Something Something Your Mom


  1. Don’t make me live in a world without puns.

    Right oso?

  2. I was just about to whip one of these out – Thanks for the poatsey, Jimbro!

    Also, it’s National Root Beer Float Day and she’s probably opening a root beer. Probably.

  3. i put this on facedouche, but mare couldn’t enjoy it.

    My wife said I was immature.

    I told her to get out of my fort.

  4. Fort Kickass

  5. Heh, have you been talking to Russ?

  6. I had Jay (puns) and Cyn (Labrathor) in mind as I threw this together!

  7. I heard about the Texas voter ID law getting shut down yesterday and thought it was just so predictable:

    It seems every time a voter ID law gets passed it ultimately gets shot down because minority (i.e.: black people) voters can’t seem to find ID’s. Even though the proponents of the law point out the myriad opportunities to obtain ID their words fall on deaf ears. The other predictable reaction by the lefties is the claim that there is no inappropriate voting going on.

    One solution is to go at the problem the other way. Start filing lawsuits on behalf of the “minority victims who can’t get ID’s”. Win-win-win, become an advocate for minorities which will be a PR victory, maybe pick up more minority voters (not holding my breath) and clog the courts with this bullshit so they have less time to devote to their lawfare. I don’t know, probably a dumb idea, I guess I’m just tired of the same old losses over and over.

  8. Stop making me laugh…

  9. In PA, they offered to give the licenses away for free, and provide transportation to the office to get them. Wasn’t good enough.

    That’s because that’s not what the votor ID law protest is about. But like most liberal things, they can’t actually say what it is, because that’s wrong, and we must go on fooling people.

  10. On a happy note I bought two chickens at Sam’s this morning and cut them in half, seasoned them with some rub and they’re going in the PBC this afternoon!

  11. I was gonna tell…

  12. Chickens are delicious on the PBC, especially cooked with pork products. Both kinds of smoke mix together.

  13. My stupid dogs went after the old charcoal covered, presumably, with pork rib grease and ate a few while I was distracted.

  14. Paula and I ditched the kids at home this morning and went out for breakfast then Sam’s. I was eying the pork ribs there after I put the chickens in my cart. Didn’t pick any up today. The bill was hefty enough because we haven’t gone there in a while and we started stocking up for back to school.

  15. Dogs Eating Charcoal would be a good band name.

  16. I bet the after party is gonna be rough. Glad I’m working tomorrow.

  17. Jay, what the fuck does that link have to do with cooking chickens?

  18. I was just about to whip one of these out – Thanks for the poatsey, Jimbro!

    Damn you Jimbro!

    Cyn, feel free to whip those out anytime.

  19. MJ’s having chinese today

  20. Jay, what the fuck does that link have to do with cooking chicken?

    Not a damn thing, but it calls back a comment Laura made yesterday.

  21. Because PBC is a cult, Hotspur.

  22. Haven’t you noticed?

    One guy gets a PBC, then he becomes like a salesman for it, to the point where another guy gets one, then they both keep talking about their perfect delicious carefree smoked meats, and then my husband gets that twitchy look again.

  23. CULT. And probably also a scam.

  24. Hahahahaha

  25. The Jehova’s Witnesses should open a crossfit studio and PBC store.

  26. On a happy note I bought two chickens at Sam’s this morning and cut them in half…

    *lowers chin and whispers, “Spatchcocker”*

  27. Ribs were on markdown at Ralph’s so the crockpot is getting a workout today.

  28. PBC Witnesses “Do you have a minute to talk about barbecue?”

  29. Crockpot!!! Blasphemy!!!

  30. HOA rules here are… asinine
    and draconian.

  31. I prefer my charcoal powered crockpot in a barrel.

  32. I’m surprised they let me have a smoker or three.

  33. “Spatchcocker”

    Technically, that’s flattening, not cutting in half


  34. I am not a Donald Trump fan, but Bush calling him a clown, buffoon, and asshole is just a we bit ironic, dontcha think?

