Good afternoon, hostages. I’m having one of those weeks that is apparently full of *looks around for lauraw* Tuesdays. I’d like to chop off Endless Tuesday’s balls, peel off the skin, put them in the new food processor I got for Christmas, add olive oil, a touch of salt, some chick peas, tahini paste, and serve the Tuesday Teste Hummus to Wednesday for never showing up.
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Please listen to this song I wrote for Ghee. I wrote this song for my right hand.
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This week’s model is Hana Haruna. She hails from the land of the rising sun (Sweden) and is 23 years old. Yes, she can be blinded by dental floss, probably gets straight As, and giggles uncontrollably after every sentence. Also: this.
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Speaking of testes. Here’s one that is approved by all of the relevant government agencies. The Department of Fucking Off at Work. The Subcommittee for International Smut Trading. The Agency for Delurking Rich. Please click here to view the relevant permits.
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1502 – The present-day location of Rio de Janeiro is first explored.
1649 – Charles I of England goes on trial for treason and other “high crimes“.
1801 – John Marshall is appointed the Chief Justice of the United States.
1841 – Hong Kong Island is occupied by the British.
1885 – L.A. Thompson patents the roller coaster.
1920 – The American Civil Liberties Union is founded.
1934 – Fujifilm, the photographic and electronics company, is founded in Tokyo, Japan.
1981 – Twenty minutes after Ronald Reagan is inaugurated, at age 69 the oldest man ever to be inaugurated as U.S. President, Iran releases 52 American hostages.
1986 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is celebrated as a federal holiday for the first time.
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This weekend I’ll be attending an awesome party, but I can’t drink because I have to run 8 miles on Sunday. Booooooooo! What are you doing this weekend? Please tell us all about it in the comment section. Whatever you do, don’t click here. DO NOT CLICK!
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If you would like to see Hana in a NSFWish picture, you should click here! Where did I leave me towel?
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Nice poat, Huntsman.
If she had pink hair, she could be Kreiger’s holo-wife.
Good job, MJ!
http://is.gd/weCcQq
nice set of choppers she’s sporting there, but otherwise… not too bad.
I’d give MJ a solid B- on this one.
Not bad, but here’s something for pic # 3:
http://tinyurl.com/78448un
Ah, the B-. Sweet, sweet 80-83%.
Newt Gingrich = Ross?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEn9YvJ3Gfg
Internet cable… how does it fucking work?!?
Ohi bewbs other than my own!
nice set of choppers she’s sporting there
Bad teeth are a fashion statement in Japan. I’m not kidding.
I was way too tired to complete a day at work after a workout and a lunch of butter chicken, so I’m home early.
Not bad, but here’s something for pic # 3:
http://tinyurl.com/ygdt4en
Wow, she’s built.
And J’Ames, quite funny about Sithy.
*throws matching shoes*
I got home early today too. I kicked Friday’s ass to make it happen.
Internet cable… how does it fucking work?!?
It’s hollow and greased inside (sorta like Rosetta), and the bits slide quicker than through wire.
I won’t lie, Friday kicked my ass. Or… Friday’s workout kicked my ass. I planned Friday’s workout… I kicked my ass.
Imma go to the gym in a bit. Write some funny stuff here in case I get bored on the stepper machine.
I clicked the “Do Not Click”.
Damn you MJ. Damn you to helllll!
Workouts don’t ever kick my ass. I had a GREAT workout on wednesday and I was pumped for hours.
Long runs do that to me, but it’s a billion below zero so I don’t see me running for a bit. Tomorrow’s supposed to get up to 26, but if there’s snow, that’s out.
At least I gave you pretty faces.
PFF
Now I can di.. go to work happy! Great work MJ
Workouts don’t ever kick my ass.
I did 3 squat reps at 305 lb. I think the real problem was the big Indian lunch. Ate too much, got sleepy, kind of like Rosetta at a late night truck stop. With penises.
I suck at these jokes.
http://www.godvine.com/Police-Officer-Saves-a-Dog-Stuck-in-a-Fence-The-End-Will-Blow-You-Away-1052.html
At least I gave you pretty faces.
You sure did a beautiful PFF 🙂
Has anyone heard from BiW? Or was he drowned/flooded/snowed in?
BiW, has weather issues. Don’t know for sure, but he may be suffering from power outages. I guess where he lives is, for them, a really big winter mess right now.
Afternoon, hawt chicks and sofa kings!
I am definitely king of my sofa right now.
I had a great workout today! AND. . . 4 more chapters in the book I’m currently reading.
I wanna be a sofa queen.
