Hi mare!!! You might be asking yourself, “boobylover, did MJ forget that he’s supposed to put up the jugs today?’ The answer of course, would be no. That would never happen. Go sit in the corner, boobylover.
Today I’d like to introduce you to a musical group straight outta Compton. And by Compton I mean a nice wholesome midwestern town called Charlotte. Going to see this group in September…again. You guys are all welcome to join me. We’ll be staying in a cabin just outside of Asheville and going to a bunch of breweries throughout the weekend.
*
*
You’ve seen this ugly ho before. Her name is Jordan Carver and there’s much debate about the authenticity of her sweater cannons. I’ve applied for a grant to study them through the OPTSDF&TOSIAUM (Office of Professional Titty Squeezing, Drooling, Fondling, & Touching One’s Self in an Unchaste Manner). I expect to hear back presently.
*
*
*
*
*
189 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
She seems nice boobs
Morning.
Morning!
She has build in cheaters for her push ups. No fair!
Probably like kipping in crossfit, amirite?
And now to see what NBC thought of the GOP debate.
She seems real spectacular.
Wakey wakey
She’s got some seriously tig ol bitties.
Sigh
http://www.freep.com/story/news/local/2015/08/07/house-speaker-orders-investigation-reported-coverup-affair/31274087/
Yes. I know him. His kids played soccer on my kid’s team. His wife comes into my restaurant every so often and I always chat a bit with her.
Awesome.
This girl’s boobs are distracting me from the now.
The now is a scam.
This weekend:
1) clear front of barn for hay delivery tomorrow morning.
2) stack hay in loft when delivered
3) swap right front blinker bulb in f150
4) deadlifts and squats
5) mass
6) rcia
7) bench, rows, press, chinups, delts
8) mow lawn
9) build ikea chair
1 is tonight, 2-4 are Saturday, 5-9 are Sunday. Somewhere in there I need to plant some pole beans.
This weekend – next weekend:
1) replace flooring in downstairs floor of my house, including living room, dining room, and kitchen.
Watched most of the prime time debate.
Thought Cruz, Walker, Carson, and Rubio, did well. Carson seems too nice a guy to be able to deal with the den of vipers in DC. He’d be good as VP or some cabinet position.
Half of those up on stage, shouldn’t have been up on stage. Fiorina and Perry should have been in Kasich and Chrispy Cremes place, but this was done in Ohio, right, thus explains Kasich. It was a suck-up.
I was giving Rand Paul the benefit of the doubt, prior to the debate. He came off as annoyed and, I don’t know…..angry adolescent? Though I did like him going after Fat Boy over the NSA.
Huckabee had some good lines but he pissed me off regarding means testing Social Security. I don’t give a flying f*ck how rich you are; if you paid into it, it is your money – not for him to steal. SS should be privatized.
Trump came off a tad sleazy and his previous flip flopping…can’t trust him. Though, Romney flipped and flopped a bit, he came off more trustworthy.
The rest….meh.
*disclaimer — any one of them would be an improvement over what we have now and would be much better than the corrupt hag, Cankles.
Oh, and the remark by Trump regarding calling women fat — ‘Only Rosie ODonnell’
LOL
leaving for India in a few hours. Hold the fort…
Oh…oh…wanna know the best part?
Beasnson texted me after the debate was over to tell me he watched some of it but isn’t sure which one did best.
Said Walker stood out to him and while he doesn’t like Trump, he does like that he isn’t PC.
It brought a tear to my eye. My kids usually go all Axel (The Middle) on me when the topic of politics come up.
Safe travels, Tushar, and don’t drink the water.
>>*disclaimer — any one of them would be an improvement over what we have now and would be much better than the corrupt hag, Cankles.
THIS. This should be carved into a huge hammer and every right leaning voter should be beat upside the head with that hammer.
>>Safe travels, Tushar, and don’t drink the water.
Beasn, six bottles of Scotch Whiskey are packed.
What does good American whiskey sell for in India?
