2017 BBF Championships Contestant #1

Contestant #1 – Ellie Gonsalves

Pupster’s note:  We have four semi-finalists for 2017, I will repeat poat for 4 weeks and then we’ll have a final poll to determine Miss Big Boob Friday 2017.  

From March 24, 2017:

Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.




God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies



Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

What sort of fuckery is this? / car in



  1. Good pupster, have a snausage…

  2. Wowza.

  3. Happy December!

    This installation in Toronto is going well, although I’m a bit homesick.

  4. wakey wakey fuckers.

    I’m going to have to work on that line.

  5. It’s a led zepp kinda morning.

  6. I watch Dr Strange last night. Pat didn’t want to watch it but couldn’t stop himself.

  7. A remote that worked the dvd player was located. Not “the” remote, but it worked.

  8. rabbit rabbit

  9. anybody fuck off yet?

  10. Fuck on

  11. she seems nice, and the accent?

  12. Fuck off! *clapclapclap*
    Fuck on! *clapclapclap*
    The Fucker!

  13. Four applications submitted.

    I went to bed at 945 last night, and took a sudafed before I went to sleep. Bad idea. I was up at 1am and couldn’t get back to sleep.

  14. Pulling on (?off) jeans vs wife beater t-shirt pictures get my vote so far. Looking forward to the competition.

  15. The fucks are going to be flying over the next few days. I can feel it.

    CoAlex – you know what can fuck off? Your job situation. An Pupster, being away from home can fuck off too.

  16. Late morning case today. Booked at 10 but will probably go at 11 or even noon given the natural inertia the OR has. I got an email from the CMO yesterday that the OR is running tight due to personnel and elective cases may be bumped. They moved to the massive new OR complex a month ago and the move has not gone smoothly. The place is massive and people spend their time walking around where the hell they are. A bunch of traveling nurses just left, the nurse who I mentioned committed suicide has also cast a pall on things and staff are feeling low as a result. Fortunately we’re heading into a less busy time of year. Oh well, time to get ready.

  17. Car in is a fuck machine this morning…

  18. I saw a need, so I stepped up.

  19. You are truly a giver. I’m sure your chirrun appreciate all your sacrifices.

  20. No, they really do not.

  21. Fuck along, now, and be good chaps about it, won’t you?

    I updated my resume yesterday and applied to one job. Today I am going to spam it everywhere. Would be nice to get into the same hospital system so I don’t have to switch out all my brand new insurance and bennies. We shall see.

  22. I started a small batch of kimchi yesterday. Soon that corner of the kitchen will be smelling like hot garbage. I can hardly wait!

  23. I have to listen to Wiserbud’s show today. I was thinking of calling in. I don’t think men behaving like animals toward women is any kind of new phenomenon or a result of liberalism. I’ve been treated badly by the occasional swine since adolescence.

    My mom has stories from the supposedly uptight early 60s (when she was a teenager) that would curl your hair. If anything, it was worse back then. More institutionally accepted.

  24. >>My mom has stories from the supposedly uptight early 60s (when she was a teenager) that would curl your hair.

    Iv e already apologized for all that.

  25. I didn’t get up early enough to get a new faucet before the hobo with a wrench gets here. If he agrees to do the work, we might have to take a trip to get one.

  26. Fuck that sink.

  27. No way, the tail on that thing is way too skinny.

  28. We’re fucking things metaphorically.

  29. Well, honestly, the guy who invented undermount sinks can take a flying fuck off of fuck mountain into a fucking lake of hot fucking lava.

  30. Your mom was asking for it.

  31. I have so many fucks to give today.

  32. I’m going to install a button under my (computer) desk to lock my children out of the house.

  33. Being up until two appears to have filled my lungs with fucks. I’m coughing out a fuck every time I breathe hard.

  34. I was up until 11:30. Enough sleep and still plenty of fucks.

  35. I got about 5 hours. Hobo with a wrench said 9, and for all I know he’s punctual, so by the time I had the sink clear and some laundry started it was too late to make a trip to Home Depot.

