Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. My computer is desperately trying to run some kind of script that’s blocked, so I’ve rebooted twice and still getting “Firefox not responding”. Ball peen hammer may be required.
Let’s get at least a few hunks in here.
Lorenzo Lamas.
Another meetup with Mare.
Camping?
Not bad.
I saved this one for last.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
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Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 
First
Ides of March cuntz.
I’m getting a new crown today.
I see HHD got HS out of bed finally.
what happened to your old tiaras?
nice hammer roamy
Hahahahaha
Rachel Maddow pulled a rabbit out of her
hatcunt last night.Speaking of guys, I love how that idiot, Maddow discredited himself.
When will we see TRMS again? After 6 weeks of winter? Pretty sure that wasn’t her shadow she saw last night. It was Trump throwing shade at her.
D’OH, Hotspur beat me to it.
Does the last guy have a boner? Asking for Hotspur.
And then Trump said…
Old crown/tooth was cracked when I went in for cleaning, so I’ve been eating on a temporary. Today I get a new hat for what remains of the molar.
Moose is 135, Jimbro
Camping guy looks like maybe he skips leg day.
I noticed that too. Big legs probably don’t help you get modeling gigs, though. Maybe he’s a climber.
Scott is outside dealing with the glacier at the end of the driveway.
It looks pretty bad.
1-3-5 !!!
Ho Lee Fuk
No wonder you’re concerned he’s on the bed.
Plow guy did our driveway at 9 PM last night really fast and when I opened my garage door this morning I was distressed to see he left a 20 foot swath of snow in front of my side of the garage. We dug out right in front of the garage and I had the boy cut a path out to the plowed part for when he left for school. Fortunately he came back around and did a back drag of that snow.
Esophagram in 10 minutes
I had girflfriends that didn’t weigh 135.
Not a lot of them, but some.
Jimbro- even having his head on you is heavy.
This guy is a total hipster chef but he is funny and I’d definitely pay money for his burgers
https://is.gd/bYtmjM
I’ve been shoveling this driveway for 30 years and that was the worst.
One big block of ice.
Did anyone catch the weather forecast just before Wiser’s show?
Lady must have put in Monday’s tape.
I nearly crapped my pants when heard blizzard warning.
Just the small patch I did here sucked. Definitely heart attack snow. ER’s going to be busy today.
* rings Car in’s doorbell *
esophagram
Waiting
They weren’t sure they could see everything. They may have to do another test this afternoon which will suck
Waiting.
So, Mare doesn’t recognize a boner when she sees one?
If that’s a boner … disappointing
Esophogram
——–
Good one, snow man.
Waiting still
I’m dying here. Plus now I’m in danger of being late to work
Your mom explained boners to me. She had extensive knowledge.
Whole Foods has sumo oranges! http://tinyurl.com/h9jfvum
They are about $3 bucks a piece, but they are worth every penny.
Sumos are only around for a couple of weeks.
Go now!
#occupydentallobby
They are building my crown now.
I went out to play frisbee and discovered that the wind really hasn’t completely died down from the storm. Second toss it landed in a tree 180 degrees from where I threw it
Gold, silver or -sniff-, composite?
It’s probably a potato.
I actually have no idea what they make crowns from
This is great…
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-39277940
I’ll bet somebody has a new job, today…
Old one was gold, there’s not much tooth left so the new one might be. I was not consulted on material choice.
Pretty sure I saw a Sumo orange the other day at the Hannaford’s. I’ll check mañana
I don’t care about the song, but Lindsey Stirling dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast makes me feel funny. Like when I had to climb the rope in gym class.
Last crown I got was made all in one appointment. It takes about 2.5 hours with about a 45 minute wait while the sculpting machine makes it. But you don’t have to wait a week with some shitty aluminum cylinder for a temp.
Amazing process. I think the material is ceramic.
There’s a contract to be had in an anti-drone system if we don’t have one already.
Other than hypersonic AA missiles, that is.
I had the same feeling, Alex. Beastly.
I listen to NPR everyday, so you don’t have to. (You’re welcome.)
They have been non-stop Trump bashing in their stories. They turn even the most mundane subjects into anti-Trump propaganda.
They’re going to go down in flames when Trump fires the Patriot missile in his pants at their funding.
Talk about a boner.
Jimbro, those first two burgers were incredible looking. I’ve never tried black garlic. But almost anything fermented is intriguing to me.
Also, since you hilarious muppetfuckers wouldn’t stop talking about liver and onions the other day, I ran out and bought some. Lunch is gonna be gooooood.