You know what? Social Security is already screwed up. You’re gonna have to means test it, because the money is already gone.
We already bought a Studebaker, and there isn’t a company to back up the warranty anymore. Might as well get used to that, cuz that’s what is going to happen. Better the top end gets mean tested out, than everybody losing it.
The money may already be gone, but there are valid IOUs in those file drawers. Everyone who paid in should get what’s theirs. Take it away from the foreign aid bullshit and welfare assholes whose families have been collecting for generations.
Funny how Washington can spend money on all manner of new fucktarded programs, but can’t put the money back they stole from SS.
Hey, we should really give free high speed internet to welfare queens, so their eight babies by eight different baby daddies can use FB and surf for porn.
Social Security is a scam.
Leon, very few people in India have acquired a taste of American whiskeys. It is mostly Scotch.
I think I did take a Bourbon for my BiL last time. But there is no market there yet.
Hotspur, yes we should stop most foreign aid and welfare, but that would be a drop in the bucket. SS deficit is just too freaking large.
That idea I can get behind, HS.
And Tushar is right.
Plus, we voted to give all that money away. Pretending that we can pay back those IOUs is folly.
I just saw the opening of yesterdays debate, where Trump refused to pledge that he won’t run third party. Get rid of him NOW. He is a Hillary plant. This will be Ross Perot all over again.
I don’t care how it is done. This person needs to drop out of politics, or say hello to President Hillary.
They started a new “competition” level wod at crackfat. I’m gonna call it the “burnout” level. I mean doing those WODs every once and a while would be cool but to work out at that level – when it’s not your “career”? You have a job unrelated to a gym etc. It’s just crazy.
I think they’re just inspired by the recent crossfit games. I bet the majority of those people don’t actually do anything else. Or their jobs are merely there to support their training etc.
SS had been fubar’ed by ssdi. You gotta convince all those folks with fake back pain that they can find another job.
Ain’t gonna happen.
I like this. Strong letter to follow.
Trump started to get himself out of the race all by himself last night. People didn’t like him. The moderators didn’t do him any favors, and were horribly unprofessional, especially Megyn, but Trump shot himself in the foot.
I can’t wait to see how the media is gonna try and trip up Fiorina now. I think she’s at the big table, after her performance yesterday. Didn’t see or hear much about Perry (was working in the garage) so I figure put a fork in him, unless he does something spectacular.
Trump going third party is the only way Hillary can win. Clintons know it and thus the phone call.
What bugged me most about him, last night, was his admitted cronyism. “I give to everybody because when I need them, they are there for me.”
Er, isn’t that one of the big things pissing people off about D.C.?
SS needs to be phased out entirely except for current beneficiaries. Tell everybody below a certain age that it will not be there for them, and give them the real truth on the raw deal: they will be making direct payments to the needy elderly. Period.
But good news: as the numbers of the beneficiaries of SS are reduced by attrition, your contribution amounts will be reduced accordingly over time.
And here are some new investment options on the free market that will be flocking to gather your guaranteed tax-free contributions to your own *whatever you call this* accounts.
Everybody between that age and the first age of SS distribution needs to be split into a few groups of age ranges. They should be informed that their deal has been altered. Pray that we do not alter it further.
And offer them hybrid deals between the two formats, with ‘promised’ bennies scaled down at the lower ages.
Basically, the government has to come out and explain demographic reality to folks.
*laughs, cries* Yeah. That’ll happen.
Keep kicking the can.
Laura, your plan is sound. The only way to get this done is to hold 530 congressman and 100 senators at gunpoint, get them to sign this into law, and then force them again to vote on the veto override.
But…but…all those poor people who can’t get jobs! Who will take care of them now and when they’re old?
Oh wait…that wasn’t really a problem prior to SS because the family and the community took care of that. And able-bodied people were shamed for being slackers.
“plant some pole beans”
Worst euphemism evah……………
Problem is, too many people don’t want to take care of family members. They’re happy for Uncle Sugar to steal from the evil rich because they don’t need that kind of money. It’s not right.