  36. Oh my God, it’s fucking December already.

  37. Secret Santa reminder:

    If you want in on this year’s gift exchange, email my name at the gmail thing with:

    Your handle, your real name, your physical address, your phone number (optional in case anything goes wrong in shipping).

  38. Wow, good choice, Pups. 🙂 She looks better as a brunette.

  39. Fuck SS.

    But join it.

  40. Pass. She looks like every chick I didn’t smash.

  41. I wonder if liberals would be mad about Steinle’s killer if he had shot a seal instead.

  42. Fuck the snow on this blog.

  43. Yes, please – I love how people who basically have zero understanding of economics, let alone politics, begin to post how tax rates are going to affect people. That Robert Reich meme is KILLER. @@

  44. My boss is a cunt. Shall we ask her to FOADACD?

    ‘Retiring’ on Dec 15th, 4 min phone call, then leaving town. We’re all twisting in the wind.

  45. Esample of Robert Reich?

  46. St. Reich of the Left? Yeah, lots of followers to that particular midget.

  47. This is how many fucks I give

  48. I put the meme up on the end of the poat

  49. Jay is in his Christmas attire.

    Fuck him.

  50. My new phone is out for delivery.


  51. I like the snow, Scrooge.

  52. Heh, I loved your explanation of the tax issue Car in. Fuck yeah.

  53. F*CK MEULLER if after everthing, he makes Flynn the fall guy for the corruption in DC.

  54. Math is hard, J’ames. Especially when they don’t know ANYTHING.

  55. If Flynn made false statements to the FBI WTF did Clinton and her crew do?????????????????????????????????????????

    F*ck them all.

  56. It’s Fuck You Friday here at the H2.

    I like it.

  57. Fuck off, Carin

  58. I love the fucking snow.

  59. Fuck right back at you Lauraw.

  60. OK, now I understand the outrage. He was found to be innocent on ALL charges, not just murder.

    How can be be innocent of involuntary manslaughter?

    Fuck California.

  61. I have two quarts and five pints of turkey soup in the canner. Slowly adding to my inventory of awesome stuff in the Hoard Cupboard.

    Life is good. Go fuck yourselves. I love you.

  62. I think they only got the guy on felony firearm possession. It carries a three year max. sentence. He’ll get credit for time served, and be back out in no time.


    Fuck California indeed.

  63. He was found guilty of possessing a gun. It was the gun that did the killing, after all.

  64. I bet the gun does hard time.

  65. He testified that he “found” the gun, and it went off by accident. And the jury believed him.

  66. And then there’s this POS.

  67. He’s just trying to make a better life for himself, and his family.

    That’s why he’s out drinking and driving. Because of those shadows.

  68. I don’t think it mattered whether the jury believed him or not, it was a way of punishing Trump for being Trump and damn the consequences.

  69. I think Roamie has it right.

  70. The judge in the Bergdahl treason matter did the same thing. “Fuck you, Trump. No justice where you are concerned.”

  71. I can’t wait for federal troops to re-take California and return it to territory status.

  72. Sanctuary cities don’t have shadows…except for the shadows cast by homeless scum defecating and urinating on sidewalks.

  73. I’ve been to San Francisco and I admit I did not go to the restaurants you hear about that are so great which makes me laugh because they are about $200/person with drinks, however, I’ve been to all the tourist areas, some not so touristy and my favorite the waterfront (not THE wharf) a road surrounded by sidewalks and nice houses right on the water and I still don’t get the attraction. There are a shit ton of weird kind of gays, it actually does smell from the homeless and drunks (urine) and it’s got a lot of crime. Oh, and the weather sucks.

    I’m sure in its heyday it was lovely and wonderful. I’m not a city girl so I wasn’t going to like it anyway.

  74. *I’ve been there about 10 times. Use to live in Moutain View.

  75. Mountain View? Wow, talk about a bunch of loony tune liberals. My cousin lived there. She now lives in Woodside – just as bad.

  76. Well fuck me. My patient’s parents thought they would show up at 1015 for a 1000 case. Hello!?! Be here at 0900 for all the paperwork! I told them to go home and we’ll do it next week FFS.