The key is to clean it properly before cooking by slicing away all the rubbery bits, then cook it quickly just until it is barely set in the middle. Soft and slightly creamy, no leathery liver.
Nomnomnom.
Pat brought home some sumo oranges. They were very good
I overcooked my liver, but it’s in a mixed dish and cut very small, so it still turned out good.
I overmarinate my liver in port and bourbon.
The US Army is looking to use it’s Phalanx based C-RAM system for counter-drone ops in the short term. But that only protects fixed installations. They’re still trying to figure the best, cost effective method, for protecting maneuver units. Mostly, it will probably be as simple as jamming.
I don’t have dental insurance so I don’t have real crowns. Mine were built by hand with epoxy.
A couple of them have to be 10 years old by now.
I just got off the phone with my mom.
She voted for Reagan, and now she’s to the left of Bernie Sanders.
Car in might be my sister.
Scott, how does that happen??
And no one talk to Laura until she gets the stink of liver off her.
I’m about to drive past the Willow Run plant.
Ah, there’s the traffic. He announced killing 2016 CAFE, so I ain’t even mad.
Mare, she lives in the center of progressivism, so most of her friends are lefties.
The local paper is a commie rag.
She trusts the media, because for most of her life the media was rather honest. So today her “facts” come from MSNBC, CNN, and Mother Jones.
…to clean it properly before cooking by slicing away all the rubbery bits
You mean all the cirrhosis?
It’s really frustrating because she is a very bright woman and I can’t get her to even question any of it.
My mom has put some anti-Trump stuff up on her facebook. She’s in blue state Massachusetts so it’s a given. Plus my sister is vehemently anti-Trump and they’re on the phone daily and quilting together at least weekly.
Paula’s sister is a teacher in southern Maine and, as you would expect, anti-Trump. She and her brother have been waging war since the election. It’s childish behavior from adults.
Actually, now that I think about it, it started with George Bush.
She couldn’t stand him from day 1. Her hatred for him led to BDS.
Black Jesus eventually came and saved us all.
The end.
Rolling stone is a good source for my mom.
Growing up I never heard a peep about politics from my mom. My dad, a life long union member (shout out to the 5-37…yo!), voted a straight Democrat Party ticket. She must be getting it from my sister. Also wondering, with our new Leftist Pope, if church is filling her head with bullshit during the homily.
Question of the day:
What percentage of lefties know that global warming is a hoax.?
Not enough. It’s what ‘smart people’ believe, so they have it as a central tenet of the faith they refuse to acknowledge as a modern pagan religion.
A lot of them are smart.
Yes, but most of them never bother to question it, even those who ought to know better. I asked a lefty engineer friend of mine if the earth rotated. She said “of course”. I asked her to prove it. Crickets.
They take this on faith. The very thing you’re supposed to test and test and always be able to test… they take on faith. A ‘smart guy’ said so, and it comports with my politics, so it’s true.
To be a good lefty you need to help spread the hoax.
It’s hard for me to understand how a scientist could ignore 35 years of failed predictions.
Some of them have to know.
I know lots of smart people that believe wholeheartedly in global warming, the human caused kind, and every piece of propaganda that goes with it. The university endorses it.
Get out your camera….. http://i.imgur.com/UaFRJgH.gif
Dumbasses
PAPER. FINISHED. Hallelujah!!
I worked straight through lunch, then forgot to cook liver. Ate some sweet potatoes and a piece of mom’s spinach pie. Damn.
Fastest bat in the world…
http://tinyurl.com/jcyalgx
Woops!
Should have tinyurld that.
Sorry…
Never be sorry for content, Chrispy!!
Can someone fix that, or should I go into the editor and break the blog?
http://tinyurl.com/jcyalgx
Is what it should be…
Fixed
HA http://tinyurl.com/jblzcux
Thanks, Scott!
Hahahaha
Ace writes 30 paragraphs on a remote control vibrating dildo.
He ca really bring the funny.
And how can a dildo company afford to pay out $3.75m?
I think Ace’s cultural commentary is funnier than his political commentary.
I’ve seen the dumb versions in action, and they seemed to work just fine.
lololol
And how can a dildo company afford to pay out $3.75m?
————————————-
Volume.
A lot of women are unsatisfied with the dicking situation. Some need a little help to get there even if they are satisfied.
I knew a girl that had a suitcase full of sex toys and was neither.
A lot of women are unsatisfied with the dicking situation.
But not your mom.
OMG hahahahahaha.
I just read Rachel Maddow referred to as ‘lifelong Karate Kid cosplayer.’
LOL
Gross
The Russians hacked into Cankles’ We-Vibe.