  35. Remember that time we all had to vote for McCain?

  36. I didn’t vote for McCain. I voted against the guy without a negro dialect.

  37. Since Reagan, we’ve had Bush (dickface asshole), Dole (dickface asshole), Bush (dickface asshole), McCain (dickface asshole), and Romney (dickface asshole). Did I leave out any dickface assholes?

  38. The thing about the TX voter ID being struck down that pisses me off is that the Supreme Court has ruled Voter ID is legit, BUT that VRA of 1965 puts restrictions on certain formerly racist (run by Democrats) states, that don’t apply to the rest of the union.

    So in effect, the southern states operate under a different constitution.

  39. Black guy in Mississippi won the (d) primary for Governor without campaigning, spending money, or even telling his family.

    He trounced the experienced white lady who campaigned.

  40. BBF material:

    Never heard of her but she could become famous by appearing here.

  41. That Mississippi story makes me think of this from a while ago:

  42. Meriden Ct elected a white republican for mayor because his name is Santos.

    They were pissed off when they learned “they were tricked”.

  43. *changes name to Shahkneequaah Maria Washington Rodriguez; runs for office and wins, files for welfare and wins*

  44. You guys see this?

    If the church ever decides (rightly) that what the State calls “marriage” isn’t required for the sacrament, I’m cashing in.

  45. we’re in Atlanta. yay.

  46. 5 hour layover.


  47. At least you’re in Atlanta, where you can, um, ok…

  48. I’ve been in that airport on the layover coming back from Paris.

    We had lunch at Chilis.

  49. I had the best etouffe at the New Orleans airport. And cheap.

    Probably cooked it on a PBC.

  50. My chickens are smelling pretty good. Probably need another half hour.

  51. Sell another one, Jay?

  52. All I remember about that airport is running with luggage.

    Each and every time……

    – land at gate 3
    – connecting flight leaves gate 974 in 12 minutes.

  53. At least it wasn’t gate 975.

  54. Atlanta isn’t even on my list of least favorite airports.

  55. Is this the place grown men can play openly with their PBC. make puns that kids in 5th grade would punch them in the face for, get gardening tips, learn grammar and see boobs on women so dumb that they make the Hotspur’s dickface assholes look smart?

    Good, I like it.

  56. *Puts tinfoil hat on* Watching Undercard debate. Jindal is taking it to TFG. Cablebox starts to spontaneously reboot. Same fucking thing happened during Susana’s RNC speech. Dan got home from work during the debate. By the closing statement, he was listening to Carly. Dan is the Lowest Info Voter in the history of sports watching LIVs. *Throws flag at own hyperbole. Dan has been exposed to info from my rants so I guess he is no longer the LOWEST LiV

  57. Mare, you forgot to mention the constant t workout jabber and livestock reports.

  58. Evening.

  59. Tomorrow my pet culls Scritch and Itch are going on a truck ride.

  60. Are they going to live on the farm with Grandma and Grampa?

  61. O M G Jew. Do they get a “Best day ever” sendoff?

  62. Yes, Xbrad. And there will be heaps and heaps of other horrid beasts to screech at and bite viciously.

  63. Good thing Idaho feds decided secret videotaping was totes cool at animal processing plants.

  64. I had a friend who was given two orphan river piglets about 25 years ago. Back when I lived near a real river. He named them breakfast and dinner so that his young sons didn’t arrive at any misconceptions as to their eventual fate.

  65. I gave them a great deal of scratchings today and a hug. I won’t be there tomorrow.

  66. Jew has a bigger heart and more morals than the bitch ghouls at PP. Give him a Lambo!!!!

  67. If pigs weren’t delicious, there wouldn’t be any.

  68. Pigs are my favorite.

  69. If I get Oso for Secret Satan I am totally sending a Meishans piggie.

  70. I don’t get to do Secret Satan because Dan is cray cray and a tad bit controlling.

  71. Then, if I get Dan for Secret Satan I will send him a piggie, but it’s not really his.

  72. I love the piggehs. Beasn needs a piggeh.

  73. Did anybody’s decision to attack anybody else’s position on a trade pact with Paraguay fail to resonate with undecided voters today?