  77. My new phone is out for delivery.
    You will LOVE it.

  78. Jimbro, with all due respect, I couldn’t begin to estimate the hours upon hours I’ve waited in a physician’s or dentist’s waiting room. Rarely have I been seen within a half hour of the appointed time. More often it can be more than 45 minutes.

  79. Fuck Hotspur’s new phone.

  80. I don’t think it mattered whether the jury believed him or not, it was a way of punishing Trump for being Trump and damn the consequences.
    Trump cannot be punished. He is simply incapable of learning from negative consequences. Instead, he fucks you in the goat ass harder and faster, which is why I kind of love him and his wife. Mostly his wife, though.


  81. They should invent an app that lets you know how far behind your doctor is running, so you can plan accordingly.

    That said, I’m always on time.

  82. Jimbro often Drs. think their time is more important than anyone else’s.
    If they were told to get there at 9:30 to do paperwork and show up at 10:15 that’s one thing, not being told and being 15 minutes late is margin or error.

  83. I fully expect the wall to be built and just as a massive FUCK YOU it’ll have green cards dangling just out of reach along the top.

  84. I’m always early. But I have some kind of mental deal about being on time. Don’t know if it’s good or bad but it causes me stress to be late.

  85. And just so no one feels left out. Fuck all of you and Merry Christmas!

  86. I know I like Trump better every day.

    Melania was always on my “like” list. She’s been thrown into this crazy and has handled it beautifully and by beautifully I mean with class and looking beautiful.

  87. My maxillofacial surgeon ran a tight ship. Never kept me waiting more than 5 minutes. I called once to say I’d be 10 min late and he made me reschedule.

  88. So, if Flynn is guilty of lying to the FBI, why would any of his additional testimony be credible?

    What a fucking clown car.

  89. Melania is the first First Lady who’s a practicing Catholic. It’s nice.

  90. What are we going to fight about today?

  91. * invents iPhone 10.1 *

  92. You know Car in, when I asked you for baby advice and you told me to shake him really hard, that was a bad idea.

    Sure, he sleeps a lot but now he acts like one of your kids.

  93. I’m going to listen to WATR today and maybe call in if I have a pithy comment. I will try not to drop f-bombs.

    I think I’ve almost got his stream recording thing solved, just need to do some hacking and sort out the exact url of the stream.

  94. What are we going to fight about today?

    We can always argue why everyone else’s taste in music sucks.

  95. Docs overbook because MedicAIDS, and God help you if they get called to the hospital they also work at to make ends meet and something goes wrong there.

    I’ve seen both of these issues repeatedly. Delayed one (non-emergency THANK GOD) appointment with dad’s cardiologist from “afternoon” until “getting home for a late dinner”.

  96. I don’t know the inner workings of ANY marriage other than my own. I don’t know if Melania was in love or not in love with Donald, wanted the lifestyle or whatever. I do know she seems like a good and protective mother, she has been a good First Wife to Donald and a good First Lady to the country.

    She hasn’t thrust any bullshit policies on people who didn’t vote for her, she hasn’t been openly hostile to the country and her husband’s children from other marriages seem to respect and like her.

    Also, when she shows up at an event she looks like a gorgeous, friken model (which of course she was) but one with class. From what I’ve heard online (haven’t researched it or anything) she may be very smart too. And not that bullshit affirmative action smart that gets you into schools and you write papers wherein you show your utter stupidity and dumbness (like a former first lady who will remain nameless MICHELLE OBAMA!)

    Also, Michelle’s oldest daughter seems like spoiled brat, skank. She likes to lift her skirt and show her ass and she likes the weed a lot (much like her father on both counts).

  97. I try to run my office on time and my staff makes fun of me when I get agitated when we’re running late. It’s a twofold problem: patients hate being late and I want to get the fuck out of there too. The staff all go home when their shifts are over. I’m there until the work is done.

    Same thing with the OR. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve hung around ORs waiting for cases to start. If I’m late it’s a matter of concern and if it happens too often I’m labeled a disruptive physician and counseling is required. No one seems to give a flying fuck when the OR is running late. As it was today they were actually ready for my case and there were a few other cases waiting for that room. If I did my case I would have made 3 surgeons, 3 patients and 3 families all late. These parents are repeat offenders as far as being late or missing appointments.