My mom’s going full retard on facedouche.
I’m not taking care of her when she’s old(er).
Taxpayers shouldn’t have to either, Car in.
Lots of people don’t plan and save when they’re young because they have it in their heads that SS will provide what they need later.
My parents are like that.
I remember when my friend’s parents died and she had to close out their estate. They had less than $5k in savings, and a second mortgage on their home. Her dad made good money at his job, but they had nothing to show for it. They were planning on SS to take care of them in old age.
^^They both died in their mid-fifties.
My dad gets $825 and mom gets $215 per mo from ss. The assisted living center they live in costs $3700 per mo. SS alone wouldn’t get it done. Income on dad’s farm picks up the rest. (thank uncle sugah for high corn prices due to ethanol subsidies) I’ve not been under the impression that ss would pay the freight for well over thirty years. How can others be so fucking clueless? My grandfather had a term for these type of people……he labeled them as being “willfully ignorant.
After extensive research I have concluded that today’s debutante has had some significant modifications done on her mammary glands.
If sohos shows up and says hers are bigger, she better bring some pics.
“Taxpayers shouldn’t have to either, Car in.”
I took care of my dad. My mom is on my sis.
But Hotspur is correct – my mother paid into ss all her life.
The only way I see to solve this is to lynch the politicians.
I also saved someone some money by not putting him in an assisted living place.
Thems is some knockers right there.
Hi Cyn!!!
Speaking of tits…
Speaking of tits, how’s your mom?
How can others be so fucking clueless?
They don’t care. They expect government (others) to take care of them. As one told me, ‘It’s society’s job to take care of it’s people.’ No matter the work ethic of said people.
If either set of parents went destitute, I’d take them in.
But since I’m not talking to the one set, my sisters are pissed because that means it will fall on them. Neither one of them is doing a good job planning for their own retirement. As in, not at all.
As one told me, ‘It’s society’s job to take care of it’s people.’
it would be difficult for me in that case to not immedieately inquire of them as to whether or not they considered themselves to be a member of this omnicient society. When they confirmed that they were it would then be difficult for me to not unzip my trousers and inform them that I needed some care and its society’s job.
Wow – TITS was almost one year ago now. Stoopid time flying crap.
How is your job going MJ?
Please round to the nearest 100 as to the number of times already you have had to visit your HR department for questionable comments, jokes, innuendos, web searches, and downright offensive crayon drawings.
I was referring to your tits.
But sure, yeah. Time flies.
*waggles felty unibrow
Oh.
oooOOOOoooo
*adjusts the girls and sniffs armpits
*sniffs the girls*
You’re good.
I thought Mike Hunt won the debate.
I don’t know what I’m saying.
It would be awesome to have a candidate by that name, just so we could have footage of Megyn Kelly saying, “This question is for Mike Hunt.”
Mine are bigger
Laura plays well with others.
How is your job going MJ?
———————–
Meh. I’ve been to HR 4599 times 4598 of those visits pertained to the use of the word “fudgicle.”
Calm down, Mare.
https://www.gifyoutube.com/gif/vq78BZ
Nice motorcycle, Mare.
https://www.gifyoutube.com/gif/mPA2wE
who wants to work for me tonight?
ME!
MJ: What’ll you have, sir?
Sir: A pina colada.
MJ: One beer coming right up.
MJ: And for you, miss?
Miss: I’ll have a pina colada.
MJ: Excellent choice but the blender is broken. Can I get you something instead, perhaps something that will disguise the taste of the roofie I’m going to put in your drink?
Tequila perhaps?
mmm, tequila smoothie
Silly bartender – chicks don’t need a roofie when Tequila is on board.
I heard.
Watched the debate this morning while pretending to work.
I think Trump saying that he won’t pledge to support the GOP nominee is totally fine.
I wouldn’t promise to do anything with those dickbags.
*hangs MJ’s pretty colored TPS report cover sheet on the fridge*
TPS…Tranny Penile Survey?