  74. No, but I was laughing at pics from Venezuela.

  75. This is shocking.

    No, really, I’m stunned.


  76. I don’t get to do Secret Satan because Dan is cray cray and a tad bit controlling.

    What did he do with the box o’ books I sent?

  77. FUCK! Leading story on 3 local networks is hot playground equipment. Kill me nao!!! Using gun emoji before I lose it.

  78. I was able to read them. He wants to recycle them. They are in the garage with 1000 other books.

  79. I should recycle the ones I have here. There was a reason they were 10 cents each.

  80. The GOP debate is about to start and DAMMIT-IT-ALL!! I will miss it as I was already scheduled to:

    1. Wash my hair
    B. Visit the local Hobo Shelter and give free pedicures
    Ç. Express my neighbor’s ex-wife’s best-friend’s dog’s anal glands
    8==D. Write out donation checks to our beloved treasury dept
    z.♠. Degrease and wax Ms. Laura’s Glorious Hump


  81. I watched the Undercard. I’m making Dan watch the Main Event.

  82. Border town news. Maria is 11K in to becoming a citizen. She H8s Illegals. She REALLY H8S natives. Ready for the Main Event!

  83. Rand Paul sure sounds like dear old dad, don’t he?

    Should we not mention his name?

  84. Cyn said anal.

  85. LIV Dan h8s illegals

  86. I’m glad that was in a different bullet point than mine

  87. Jeb doesn’t hate illegals. He hates Trump, though.

  88. Barack was so bad that it just doesn’t matter, anybody would be great improvement.

  89. Dan dropped mic and went to some Breastarant competition. He loves Trump

  90. I’m old enough to be president, and at least as qualified as Ben Carson or Lindsey Graham.

  91. LIV is liking Carly, Cruz, and Trump. YMMV

  92. Carly impresses me every time I hear her speak.

  93. She didn’t get to be a CEO by being a moron.

  94. Dan is being all MST3K on the debate

  95. We really need Gwen Ifill and George Snuffleufagas to ask questions.

  96. Trump is a smart ass. That I like.

  97. Dan just told me to dial back his Trump/Fiorina love on FB.

  98. Dan’s on FB?

    He’s gay.

  99. OMG Dan is loving Trump

  100. Scott, THANK YOU. He has the fewest friends EVER

  101. I am liking everyone. Compared to Obama, they are all awesome.

  102. To be honest, the field makes me happy. For the most part, they seem prepared and serious.

  103. FU Wiserbud!!! Fuckerbee just used decimated

  104. Dan’s only hanging out at the gay bars for the wings.

  105. My personal LIV is spouting off. He’s worse than me. He is ranting about the Angels now. Pretty close to SoCal thought

  106. Scott, that pisses me off too. I get $$ eat at home BS to keep me from dining out

  107. I am really pissed at Dan right now. TMI stuff

  108. FYI Liv Dan likes Trump and Fiorina. YMMV

  109. My sons are watching the debate and Googleman commented that he was watching because he wanted to be an informed voter when he goes to the booth next year.

    *wipes a proud tear*

  110. That little boy will NOT be old enough to vote! He’s just a baby!

  111. I Know! Make it Stop!

  112. Uh oh… seeing them all on stage and Jeb! seems to be the tallest of the group. Tallest always wins.

  113. O M G did you warn him about McLame?

  114. Perry had the wide stance

  115. Yes, I’ve sat them both down to have the talk… about McCain.

  116. Brit Hume for president.

  117. I heard a rumor Flake is getting flakey on the Iran deal.

  118. He’s become a huge disappointment in many regards.

  119. He’s become a huge disappointment in many regards.

    Many of my ex gf’s said that.

  120. Please accept this rib courtesy of PBC Int.

    Would you care to join us for lunch? Or make a small donation? Submit a recipe?

  121. I left you far behind
    The ruins of the derp that you had in mind.
    And though you still can’t see,
    I know your mind’s made up,
    You’re gonna cause more misery.

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