    Only person I feel bad for is the kid who didn’t get to choose his parents

  98. Obviously, Jimbro, you were more than justified to tell those twats to F8ck off and reschedule.

  99. I totally understand how docs can get behind schedule. When I’m with my doc and don’t understand what he’s saying, I appreciate when he takes the time to break things down, which then makes my appointment take longer.

    If these parents are repeat offenders you were absolutely justified in burning them. Sounds like they should have known what to do, but were inconsiderate. Poor kid.

  100. For most kids going to the doctor is stressful. They know they’re going to be poked, or jabbed, or made to do something that hurts.

    So the kid was probably all stressed out, and now he has to stay that way for several more days.


  101. You know Car in, when I asked you for baby advice and you told me to shake him really hard, that was a bad idea.

    Sure, he sleeps a lot but now he acts like one of your kids.

    Just wait until he’s a teen. Look, I’m sorry. But I’m trying to share the pain. It sucks going through this alone.

  102. That’s no argument, Coalex. Everyone else’s musical taste does suck.

    I feel sorry for most of you.

  103. Just wait until he’s a teen. Look, I’m sorry. But I’m trying to share the pain. It sucks going through this alone.
    But I was trying to start a fight!

  104. Carin is a pacifist.

  105. Carin’s taste in music is abominable. No Russian or Prussian composers, no Eastern European power metal.


  106. Pointing out facts isn’t going to start a fight, MJ. Just like when I say MJ jr probably isn’t yours. Again. Not trying to start a fight.

    The fucking truth shall set us free.

  107. That’s because I’m ‘Merican, Leon. Fuck ya!

  108. Music from this century is awful thus far, I think that’s self-evident.

  109. Sirius has a “pop2k” station of music hits from 2000-2010.

    None of it is any good. Nickelback!

  110. Pop? Seriously what the fuck Leon?

  111. Exactly! What the fucking fuck?

    Why is any of this popular?

  112. Because your average music listener just wants to get drunk and dance. They don’t really care about composition or anything. It helps if they can sing along with the chorus the second go around.

  113. Describing your last CFIAC concert, Car in?

  114. Most music through history has been the equivalent of pop. It’s not meant to be serious, complicated, deep and meaningful, or anything else but entertainment for that moment.

  115. Oh, I know all that. Most of what makes so much classical music “good” is survivorship bias. All the shitty music from 400 years ago is entirely forgotten.

  116. I have a problem with a light in an upstairs closet. I took the light fixture down and will trouble shoot a loose connection inside the junction box.

    But whichever previous Joe Homeowner wired the room when it was converted from attic to finished space, wired the fucking place with #12 wire, which is a total pain in the ass to work with. #12 is what you use on 20amp circuits. #14 is what you use on 15amp circuits which is everything in the house except kitchens, dining rooms, and some specialty type circuits. #12 wire on a fifteen amp circuit is stupid. If you overload the circuit the breaker will trip before any wiring gets hot.

    Fuck #12 wire.

    And fuck amateur electricians who don’t know what they are doing.

  117. Try getting a real electrician out to do one fixture or outlet.

    They don’t even call back.

  118. This was the entire upstairs of the house – 850 square feet.

  119. Ali was a c*nt and so is Kaepernick.

  120. I might have been able to get a guy out for that, how many lights/outlets?

  121. December 1st and it’s in the high 40’s. Earlier this week we ran out of oil and had to call for an emergency delivery. The guy came within a few hours and filled the tank, bled the system and restarted it pronto. When Paula called they asked her if anything was different. Nope. If anything we’ve used less heating oil this year than last year. X

  122. X = fuck

  123. Pointing out facts isn’t going to start a fight, MJ. Just like when I say MJ jr probably isn’t yours. Again. Not trying to start a fight.
    The fucking truth shall set us free.
    But he looks just like me.


  124. Phone’s here.

  125. He does look just like you.

  126. Phone’s here.
    Thank god.

  127. Phone’s here

    See you Monday

  128. Probably about 20 outlets, 8 lights, an exhaust fan, a heat lamp, 2 smoke detectors, 8 switches, and a partridge in a pear tree.