Half way through clicking BBF links and I still have internet… keep your fingers crossed people!
No, u.
Damn you MJ. Damn you to helllll!
——————–
Set the trap with Mila Kunis, then WHAM!!!!!
Made it! Fun linkies, MJ. I miss Reagan.
MJ – Very slick.
*writes MJ’s name at the top of the “Indian Rope Burns list*
Set the trap with Mila Kunis, then WHAM!!!!!
Yeessss.
http://is.gd/n2YBNM
Hi Rich.
Step step step
Hey, Carin – How much snow are you guys getting? Do you have enough bread, milk and eggs to make French Toast for everyone?
We’re due 3-5″ here I think, but it’ll be mostly gone by Monday.
I get another 80 lb of beef tomorrow night, and I have 7 lb of freshly-cooked chili, so it can blizzard for all I care if the power stays on.
So what does all that Japanese writing actually mean, if anything?
Not sure what it means, but its the same thing I have tattooed across my back.
Haha. Ghee has “Big Boob Friday” tattooed across his back!
This is good
http://thedaleygator.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/video-sharia-law-and-order/
I thought it was, “Two California rolls with extra Wasabi.”
Some poor Indian kid just suffered the wrath of TiFW for calling at the wrong time about the wrong thing.
See, normally, I’m as sweet as Southern molasses when dealing with telemarketers (“We’re on a ‘Do Not Call’ list – please add our number to yours, or we will be taking legal action”),
Today, this kid just caught me at the wrong time, and ended up getting “John King-ed”.
Damn, but it felt good……
Ha Ha
Cyn I pasted it into a Japanese to English translator, this is what I got..
great idiot Friday
great idiot Friday
Sounds reasonable.
I can get internets from my neighbors but not at my house? WTFITS!
Thanks for the translation assistance guys.
I’m going with the Pats fo sho.
and I’m about 60-40 going with the niners.
I can’t believe football season is almost over….! *slits wiser’s wrists*
GAH! Finally back on my computer again.
Sometimes I really hate teh cox.
Football season never ends.
We just have a really long halftime show featuring
* yawns *
baseball.
GM, thanks for your vote on the Pats. I’m a fan and I’ve been waiting for their inevitable implosion all year. The years they actually won superbowls it was like that too.
baseball
What is this “baseball” of which you speak?
MJ: solid A work for big bewbs without the pannus (not penis—pannus)
I keep meaning to get some deadmau5, what one is their best effort?
I keep meaning to get some deadmau5, what one is their best effort?
———————————
Random Album Title is my favorite.
Random Album Title is my favorite
– – – – – –
amazon thanks me for my 1-click purchase
Random Album Title is my favorite.
Agreed.
Let me know what you think, Jimbro.
I hope you made your Amazon purchase using our little doohickey up there. It will help fund the booze/food at our next meat up that you’ll need to attend Jimbro.
Unless Andy drained through it all on New Year’s Eve.
You rang?
I bought a copier last week and used the doohickey.
How much we got in the kitty, Andy? Are we up to three cocktails or five beers yet?
How much money is in our doohickey? Round to the nearest cox.
Oh, and that was eerie, by the way.
Sad news Cyn, I opened a new window for the purchase. Now I know the “right” way to conduct business though.
I’m about the last guy I know buying physical CDs. I add them to my iTunes and sell them back to the local store for credit or just give them away to the techs at work
Jimbro, iffen you’re wondering which Tool album to get I’m here for you.
And now Hotspur copying me is eerie.
Operators are standing by.
You get one out on this, Jimbro, but it will cost you. Big time.
I hope that the operator is not Carin.
I have that Tool album that has the glasses built into the cover. Those images are trippy and the music was good too (haven’t listened to it in ages)
Did you all see this?
http://www.metro.us/newyork/National/article/1076353–utah-high-school-s-cougar-mascot-deemed-offensive-to-women
I heard about that earlier today on Fox, Scott. Stupid, stupid, PC crap.
$196.24
Including Scott’s copier.
Damn. The first 15 minutes of us at a bar at the next meat up is covered!
What type of work does Jimbro do?
What are they going to do about BYU then?
Wow! That adds up fast.
The doohickey must be a big help to Ace.
Good job Andy.
VMax : I’m a physician, I’ll hold back on more details….Maine is a small place
*Drives to Maine for a “prescription”*
I’m not *that* kind of doctor!
Awwww. Meat up in Maine is a bust before it even began.
*Drives to Maine for breast enlargement
Physician? We needed one of those.
What’s left? Game show host?
