Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.
My new boss looks like a little grayer version of this guy.
He knows it, too.
Sunny beaches.
Need a nap?
Nice pose, not too many tats.
Last, but not least.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
October 26, 2016
Categories: As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, rhymes with "your mom", Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: roamingfirehydrant
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
04/25/17
I wrote to Hillary Clinton when she was the First Lady. Here is copy…
Dear Mrs. Clinton,
If you’d give President Clinton a blow job once in a while he wouldn’t put a cigar in a ladies (my mommy calls her a whore whatever that is) hooha.
Sincerely,
Mare
Prove I didn’t send that to her.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
Darnit, I don’t want to be first.
Segundo, perras.
Jack Chick died. I can’t say anything nice, so I’ll just pray for the repose of his soul.
wakey wakey
I said …. WAKEY WAKEY
We’re mourning Jack Chick.
Whoever that is.
Jack Chick??…….checking fucks…..Nope! No fucks to give….Next!
Caught another raccoon. Trail cam showed two of them entering the barn at 130am, one getting trapped, the other returning at 4am and then leaving.
Was he carrying bolt cutters?
This morning on MSNBC there are lots of ‘soft’ commercials for Hillary.
The Khans, I’m a Republican dad voting for Hillary, etc.
If she has to whip MSNBC this hard, she’s in trouble with enthusiasm.
And good morning.
Been watching True Detective with Mathew Wasshisname and Woody Harrelson. Pretty good so far, but some of it is really cheesy.
Jay, he was a whacko fundamentalist who wrote a lot of little comic books. He asserted in them that Catholics were behind literally every “bad” thing, including Islam and Jehovah’s Witnesses. Picture the neo-nazi that thinks “teh joooooooooos” and swap in Jesuits.
Was he carrying bolt cutters?
Fortunately no, and I keep mine in the house.
My kid looks at me from the corner of his eyes when the Hillary commercials come on to watch my reaction. He thinks my mutterings are funny.
Muslims for Hillary.
Good strategy.
I always try to relate politics to his world so he understands it better.
Michelle Obama? She fucked your school lunch up.
Question 4 (higher taxes on high earners for schools)? Oh, that’s the reason your Christmas list is going to be shorter this year.
Hillary? She’s a twat. (We don’t say cunt in front of the children)
And so on.
Honestly, I thought Jack Chick died long ago. Those stupid things of his are EVERYWHERE.
Went to have dinner with my daughter last night – and she said something I thought Leon would enjoy. She stated that she only likes her STEM classes. LOL. Hates the touchy feeling (liberal arts) bullshit. Says if she could only take STEM classes she’d be happy.
She’s decided she likes the pre-med track.
Read facts, learn facts, remember facts, spit facts up on tests.
Done.
The trick to humanities course requirements is a worthwhile language and something like “Great Books of Ancient Greece”.
Dear Abby,
I don’t think my beloved dogs cares for my prog metal music. WHenever I put it on, he gets up and leaves the room.
what should I do?
Concerned in Lapeer
Well, she has a few required courses for her Honor’s college.
They’re doing some sort of course on Detroit, and it’s rather squishy. SHe hates it.
If the syllabus has Thucydides, it’s a class worth taking.
I’m trying some bluegrass. See if he likes that better.
I should get our her course manual.
Try the Temptations.
Who doesn’t like 12 mins of funky bass?
Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like the car?
They’re doing some sort of course on Detroit, and it’s rather squishy. SHe hates it.
Unless the course nvolves hands on activities with dynamite, front end loaders, and a large landfill, it’s probably bogus.
Probably just embarrassed to be seen with you in Lesbaru. It’s a bit of a stereotype after all.
Try the Indigo Girls.
Actually, Detroit is turning into a really fricken cool city. There are problems in the neighborhood, but real recovery is going to start in the city . So.
Maybe if I covered my short hair with a hat?
No, that won’t work. CRAP.