  129. Does the partridge run on 120v or 220v?

  130. How does a builder like Hotspur not know an electrician to come in and do that work? What?

  131. Oh gawd. Is this an invitation to give electrical advice now?
    I can piss of HS, too??? I’m on a fucking roll here!

    I never put put more than 10 – 12 devices on any given circuit when wiring a house. Never.
    Nothing wrong (or out of code, anyway) with using 12ga on a 15a circuit during remodel, really, but why do it? The wire is more expensive. So it was probably just what was on hand, or some jackhole thought “bigger is better.”

  132. Mare, I do know electricians, but I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself, unlike Leon and his plumbing issues.

  133. Many homeowners ask me to have #12 installed. When I explain to them that the larger carrying capacity of the wire is useless because the breaker will trip before the wire gets hot.

    There are three circuits.

  134. Also, I tell them the electrician is going to charge more because of material costs, and labor. They hate working with it when they don’t have to.

  135. Mare, I do know electricians, but I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself, unlike Leon and his plumbing issues


  136. …fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…

  137. …fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…

  138. Sorry Leon, that low hanging fruit had to be picked.

  139. Nope. Not worth it.

  140. I know how apt you are at grabbing fruits, it’s understandable.

  141. I’m being told that Flynn has committed treason.

  142. Firing squad, then.

  143. I mean, if it’s really that, surely that must be what they intend.

    BTW, what does Podesta Group activity constitute in that light? Or Uranium One?

  144. https://tinyurl.com/yb57gdro

  145. Oh man you guys are cracking me up.

    I forgot to listen to Wiser’s show today, got all wrapped up in my various chores and projects.

  146. Its so funny. If this was the Right trying to make hay out of Ben Rhodes meeting with Russians after Obama’s election we’d be schooled in how ‘normal’ and ‘just part of the process’ it is.

    Willful ignorance and hard partisanship are cruel masters.

  147. *draws on poat’s face with a sharpie*

    *puts poat’s hand in a bowl of warm water*

  148. The crazy hoarder lady from down the street called me out of the blue just now. Haven’t talked to her in over a year. I did a few thousand $ worth of work repairing water damage at her house and she gave me an ’86 (?) diesel Mercedes as payment. 560 SDL?
    She wanted it back after 3 days, so I just handed her the keys and walked away.

    Now she wants to give it to me again – says she doesn’t want anything in return…

  149. Tell her to call a junkyard.

  150. But first, tell her to blow you.

  151. A kiss.

  152. Did we ever tell you guys about the mentally ill lady that lives next door to us?
    The one that wanted us to call her back on speaker phone so we could discuss the manner in which we use our own water in our own yard, with her?

  153. It’s actually a really nice, clean car, Laura. Probably needs a battery and could use rear springs, but it runs & drives fine.


  154. And it will probably keep going for 10 years or more.

  155. Easily, Scott. My last diesel was a ’92 F250 IDI – almost 300k miles when I sold her, and still running strong.you

  156. She’s a hoarder. You will never get that car. She’ll report it stolen first.

    Have a witness and get the title.

  157. Can you even drive that in Virginia? I thought they had that emissions testing rape thing down there?

  158. She wants you to take the car so she can trick you into working for her again.

    Does she have red hair?


  159. I know one thing she has for sure.


  160. If Chi gets legal title, he should trade the car immediately for a different car of equal value.

  161. Then hide that other car for several months.

  162. While telling his crazy neighbor lady that he crashed her car and totaled it.

  163. Greetings, people who could’ve sworn it was just Halloween a minute ago.

  164. Then after a decent interval he can bring his other car home without being hassled.

  165. Of course I know that she wants something, I just don’t know what yet. I already replaced 16′ of sill plate, a dozen floor joists, 12′ of waste pipe, installed a cleanout in the front yard…
    All for naught.

    I told her I wouldn’t even touch the key to the car without having a signed title this time. She giggled.
    I think they have the sniffer test for inspections in NorVa, but not down here (yet). We’ve turned blue, but we’re not California yet.

