Some familiar stuff here. We have been fighting the Left’s nonsense for a while.
Why did I put up this clip of Ronaldus Maximus? Because I watched Iron Man 2 tonight, and in so many ways the movie is a love letter to this man. Really. Peace through strength. Private Property. The recognition that there is evil in the world. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil it for you, but I will tell you that his testimony to the sticky-fingered Senate Armed Services Committee had me yelling “Hell Yeah!” at the screen.
Besides, any flick that can include songs from the only band that mattered…The Clash…is ok in my book.
*
[Worst Update Ever: Rosetta]
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
*sigh*
I miss him so much
Eddie, I’m not sure what he’d make of us.
I’d say that he’d be ashmed of what we have become, but that would be against his character. It is more likely that he’d just get to work, realizing how much there is to do.
10,000 points, BiW…….to be spent on fine wine and good food,
(Can I go with you?)
How about I just make us dinner, Mare? I’m an awesome cook, and that way you have more money for the wine.
Romaine, tomato, cilantro, blue cheese, olives and pickes for a salad, with a homemade vinegrette, followed by a cedar plank grilled salmon, steamed yukon gold potatoes (that have been nowhere near rosie’s squeakhole), parmesan angel hair, and fresh strawberries for desert.
The witty flirtation and making eyes is complimentary.
I really need to go to bed now. No body set wiser on fire until I get back. I don’t want miss the best wiennie roast evar.
No body set wiser on fire until I get back.
Oops. Sorry about that.
Wakey wakey.
Should I read through last night’s comments?
A YouTube and 3 short paragraphs?
MOM!!! BIW’S PASSWORD GOT HACKED AGAIN!!!
Least surprising news ever, Mr. Hand.
http://tinyurl.com/35eaupy
Those are nice looking buds. How would I know? Umm, Car in told me! Yeah, thats the ticket!
Good morning, lemmings!
Dude, don’t bogart all the union!!!
Least surprising news ever, Mr. Hand.
Have I mentioned I hate unions? I mean HATE – even more than I hate the you-know-whos. 😛
I really do hate unions and anyone who supports them. I ran across a good article on the history of unions in the US the other day. I posted an excerpt here, but here’s the link if you’re down with puttin’ yourself some knowledge.
http://tinyurl.com/2dha7lq
Nominated as the official Hostage beer: http://tinyurl.com/d96ae8
You’ll see why when you click the link. Understated, yet appropriate.
Dude….that’s my skull.
Wait. What? Oh yeah.
NO JUSTICE!! NO PEACE!!
KEEP YOUR LAWS OUT OF MY UTERUS, MAN!!!
Palin makes Obama taste her dick:
*** Tosses Coffee on Counter ***
Aunt/Uncle Rosetta, are we getting a Big Bazomba-ed Shaved Yeti again this week like we did last week?
* Driveby snark. Running late to MouseHunt…
*** Ms. Sky, it could have been that you got fired, and Aunt Flo DIDN’T show up. See Ms. PJM for further details. ***
Why can’t we be as kickassawesome as Brazil???
http://tinyurl.com/37qf44t
This country is run by fucking idiots.
*Stumbles into room. Rubs eyes. Sees who’s here. Scratches nutsack. Hears tummy growl. Decides to go back upstairs for food and beverage.*
Aunt/Uncle Rosetta, are we getting a Big Bazomba-ed Shaved Yeti again this week like we did last week?
Sox, three seconds before things go black.
http://tinyurl.com/38ttdas
From the previous post:
I buy online.
When Michael feels the need to quote his own comment, it’s time to move to H3.
So, Sestak wasn’t the only one to whom Obama’s administration offered a job in exchange for ditching a race?
http://tinyurl.com/3y6bmb2
GOP moves to repeal Obamacare. No one notices. Bears shit in the woods.
http://tinyurl.com/3993pcr
Tavis Smiley is a fuckwad jerkoff with a stupid name.
http://tinyurl.com/2vyo7wn
Hillary Clinton leeches a metric tonne of stupidity into the atmosphere every fucking day.
http://tinyurl.com/2vyo7wn
Got me a bad case of swamp nuts.
*shakes fist* MAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!
Got me a bad case of swamp nuts.</I.
I have no idea of what that means, but perhaps bathing is in order.
If you want something ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL to start your day – and I mean that sincerely – this is priceless. I would bet you’ll remember it all day long.
http://tinyurl.com/2vhgbkn
This whole “[d]id you plug the hole yet, daddy?” meme is getting old. I suspect one of the reasons that it keeps getting play is that it backdoors the idea that the President is a paternal figure looking out for us, that he knows what’s good for us, and that it’s eminently reasonable – indeed, even expected – that we rely on him for protection.
http://tinyurl.com/2vhgbkn
Well that’s a supermassive excellent win.
