Open Letter to Democrat Voters

No, not you embarrassing “journalists” who serve as nothing other than flaccid propaganda organs for this administration.  You go fuck yourselves.  I mean really?  You don’t know how to spin horrific events in Libya until Jay Carney sends you a sext?

Think about that you MSNBC hacks.  You get your talking points from Jay fucking Carney.  No one expects more from MSNBC but the rest of you MSM bluenecks are all blatant shills, idiots and losers and you are pathetic at the trade you sorrily pretend to practice.  You please go ahead and vote for Obama because he makes you feel, unsuccessfully I’m guessing, like less of a old guilt-ridden condescending privileged racist.

This letter is also not intended for the other out-of-touch sneering warm-mongering Democrat-members of the 1% who pretend to care about the “little people”.

If you drive a Volt or a Prius, you’re very likely an idiot, a hypocrite and a smelly hippie.  Your electricity probably comes from coal you shithead.  Just ride a bike and put the $43k you save in your local Starbuck’s tip jar so that some poor 22-year old college-educated punk with no prospects of a real job in Obama’s economy can get some new tats.  You are all pretentious assholes and you’re also a lost cause.  Continue spouting off about the HOPE and the CHANGE.  “Four More of Whatever Lord Obama Ends Up Deciding Are Years”.

And please put another bumper sticker on your fucking car because when I’m driving to the store, the thing I want to know about the driver of the car in front of me is how they feel about every fucking thing ever.

Idiots.

*Oh I have a Bachelorette’s degree in early 1979 African Womyn’s LGBT Poon Studies from Harvard and I have a solar-paneled windmill shoved up my free-range chicken’s ass.  Please love me.”*

Stupid.  I have complete disdain for people who have hit the lottery of life and then deem to tell the rest of us how they love the poor and downtrodden while they summer in the Hamptons with the richest of the rich.  You people go fuck yourselves.

This letter is to the other people who vote for Democrats because they think that Democrats care about them and conservatives don’t.

Let’s start with this: Does the crack dealer who gives you the first three rocks for free care about you?  He knows you’ve had a rough go of it lately and he just wants to help out.  Those damn conservatives, they won’t give you free rocks.

Who is really on your side?  Who respects you?  And who is it that thinks of you as a born loser and a potential lifelong dependent benefactor?

I’m a conservative who believes in God but it’s okay with me if you believe in a dice-throwing quantum spaghetti monster.  I’m sure it makes me a bad Christian to say this but as long your lazy disbelieving eternal soul burning in hell doesn’t make me spill my drink, I really don’t give a shit.

You have free will to believe that a prehistoric fish-monkey fucking a much smarter prehistoric monkey-fish led to you choosing amongst 13 varieties of blue cheese at the grocery store with the aid of a human eye which the smartest scientists in the world cannot even begin to re-create.  Rods and cones and monkeys OH MY!  Point being that you need not believe in God to believe the following.

However you think you came into this world, you could have been born in Ethiopia as a baby who knows nothing but hunger, desperation, pain and flies biting you until you die.  Your life expectancy could have been the length of a season of The Daily Show but it wasn’t.  You weren’t born in Ethiopia as a child who knows nothing but hunger and pain and flies gnawing at you until some smug millionaire presents you with a “Moment of Zen”.

You were born in a country where YOU decide what happens to you.  You can choose to cede that power to someone else if you want but it’s an unavoidable fact that you were born with that power.  And you are special, different and blessed because of that.  And you’re so very fortunate.

Republicans recognize that fact and they want all of the kids in the picture below to grow up and be successful and wealthy and happy.  Democrats want to take everything from whitey and give it to the others because hey…the darker you are, the less likely you are to make it without the government taking care of you.

That’s how the Democrat party views people.  It’s by your skin color and the darker you are, the dumber and more hapless they believe you to be.  You’re a victim in need of a government program.  As a Democrat, how does it make you feel that your party views three of these kids as losers who can’t make it on their own without government help?

As a Republican it makes me sick.

