Hello and welcome to a very special Christmas Eve edition of Big Boob Friday. How awesome is that? Big boobs, Friday AND Christmas Eve! BEST DAY EVER!!!
Here is Floyd in his red argyle Christmas sweater. Handsome.
This is probably my favorite Christmas song. If listening to this doesn’t make you feel good, you’re an asshole. Only once every two or three decades does a contemporary artist create a Christmas classic but this is surely one. I didn’t know this until a couple of days ago that she actually wrote this herself. Nicely done, Mariah.
Since it’s Christmas and Erica Campbell is officially the most beautiful BBF hoochiemomma of all time (my sweetheart sohita excepted of course), you get these for Christmas:
Erica Campbell, I would like to elf you. All night long.
Here is a list of very interesting things that happened on Christmas Eve…
* in 1476, 400 Burgundy soldiers froze to death during the siege of Nancy.
* in 1715, Swedish troops occupied Norway; sissy slapfight ensues.
* in 1809, Christopher “Kit” Carson, Union Brigadier-General and Indian fighter was born.
* in 1818, “Silent Night” was composed by Franz Joseph Gruber and sung for the first time the following day.
* in 1865, several Tea Partiers Democrats formed the Ku Klux Klan in Pulaski, Tennessee.
* in 1905, reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes was born.
* in 1922, hottie Ava Gardner was born in the hilariously named Grabtown, North Carolina.
* in 1945, Motörhead frontman and living rock legend Lemmy Kilmister was born.
* in 1964, shooting began on “The Cage“, the pilot for Star Trek.
* in 1971, Ricky Martin was born in Puerto Rico.
* in 1972, muscle man Charles Atlas (Angelo Siciliano) died at the age of 79.
* in 1990, Saddam Barack Hussein said Israel would be Iraq’s first target if the US attacked.
* in 1991, Mikhail Gorbachev resigned as the head of the Soviet Union. Fucking commies, smelly hippies and the Democrat party hardest hit.
* in 1993, Norman Vincent Peale reached the limits of the Power of Positive Thinking and died at the age of 95.
Today is one of the very best days of the year. Christmas Eve is awesome. I hope you are doing something fun, either with family and friends or with stupid morons on a blog. ‘Tis the season for merriment and cheer and overconsumption of food and booze.
And I hope that Santa ignores the fact that you were a total douche this entire year. Try to not set the tree on fire you dumbass.
Looks like Christmas came early this year…
Merry Christmas, Chloe!
*
Merry Christmas, Erica! Hey…
Merry Christmas, Ines!
*
Merry Christmas, Jana!
*
Merry Christmas, Kerry Marie!! YAY!!!
You gotta love the fact that she doesn’t care that she’s big boned.
CHEERS!
393 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Farst.
Earliest BBF ever!!
Floyd is such a Big Boob.
We’re about to get in the car, visit relatives & wind our way to Atlanta for our flight to Mohammedland on Sunday.
If I don’t check-in here in the near future, let this be my wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Hostages!
PS: Ululululululululululu!
Christmas would not be complete without Kerry Marie
Christmas came early. Again.
Cuffy yall have fun but please be careful! Merry Christmas to you and yours. Take tons of pictures, only bottled water and Ululululululululu!
Awesome poat man-lesbian.
You and the missus and Floyd have the bestest Christmas evah!
NIPPLES!
Loved the choice of Kit Carson and Tennessee Flat Top Box.
Maybe there’s hope for you after all.
Safe travels, Cuffy.
If a bunch of muzzies try to get you to come out to the van in the back of the parking lot and shotgun some beers with them … IT’S A TRAP!!!
Moarnn’ Sohos…can I give you my Christmas present now?
http://tinyurl.com/2fjk5gg
Weren’t we warned about nipples yesterday? *tackles Rosetta and gives him the Chimney Slide*
Nipples? Where?
Areola DOES NOT COUNT! I looked it up.
Weren’t we warned about nipples yesterday? *tackles Rosetta and gives him the Chimney Slide*
YAY!!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
*SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*
*bites sohitas butt*
Areola DOES NOT COUNT! I looked it up.
Correct!
That’s a sweet, sweet loophole.
Ooo, ooo, ooo – before I go, the link to “The Cage” is, how you say, AWESOME. Good job, Al-Rosettahad.
Awesome poat man-lesbian.
You and the missus and Floyd have the bestest Christmas evah!
NIPPLES!
Hahahahaha. Thanks dog.
Cuffy, you doing that video was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.
It’s awesome.
Merry Christmas Andy!