*moves Jazz to “Kill When I Get Around to It” list*
>> I have no idea of what that means, but perhaps bathing is in order.
Ah, you likely don’t know what it means then.
BTW, I’m about through season 1 of Justified.. really enjoying it. Incidentally, Elmore Leonard isn’t really writing any of the shows, he does get a writer credit (also executive producer) for the story “Fire in the Hole”, which it’s based on (the characters anyhow).
Schadenfruede, The Atlantic Monthly, and Ken Starr! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!
http://tinyurl.com/3agvuo6
In other news, Joe Biden’s granddaughter looked in while he was shaving and asked, “Did you get new plugs yet, grandpa?”
Rosie, I’m waiting with baited breath for the yaks you’re showing in today’s BBF Livestock Show.
What was nice, jazz. We had to watch it four times here.
Dave, that tube top makes you look fat.
What was nice, jazz. We had to watch it four times here.
The smile on the kid’s face is amazing. I love babies (that sleep through the night). Too bad they have to grow up!
My BBF models are all blue ribbon winners at 4H, Jazz, you cock.
>> Dave, that tube top makes you look fat.
You know, I think you’re right. Bastard.
*returns it to Mrs. Rosetta
3H tops.
HA!!! The director’s cut* of the Chris Christie beat down of the whiny union bitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuri7p_9pm4
* director’s cut joke stolen from Allahpoondit
*draws up plans for Jazz-Dave-Scott human centipede*
I should start every day watching that, Rosie.
How David Kernell hacked Sarah Palin’s e-mail: http://tinyurl.com/38oelvj
The article minimizes the crime, IMHO, but the recitation of events is interesting.
HA!!! The director’s cut* of the Chris Christie beat down of the whiny union bitch.
Dude, that’s so three hours ago.
*draws up plans for Jazz-Dave-Scott human centipede*
Sill Rosetta put the ass in the middle. (just kidding, Dave. You know I love you with the burning passion of a thousand black holes)
Good morning, hole pluggers.
I should start every day watching that, Rosie.
The Jazz-Dave-Scott human centipede?
*sneaks up behind Rosebutt and gives him a nurple
http://tinyurl.com/33jo77p
I should start every day watching that, Rosie.
I agree, Car In. If that doesn’t make you feel good, you’re already dead.
I love stuff like that.
compos goes to prom.
http://tinyurl.com/33jo77p
I wonder if anyone has ever made a goat-cat-monkey-dog centipede.
They tried it with bearsharktopus, and look how that turned out.
I solemnly swear that I will never buy union weed.
(forget for a moment that I’d never buy it in the first place and pretend I’m taking a principled stand)
Worst movie ever:
Janet Reno-Elena Kagan-Helen Thomas-Madeleine Albright-Janet Napolitano centipede.
You left out Hillary Clinton.
You know I love you with the burning passion of a thousand black holes
It warms my skeevy black heart.
Rosie, the idea of all of those women being forced to consume each other’s excrement wouldn’t make it a bad movie, it would just make the doctor a noble and brilliant protagonist.
“I wonder if anyone has ever made a goat-cat-monkey-dog centipede.”
Yes, but I’m not allowed to talk about it.
Zombie’s got another good photo-dealo.
Hahahahaha. I love bearsharktopus.
You know what would be a good James Bond movie?
Bearsharktopussy.
You know, Hillary’s looking … not good. I mean, she never was a looker, but she looks down-right unhealthy now.
Rosie, the idea of all of those women being forced to consume each other’s excrement wouldn’t make it a bad movie, it would just make the doctor a noble and brilliant protagonist.
Hahahahahahaha.
Is there anything more existential than mouth-to-anus power lesbians?
I think not.
Car in, I suspect it’s far too many years of cognitive dissonance combined with too many “healthy” meals prepared for her by other people.
Hillary used to be hot.
http://tinyurl.com/y8felpw
At least her pants don’t look like an awning.
Hillary has hit several walls.
My BBF models are all blue ribbon winners at 4H
Let’s see . . .
Humongous Hermaphroditic Hell Hounds?
You know what would be a good James Bond movie?
You know what would be a good TV show?
BJ & The Bearsharktopus
Where did all of the queers come from?
BJ & The Bearsharktopus
I actually laughed at that. Someone shoot me in the face with a bazooka.
Humongous Hermaphroditic Hell Hounds?