You my Democrat friend cannot tell me a life story so sorry and sad that I cannot find someone with the same story that overcame the same adversity and claimed their right to this power.  The fact that someone else in this great country overcame the exact same issues that you and others may face – the same hardships, difficulties, joblessness and that insidious firing machine known as Bain Capital – means that you can overcome them as well and make a better life for yourself.

You know this!  You know you were meant for greater things and so are those that you want to help.  They weren’t born here to deserve nothing but the stupid handouts that the government tells them that they qualify for.  You know we were all meant to be the boss of our own life and the fact that some of us are not is irritating and infuriating.  We were not born to be a groveling failure, content with the cheese the government gives us.

Not only were we all born great, we were born in the only country that has ever existed that wants us to be great.  This country exists for the sole purpose of wanting to help you be part of the 1%!  There is nothing wrong with being in the 99% but there sure as hell isn’t anything wrong with ascending to greater heights.  Others like you have done it and despite what the Democrats want you to believe, there is no one preventing you from doing it.

I know from watching MSNBC that George W. Bush was a brilliantly diabolical election-stealing psychopath who was also a blithering idiot monkey Halliburton Cheney/Hitler-puppet but he said something a few months after he ordered planes to fly into the World Trade Center while he read My Pet Goat that I thought was well put.  He mentioned the “soft bigotry of low expectations”.  Think what you want about George W. Bush but the soft bigotry of low expectations does exist and it’s very real and it’s the official gas that fuels the engine of the Democrat party.

You think conservatives are mean?  The Democrat party pats you on the head like you’re a fucking retard.  “Oh bless your heart, dumb.  Put on your helmet you poor unfortunate loser and let us take care of you because you were obviously born unable to take care of yourself thanks to all these roving packs of wild Republican racists.”

Really?  Do you honestly believe that Republicans are racists and that’s why you should vote for Democrats?  If you’re a Democrat voter, don’t you find it offensive that your party leaders think you are that stupid?  It’s a terrible insult to you that somehow has gone unrecognized as a terrible insult.

“Hey loser, you keep voting for me and I will do my best to keep these racist people paying for your shitty life.  At least until these racist people with “jobs” (can you get more racist than having a job?) decide to stop paying for your shitty life and then you’re fucked but until then I’ll give you just enough to keep voting for Democrats like me.  And you shouldn’t even try to improve your station in life because you’re worthless and weak.  And the 1% who pay your bills would like to put you in a wood chipper so vote for us so we can stop the evil conservative wood chipping.  Listen….just shut the fuck up and vote Democrat.  If you don’t, Republicans will push yo momma off a cliff.  Just sayin’.”

That should just be the official slogan of the Democrat party because it’s all they have to offer their voters.  Thanks to them, good people like you probably think that Republicans want to kill you or “put ya’ll back in chains” but as a conservative with a heart who believes you have a brain, I respectfully ask you to please look past that bullshit.

The people you think are taking care of you and those less fortunate are actually robbing you and others of your birthright to freedom, happiness, independence and a better life.  It is the most subtle form of terrorism to steal freedom by making people in this country dependent on what the government can take from other people.

Conservatives want to help the poor to not be poor, the indigent to not be indigent and those who weren’t born lucky to miraculously become lucky through hard work and determination.  Conservatives try to do all that by giving to charities and supporting policies that help get people off of government support.

Democrat politicians give lip-service to wanting to help people out of poverty.  The problem with that is that Democrat policies are designed specifically to keep people poor, indigent and completely dependent on government.  That way they know they can count on your vote because without them, your poor dumb ass would probably starve to death.

Democrat politicians help the poor by keeping them poor and throwing them a free day-old ham sandwich that they stole from someone else.  Or they give them a nicer grocery cart in which to live.  Do you think that is any way to treat people?  Or do you think that’s better than the alternative because you really honestly believe that the 40% of the people in this country who call themselves conservatives want to kill the poor and take healthcare away from your granny?

Democrats “help others” by borrowing from a Chinese government that doesn’t know you or particularly like you and taking money from people like me and wasting it on wind farms and stupid cars that no one wants.   And that will go on until it doesn’t.  In the meantime Democrat politicians will treat voters like you as idiots and losers.