What are you going to do with all that snow?
http://tinyurl.com/36pl2jb
My pleasure, Rosie. This time of year, I like to think that scene is happening in a barn in Bethlehem, you know, off to the side.
That Kit Carson song is one of my favorites, Hotspur.
I actually don’t know anything else by Bruce Cockburn I don’t think but that song is great.
Have a safe trip Cuffah.
If you come back alive I’ll most likely kill you later.
Excellent BBF. Thanks Rosetta.
My pleasure, Rosie. This time of year, I like to think that scene is happening in a barn in Bethlehem, you know, off to the side.
Hahahahahahaha.
Hey…that dog is milking a goat. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!
Thanks for all the well wishes. We’ll have our own Egyptologist, which I think is a fancy way of saying kidanpper.
Important message from Zippo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RHEjneBRak
Thanks MJ.
Merry Christmas Eve.
I’ve got some last minute shopping to do, so I’ll check in with you fine folk later.
The Pupster of Walmart: http://tinyurl.com/2efyb48
OK, gone for real now, will check in as web access allows. Ho-Ho-Ho!
Pup can I exchange that gift since I have several of those…a day?
Thanks MJ.
Merry Christmas Eve.
———————
You too.
Pup can I exchange that gift since I have several of those…a day?
No.
Ok
>> What are you going to do with all that snow?
Hahahahaha
Do you have any idea what the street value of that phallus is?
Merry
ChristmasSummer’s Eve, douche.What Rosetta really meant.
>> Important message from Zippo
RAAAAACIST!!
What Rosetta really meant.
———–
The one time ‘douche’ isn’t mentioned, you have to bring it up? Eh, what am I saying? I thought the same thing. Merry Christmas Andy Dick.
Good job Rosetta.
10,000 Nobel Prizes, two cans of gasoline and a Zippo
My shopping is complete so today will consist of wrapping some presents, enjoying several adult beverages, eating delicious food, wrestling with Floyd, exchanging presents with Mrs Rosetta and maybe watching a flick.
FUN!!!
And it’s snowing. Today is looking to be a fantastic day.
Hahahaha. Glad to be of service, MJ.
Dear God, please let this happen:
http://tinyurl.com/26dqk2z
hey
The best version of one of the best Christmas songs in my honest and factually correct opinion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkx_8PqoIKk
Merry Eve, Edward von Bear.
Happy Christmas Eve EB! I guess I am the only woman finished with all my stuff?
Seen all the Christmas movies?
Oh, no, you haven’t.
“Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale,” a Finnish film released earlier this year. “It’s about a crew of oil diggers in Lapland who come across the grave of Santa Claus and revive him, and he goes on a killing spree. Not for the kids, but it’s pretty entertaining.”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1401143/
meerry eve to all. off to the travels. In the snow.
That’s because you’re awesome, sohitabonita.
Yay! Merry christmas Eve PA!
WOW ….Lemmy was born today in ’45?…sweet!…makes up for Ricky ‘twinkie’ Martin being born on the same day…
Morning, all! Merry Christmas Eve to all of my imaginary Internet friends……
Mr. TiFW’s family are all packing up their belongings in preparation for their journeys back to their respective houses – they all spend Christmas Eve in their own beds. We all had a lot of fun last night in the rental house, and everyone agreed that it is a great place for such a large crowd. We’re already reserving the place for the same time next year.
When Sean gets on here, tell him he owes me a new laptop for his “MY GOD IT’S FULL OF GLUTEN!” comment. I almost fell off of the couch, I was laughing so hard….
I love you guys!
WOW ….Lemmy was born today in ’45?…sweet!…makes up for Ricky ‘twinkie’ Martin being born on the same day…
Hahahahahaha. Good point, billygoatse. I didn’t think of that.
Cosmic balance in the universe.
Ray Charles is my favorite singer
…she’s big boned.
yah. So are these lithe lasses.
http://tinyurl.com/28vkvfc
Rosetta, Floyd looks so cute in his Christmas sweater! That’s a handsome boy you’ve got there – he obviously got his good looks from the other side of the family….. 😉
Cosmic balance in the universe.
HEH…and THEN some, Rosetta!!!
By the way, God bless us, everyo…
HOLY MOLY, LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS!!!!!
As to Christmas songs, I have to say that while I don’t generally like “remakes” of songs that I really like, I do like Mariah Carey’s version of “All I Want for Christmas” as much as I like the Vince Vance and the Valiants version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1VkMBi9vvw
The video’s weird, but the song ROCKS……
Dear California,
Thanks for the rain…..
