19th Annual Great Pumpkin Festival

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Dear fuquar’s de hose,

It’s that time of year again…Halloween(er)!!!!!!

As you know, we’ve spent the past 18 years showing each other our pumpkins, and this year is not the time to quit. We are simply 2 legitimate to do so. 2 legit to quit.

This Saturday, at 12pm EST I will begin a thread so scary, so frightening, so goddamn shart inducing that you’ll, er, shart.

Side note: I would like a thesaurus for Christmas. Just sayin’.

See you this Saturday,

MJ

 

 

 

87 Comments

  1. Wtfits?

  2. I feel threatened, nay…

    #TRIGGERED

  3. I looked at the map again today and it’s going to be close.

    Trump is up in OH, tied in AZ, NC, FL. I think he’ll win those states.

    VA is solidly D and will be forever. Govt employees live there. CO is probably going to go D. I’d be shocked if it didn’t.

    NH is probably going D as well. NV probably doesn’t matter because it looks like it all comes down to PA.

    That’s a big hill to climb. A really big one. There will have to be a ton of crackers voting for Trump to offset the city vote.

    Romney lost by 300K votes or 4% points. Even with the black vote down and a modest pick up by Trump that still leaves him a 220K vote hole. That’s a lot.

  4. Wtfits?
    ———–
    STFU

  5. “Wtfits?
    ———–
    STFU”

    lol

  6. Lots of coal mines in PA.

  7. What kind of soup does the proctologist serve in the waiting room?

  8. Crevitche’

  9. “Wtfits?
    ———–
    STFU”
    lol
    ——-
    GDIAF

  10. Upon further review, it all comes down to Philly.

    It’s about a 50-50 split, cracker v black. But the vote tally was +450K for Obama. He actually lost the rest of the state but that was enough.

    Thank god there’s no voter fraud in Philly.

  11. Or New Black Pampers.

  12. What’s the population of Philadelphia?

  13. Same as Your Mom.

  14. We cracker stackers will have The Bitchface Queen. After her Warren then Chelsea.

    Chug-a-lug. It wont hurt much longer.

  15. Ten bucks says after Clinton’s first term, Kaine steps down, and she selects Lieawatha. Then Liawatha runs in 2024, and chooses the Wookie. And so it will go. This will last generations.

  16. Mount Gay
    Fish Sticks
    Arby’s

  17. You see everything, Hotshot.

  18. Mmmmmmm Arby’s.

  19. I’m watching a Trump speech from FL today.

    He’s really throwing some shade on Obama. His impression is pretty funny.

  20. New voter registration is off the charts in CT. Nobody has ever seen anything like it.

    Hillary isn’t going to win.

  21. Scott, if you are right then I am flying out to buy you a beer.

    I may stay over late.

  22. It’s only if the new voters are legal. A big spike in registrations would point towards shenanigans in my opinion.

  23. I really want it to go to a tie just for the chaos it would cause.

  24. If Trump pulls it off then I will dip my balls in pudding.

  25. Let’s all meet at HSs house.

    The ghetto bar is fabulous.

  26. https://is.gd/9tURwd

  27. If Trump wins I’m going to really wish I was still at F*rd, just for a day, to hear the lamentations of the H1Bs.

  28. If Trump wins you should put flyers up on all the windshields offering cheap rides to the airport.

  29. Democrats don’t need to cheat to win in CT.

  30. Hi guys!

    So, how many of us kicked a big scary exam’s bitch-ass all over the schoolyard today? Huh?

    *raises hand*

    *looks around*

    *waves raised hand around, looking around for more people*

    Oh, no, so just me?
    Okay then.

  31. Yay!

    *stands up to high-five Lauraw*

    *steps on corner of snuggie*

    *crashes through glass end table*

    *bleeds out because she hasn’t got to the whole vascular section yet*

  32. Democrats don’t need to cheat to win in CT.

    …but they do it anyway, just to stay in practice. Bridgeport, Waterbury, Stamford, Hartford. The names of the other hellmouths that always report last, with profoundly damning irregularities, escape me right now.

  33. GODDAMMIT.

    *pulls out medical-surgical nursing textbook*

    HOLD ON, MAN!! THIS CHAPTER IS SEVENTEEN PAGES!!

    *reads furiously*

  34. Should I skim some of this? There’s no mention of furniture in, like, this whole thing.

  35. Evening fuckers. Ok which one of you has the good drugs and is willing to share?

  36. Good job, Hump.
    Scott sayd that when T. Rump wins I can mive in with ye and have strikg beans and pie.

  37. Laura, my exams were a couple weeks ago. Finals start in two weeks.

  38. In nursing school we get an exam or two almost every week. I’m ready to cut a bitch.

  39. That’s gonna be the next exam. Then you’ll have to properly treat the wound.

  40. Has Scott told you how scammy exams are?

    Just curious.

  41. Don’t get me started on Big Textbook.

  42. Exams are fine. It’s the quizzes that are the scams.

  43. Bill Clinton is going to die pretty soon.

    My guess is 6 years.