  166. She’ll accuse him of stealing the car and agree to drop charges if he does some work around the house.

  167. I told her I wouldn’t even touch the key to the car without having a signed title this time. She giggled.

    Don’t be fucking retarded.

  168. Oddly enough, no cats. She does have a German Shepherd – poor thing has never had any training whatsoever. As a man that likes dogs MUCH more than than i do most people, I can say that I hate that dog – if I had any extra money, I would gladly pay for some obedience classes.

  169. Don’t be fucking retarded.

    I don’t think this is a choice I can make. God made me the way that I am.

  170. Of course I know that she wants something, I just don’t know what yet.

    This is what we used to refer to as “low-hanging fruit.”

  171. Yeah that was an hanging inside curveball, Sean. Swing for the fences man.

  172. The D.

  173. https://is.gd/MWScpZ

  174. https://is.gd/sjh8GP

  175. https://is.gd/OuEqc5

  176. https://is.gd/OmESBl

  177. https://is.gd/9grVtb

  178. https://is.gd/RDwfWe

  179. Crap. I have ½ dozen emails to respond to. One in particular I have to put some thought into…
    Fuck you, Leon.

  180. https://is.gd/LREdpj

  181. You don’t have to email me. I won’t even be able to read it until Monday.

    It’s Guard Weekend, we have a visitation for a not-close friend of ours who suicided on Tuesday to go to on Saturday night, then a holiday party out at the base on Sunday.

  182. And I deserved that, but you should save your fucks for the hoarder.

  183. Close or not, I’m sorry to hear about your friend, leon.

  184. Thanks, Sean. I’m doing okay, but wife and I are heartbroken for his girlfriend and their little daughter. Poor thing is only 2yo, just a little younger than mine, and she’s never going to know her father.

  185. Fuck snow

  186. what in THEE FUCK is going on in here?

  187. SSDD, jam.

  188. Blerg

  189. I have a plumbing question. Or it is too soon?

  190. Too soon after what? Are we mourning someone else’s toilet?

  191. ^someone’s insensitive.

    I think maybe Sean needs a good “fuck off”.

  192. Eh. Nothing I haven’t heard before.

    Seriously, though, not sure why it would be “too soon.”

  193. Sean missed the fun last night

  194. Comment by lauraw on November 30, 2017 6:31 pm

    Yeah, I poured it out on your rug. That’s not dog pee. If you want a drink, you should go suck your wife’s ass.

    Okay, THAT was fucking funny.


  195. ahhh, pizza is done, for this week.

  196. Who’s gonna tell me what to do?
    Then they will say that I am true.
    Perhaps I’ll derp to a great success,
    Or possible a dreadful mess.

  197. She don’t like her eggs all runny
    She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny
    She looks down her nose at money
    She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
    She’s my baby
    I’m her honey
    I’m never gonna let her go

    He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays
    I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
    He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done
    Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen
    He’s my baby
    And I’m his honey
    Never gonna let him go

  198. Welcome to Saturday.

  199. Thanks. I’m going to make bacon and eggs for the crew, then maybe check out Toronto.

  200. Well that’s awfully nice of you. I’m looking for jobs and frettin’. Everybody else is sleeping. Apparently I’m on the 5 am wake schedule now. Wish I could sleep later, but no dice.

  201. Houseguest is usually up early too, but she’s still in her room too.

  202. OK, she just came out for coffee.

  203. I should have made my light cream yogurt last night. That would be good with some frozen strawberries right now. I’ll make it today for sure.

  204. It’s really Saturday already??

  205. Wakey wakey

  206. I figured my plumbing issue out. No fuck off were required.

  207. Rowan has no concept of weekends. 5AM means it’s time to get up, do a little downward dog stretch, shake his ears and hop up on the bed to rouse his humans.

  208. The boys have mentioned they’ve seen foxes lately and we’ve been skeptical. Especially since it’s been used as an excuse for a truncated frisbee session or walk out in the fields. Turns out they were right. We finally saw them in the fields this morning right before the sun rose over the opposite riverbank. Two foxes running around playing. I told Paula they were either fighting or fucking but after observing them longer I realized they must be juvenile foxes playing. Hopefully they make it through the winter and move on. Or just move on.