This really was damn funny of Trump.
https://slimgur.com/images/2015/08/07/ee6f0746670f718a86186226d47546ad.png
He’s got balls.
I like balls.
His balls are perfectly coiffed. Also, gold plated.
Trump is nuts. He must really like power.
We already have a Narcissist in Chief. Do we really need another?
I can’t decide if Trump is putting on a show or if he actually wants to take office.
At this point, I’m ready to let him take a spin in The Chair. He’s got the smarts to get the right people in to do the right jobs.
I mean, c’mon: can he fuck up this country, our relations, and our status any worse? I think nay.
*throws back a shot of Tequila and dons Mardi Gras beads
One TSA agent was funny. He was exhorting passengers to check all their pockets, especially those they don’t use often. As he was talking, he reached in his pocket and to his utter surprise, found a stuffed toy dog. His other pocket yielded a rubber crab, and a third pocket had Spongebob hiding in there.
I would rather have a Walker or Rubio, but after 8 years of this doofus I’ll vote for just about anyone.
Safe travels and a wonderful visit, Tushar
>>but after 8 years of this doofus I’ll vote for just about anyone.
Simpatico
*shares my beads with Scott
That sounds a little dirty.
“beads”
http://is.gd/MuJD0L
Good day, swingers and voters.
H2 Opinion Poll: The ratings were historic. Why do you think so many people tuned in to the GOP debates last night?
Is it really all Trump’s star power/ trainwreck rubbernecking?
Lauraw, combination of people not knowing the candidates and the circus atmosphere Trump brings along. IMHO Smart of FOX to have people in the undercard that there was interest in seeing/hearing.
Koch Bros. shock troops broke into homes all over the country and forced people to watch at gunpoint.
My take is a combination of the Trump train wreck and people’s eagerness to move on from obama
…and the cold barrel of a gun
I’m all for Biden.
Cuz fuck it.
I missed the chicken report.
I’m all for Biden.
Cuz fuck it.
Biden likes the way you think, MJ.
http://is.gd/gKGqCi
Democrats I work with watched because they were interested in what Trump had to say. We have a HUGE criminal illegal problem and Trump is the only one talking about it. (Breakroom chatter)
It was really good. I was surprised when I took it out after about 3 hours that the breast portion was perfectly done but the legs which were lower in the barrel were still a little undercooked to my liking. I used some rub from Sam’s called Pork Barrel BBQ All American Seasoning which was good. It was good as leftovers tonight too.
Plus all the people who are sick of Hillary and looking for someone else.
I went to a local brewery today. They brew a jalapeño hefeweissen is fucking outstanding.
*which is*
Eat a bag.
Gotta love a dating profile that starts with “Currently pregnant.”
I think she works with Oso. Or Car in.
Jalapeño Hefe? Sounds interesting.
CoAlex, this years crop of unmarried preggos are back at work. 2 boys; 1 girl. Sam’s Club employees skew older so fewer babies than Target.
It is a refreshing summer wheat ale with a jalapeño kick. I have a new favorite beer.
Today’s retail moment: Woman went on a racist rant to Dan. She wants us to carry a specific item and Dan told her how to fill out an item request form. That’s when she lost it. Sick of everyone catering to GD Mexicans and Indians. I didn’t know yogurt was for white people only. Tax Free School Holiday wknd. Only 1 shit on the Club floor. Winning
Jew, local only?
Yes. At the Cheyenne Brewing Company.
Road trip!!!! (I wish)
CoAlex, this years crop of unmarried preggos are back at work. 2 boys; 1 girl. Sam’s Club employees skew older so fewer babies than Target.
You had two boys get pregnant?!
Haha unmarrieds had 2 boys. Target used to have baby showers for the unweds. Sam’s doesn’t.
Ann has 3 kids. She and baby-daddy are talking about getting married in Ruidoso. Her sister has 4 kids. Just got married. 9 bridesmaids!!!!
Ann is nice, but a destination wedding AFTER 3 kids?