Love, Texas
Rosetta, Floyd looks so cute in his Christmas sweater! That’s a handsome boy you’ve got there – he obviously got his good looks from the other side of the family….. 😉
Thanks! One of Floyd’s parents was a pig I think. He snorts a lot.
Good morning.
Whose turn is it to glue tinsel to Rosetta’s head?
Well, we know he’s related to you –
The noxious odors and all that……
The key to a good bond is preparation.
*uses emery cloth to knock shine off Rosetta’s pate while hot glue gun is heating up*
Whose turn is it to glue tinsel to Rosetta’s head?
*raises hand
But I prefer to use a staple gun. The glue tends to make more of a mess.
You know what makes a good shot? Tinsel and Jagermeister with a martini chaser.
*tackles laura, accidentally severs her head with my scissorhands*
Now, remember, when using hot glue, be careful. This shit is hot like a motherfucker.
*dispenses boiling hot glue on Rosetta’s scalp*
Use a tool to press the tinsel into place, so you don’t burn your fingers.
*uses a piece of cardboard to press tinsel into hot glue scalp-blisters*
Edward Tinselhands
*tackles laura, accidentally severs her head with my scissorhands*
Put that back.
Can I spray him with the fake snow now?
Edward Tinselhands II: Boring Tree, Shiny Penis
Speaking of tinsel, you know not to use that stuff when you have a puppy in the house, right?
Richard, got some time to kill?
This link Drew posted over at the HQ must be part onion.
http://www.boston.com/yourtown/melrose/articles/2010/12/23/a_teenagers_simple_act_elevates_all/?page=1
Can I spray him with the fake snow now?
Nah, just use the fire extinguisher
Speaking of tinsel, you know not to use that stuff when you have a puppy in the house, right?
Floyd likes to eat it and make sparkly Mares.
Richard, got some time to kill?
sure, why not?
Nah, just use the fire extinguisher
Well, yeah. You think I can afford actual snow-in-a-can?
>> *tackles laura, accidentally severs her head with my scissorhands*
No problem. Where’s that glue gun?
This link Drew posted over at the HQ must be part onion.
http://www.boston.com/yourtown/melrose/articles/2010/12/23/a_teenagers_simple_act_elevates_all/?page=1
Good God, man!
TISSUE!!! CAN I GET SOME TISSUE OVER HERE!!!!
CH-CH-CH-CHIA!
*spreads seed gel on Rosetta’s head*
Excuse me whilst I spike my coffee.
I’ll be right back in just a minute or two so please don’t worry about my absence.
This link Drew posted over at the HQ must be part onion.
It’s a Christmas Miracle!
>> Excuse me whilst I spike my coffee.
Jaeger: Is there anything it can’t do?
Jeez, Andy.
Thanks a LOT.
*cauterizes tear ducts so this can’t happen again*
Everybody say Happy Anniversary to me and send your condolences to Kelly.
Okay.
Merry Christmas, ya K-nuckleheads!
That was great, Hotspur. Merry Christmas, buddy.
And I didn’t realize this when I met you but you have an excellent voice. You could be a narrator or read books on tape or something.
Excellent, hotspur. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Wow! Now I am crying but I do have a touch of the pms
very nice, HS. And best wishes for a wonderful Christmas to you and your family.
That was delightful. Merry Christmas Hotspur Sweetie!
Happy Anniversary Dick and Kelly.
It’s amazing how one person can be so fucking lucky and the other be so totally screwed by life.
Wow! Now I am crying but I do have a touch of the pms
Wow, tomorrow should be AWESOME at the sohos home.
“WTF IS THIS SHIT??!?! YOU FUCKING KNOW I HATE CHANEL #5!!!!!!” *SOHOS SMASH!!!*
Andy, is it time to do our annual Christmas Eve shotgunning of beers and shots of Jager?
It’s amazing how one person can be so fucking lucky and the other be so totally screwed by life.
And all because of one simple marriage ceremony….
Happy Anniversary to Dick & Kelly
Happy Birthday to my Dad
Nice job, Hotspur
Nah I will just get weepy over everything not pissy…happy anniversary dick and kelly!
Here was my joke thread idea.
Most Inappropriate Christmas Songs.
I Saw Mommy Fisting Santa Claus
Santa Claus is Coming On Clowns
>> Andy, is it time to do our annual Christmas Eve shotgunning of beers and shots of Jager?
Why, yes. Yes it is.
*grabs Michael’s keys*
I’ll have a Blue Balls Christmas
“You could be a narrator or read books on tape or something.”