Ha Ha
Next time I see her she’ll be getting a “I liked you Karate Kid”.
Rachel Maddow’s favorite We-Vibe setting is 19 minutes on “yawn”.
http://nypost.com/2017/03/14/transgender-dad-and-daughter-transition-together/
Sure, what the hell, why not.
in
https://is.gd/GwBTw3
LOL
Trump is already running for reelection.
He’ll be lucky if he survives his first term.
The entire democrat party, half the republicans, and all of the media want him boned.
He doesn’t stand a chance.
https://is.gd/_for__CARin
Fuckin Aye.
https://is.gd/bhondY
That Nerf guy is what I think professional psychologists call an asshole.
Pretty sure I’d suffer after the 2nd Nerf gun shot if I tried that here
GND thinks he’s going to be assassinated.
I think its 25-75 against. If he builds the wall it’ll be 50-50.
MJ, what are you referring to about Trump?
Assassinated by the Russians.
Pence becomes president. Basically serves three terms.
Liberals eat their young.
America becomes great again.
St. Donald.
“He doesn’t stand a chance.”
President Pence is going to kick ass.
I was watching Fox News and they cut to a victory rally speech in Nashville.
It’s essentially a campaign event. As long as people show up, he’ll be doing these.
Oh, by the way, Hillary is a cunt.
I’m sure she’s a very nice person.
Oh, by the way, Hillary is a cunt who will never be President of the US.
FTFY
Thank you, xbrad. You’re the best.
OFA is still a thing. Not worried about DJT being in a continual campaign. I just want him to punch back harder on Ryan and Gang of Eight.
But you’ve never met Mare, so you suck in that regard.
I think he has the left on the ropes.
He has the left in a downward spiral of fail.
“Pretty sure I’d suffer after the 2nd Nerf gun shot if I tried that here”
yep – here too
i’d probably become a morgue entry
btw – if that’s not a put – on, then there’s something wrong with that guy
Oh by the way, Chelsea Fetch Clinton will never ever happen. Looks like Hubbell; less personality than Hill Pickles
Scott, I hope you are right. Living in Ann Arbor means having no conservative friends except youse guys, who are my FIF.
My friends in Florida are very conservative so it was a good vacation.
The media bias is so thick you need a butcher knife.
Evening Hostages. Anybody else have their masturbatory habits monitored by a third party or is that just Wiser?
https://is.gd/__Oh__HI__MJ
Pretty sure the sixth pic was at MJ’s house.
Nerf – Mrs. Pupster would spend all her savings on nerf guns and ammo and it would be an epic duel.
Also, yes that guy in the gif is a moron because his hot wife obviously doesn’t like it.
He should get her a We-Vibe.
Fuck the bubble. They aren’t in charge anymore.
My wife would be, vaguely, amused at the nerf thing for a couple days. Then she would either respond with overwhelming nerf force…or kill me in my sleep. 50/50 shot.
HotBride would grab me by my kiscunies, and say, “Don’t fuckin do it again.”
In a lilting Scottish accent.
Disturbing
My wife is from Maryland. PG County to be exact. A cop’s daughter.
Never mind about that 50/50 thing. I’d be a dead man.
Go to coal country and ask anyone on the street about transgender bathrooms.
Nerf rules of engagement
Pupster’s gif gallery was disturbing. Hotspur’s nads being contorted into origami is more like just desserts or something.
Using nads and desserts in the same sentence is also disturbing.
Yeah, you want to marry the girl who would jam the nerf gun barrel in your snoring mouth and watch you while you woke up. Not the one who gets pissy because you ruined her power yoga.
The boys used to get Nerf gun stuff every so often which I was cool with. Having the darts hanging around the house after being shot adding to the existing mess was really fucking annoying. Pretty sure the grandparents figured that out.
Actually she’d say something like, “I can put that wee baby piece of shite up your arse if you want. Your choice, ducky.”
The Willow Run rally was standing room only, Scott. He got drowned out by applause multiple times. Kitchen tables and car factories don’t care about tranny bathrooms.
it snowed all friggin’ day again – it was light but still constant
we’re up to 30 point some odd inches now.
my neighbor (who i thought was a good guy) threw most of his snow into my driveway and covered up my damn car – not sure what to think of that cause the guy is actually decent…
i spent all day fixing snow throwers and clearing driveways and doggie paths.
one of our dogs didn’t want to go out the last couple of days and has been stealth shitting around the house – i booted him off the porch tonight with a warning
Pups, that’s pretty much exactly who I married.
