 7cm.
How is she doing MCPO?
Wow! I think I see a new poat!
>> The point is that is not good enough for a vocal group of gays.
I’m so old I remember when they said they were fine with civil unions.
Civil unions are the medical marijuana of gay marriage.
Truth is that nearly everything they want from “marriage” is already available under standard contract law.
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