He sounds a lot like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsZGhJih5qI#t=03m38s
Carol of the Balls
Frosty the Serial Killer
We Wish You A Cherry Mistress
Soylent (green) Night
Shaving Ryan’s Evergreen Privates
L – R
Rosetta – Hotspur
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvvly-z2CXE&feature
Silent Night, Hole-ey Night (subtitled: Best Wife Evar!)
Silent Night But Not in Bread’s House
Thanks HotSpur back at ya!
I’ll Be Homo For Christmas
Jingle Hellfire Missile
The 12 Gays of Christmas
One the first gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me
A fabulous handjob for free
On the second gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me
Two testicles and A fabulous handjob for free
On the third gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me
Three anal plugs, two testicles and a fabulous handjob for free
On the fourth gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me
Four tubes of glide, three anal plugs, two testicles and a fabulous handjob for free…
On the fifth gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me,
Fiiiive double-dongs….
Four tubes of glide, three anal plugs, two testicles and a fabulous handjob for free…
and so on…..
Although it’s been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas
Screw you!
Bitch, It’s Cold Outside
Ill be back at some point. I love you all
Have Yourself a Merry Little Labiaplasty
*gives sohos a big, wet sloppy kiss*
Yeah…one of those.
How the Grinch Pwned Christmas
>> Ill be back at some point. I love you all
What song is that supposed to be?
Do You Smell What I Smell?
The story of Rosetta’s childhood
The Little Hummer Boy
Hark the Charlie’s Angels Sing
Good King Penishands
Away In a Stranger
Away in a Mangy Whore
God Bless Ye Merry Assholes
The Fist Know Well
O Come Emmanuel… oooh, yeah, just like that, whore…..
The Little Hummer Boy
Hahahahahaha.
*shoots Scott in face with cannon filled with curdled egg nog, glass shards*
Please Come For Christmas
Let It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain!
Subtitle: It’s beginning to look a lot like California
The 12 Inches of Christmas
Joy Does the World
Rudolph, The Coked Up Reindeer
Ode to Joy Behar
O Little Town of Detroit
Walking in a Winter Shithole Ice Dump Cock Slush Snow Bitch
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Sexual Predator
The Seven Joys of Mary……oh wait
OK, homos, gotta run out for a couple of errands. Continue with your merriment and don’t set anyone on fire. Much.
Walking in a Winter Shithole Ice Dump Cock Slush Snow Bitch
Hahahahahahaha. That’s a good one.
What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve
(So I Can Have Other Plans)
Good King What’s His Name….
I Came Upon a Midnight Clear
I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas
Jingle Bell Cock
Slay Ride
I Saw Mommy Raining Blows Down Upon Santa Claus
O Little Town of Meth ‘n Phlegm
We Three Chinks of Orient Are
What Fucking Child is This??!??!
Go Tell It On Kerry Marie
Silent Night, Massacred Family
Away In A Mangy Whore
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Bankruptcy
What Fucking Child is This??!??!
Hahahahahaha.
If they don’t serve booze in hell I’m kicking your ass.
We’re all going straight to Hell.
Dance of the Lemon Party Fairy
Away In A Mangy Whore
Gee, usually Rosetta is the first one to steal my jokes….
If they don’t serve booze in hell I’m kicking your ass.
We’re all going straight to Hell.
Hahahahahaha
If they don’t serve booze in hell I’m kicking your ass.
okay, that made me laugh til I cried….
Hark! The Herpes Angels Seep
Kick the Balls
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
I was thinking of the secular Christmas songs when I thought of this joke thread. I apologize in advance for damning your souls to hell for all of eternity.
My bad.
Grandma Got Run Over by Some Fucking Drunken Illegal Alien and There’s Not a Fucking Thing We Can Do About It.
I’ll be Home for Christmas but I’m Spending Christmas Eve at Your Sister’s.
All I Want for Christmas Are My Two Balls that You Took When I Married Your Dumb Ass
O Come On Ye Faithful
Grandma Got Run Over by Some Fucking Drunken Illegal Alien and There’s Not a Fucking Thing We Can Do About It.
Hahahahahahahaha.
I’ll be Home for Christmas but I’m Spending Christmas Eve at Your Sister’s.
+1 gajillion Nobels.
Who’s the Faggot with the Bag of Toys?
WHERE ARE THE PAPER TOWELS?!?!
Little Drunken Boy
While Shepherds Shagged Their Flocks
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like We’re Putting You Up for Adoption
God Rest Ye Nappy Headed Hos
Light a Fire in the Fireplace for Santa
(Burn, you fat fuck, burn)
O Little Town of Bethlehem I hereby Apply For a Zoning Variance for a Whorehouse.