Everyone knows you have the destination wedding after the first bastard child.
Ann is nice, but a destination wedding AFTER 3 kids?
There will be such a scandal in the Society Pages!
AUGH!!!!
I wonder if I have any bastard children no one’s told me about.
Seems unlikely, what with me being fabulously middle class and all.
Upper class = bastard children
Middle class = bourgeois morality
Underclass = rutting like minks
I would totes host a meat face here, but it takes some planning. We have to plan on July or August.
I denounce myself for the above, by the by.
When Dan was managing a Payless Shoe store, Ann’s sister worked for him. Her first job. No kids. Notoriety at that point was because of their brother. Their dad was LEO. Brother was part of a gang that killed 2 gangbangers and locked them in a cabin with their 2 kids. Kids starved to death. 1 gangbanger pled. 3 others decided to go to trial. Their brother was the first trial. Jury wouldn’t convict. Tried again. Same result. DA didn’t bother trying the other 2. Guy who pled was pissed!!! Started agitating for trial. Shot down. As in no trial or vacating plea. Being Messican means scary familia.
I spent a week in and around Cody Wyoming. I was blown away by how nice people were.
If Wyoming didn’t have winter I would probably move there.
Places with winter tend to be nicer.
When there’s the possibility of 1) being stuck in close proximity to a person for months on end, and 2) they won’t find your body until Spring, people tend to be nice.
You shouldn’t, Sean. It’s true. When healthy young people have lots of time on their hands to simply exist and they do not work, they mostly do not engage in the productive activities that contribute to society or civilization.
They hang out doing nothing, they fight, play games, get into trouble, and fuck.
Some overlapping there.
I disagree. Southerners are way nicer than we are.
The rich and the poor are both protected to some degree from the consequences of their bad choices.
L to R: “Just a friend”, Tushar
http://is.gd/VYUqtO
Wyoming is really nice. Nicer than CO. I can barely handle NM Summer. No way I could handle WY Winter.
I forced a book audit today. I H8 thieves. Fucking H8 them. $764 in just one month. Asshole Native in Produce: Books should be free. Knowledge should be free. Why do people have to pay for books?
They hang out doing nothing, they fight, play games, get into trouble, and fuck.
You’ll never watch your life slide out of view,
And dance and drink and screw,
Because there’s nothing else to do.
Nice Showstoppers!
I’d go with the they are Naturals.
Who cares.
Everybody wins!
Because pages, bindings, and printer ink don’t grow on trees. And writers like to eat too.
The ink doesn’t grow on trees.
Netflix has added more shows from Telemundo.
I will be fluent in soap opera messican in no time.
He’s AZ Navajo. They have more sand in the vagina than NM Navajos. He is the laziest Native I’ve ever worked with. Most Natives work and suddenly stop showing up for work. Not lazy, but drunk.
My visitor is on her way home.
Our final thing was to go to a gun store with a firing range. I rented a Kriss Vector 45 sub gun. It was fun, and OMFG was it expensive to feed. $20 every other second, really puts a hurt on the wallet. 2 round bursts otoh take slightly longer to blow $20. 10 seconds maybe?
I always get pissed off when I hear people bitch at the gas station how it costs money to use the compressor to put air in their tires.
“Air is free!”
You stupid bastard. Okay, take a deep breath, pucker your lips, and blow up your tires, then, with all that free air around us.
lauraw, we used to have “Free Air” at gas stations. Now, like car washes. Put your quarters in. OMG!!! This is BS!!! Eleventy!!!
My nurse friend who worked in ABQ told me stories about drunk indians found on the side of the road in the winter.
They called them popsicles.
35 psi with a straw is hard Laura
Sam’s Club doesn’t have window wash stations. Fund raising for Children’s Miracle Network? Why yes, let me clean your windows. Campaign ended in June. No window wash for you!
Jimbro, there’s a reason we lead the nation in RR pedestrian fatalities. Reason=Drunk Indians
RL friend did ride-alongs with APD. Journalism Major. The protocol was to just lift Natives out of traffic and let them sleep it off on medians. No point in running them in.