+ 9 points and an uncomfortable foot job from Car In.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/existentialist-firefighter-delays-3-deaths,17500/
Where did all of the queers come from?
Climbed out of yer ass after a week-long spelunking expedition?
BJ & The Bearsharktopus
Hahahahahahahaha.
brb
My BBF models are all blue ribbon winners at 4H
In the “Ruminants, 2000 lbs & Over” division.
I don’t get the ‘hermaphroditic’ part. The BBF models are a whole lotta woman, but I’m pretty sure they’re ‘all woman’. IYKWIMAITYD
Schadenfruede, The Atlantic Monthly, and Ken Starr! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!
http://tinyurl.com/3agvuo6
No not a ponzi scheme, instead……the REAL Kenneth Starr is the president of the university that my oldest daughter attends and he’s fucking me for about 13k per semester. But to be quite honest, they were fucking me for 13k per semester before he got there.
What’s the difference between compos being at the head of the human centipede, and Barack Obama plugging the hole?
The modern university system is pretty much a Ponzi scheme. The trick is that you never get to collect, only the U admin and profs.
Ya know what would make a great movie?
The Bad News Bearsharktopi Go To Japan
I’m going to the grocery to see the Marines! They’re handing out free flags for Memorial Day. FUCK YEAH!
You know what would be a great cartoon?
Yogi Bearsharktopus
You know what would be a great song?
The Bearsharktopus Necessities
Best post update ever.
Heartwarming family cartoon:
The Berenstein Bearsharktopi
I’d tend to agree Leon, but the job opportunities for females w/o a bachelors degree are extremely limited in this part of the country. At least the job opportunities for females that pay enough to support yourself. The rest of my life will be somewhat less worrisome if I know my daughter has the credentials to work in some area of the medical field for $25+ per hour as opposed to secretarying or clerking for $8.00 per hour.
PG, I get that. I’m sorta hoping the system collapses by the time I have a college-age kid and I can send them to get a real education.
What’s the difference between compos being at the head of the human centipede, and Barack Obama plugging the hole?
Malia doesn’t ask daddy if compos is at the head of the human centipede?
The BBF models are a whole lotta woman, but I’m pretty sure they’re ‘all woman’. IYKWIMAITYD
Are you fucking BLIND? Did you see last weeks submission? It was a man, baby! “Her” adams apple was almost as big as her left nut.
Best post update ever.
Hahahahaha. Somehow that’s not the scale I had imagined for the bearsharktopus. Must be a … cub?
Ya know what would make for a great kid’s show?
Bearsharktopus in the Big Blue House
Best post update ever.
Hahahahahahah!
Best post update ever.
I continue to be amazed by your incredible photoshopping skills……
You know what would be a good name for a band OR most of Rosetta’s BBF submissions?
Bearsharktopus Naked Ladies.
Are you fucking BLIND? Did you see last weeks submission? It was a man, baby! “Her” adams apple was almost as big as her left nut.
True dat.
This is a Bearsharktopus Market.
Two days in a row I’m captivated by Jazz. First, by his grandmother’s emotional abuse, and now because those links are all kickass.
I’m blogging this shit RIGHT NOW.
Got to give the spammers of the world a new AOSHQ thread to infest.
It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!!eleventy11!!
*which doesn’t mean a fucking thing if you don’t have a job*
Hahahahaha. Somehow that’s not the scale I had imagined for the bearsharktopus. Must be a … cub?
Hey…this isn’t a Photoshop clinic.
Goldilocks and the Three Bearsharktopi
This time she doesn’t escape.
You know what would be a good kids’ book?
Paddington Bearsharktopus
I continue to be amazed by your incredible photoshopping skills……
Two words: Video Professor.
You know who’d be a good football coach?
Bearsharktopus Bryant.
I have the day off, so I’m trying to optimally plan my day around my weight training. Gotta head out and do that soon.
Ya now what would be a cool football team?
The Chicago Bearsharktopi
I have the day off, so I’m trying to optimally plan my day around my
weight trainingdrinking bath tub gin and viewing gay Bearsharktopus pR0n. Gotta head out and do that soon.FixedthatfoLeon
In a couple of years when every working person has to support one retiree, I pick MCPO.
What about me?
The Chicago Bearsharktopi
You do realize that this isn’t going to go anywhere?
Ya know what would be awesome toys for infants?
Care Bearsharktopi
You do realize that this isn’t going to go anywhere?
Yeah, but I’m bored.
This seems appropriate for the tone of the comments this morning:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuYFPyeWuig
If you haven’t watched Bill Whittle’s interview with Sam Cohen (father of the neutron bomb), you really should.