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like We’re Putting You Up for Adoption
BWAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
Cock Ring Around The Christmas Peen
O Little Town of Bethlehem I hereby Apply For a Zoning Variance for a Whorehouse.
Hahahahahahaha.
It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Syphilis
Whose Child Is This?
(ok, now I am going … and apparently straight to hell)
Sleigh Bells Ring Are Ya Glistenin’?
(Cuz I Just Gave You A String Of Pearls)
I Saw Mommy Donkey Punch Santa Claus
We Three Kings Of Porn Flicks Are
I Heard the Fights on Christmas Day
Whose Child Is This?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
The Twelve Stages Of Syphillis
Silent But Deadly Night
Happy Anniversary, Dick and Kelly! We should have guessed that Dick is such a cheap bastage that he would make it so that he would only have to buy one gift…..
Seriously, though – best wishes to a really sweet, cute couple.
We saw True Grit yesterday, and agree wholeheartedly with your opinion, Dick – great movie, great cast, a definite must-see.
And you guys and your Christmas songs are just killing me……
Santa Killed Himself Because You Didn’t Eat Your Peas
God Rest Ye Lazy Gentlemen
All I Want for Christmas Is for You to Shut the Fuck Up
Welcome back, Rosetta. . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amnjZtNDKqk
Jesus Drinks Because You Are Naughty
Deck the Halls and Oates
You’re Gettin Nuthin’ For Christmas.. Because Your Touch Yourself in the Bathroom.
Merry Eve, MCPO!
I am currently two Indians.
I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Claus
I’m Gettin’ FUCK SALT For Christmas
I saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Claus
Happy Anniversary Dick and Kelly.
letsee…
“There’s Noel in Gonorrhea”
Rudolf the Blue-Cocked Argentine Lake Duck
O Little Town of Bethlehem You Realize You’re Full of Muslims and Surrounded by Jews, Don’t You?
I Saw Mommy Riding Daddy’s Fingers
‘Twas the day before Christmas,
And all through the blog,
Half these fuckers were schnockered,
On rum and egg nog.
I’ll Be Paroled for Christmas
You can count on me….
I don’t know if I told this story due to my massive holiday consumption of Jager but when we were in Nashville, Mrs Rosetta’s sweet grandma gave my 5-year old nephew a present.
He opened and screamed “I HATE IT!!” and starting bawling.
It was a sweater and a pair of jeans. His Mom and Dad were HORRIFIED!!!
It was fucking excellent.
I Saw Mommy Riding Daddy’s Fingers
*checks box*
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Nazi
*checks box*
Had to be done
“Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Carbon monoxide
Years ago I gave my four year old nephew a Bob The Builder coloring book, at which point he pushed it away and announced “I hate Bob the Builder.”
“I HATE IT!!”
Bwahahaha. “It’s Christmas, bitch! Where’s my muthafuckin’ toys?!”
Do They Know They’re Royally Fucked?
Blew Christmas
Years ago I gave my four year old nephew a Bob The Builder coloring book, at which point he pushed it away and announced “I hate Bob the Builder.”
Hahahahahahaha.
I love shit like that. Kid’s are so fucking honest, it’s awesome.
Go shelling all the Mountains,
over the hills on population cen-ters!
Frothy The Blow Man
I’ve Got My Gun to Keep Me Warm
Suck the Yule Log. SUCK IT!!
Do You Hear What i Hear?
(I think your husband came home early.)
Bwahahaha. “It’s Christmas, bitch! Where’s my muthafuckin’ toys?!”
Hahahahaha. Exactly. He couldn’t have been more pissed if he had opened a box of dirt.
I have lyrics at my house for a Christmas song parody called “God Rest Ye Faithful Football Fans” that are really cute. Unfortunately, they’re 300 miles away…..
Do Those Poor Malnourished Infants in Sub-Saharan Africa Know It’s Christmas?
One year when I was five, my Uncle Cal gave me a motherfucking box of laundry soap. I was pissed and stomped out of the room.
We still laugh about it.
This is why we ALWAYS give toys or really, really neat clothing items for Christmas (like the nightgowns for our great-nieces). I still remember how much it sucked to get clothes for Christmas…..
WOO HOO!
Homemade California rolls for Christmas Eve!!
If We Make It Through December I’m Divorcing Your Fat Ass
These Are Few Of My Favorite Sex Toys
One year when I was five, my Uncle Cal gave me a motherfucking box of laundry soap. I was pissed and stomped out of the room.
We still laugh about it.
Hahahahaahaha. I’m going to start doing shit like that to my nephews.