You’d think the Not Hillary sticker would help? They probably just think I’m a Bernie fan …
Didn’t we used to do Halloween avatars? Man, this place is slipping.
Perhaps if you looked angry all the time?
I preferred the 2nd True Detective. The writer of True Detective co-wrote the new Mag 7. Enjoyed
Jehova’s Witnesses were a prank by the Dominicans that went wrong.
True Detective had Alexandria Daddario topless, so it is automatically good.
She has very large boobs. Also very pokey.
Jehova’s Witnesses were a prank by the Dominicans that went wrong.
And here I thought they were just modern Aryan heretics who were ignorant of history and any formal theology.
Or a ponzi scheme.
Drink description on FaceChimp:
Our own pepper infused vodka, smoked hardboiled egg, with bacon and ice cubes made with smoked water! Tastiest bloody I’ve ever had!!!
======
You’re slacking, Scott.
Actually sounds horrible.
Ick.
Leave out the egg, and it would be good.
Sunrise around 25 minutes ago. 76% humidity. Beautiful day already.
Game time today is 1pm.
SEIU scum in Connecticut sink to unbelievable depths with disgusting political ad.
http://www.courant.com/politics/elections/hc-petit-trump-ad-20161026-story.html
Deep in the story, it explains why this is such a despicable ad.
I am so fed up with this garbage.
The reason they do this is because nobody beats their fucking ass when they do these things. You think Dan Filson has security? Its long past time to make this kinda shit have immediate personal consequences. Same goes for the traitor “journalists” and their “editors”. Get caught lying or “mischaracterizing”, get your ass beat.
WHATS THE FREQUENCY KENNETH?
That’s pretty low, Wiser.
He’s a pretty remarkable man and doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
But as long as personal destruction wins elections we’ll see it. No matter the person running.
I watched the Newt interview with Megan Kelly. She got roasted.
At the end, she told Newt to work on his anger issues. She just had to have the last word and make sure it was a snide remark. Mean girls stick together!
Projection is in fashion this fall, and it’s all Megan wears anymore.
Congratulations, Laura.
Newt really lit her up, it was great.
He schlonged her.
Projection is in fashion this fall, and it’s all Megan wears anymore.
No leather bustier, ball-gag, and horse-tail buttplug?
Oh God, the Horde has finally discovered the wonders of Unicode character codes. May the Blogfathers have mercy upon us all…
(Nominating Den Beste as Patron Saint of Bloggers)
No leather bustier, ball-gag, and horse-tail buttplug?
Not since Brit stopped responding well to Cialis.
I got a new shark shirt!!! WooHoo! 8:47 local time. Dan has already walked my feet off. Nothing but stumps. I’m thinking about board shorts and tank tops for the rest of the vacay. The glow you’ll see from the Pacific will be the reflection off my legs.
Mare, what’s up with boiled peanuts on Oahu? I knew they were everywhere in FL, but Oahu?
I’d bet peanuts grow really well there.
It’s too hot to roast them?
Does anyone wonder why Oso is on vacation 51 weeks of the year?
Lady in front of me at Meijer earlier was talking about her upcoming vacation with the lady in front of her and then paid with EBT. Slowly.
I’ve taken 4 days off in the last 6 years that weren’t a national holiday, and I used those partially in hopes of finding a better job.
Heh, still gotta burn vacation days here. Too busy to take time off.
Dan is the master of cheap vacations. Room is great, until we go out on the lanai. 6th floor. Sliver of a mountain view. Parking structures and hotel towers. Walk through the mall parking lot….Ala Moana beach park and Ala Wai harbor.
There is a $.10 surcharge on plastic bags. Like Santa Fe. My carryon was my backpack and I had 3 backsacks in my backpack. We have a mini fridge and a microwave in the room. Dan loaded me up like a packmule while walking my feet to stumps this AM. Mass was at 7AM but the church was locked up like Ft Knox until a little before 7.