Here’s a little story to illustrate that. So one night, years ago, while we were asleep…I twitched. I do that sometimes. Apparently it was a leg twitch and I kneed her right in the ass. Hard. “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” *sleepy mumble* “Sorry baby.” I attempt to put my arm across her or something….elbowed her in the face. “OW G**DAMMIT!!!” *more sleepy mumbling* “Whashamattersorry” I then attempted to scoot closer to her and shoved her off the bed onto the floor. *continues sleeping*
So she very calmly got up, walked around to the other side of bed, got into bed behind me, snuggled up close, held onto my shoulders, and then kneed me in the ass as hard as she could.
Stealth shit is the worst.
The worst part of that nerf-guy’s video is how he annoys her right when she’s chilling (like doing yoga). If you can’t relax at home, why be there?
Wiser has been looking for a knee-ass expert.
You should go on his show.
Subject Matter Expert on Knee-Ass.
I finally made it, Ma! Obscure guest on local radio!
The nerf guy is a dick. He’ll be divorced if he isn’t already.
Nobody needs that.
Star did a not so stealth pee today when I showered. I walked back in the bedroom and felt the moisture on my bare foot. I had been keeping the upstairs gated off and she had already been out 3 times by then. It was a distress at momma being away pee*
*that’s what I’m going with in my head so I don’t take her to the pound.
OH. So since the last time I talked to you savages, the wife and I sold our house. Closing in about 4 weeks. Then 9 months in an apartment while the new place is being built.
Star is a dick.
Good luck with that bcoch.
Fun times.
9 months? You fell for that?
Congrats, Brent.
And, we’re not savages. We’re Hostages.
You know better.
Y’all can be both Hotspur. Hostages are overachievers like that.
And thanks guys. We hadn’t really considered moving before last summer. I happened to check on new home prices…and then what our house would roughly go for and……holy shit. This, assuming everything goes reasonably according to plan, is a once in a lifetime kinda thing.
We’re selling at almost $130/sq ft and buying at under $90/sq ft. And the new home will be a big upgrade both in size and quality.
that sounds great b’cock!
congrats
http://tinyurl.com/h6mq7hg
this is a shot looking out back to my workshop today
I wish you the best, bchoch.
Moving sucks…..and don’t get me started on builders
BCoch, how is your shoulder?
scott, I know. Moving is awful. I got a price today on having the moving company come in and pack the shit up themselves and then put it in storage. Ouch. But with the wife and I both working, trying to get this place ready to move would be a nightmare.
TiFW….kinda shitty at the moment. I had a cortisone shot back right before Christmas and that made a huge difference in my PT. Big gains. Reduction in pain. Flexibility vastly improved. Now I think it’s been about 3 months and the effects are wearing off. Therapist says I’m not losing any of the flexibility that I gained, but I’ve definitely plateaued. And there’s been an increase in soreness.
The nerf guy is a dick. He’ll be divorced if he isn’t already.
And then he’ll go around telling everyone how marriage is a scam and how all women are just out to steal your money and ruin your reputation.
I feel yer pain BCochran, I had my big move right about a month ago. And I’ll probably get to do it again later this year. Yay?
Off BC. We’ll move as little as possible over to an apartment for the 9 months while the house is being built. The vast majority of the crap we’ve collected will go into storage. Then everything into the new place.
I told my wife that the next time I move it will either be to the nursing home or into the ground.
Hey thanks autocorrect.
“Off” was supposed to be “oof”.
In my case I’m just waiting for probate to finish so I get the various funds and implement Plan Improve Cavil.
Tushar didn’t have a slumlord Jax location for you?
http://tinyurl.com/golq63f
LOL, oso. I refuse to live in Duval County (Jax). Not with my kids in public school. That school district suuuuuuuuucks.
I get this!!! WSB needs a post at Ace.
9 months is a pretty good estimate. Only off by 2x.
Juniper levels at Red. I can’t breathe. Lost 2 1/2 hrs of work today. Humidity in the teens. Pollen in the red zone.
The only thing missing are the hoppers.
Blreg. what a day.
And I’ve got two more just like it.
Actually she’d say something like, “I can put that wee baby piece of shite up your arse if you want. Your choice, ducky.”
Totally heard that in Hotbride’s voice.
I still giggle when I remember her talking about mustache rides.
Roamy,
Did you see my link to “Space Bat”?
Night all…
Depressed, Esther read poetry.
I wonder if snow reduces the crime rate.
I mean, burglaries, for sure, right.
Yeah, burglary, no way. You’d have to be an idiot.
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2017/03/16/have-you-hugged-a-crustacean-lately/