  209. I figured my plumbing issue out. No fuck off were required.

    This is a vicious microaggression and I’m frankly shocked at you. Stop plumbing-shaming Leon.

  210. Duty calls: AM scar massage duty

  211. “plumbing issue”

  212. I didn’t mean to Trigger Leon.

    Or maybe I did? I’m going through stuff … lashing out …

  213. https://tinyurl.com/yawhs7pg

  214. “scar massage”


  215. Duty calls: AM scar massage duty

    I could use a mental massage. I still have emotional scars from Leon’s abuse.

  216. She seems to enjoy the scar massage. Add a little lubrication, start with gentle circular motions with paired fingertips, then go side to side while increasing pressure and stroke length. By the time I’m finished I’m using both of my hands up to the entire palm. Sure it’s sore at first but by the end she feels so much better.

  217. Is Jimbro writing a letter to Penthouse Forum?

  218. *makes a face*

    *vomits delicately into coffee cup*

  219. Good fucking morning assholedicks.

  220. MJ, if we want something out of you we’ll kick it out of you.

  221. I’ve got some kind of cold that has my eustacian tubes full of fluid, baby has been up since 5am, and wanted to go for a walk outside at 8am in 32F. Wife will be home in 8 hours and then we get to go to the visitation.

    I guess it’s Sudafed and Dayquil and coffee and aspirin for me.

  222. Soup. You need soup. Go boil a chicken.

  223. Check the soup pot for the remote control. Check the chicken, too.

  224. Sean Connery in a Santa hat looks like grumpycat.

  225. Oh, and I was asked at 4 o’clock on Friday if I could have something done by Monday.

    I answered Fuck You. Paraphrased.

  226. I have beef broth in the fridge, Laura, but that’s for lunch time.

  227. MJ, if we want something out of you we’ll kick it out of you.
    Can I request a swift kick in the nuts? God I love that.

    Nothing quite like the feeling of nausea and seeing pain to remind you that you’re alive.

    *barfs in fruit loops, eats it, barfs again, more fruit loops, barfs on dog, dog runs around flinging barf everywhere, dog barfs, eats it, barfs again, baby licks barf off of dog, barfs, dog licks baby barf, barfs again.

  228. The Barf Loop is horrible.

  229. Boil a chicken?
    I never understood boiling meat. Seems so… Irish.
    But now I think I’m going to ½way smoke a chicken today and then roast it so I can make soup with the scraps. Thanks for the idea.

  230. I saw The Barf Loop open for Missing Remote at the Agora Ballroom back in ’89.

    They were really bad.

  231. Barf Loops – worst cereal ever.

  232. Soup made with the whole chicken is actually very nice. If I can find some old laying hens at the food store (labeled ‘fowl’, usually), even better. Those tough old things take about six hours to soften up in the broth, but it is superior viscous broth. Gels like crazy.

  233. Boiling used to be a really common way to cook pretty much everything. Even bread, though they called it “pudding”. It was probably the best way to make sure everything in the food was dead.

  234. I think it also used less wood than roasting, because the water holds so much heat.

    Plus, free soup.

  235. I remember a story told by my ex-stepdad’s son. He and a buddy were out camping/living in the woods for a long time, and they were starving.
    They found a dead animal…deer? Something with antlers. They were terrified of eating it. But what choice did they have.

    They cut what they could off of it and boiled it for days, including the antlers, until the bones and antlers dissolved.

    Lived to tell the tale, so apparently they destroyed whatever was in there that may have been dangerous.

  236. The only time I can recall boiling meat is either to make stock or when I make corned beef & cabbage. And that’s probably more of a braise right? It’s usually done in the crock pot.
    Dammit. Now I want some corned beef…
    Nope! It’s smoked chicken today – then white chilli with the leftovers.

  237. The remote is in the bread box, which is why Leon hasn’t found it yet.

  238. New poat.

  239. Lauraw’s camping story put me in the Barf Loop.

  240. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]

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