Veritas 4 drops
$20k from Belize.
Oahu bus/shuttle drivers are the best. Very funny. Tourist friendly and helpful…until you piss one off. Fun times! Our shuttle driver was being local friendly with us. Pulls up to hotel, haole started talking shit to him…blah blah MFer you nearly ran me over…what’s your name? I’ll report you!!!! Driver: You weren’t in crosswalk, you can’t call me names, what’s your name asshole? Asshole. (I love this place!)
Old Asian/Portagee deal, Oso. I use to buy them all the time.
http://tinyurl.com/h5xjf6t
Halloween avatar? I like the idea. Hope it shows up soon. It’s kinda pretty. I think it uses those color-changing fire thingies. We sell them at work so people can jazz up their firepits and such.
Yay! It shows
Gonna harvest my bok choi tomorrow and attempt to make kimchi for the first time. I didn’t grow napa cabbage in the garden but I read bok choi is an acceptable sub.
Honestly, don’t know why anybody would buy the color-change things. People gaze into fire already. No enhancement required.
Thanks, Mare. We saw they were an Aloha Stadium specialty and we’d never noticed them on the other islands. They’re everywhere. Just regular. Not Sriracha’d or Cajun’d like FL.
Awkward Niece Moment
Niece: I hate it when guys stare at my boobs. It’s pervy.
Me: Lily, you wear low cut tops that show cleavage. What do you expect?
Niece: I expect guys not to objectify me.
Me: Then wear loose turtlenecks.
Niece: Why should I have to? I’m not the one perving.
Me: Actually, you kind of are. Guys are hardcoded to be attracted to women, especially certain parts like breasts and butts. When girls wear tight clothes and revealing blouses, they invite the behavior.
Niece: So you blame me.
Me: Lily, it makes me uncomfortable. As a guy, I want to look. As your uncle, I have to fight the urge. Guys not related to you have no reason to fight it, because you invite it.
Niece: *rolls eyes* Uncle Geoff, you grew up in a different time. Things have changed.
Me: I’ll say. When I grew up the only time you had a shot at a girl’s tits was at the beach.
Niece: It’s still wrong, and I’m the victim.
Me: Go get a sweater from your Auntie, then tell me about your semester in Japan.
Sheesh, what the fuck do they teach kids about psychology? Girls can do whatever they want – boys are pigs. Got it.
Let me edit this for better understanding. My clarifications appear in brackets.
Niece: I hate it when [guys I am not attracted to] stare at my boobs.
Niece: I expect [guys I am not attracted to] not to objectify me.
fin
lol That sums it up nicely.
Ima say that to her.
Heck, I look at boobs if they’re out there. And I judge, harshly. Especially the tatted low-shirt wearing super push up bra girls I work with. If you don’t want guys looking at your tit tats, cover ’em up.
Your neice should count her lucky stars. The times now are so much better for women that she’s kind of spoiled and so she doesn’t understand what being objectified really is.
Oh, boo hoo! Being stared at while openly flaunting yourself. Give me a break.
When I was a young teenager, I had a experiences where men would say filthy things to me, or make a come-on, and I certainly wasn’t dressed provocatively. I was in middle school, not a college-age kid. Being sexualized by someone was very shocking and frightening to me at the time.
It was even worse when my mom was younger. She has stories of being a female and working in the old Royal typewriter factory that would curl your hair. Men could behave like absolute swine back then.
Your niece is destined for a poor life outcome with that amount of cognitive dissonance.
If you don’t like the results that your behavior generates, change the behavior. To do otherwise and hope the outcome will change is just superstitious.
Tit-tats now come in herpies flavor.
She’s really a sweet kid. No tattoos. Ears pierced, but that’s it. Pretty much dresses like every other young woman. Has a steady boyfriend. But her head is filled with total SJW bullshit, and buys all of the media hype about rape culture. She’s in her senior year at State, and intends to move to Japan when she graduates.