You know what’s a good fruit?
Pearsharktopus.
“Hillary used to be hot. http://tinyurl.com/y8felpw At least her pants don’t look like an awning.”
I bet every lezzbeun at Smith has this photo/poster on their dorm room walls.
Rosetta – How many toes have you got after pressure washing your deck?
Ya know what would make a cool horror flick?
Werebearsharktopus.
Morons, hostages, we have our candidate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWgT5yB8ZJQ.
REALLY scaring the shit out of little children since March 2009.
Bugbearsharktopus.
Rosetta – How many toes have you got after pressure washing your deck?
14.
He said toes, not anal warts.
He said toes, not anal warts.
Don’t call wiserbud an anal wart.
What are you barbequeing this weekend, Rosetta?
Don’t call wiserbud an anal wart.
….and yet, people still think you are witty.
boggles my mind.
JENGA!!!!!!
Y aknow what would be a truly disturbing toy for an infant?
a Care Werebearsharktopus.
What are you barbequeing this weekend, Rosetta?
Nutria stuffed tapir.
Mare’s new Delta name is Maresharktopus.
I bet nutria is delicious.
I wonder is nutria is good for you.
If it’s not then someone should sue because nutria sounds like it would be good for you.
I wonder is nutria is good for you.
It’s a free-living mammal that doesn’t eat garbage. I don’t see how it could be bad for you.
I have a feeling that today’s BBF is going to be the worst ever.
I just remembered I don’t have one of the bestest Cult tunes on my iPod. Must remedy.
Gym time.
>> I have a feeling that today’s BBF is going to be the worst ever.
*sudden sense of fear and revulsion
Here’s a cover of that song.
Reviews?
I like the hard sound of the guitars, drums, etc. But the singer is no Ian Astbury.
Gym time already?
I’m more of an afternoon person.
today’s my long run day.
Even the fake Ronald Reagan kicked ass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skQuhoG7fFM
“Reviews?”
The original was better … of course that’s not saying much.
*Runs from room before Carin grabs that purple thing from her bookshelf and throws it in a fit on wanton anger.*
[put’s clint on “the list.”]
>> “Reviews?”
Sherlock Holmes was visually interesting but a bit of a letdown.
Great James Bond film?
Bearsharktopussy.
LauraW – A day late and a dollar short.
Bearsharktopussy.
Late to the party again.
Great James Bond film?
Bearsharktopussy.
You owe me $15,000.
*tackles lauraw, tattoos “Bearsharktopussy” on her forehead*
Two days in a row I’m captivated by Jazz. First, by his grandmother’s emotional abuse, and now because those links are all kickass.
laura, you make my pants fit tight.
>> “Reviews?”
Sherlock HolmesDave in Texas was visually interesting but a bit of a letdown.There you go.
http://tinyurl.com/332cfxl
Great James Bond film?
Shaving Ryan’s Bearsharktopussy.
I have a feeling that today’s BBF is going to be the worst ever.
That’s promising. At least there’s a chance she can weigh herself somewhere other than an I-55 weigh-station.
Great Burt Reynolds movie?
Smokey and the Bearsharktopus
I got to get supplies. . .
SUPPLIES!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CO7FPU7a2g&feature=related
Oops. OK. I fix.
Great James Bond Film?
A View To A Bearsharktopus Kill
If you want something ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL to start your day – and I mean that sincerely – this is priceless. I would bet you’ll remember it all day long.
http://tinyurl.com/2vhgbkn
Jazz, I felt the same way when it was clear that the ear surgery for my youngest sone worked.
That band kicks poon, Chief! Bwahahahahaha!
SUPPLIES!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuQsvP6XHzM
BP Attempts to Plug Hole with Junk Shot
the jokes, they write themselves
I have a feeling that today’s BBF is going to be the worst ever.
worse than last week?
Dave in College:
BP Attempts to Plug Hole with Junk Shot
Jazz, I felt the same way when it was clear that the ear surgery for my youngest sone worked.
What a tremendously moving experience that had to have been. Hell, I’m moved that you had to go through it and that it worked, and I wasn’t even there..
http://tinyurl.com/32xfhvk
l to r: me, MCPO, Rosetta
>>the jokes, they write themselves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq9993iJlYU
Crisis Managment, Hostage Style:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx8kMXufu3w&feature=player_embedded
my boss just saved me from a roach the size of my wiener dog YUCK!
Dave, I forgot to tell you who else I saw in Dallas this week:
http://bit.ly/bj7paB
Thank you Rosetta for posting that Chisty thing.