I want them to start dreading opening my gift.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Frosty the Snowtransgender
Santa Claus is Coming to Town so You Better Have the Fucking Money.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town so You Better Have the Fucking Money.
Hahahahahahahahaa. Nice work.
Dildos Mare Will Need When High….
Here We Come a-Vomiting…
We Wish You Would Go The Fuck Home
All I Want for Christmas Is You (In a Woodchipper)
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town But You Live in the Country, Faggot
Go Tell It On The Mountain, ‘Cause Nobody Here Really Gives a Flying Fuck.
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like You’re Going to Have to Quit School and Get a Job. I Know You’re Seven.
Hahahaha
It was a box of Trend laundry detergent, and henceforth he named me Bubble La Perkins, the Trend Girl.
Oh my God that man could give me some shit. But I dearly loved his ass. He would have made a grand Hostage.
Randolph the Brown Nosed Reindeer
Flew just like the other eight
Fast and fleet in the air
But he always stopped too late.
It’s beginning to look like your weight loss is just a symptom.
Joy to the World Except for Little Boys Named Timmie
We Three Kings of Orient supplied WalMart with your fucking presents.
Away to the window
I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutter,
Stuck my dick out and screamed,
“Fuck the World.”
Slip into Christmas
(Christmas.)
It was a box of Trend laundry detergent, and henceforth he named me Bubble La Perkins, the Trend Girl.
Hahahahahaha. He was my type of guy.
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.
Then my other Mommy came in and started blowing him.
Everybody say Happy Anniversary to me and send your condolences to Kelly.
Happy Condolences! Dick and Kelly.
Merry Merry Gents and Gals… and you too, Wiser.
Für Burger
MERRY EVE, SWEET CATHY!!!
*SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!!*
Speaking of slipping into Christmas:
NSFW
Here We Go a Wrasselin
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Longrod von Hugendong
Yummy, Rosetta. Extra nice one. Thanks. You start drinkin’ early?
Here We Go a Wrasselin
Hahahahaha. Good one.
http://tinyurl.com/26qs993
Merry Merry Gents and Gals… and you too, Wiser.
Merry Christmas, sweet beautiful Cathy
Little Drummer Boy-toy.
Yummy, Rosetta. Extra nice one. Thanks. You start drinkin’ early?
Early for who?
Angels We Have Shot on Meth
I’ll be Home for Christmas so I Can Give You This Clap I Picked Up in Tokyo.
Awwwww, Wiser. Love you for that.
*smooch*
NSFW
https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/imagen3ag4.jpg
What the fuck.
– all the points in the world
‘Twas the Night Before I Fucked Your Brother
Cathy, your present is under the tree located at 11:58AM.
Here Comes Panty Hose.
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like You Have Crippling Syphilis
Might be 10:58 at your location.
O Holy Shit
—The Frau Morgenholz Christmas Cookie Baking Song
“Do You Fear What I Fear?” by Shaky & the Paranoids
Here Comes Panty Hose.
Hahahahahaha.
Here comes Santa Claus here comes Santa Clause
right on Misty Lane
<i.thy, your present is under the tree located at 11:58AM
Okay????? Um. Thanks.
*???*
All I Want for Christmas Is You (In a Woodchipper)
Here Comes Santa Claus, No Wait, It’s the Monster That Lives Under Your Bed
Here Comes Santa Claus
Here Comes Santa Claus
Right Down Your Mommy’s Throat….
Hahahaha. These song titles are all so funny. Tears are running down my cheeks.
The Twelve Gays of Christmas: Featuring Rahm Emmanuel and the Guys From “Man’s Country”.
Cathy, what do you and what’s his name have going on today?
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like You’re Going to Have to Quit School and Get a Job. I Know You’re Seven.
Here Comes Santa Claus, No Wait, It’s the Monster That Lives Under Your Bed
*???*
Sorry, try 10:58AM.
Dominick the Donkey Puncher
Hahahaha. These song titles are all so funny.
*Tears are running down my cheeks.*
Here Comes Santa Claus
Here Comes Santa Claus
Right Down Your Mommy’s Throat….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I like how Lippy goes straight to 11.
Lippy, can I speak to you under the mistletoe?
Happy Xmas (John is Dead)
Comment by wiserbud on December 24, 2010 1:31 pm
Here Comes Santa Claus, No Wait, It’s the Monster That Lives Under Your Bed
WRITE YOUR OWN MATERIAL!!
I Saw Three Ships Come Crashing in, all hands were lost in frigid seas
I saw three ships collide and sink on Christmas Day in the morn-ing!
Frosty the Wendy’s Milkshake
WRITE YOUR OWN MATERIAL!!