Her first career goal is to get a job as a translator at the UN.
Give me points for not telling her that the UN is evil bullshit. HotBride would kill me.
In school, we have a situation where everyone who uses this one lab classroom is having a shitty learning experience. The complaining got so bad that various professors were at each others’ throats, or blaming the student body.
I have pointed out to various members of the faculty that THE LAB ROOM SUCKS. It is too small, nobody can find their supplies, people are stashing things in stupid places, and at any given time, half the students cannot see what the professor is demonstrating because the layout in there is so bad.
If everybody is doing the same thing, then the problem is likely being caused by the environment. But they don’t listen.
This is the same problem your niece is having. She is creating the environment for guys to screw up, and then blaming them for screwing up.
And your niece’s tits are nice, by the way. I looked. I had to. They were right there.
Ditto on what Lauraw said. There were no speech “Safe Zones” back in the day.
If she thinks America has a rape culture, she’s going to love taking mass transit in Japan.
Any muzzie majority community in the US. Worse than walking in front of the football dorm back in the day.
Mare, when she was little
http://tinyurl.com/hcxk5kh
I don’t know why my comment got cut in half but I’m going to go back and magically fix it.
Men have to look.
When I met her she was five, and would bring over a book, and ask me to read it to her. Somehow she magically transformed into a woman.
Weird how that happens.
D’awww. It goes by fast, doesn’t it? My niece reminds me so much of my sister at her age that I just want to hug the stuffing out of her and go play jump rope.
Messicans: She doesn’t cook, or clean… why did you marry her?
Dan: I don’t know. All she wants to do is drink, watch sports, and stare at tits.
Messicans: You’re our hero!
Rains!
http://tinyurl.com/habytbc
SEIU scum in Connecticut sink to unbelievable depths with disgusting political ad
When has Trump ever attacked women and families? I noticed they didn’t discuss how his policies will do that either. But Hillary promises more of Obama-style unemployment and EBT dependence. How is that good for women and families?
https://is.gd/yNEM0e
Behind the back, no look
CoAl, you made Dan laugh. I’m Jerry not George in the Seinfeld clip. True Story: I notice everything. The patch of hair you missed shaving your legs, the varicose veins, the moose knuckles or the gunt? Noticed. Sometimes remarked. I live in fear of ending up in a PoW post or being noticed. Dan has no shame. He wears socks with Crocs unironically.
Scott, for never meeting me, you know me well.
OT but related to conversation and Scott’s link. While in 7th grade a kid I’d gone through school with since kindergarten was egged on to cop a feel from me while I was at the drinking fountain. I punched him in the face much like that little girl punched the ghoul.
Hahahaha
Mare was badass. And probably had a bad ass.
Hotspur, you show a lot of patience with your niece. I’d be tempted to sa, “Don’t be a dumbass.”
We all know that the little girl in Scott’s link was Mare. I think if I lived on Oahu, I’d wear the chick uniform. Board shorts, tank top, and flip flops. My legs already have definition. My calves are huge. I just need some base tan.
I’m trying to slowly undo years of public school education, then college indoctrination.
She has an Irish uncle who was pretty high up in UNICEF, so she has an easy route to the UN. I’m trying to get her to at least think twice before she says or thinks dumb shit.
Hotspur, one bite at a time.
Oso, where are you eating dinner tonight??
She was eligible to vote in ’12, and was in the tank for Obama. HotBride started linking her to articles for possible objective research. Her mom told HotBride to stop. She did not want her to see that shit.
You do the math.
Niece: *rolls eyes* Uncle Geoff, you grew up in a different time. Things have changed.
When have men stopped caring about boobs? When did this change? Does she really want that to change? Does her boyfriend oogle her boobs? Is that wrong?
My daughter is an adult. Stop asking her to think.
If a boy looks at tits in the woods, and no one is around to see him do it, is he still a perv?
What is a ‘gunt’ and should I be afraid to know?