The diversity here is mind blowing.
Drives to Maine for breast enlargement
– – – – –
both?
I wish I was that kind of doc!
Carin, you’d better not change a thing. You are perfect the way you are!!
Unless of course it’s what YOU want to do, then I’m behind you 100%.
shut up Cyn! Don’t interfere with this, its what we want!
I mean, its what Car in wants.
Will someone kindly go pick up my boys from school so I can start cocktailing now? Thank you nice person.
Carin should buy her iPad with the doohickey.
tip of the hat, MJ. I just now realized the work you put into this poat on my behalf. I genuflect at your… effort!
It’s a blizzard.
Breakfast for dinner tonight
Eggs, bacon, pancakes
My woman loves me (or so she claims)
It’s really hard to breathe weaponized habanero pepper aerosol.
In case you were wondering.
*Drives to Maine for rehash of Jimbro’s thesis*
Pictures Carin!
The copier I purchased was $200 at Staples, or $213 after sales tax.
Doohickey price? $150 including shipping.
In Michigan we have to pay sales tax on our out of state online purchases. They call it Use Tax.
They don’t even use lube.
Could I buy my new breasts with the doohicky?
Yes. I’ll deliver them.
I wish I was that kind of doc!
HAHAHA!! When hubby did a plastic surgery rotation, he was all excited. The following month after it was over, he told me never again 😀
*Grabs Jimbro by the shoulder-spills his cocktail*
HEY! DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED TO YOU?
Hotspur, how do they know?
We are still on the honor system.
So did Jew get pepper sprayed today?
They audited us.
Or did he just get fresh with the wrong guy?
You are not generally a lucky person are you Hotspur?
What happened to Jew? Did he become an Occupier?
Sometimes I wonder.
I’m making jambalaya for supper. I didn’t lean away from the pan when I threw the peppers into the hot oil.
I was audited by the IRS once. The state only audits medium to large businesses unless you take a lot of chances.
He left this comment
http://tinyurl.com/7xz5mfh
At 6:21
I think I’ll survive though. I’m not coughing enough to slobber anymore.
We had a zero adjustment IRS audit three years ago. We are squeaky clean.
But the state tax thing was ignorance on our part. We didn’t know the rules. We buy loads of materials out of state.
We got nailed for over $12,000 over a three year cycle.
Now the pricks audit us every other year.
Jimbro is a doctor?
*pulls tarp off mighty hump*
Listen; it’s a parasitic twin, every doctor says you can’t remove him without killing me. That’s fine.
But…could you remove the little glob of distorted male genitalia? It’s just not, “me,” yannow?
Plus my husband is tired of washing it for me.
Jambalaya! Jewstin has an interesting diet. I make fun of some of it, but it sounds far from boring.
I bet the last pb&j sandwich he ate came out of a lunchbox.
Did anyone else drive over multiple downed powerlines today?
What does he do with it after he washes it, Laura?
Maybe Jimbo should just circumcise it? That way Scott wouldn’t have to wash it as much.
Hahahahaha
What does he do with it after he washes it, Laura?
DO NOT WANT TO KNOW
Spam bucket fail.
What does he do with it after he washes it, Laura?
Nothing, he just goes off to a quiet room and cries softly for a little while.
I get jealous sometimes too.
I didn’t BisW. Hope you guys are ok, and staying warm!
I was wondering if you were ok BiW
Who cares about a little electricity?
BiW, you’re from Michigan. Put on your manties.
Spur, I didn’t KNOW I was driving over them until I WAS driving over them.
We just get out of the car and move them out of the way.
It’s the safe thing to do.
It was raining. I didn’t want to get wet.
BiW, have you never watched Saturday morning cartoons? You’re supposed to AVOID downed power lines.
The man in the commercial break said so.
Spur, I didn’t KNOW I was driving over them until I WAS driving over them.
You got rubber tires, right?
chill….
Don’t use your hands though, play it safe and use a golf club or tire iron.
My mother hit me with a downed power line once. Once.
/D. Vermin
Hahahahaha
When I was a kid they warned us not to touch blasting caps. Report them to your parents or the police.
Hotspur – I remember those blasting cap PSAs!
That’s cuz you ‘n me are old.
Why do I keep going to Spam?
Fucking SOPA.
Spectacles,
Testicles,
Wallet,
And Watch.
Laura,I’d never take away your hump, your hump, your lovely *lady* hump…well, maybe for the right price, in silver dimes!
Happens to me all the time Spur. I usually cuss about wordpress and askmet.
That has not helped much.
Reno is F’d up with fire.