*cough*
Comment by Rosetta on December 24, 2010 1:27 pm
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like You Have Crippling Syphilis
*cough cough*
Comment by wiserbud on December 24, 2010 12:42 pm
It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Syphilis
*cough
Santa Claus is Comin’ Slow Down
All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth, but Wait Until I’ve Kicked Meth For Good.
I Saw Mommy Shaving Ryan’s Privates
All I Want for Christmas is Mature Asian Amputee Porn
There’s No Place Like Hooter’s for the Holidays
Hark! The Harold Angels Sing
Lippy, can I speak to you under the mistletoe?
*notices that Rosie is wearing a mistletoe belt buckle*
ermmm, oh gosh, look at the time — gotta run!
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a lot brighter over the mantle than you’d think.
ermmm, oh gosh, look at the time — gotta run!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Worst Christmas ever.
Who Are You Doin’ New Year’s Eve?
Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go.
No, literally. See you morons later tonight.
Santa Claus is Coming To Town and This Time, He’s Pissed!
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
I leave for church shortly after 3:00 for two worship services and won’t be home until probably 9:00. We’ll have a party of sorts for choir between the services. I hope I don’t lose my voice, but I’m not singing any solos so that is a good thing.
Will keep supper simple. Home made Chili or taco salad tonight (yummy) and a more formal dinner tomorrow. Just taking it easy.
What about you, Rosetta?
Mark! The Hare-lipped Angels Sing
“Mory tmoo..feh moo norm Ming!”
Frosty the Snowman
Had a 12 Inch Carrot Cock
Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)
(No joke. It’s a real song.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzvQr8fidLo
Mark! The Hare-lipped Angels Sing
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
The Nutsucker Suite
I leave for church shortly after 3:00 for two worship services and won’t be home until probably 9:00. We’ll have a party of sorts for choir between the services. I hope I don’t lose my voice, but I’m not singing any solos so that is a good thing.
Will keep supper simple. Home made Chili or taco salad tonight (yummy) and a more formal dinner tomorrow. Just taking it easy.
That’s fun. Please be extra good to help balance out my evil. Hahaha.
What about you, Rosetta?
Mrs Rosetta and Floyd are napping which is why I’m hanging out here being stupid. We’re going to wrap some gifts, make some delicious clam chowder, exchange our gifts with each other and then watch Mary Poppins.
We started a new tradition this year. We watch my favorite movie which is Willy Wonka on Thanksgiving and her favorite movie on Christmas Eve.
And of course I will be enjoying a few adult beverages.
We have two inches on snow which makes all of the above even more fun.
Merry Christmas to all the Hostage hells.
Sounds perfect, Rosetta. Say HI to Mrs. for me.
‘k, I’m out. Band’s got a gig tonight at the Oakdale Theatre.
BBL.
Mark! The Hare-lipped Angels Sing
“Mory tmoo..feh moo norm Ming!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Give whoever wrote that one for you $5. Good one.
Chest Hairs Roasting…
Good luck at your gig, wiserbud. Try not to fuck it up.
“favorite movie which is Willy Wonka”
Mine too (not counting Roadhouse of course)
Gotta go kids. I wasted time with you dorks until the storms hit. Now I shop soggy.
If any of you miss me, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like You’re Not My Kid
Your wife is napping, and you’re fucking around here? What is wrong with you?
Mine too (not counting Roadhouse of course)
Hahahahaha. No shit?
You’re obviously a man of excellent tastes, super intelligent and good looking.
Merry Christmas Eve, punk.
Dogs make awesome nap partners.
Tinsel Head, please give your lovely wife a squeeze for me and tell her she’s pure awesomeness and Merry Freakin’ Christmas.
She aint napping she’s folding laundry like i told her to
Bye Dave. Bye Wiser. Play nice.
Hahahahaha.
Hot Air has a post up “What are the indispensable Christmas carols?”
I bet the comments on that and these comments are virtually identical.
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Snuggly.
Little hummer boy
Tinsel Head, please give your lovely wife a squeeze for me and tell her she’s pure awesomeness and Merry Freakin’ Christmas.
I will. She lurves you.
Nobody likes Rosetta. . .EVERYBODY loves Mrs. Rosetta!
I’m dreaming of a 3 piston ass-hammer,
Just like the ones you used to blow. . .
Nobody likes Rosetta. . .EVERYBODY loves Mrs. Rosetta!
Floyd likes me so fuck you!!
At least most of the time he does.
Stupid pig.
I’m Getting An AK47 For Christmas
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas Eve, friends. You all crack my shit up which is about the nicest thing you can do.