^ I have this question too ^
I have no idea, but I am pretty sure you should be afraid.
There’s a guy at work who I’ve caught staring at my tits and licking his lips. I don’t wear low-cut shirts at work. I think the lip-licking thing is a nervous habit (he does it to the male co-workers, too, NTTAWWT), but it escalates into perv range.
He and I got into a shouting match last Friday because I didn’t include him in my flight experiment. He says it was his idea but has done jack shit the last year. I don’t care, I don’t need him or want to work with him, and the lip-licking while staring just cranks the NO! to eleventy.
Comment by leoncaruthers on October 26, 2016 7:35 pm
If she thinks America has a rape culture, she’s going to love taking mass transit in Japan.
=======
But you have to respect their culture, Leon….
And yeah, I did tell one woman at work, “You complain about the guys staring at your rack, but you show enough cleavage, there’s an echo.”
My daughter is happy she is flat chested and doesn’t care for low cut, revealing clothes. She doesn’t like that kind of attention. If she had a bigger chest, I have no doubt she would have gone baggy in the shirtage.
roamy, do the ‘MY EYES ARE UP HERE’ thing to pervy lip licker.
Mare, we are eating at a noodle stand or a walk up restaurant at the Shirokiya Japan Village Walk at Ala Moana Mall. There is so much growth around here. Tomorrow, we are going to Waikiki for Mass at St Augustine and lunch at Teddy’s Better Burger.
lol Beasn knows what to do.
–noun. a particularly fat pelvic area on a woman; “FUPA”. Specifically: fat – often hanging fat – between the stomach and genitals. From “gut” + “cunt”. The waitress’s gunt touched my arm when she leaned over the table.—
*scratches my gunt and belches*
Gut+Cunt=Gunt. Higher than a cameltoe or moose knuckle.
I saw Pervy Lip Licker open for Uncalled For Cleavage at the Grande Ballroom in ’76.
I scratched your mom’s gunt.
*stops staring at everyone’s boobs
It’s all confusing.
FUPA is the mons pubis. Never seen one that hung.
Gunt seems to be the fat hanging from the gut..over the mons?
Who makes up these words?
gross fat as hell people, evidently, trying not to get triggered.
Trigger was a horse, wonder if that’s a fat joke too.
Wow, CBS in Denver investigated voter fraud. All examples are Republicans except for one Independent…..
http://tinyurl.com/jdy2pdz
Hillary sounds more like a gunt than a cunt.
I keep seeing these stories about how ‘the fixer’ found prostitutes and hook ups for both Clenis and Gunt. Can you really see her getting nekkid and slathery on anyone? Perhaps they have to be drunk or drugged?
*vomits*
Hillary and slathery is the grossest thing ever.
IKR?
The brain just doesn’t want to go there.
Evening Hosta…….dammit beasn. The hell?
“Can you really see her getting nekkid and slathery on anyone? ”
Only in Florida or Ohio.
I don’t think even Florida would go that far, Scott. I mean, sure, we’ll get high and eat your face, but Hillary? No way.
Gunt, Fupa, Cameltoe, mooseknuckle…these are only a few of the reasons I’m against yoga pants in public. I’ll worry about gross cleavage displays later.
Last time Clinton got nekkid and slathery …. well, it never happened. Or if it did, the vomit was hip deep.
I’ve learned not to underestimate the depravity of Florida Man.
In defense of Pervy Lip Licker, Roamy does have a rack worth staring at.
I’m telling you, the biggest toothless hoosier at the Walmart I worked at, went from girlfriend to girlfriend. He didn’t want to work full time and had zero money to his name.
And my tall, good looking, employed at a good company, son has a hard time finding dates.
FL man ruined my game of Guess That State? Ohio used to be a contender until headline writers ruined the game.
Who the fork is Uncle Geoff?
Sounds like a perv.
Beasn worked with Sean’s penis?
Probably.