Is Sklia OK?
Why do I keep going to Spam?
Have you been rubbing up on Vmax?
I bought him a drink once.
Insert a Y up above.
I bought him drink once.
and then what happened?
Hotspur, you called MCPO old.
That’s how it works.
Get used to the spam bucket.
HS, you should probably go with SOPA on a ROPA around here. Just sayin’.
Heh.
Cue wiserbud
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/325889.php
Skylia is probably okay, but she’s mad about working retail.
Cue wiserbud
already on it!
Clue Wiserbud
Fixt
That doesn’t count as a cover.
Unless of course you have no standards.
Who’s buying whom a drink?
OMG!
*smooches piggies in the header*
*makes it a piggie smoothie*
*dresses piggie in bonnet and bow*
Whom is an ass.
Beasn! I had to crop the hell out of that. Here
Whom’s on first?
Michigan at Notre Dame.
Here we go.
Get in the box, asshole.
That’s some pig Scott
Crunchy.
Bacon, pork, ham…..yes, it’s a magical animal.
The Pogues “If I should fall from grace from God” is now being used as the song for the Subaru Forester
sniff sniff
Lesbians need cars.
Very cute pig. Good job scott!
http://tinyurl.com/7t4h9f3
Pigs are teh smart, teh cute, and teh tasty.
I think my daughter misses me. She poated pigs on my chimp wall.
Ha
So true
Sensible cars
speaking of pigs, I better make mine their salads.
brb
I made taco soup from the recipe Vmax posted a while ago. Yum.
Also, Obama is a SCOAMF.
I remember my ex’s family up North had a gigantic hog in a pen in their yard when we went to visit one time.
Ex was like, ‘watch this, they love being scratched,’ and he leaned over the fence and started scratching this beast’s neck and back, really grinding with his whole hands and fingernails.
It loved it. Pig was leaning hard against the pen fence like to almost break it, and grunting deeply with obvious pleasure. Hilarious.
At the same time, I was kind of scared because I know they’ll turn around and snap your fucking hand off like nothing.
Speaking of cars Barrett Jackson is on Speed and a 2012 Foose Challenger SRT just sold for $115k
Did anybody hear the lamentations of anybody else’s women today?
Jes. I heard da lam-n-tations.
Thanks for not picking up my boys for me at school; I had to do it myself.
*sniffs indignantly*
I heard the lamentation of my woman over my decision to stop for a cigar last night.
La Flor Dominica Airbender, good one to get
I thought it was good Romy
You could have attended that here this weekend, Vman. I even have a couch you coulda crashed on.
Vmax, everyone here had seconds, so that was a definite win. The corn isn’t low-carb, but I think as a whole, it works for the diet I’m on.
And there’s the Rick-roll link. My Friday is complete.
Thanks for not picking up my boys for me at school; I had to do it myself.
We tried! But they wouldn’t turn your kids over to a dozen drunk Morons in a giant van with no windows.
Pussies.
Cyn, you should write an angry letter.
Oh you can damn well bet it’s gonna be a very, very sternly worded letter. Very.
From the “NEW” thread:
Hi, Snausages!
We live! Without power for three-days. We got a foot of snow, followed by an ice-storm. Ice-storm broke Chestnuts, Aspens, Oak, and dropped a Locust across the driveway. We got some of that cut so I could get out to the road to get some gas for the generator. Without the generator, we have no well = no water = no flush IYKWIMAITYD…
We’ve been melting snow to pour into the toilet-tank. Heating some on the stove to wash-up and make coffee.
The gas-station looked like the ’70s! Six – eight cars waiting for each row of pumps. Everybody filling cans for chainsaws and generators.
It was to the point that we would get the gen-set running, put all the food from the freezer-fridge out in the snow, or throw it away. We chose to get the generator running.
Allegedly 245,000 of us without power and will be through the weekend.
The Tacoma Narrows bridges are closed due to ice falling from the suspension-cables.
Anita is posting pictures of the wreckage on her FaceChimpDouche page, for those of you that indulge in that kind of thing.
A friend that lives on Kapowsin Airport had to chain-saw his way to the road, got almost to the highway and got blocked by a tree. He got out to see what it would take to clear it, heard a loud CRACK, and turned to see another tree fall across his van. It’s drivable, but totaled.
Hope you are all warm, dry, full, and comfortable!
And so it goes…
Why thank you Cyn
My dad had a 55 Kaiser when he was dating my mom. If it was anything like the 54 that just sold for $110k I need to ask my mom why she made him get rid of it.
Stay safe crispy.
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