Time to
make the donutswrap the presents.BBL
http://tinyurl.com/35rhgg3
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!
Amazing.
I love stuff like this.
http://www.salem-news.com/articles/december202010/history-giants-ta.php
I’m talking about the comments to the article, of course.
Heh.
Little Fluffer Boy
Chet’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.
GIANTS??!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-NC2w0cFEs
Okay, I’m out for a while. Gotta go home, shower, shave, and dress for tonight’s merriment.
If you’re having drunk Uncle Dave over, be sure to warn the teenage girls not to let him lure them under the mistletoe. Fucking old pervert.
I need to duck out too. Buy lovelies. Maybe later…
Erica Campbell is indeed a fine, fine Christmas gift.
Nice job, Rosettabobettah.
And Merry Christmas to all you Hostages, Captives, and Detainees. Even the ones who have issues with the guy we named the holiday for.
http://bit.ly/en5Be1
Merry Christmas to you and yours, BiW.
Rosetta?
http://bit.ly/Qevjl
Back. Soaked. Cold.
Back. Soaked. Cold.
Aww poor Dave. Come on over here and I’ll warm you up.
*hides lighter behind back*
Dave! Did you get lots of good deals?
I did ok Chief.
*hits TI with a hot buttered tortilla
TI, you gonna eat that?
TI, you gonna eat that?
It all depends on whether Dave wants to add some nutella to that tortilla.
Merry Christmas everybody! *waves*
Merry Christmas Brew. Thank you.
Merry Christmas, Brewman!
Nutella? You mean people actually consume that shit?
Disgusting….
Mmmm, I love that stuff.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL!!!!
Pass the Nutella.
Whew! For a second there I thought you said nutria.
I’m reposting this for the newcomers:
Nutria make decent stew, that’s about it.
Let’s all have roasted nutria sammiches!
*listens to Hotspur’s video*
*swoons…*
I’m about to open a bottle of wine. Anybody like a glass?
Anybody like a glass?
Why, thank you, Andy. I’ll take a glass of wine.
*stuffs box o’ vino in the trash*
Nutria make decent stew, that’s about it.
In Argentina they sell nutria fur coats. Very soft.
FREE NUTRIA
Well, time for the family shindig at my sister’s.
Pray for me….
*takes a long swig of wine*
Hahahaha. Racist.
So, I made a loaf of whole wheat black walnut bread today. It smelled great.
*Prays for Aggie*
*Pours her a refill*
*slips Aggie a flask of vodka*
*pours another glass of Christmas cheer*
Glad I’ve got nowhere to go!
Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Codes).
(Better print this list..lest you forget…)
ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
Went to MIL’s house and visited for a while. She’s still not feeling good, so we came back to the rental house and are probably in for the evening. The kids have made a last-minute dash to the grocery store for hot cocoa mix and marshmallows so we can do it up right tonight.
One nice thing about small towns near the border – homemade tamales sold out of a truck and a cooler. So we have those for tomorrow, too – a Texas tradition that this gal who grew up near Houston hadn’t even heard of until a few years ago…..
Becca’s excited: “Santa’s coming! Santa’s coming!”
And isn’t that what makes Christmas so much fun?
Right now, she’s sitting in the recliner with her bag of pepperoni, watching Spongebob Squarepants. All’s right with her world…..
And the 24-hour “A Christmas Story” marathon starts tonight at 8:00 p.m. eastern time on TBS……
Also at 8pm, we have “It’s a Wonderful Life”, which I will force my daughter to watch this year.
Why? Because I said so, that why!
Here We Come on Carol
Merry Christmas!
I love you all.
Damn prime rib got done too fast. A little overdone, hope no one notices!
Merry Christmas to H2! I hope it smells as good where you are as where I am.
*sniffsniff*
I hope it smells better in the next room than where I am.
OK, new TV viewing schedule: It’s a Wonderful LIfe at 8:00 p.m. EST, A Christmas Story either later tonight or sometime tomorrow.
Whether the kids like it or not…..
If you don’t want to wait an hour…
http://tinyurl.com/2698rzy
Pups! What are you up to this fine Christmas Eve?
I’m shaking presents and trying to guess whats in ’em.
How are you my fine friend? How’s Christmas in the desert?
Merry Christmas, Hostage kin!
*opens can of tuna to eat with John. John’s plate looks like ham and au gratin potatoes.
It finally stopped raining! It’s a clear, pleasant evening and Mr. L. is outside grilling chicken.
He just stopped by to give me a sample — mmmm, tequila lime marinated!
Merry Christmas PattyAnn!
New poat!
[…] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the ladies (last […]