Btw Oso, I was given the go ahead for baseball threads for each WS game.
I move that we strike the word ‘slathery’ from the Hostages lexicon, until a more appropriate human subject for this adjective can be identified; someone such as your mom.
Seconded
Yay Bcoch!!!! Talkin baseball, Carew and Gaylord Perry, talkin baseball🎶🎶🎶⚾️
I like Laura’s avatar.
And I second her motion on the slathery deal.
And anything to do with Bill with his short, bent weiner having sex. Or Hillary having “sex.”
Every batter is spitting all over the batting box.
I’m not sliding into that.
Baseball is grosser than Hillary slather.
You’ve never spit on it and then slid in, Scott?
*waits*
Lots of crotch grabbing in baseball which I’m not a fan of. Also the crazy superstitious repeats making each at bat long enough for contemplating a land invasion of Asia.
Slathery is too close to the Jabberwocky
http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html
I don’t speak Florida.
Is that parking attendant talk?
Motion is passed.
However, let us commend beasn for coming up with such a curiously vile non-word. I couldn’t find it at Webster’s, but I instinctively knew what it meant, in a strangely specific and disquieting way. Nicely done, ma’am.
I’d like to defend Florida since I previously lived here 14 years and now another year and, well, I see lots of “Florida man and women”
Jabberwocky makes me miss Sohos
Damn Yankee transplants, mare.
*curtsies*
Do you think Gunt wipes her own ass or does she only need to change a bag?
A guy in Florida does it.
Okay, I ‘painted’ a pumpkin suit on my avatar but I can’t get to wordpuss to change it. My server seems to be constipated this evening.
Beisbol been berry berry good to me.
I made Mississippi pot roast for dinner. Meh. Going to keep the butter and the pepperocinis, gotta figure out something different for the au jus and ranch dressing mixes. All I could taste was the MSG.
Roamy, my sis made one of those a while back. I thought it was very good. I could ask her for the recipe and you can compare, if you like.
Bcoch, yes, please.
I did use brand name seasonings (Knorr, Hidden Valley). Sometimes the generic is off.
Will do.
Bill grabs them by the gunt.
Roamy, Dan made it too. Very salty. Already tweaking for next time.
Try the Better than boullion beef base, instead of the au jus mix. Won’t be as salty.
Dan and I each bought shirts at the Crazy Shirts outlet. Flawed. Total bill was $23. Clerk: “You can’t even see the flaws. That’s like the total for less than 1 shirt” Dan: (Smile) Serial though, I got a cute shirt for $9.99 at Crazy Shirts. Squeeeee
Went down to “The Coma”(Tacoma) today to renew my gun permit. I used my subpoena as a parking-pass in a lot near the courthouse. It was raining like shit and half dark. The drive sucked.
When I got in there and started filling-out the app, water ran off my Stetson onto the paper. Did I mention that it was raining, hard?
I noticed a new question on the paper:
“Are you addicted to, or, a user of narcotics, including marijuana?”
Pot is legal here, but if you have a medical pot card or admit to smoking legal pot, you will NOT get a gun permit.
The gun dealers have all gotten the letter from the BATFE that says;
“If you sell a firearm to a drug user we will pull your license and prosecute you.”
Strange days…
Work was fucking slathery tonight.
I slathered a little too much hot mustard on my Mongolian BBQ tonight.
(True story. That shit is HOT!)
Xbrad, you still don’t have a blog?
I slathered in the shower.
*lifts up gunt*
Does this look infected to you?
xbradtc.com
Ate chinese food at a walk up in a parking garage of a mall. Followed up with a $1 Primo beer. Clerk at jewelry store told us to avoid Waikiki on Halloween. We red-eye Monday night so that won’t be an issue.
Well someone told me yesterday
That when you throw your love away
You act as if you just don’t care
You look as if you’re going somewhere
But I just can’t convince myself
I couldn’t live with no one else
And I can only play that part
And sit and derp my broken heart