But because they give out free moldy cheese and heroin needles, birth control and Catholic-funded abortions, they think they can count on your vote.

Please don’t let that happen any longer.  It is Democrat politicians who want people in chains, subsisting on whatever the government decides to dole out to them.  It is conservatives who want everyone to be prosperous and free so they can realize their potential.

You were born in a country where you can read words written and then sent across miles and oceans with the push of a button.  If you can read this, YOU are the 1%.  You have been born of privilege and power and potential that the other 99% of the world cannot even imagine.  You can choose to deny this if you want and whine about the Koch brothers but if you can read these words, you are among the fortunate global few.   And in reality YOU are the part of what the Democrats consider the gluttonous, evil, thieving 1%.

The thing that breaks the hearts of conservatives like me (and yes, we have hearts that break just like yours) is that Democrat politicians have convinced so many good people like you that (1) there was no great fortune to being born in this country and that (2) the ability for most everyone to improve their station in life through hard work and self-reliance doesn’t really exist.  They think you can’t make it.  You can’t succeed and if it wasn’t for the nice people in government you would be totally fucked.

The Democrat party in this country has convinced too many good people that the only thing they are worthy of is a sorry life dependent on others to pay their way.  The Democrat party will give you stolen cheese.  They will provide you debit cards to buy diapers and bread and milk.  And all the plantation masters of the Democrat party ask is that you be their slave and continue to vote for them.  It saddens me that so many people take them up on that offer.

Condescending, elitist members if the 1% like Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Bill Clinton, Harry Reid and Joe Biden will gladly throw you a bone if you will just appreciate the free bone and vote Democrat.  Actually they don’t care if you appreciate the free bone.  Just get on the fucking bus and go vote for who they tell you to vote for.  “Eat your free cheese and shut up you hopeless loser!”  That is what the leaders of the Democrat party think of you.

This is no way to live in the greatest country that has ever existed.  You were not born in Ethiopia knowing only hunger and flies.  You were born in a country where you decide what happens to you and the kind of life that you live.  You are one lucky person if you would only choose to accept that you’re lucky and that you can make your life not only better, you can make your life what you want it to be.

In this wonderful country, if you want a job you can get a job.  And if you don’t like that job, you can start a business and make yourself a job.  If you don’t like working for “the man”, become “the man”.  There are people who look like you, who grew up like you, who faced the same adversities that you faced and they made it work.  You can do it too.

The bottom line is this, Democrats: you and everyone else has an infinite number of ways to make your life better in this country without the government.  Do something you love!  Figure out what you’re great at and do that.  Make money by helping other people!  Get paid for doing something that other people want to pay you to do.  It’s not easy but nothing good ever is.  I did it and so have millions of other people.  People who are just like you did it.  People who didn’t think they could do it, just like you.  They did it.  Why don’t you?  What do you have to lose?  Moldy cheese and bullshit-covered hopenchange smeared on a teleprompter?

When you vote this November you need to remember that it is conservatives, Republicans and Mitt Romney who want to make it as easy as possible for you to improve your life.  Democrats want you to sit down, shut up, cast your vote and then fuck off until the next election.

You know how good it feels to take care of yourself and accomplish something difficult.  I’m sure you’ve done it before and you know how it feels.  The Republicans want that for you.  The Democrats don’t give a shit about you.  They care only about your vote and they will give you as little as they need to in order to get it.

Do you like beer?  It tastes the best when it’s ice-cold after a hard day’s work when you’ve earned it.  It doesn’t taste as good when some asshole steals it from someone else and gives it to you in a warm dirty glass.  The beer from a condescending nanny who thinks you’re too stupid to work for your own beer tastes like shit.  I know it and so do you.

Mitt Romney isn’t the answer to your dreams and he won’t solve all your problems.  The difference between him and Democrat politicians is that Romney won’t lie to you and tell you that he’s the answer to your dreams and that he’ll solve all your problems.  Because you and I both know that there is only one person who can do that and that person wears your shoes.

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he doesn’t exist.  The greatest trick the Democrats ever played was convincing good people like you that they want to take care of you.

If you read this and like it, please link it elsewhere.  Word to your mother.

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