  44. How’s the shoulder, Bcock?

  45. Shitty, Pupster. Suffered a setback and PT folks are unsure why. My external rotation went from 35 degrees (within acceptable parameters at this point) to 10-15 degrees today. And fuck did that 10-15 hurt. Combined with the increase in pain and me being a Type 1 diabetic, there’s some concern about the beginning of “Frozen Shoulder”. I go see the ortho tomorrow for my 6 week follow up. Discussion will be lengthy and I need more than another pain pill prescription and “everyone heals at different rates.”

  46. It’s the Great Pimpkin, Charlie Brown!

  47. That’s a lotta green.

  48. If Hillary! wins, then expect Bill to pass suddenly soon after the election. She won’t want her reign tainted with rumors that Bill was the real power behind the throne.

  49. Ten bucks says after Clinton’s first term, Kaine steps down, and she selects Lieawatha. Then Liawatha runs in 2024, and chooses the Wookie. And so it will go. This will last generations.

    Either the Chinese or the Russians won’t let that much pussy go ungrabbed for that long.

  50. Bill’s Penis will have it’s own monument over there right next to the Lincoln Memorial. It’ll be all refrigerated and shit like Lenin’s tomb. Bimbos will parade by all day long every day paying homage to Bill’s Penis.

  51. Bill’s Penis will have it’s own monument over there right next to the Lincoln Memorial. It’ll be all refrigerated and shit like Lenin’s tomb. Bimbos will parade by all day long every day paying homage to Bill’s Penis.

    Fucker. I’m gonna have nightmares now.

  52. bcoch, something similar happened to guy I worked with.

    If the mystery isn’t resolved soon, ask to be tested for Lyme disease.

    He went through hell. Apparently, Lyme disease likes to party in weakened joints.

  53. New email batch shows panic about emails between barack and hill,

    https://is.gd/GhlmGS

    The funny part to me was not them using gmail accounts to discuss it, with their real names, but some of the cc’s STILL GOING TO THE ILLEGAL SERVER “hrcoffice.com” after the scandal broke.

    These are not smart people.

  54. Aloha, y’all. BRB, gotta read the comments

  55. Did everyone catch the story about the Lenovo laptops?

    State dept people aren’t supposed to use them, turns out the Chinese Gov’t loaded them with spyware.

    Hillary’s lawyers used Lenovo laptops.

    It’s very likely that China has all of her email.

  56. But remember, everyone benefits from importing all of our technology from China!

  57. Happy Birthday, XBrad!!! Scott, they’ll still vote for her. Oahu is like Albuquerque this election cycle…nothing but local races have signs. Even the corner people only had local races. Weird.

  58. Hang loose crazy bear.

  59. Oso doesn’t ocean.

  60. The ocean is full of sharky-sharky.

  61. and fish sperm and cooties.

  62. Happy birthday, XBrad!

  63. If the mystery isn’t resolved soon, ask to be tested for Lyme disease.
    He went through hell. Apparently, Lyme disease likes to party in weakened joints.

    Holy hell. Thanks for the heads up.

    And Happy Bday, xbrad!

  64. You guys know about Bill’s penis, right?

  65. I like looking at and listening to the ocean. Won’t willingly go near it.

  66. Who doesn’t?

  67. Oso won’t go near it.

  68. I know who I’m voting for President.

  69. CoAl, not a very diverse ticket.

  70. Diversity is a scam

  71. Wednesday fast began about 15 minutes ago.

  72. The right kind of diversity to the situation isn’t a scam. Unfortunately the diversity-uber-alles folks don’t understand the purpose of diversity.

  73. Blondes, brunettes, and redheads?

  74. Chocolate and vanilla?

  75. “Wtfits?
    ———–
    STFU”
    lol
    ——-
    GDIAF

    FOADIAF

  76. Drove half way around Michigan today, it seems. To ann arbor, lincoln park, dertroit, back to Lincoln park, then back to detroit, then up to lapeer.

    blerg

  77. roamy, how did Mr RFH’s beer brewing go? Was it an extract recipe?

  78. chicken titties are done, and delicious!

  79. Monday -tuesday (24 hr) fast ended about 3 hours ago.

  80. Jay, yes, but there were also cracked grains. The kitchen smelled like burnt chocolate until the day warmed up enough (62) for me to open windows.

  81. Partial extract, those are good beers! Nice flavor!

  82. MeAgain bashing Pence, too

    It’s for the women!

  83. YES, Laura! I’m so glad you did well, otherwise, well, some of us just didn’t want to be associated with a “loser”

  84. I guess Perez just said “Fuck you Jobu, I do it myself.”

  85. I like to do just like the rest, I like my sugar sweet
    But guarding fumes and making haste
    It ain’t my cup of meat
    Ev’rybody’s ’neath the trees
    Feeding pigeons on a limb
    But when Derp the Eskimo gets here
    All the pigeons gonna run to him

  86. SuhWheat


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