I spent some time on the Res Oso.
My biggest take away was I could see stars on the horizon there. No place I have ever been I have seen stars on the horizon.
60 miles into the GoM? Nada, maybe 15 degrees up. 120 miles into the Caribbean? Nope. 200 miles in the Atlantic? Nope.
4 corners of the Navaho Nation? You bet, that freaking cactus is blocking my view.
35 psi with a straw is hard Laura
Maybe try a cocktail straw, and a running start?
Vman, star-watching in NM res or not is awesome. I bet Pepe has awesome views. No light pollution. I just wish they’d poop in the toilets provided.
Did anybody stumble across old medical records indicating that anybody else was born with a tail today?
I also shot a 9 mm Glock 43. Meh 8″ groups at 5 yards.
A HK USP 9mm shot 6″ groups at 7 yards.
A Sig 226 I shot 4″ groups at 10 yards.
All 3 for $21 an hour plus ammunition. The Kriss was slightly more plus ammunition at a horrendous rate.
I am out.
Vestigial tails are a scam
Dan was playing me. He just wanted to Trump me up. He still hasn’t decided. He liked Carly. Noticed that Susana is losing weight.
http://tinyurl.com/njm9wgo
belle Tire has “free air”. I don’t mind paying a quarter or two but a gas station around here charges a buck.
“I would rather have a Walker or Rubio, but after 8 years of this doofus I’ll vote for just about anyone.”
This. But I’d rather not for for just about anyone.
So … I like yogurt because of my white privilege?
*debriefs
Work was ok. busy. So I did well. Now just two morning doubles. fml.
The typo-foo is strong tonight.
I’m going to blame my computer.
I have a Sears compressor in the garage.
Costs me nothing.
Fills the Kubota tires, the Lesbaru tires, the Ranger tires, the Ducati tires, the Yamaha tires…
Car in, it is specific yogurt. As long as you don’t shit in the Club or throw TP on the floor, we cool.
Ricoh is trying to be an adult. Baby on the way. We are fucking with him. He is working it. He wants to adopt Dan and I. His life totally sucks. He has no idea how RL works. Diego is close. Lost both parents to drugs. He is a nice guy. Avoided drugs and gangs. He loves Dan. Dan is a light of hope. Dan is the light of hope to all these fatherless gang banging peeps. It is weird. Father figure
Check and check Oso.
I have a compressor in my garage too – but the one at Belle TIre is mucho cooler.
FREE AIR.
Says right on the sign.
True Story. My Uncle has been AUSA for 30 years. Baby born alive has been fed law for years. My Uncle didn’t even know about BBA until I told him about it.
*debriefs
Oh
My cousin invited me to his next fundraiser. Guest speaker is a bitch I H8. Should I go and challenge? Ignore and PM the Cunt?
I know it’s your schtick Cyn. But after wearing the monkey suit I’m required … it’s … NECESSARY.
oh. gawd. is it necessary.
so. We gonna plan a meet up? Obummer’s going on vacations left and right. I could use a weekend.
Ignore.
Sweet! LIV Dan is getting pissed
Yes
’bout what?
We should.
Contact me tomorrow when sober. Having serious issues with sobriety, Other stuff.
WY has lots to recommend it. I bet we could rent out an entire lodge.
I could use a weekend.
Weekends are for closers.
nighty night.
Cyn, it’s up to you and me. Let’s just pick a place
Vegas, baby.
Oso, so Dan is falling with daddy issues from both men and women?
A meat up in Vegas I could attend.
Now that I know what I feel must be right,
I’m here to show everybody the light.
Give the derp a chance to say,
That the derp is just the way.
The most in-demand thing at airports? Power outlets where you can charge your phones
Tushard, there are outlets by each payphone.
I am in for a meat up. If in Vegas please not while it is 140. Wyoming sounds good to me. Or Missoula, or, …well anyplace that is not 400,000 degrees out.