I’d heard about it but hadn’t yet seen it.
ok this made me laugh. Just stick with it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgjIrtCBpdA
Andy, that’s cool.
BTW, ChrisP is my new favorite Hostage, second only to me, who really is my most favoitest Hostage of all. The nice things he said about Anita last night should make all you reprobates ashamed of the way you treat your spouses. Beyond that, he’s a nice guy, not like you turds.
*kicks jazz in the poon
Today’s Mexican Word Of The Day is TENNESSEE: “Our boss has the TENNESSEE to yell at us when we drink beer on our lunch break.”
Now I have to go see what ChrisP did while unsupervised.
>>Just stick with it.
A 6+ minute video? It better be the funniest thing ever.
Today’s Mexican Word Of The Day is ANTIQUES: “We wanted to keep the stray dog that came into our yard but it had too many fleas ANTIQUES.”
A 6+ minute video? It better be the funniest thing ever.
oh um. well, it made me laugh anyways. that might not be saying much
Long story:
When my daughter was sixteen she got an ear infection while swimming. She was prone to them as a child.
It got so painful that I took her to the hospital. After she was taken in for examination, the doctor came out to the waiting room and sat next to me. He asked me If I knew my daughter had no eardrum in her left ear, and only about 30% intact in her right ear. I had no idea.
He had me take her to a specialist, who after examining her, sent her across the hall to have her hearing tested. Result, 90% hearing loss in left ear, 70% hearing loss in right ear. He also told us that her stapes bone was totally eroded away in the left ear. Diagnosis: socially deaf.
Now this child was a straight A student. The doc asked her how she could hear, and she said “I don’t know, I just can.” He said, “You sit in the front row don’t you?” T which she replied that she indeed did.
Anyway, She underwent ta long operation. First, he replaced the stapes bone with silver wire. Then reconstructed the eardrum with a skin graft from that little doohickey next to the ear opening.
He was going to wait until that healed then do the right ear, but he got enough skin to be able to do it all at once.
When the bandages came out he tested her again. Left ear went from 90% hearing loss to 80% normal. Right ear was restored to 95% normal.
Two weeks later I took her to get her driver’s license. She failed the eye test, and I had to take her to an eye doctor. She needed glasses.
Hotspur: “Father of the Year 1987”
A 6+ minute video? It better be the funniest thing ever.
It was pretty funny, though I did fast-forward through a couple of minutes.
Long story:
Nice comment, BiW. Wait…what?
Now I have to go see what ChrisP did while unsupervised.
He was very sweet to you. Seriously, he made some really nice comments. I don’t know as I’ve ever exchanged a comment with him, but he’s aces in my book on those comments alone.
They were having a Rangers Foundation fundraiser on Sunday at the hotel I was staying at. I had just checked in and was walking to the room when all of a sudden … there’s Nolan Fucking Ryan!
I tried to find the video of him kicking Robin Ventura’s ass but MLB seems to have expunged it from the Interwebz.
Two weeks later I took her to get her driver’s license. She failed the eye test, and I had to take her to an eye doctor. She needed glasses.
I hope you didn’t take her to her OB-GYN appointment…….
Hotspur: “Father of the Year 1987″
Holy shit. I’ve been blaming Chief for that mothballs-and-beef-barley-soup odor.
I mean one worthy of linking anyway. I found a couple of crappy versions.
He was very sweet to you.
And he’s probably the oldest “crotchity old guy” here.
BWahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!
http://tinyurl.com/3x488yw
*kicks jazz in the poon
You should have been a Rockette, Peej. 🙂
Hotspur – when I was young I had HORRIBLE hearing. People got so sick of my “WHAT?” that they just stopped talking to me.
Lots of ear infection, what not. Your daughter must have been a heck of a lot better at lip reading than I.
People got so sick of my “WHAT?” that they just stopped talking to me.
That explains a lot right there.
I keed … I keed.
It was pretty funny, though I did fast-forward through a couple of minutes.
I think it’s because I thought he was used to eating it and could handle it. His disgust is what tickled me.
Who’s fomenting a race war?
Notice the ostentatious use of “Esq.” after his name, as if his stature as an attorney is going to lend any weight at all to his NBP cred. Insecure, hate-filled racist. And we have to tolerate this shit? If the answer is “yes,” don’t bitch at me for quoting Kipling.
Interesting read on the Deepwater Horizon from today’s WSJ: http://bit.ly/bTN3kT
[adds Andy to “the list”]
She was kinda hard of hearing. We used to joke and call her “deaf girl.” We thought it was an attention thing – like she would just SPACE OUT. But let the phone in the kitchen ring, and she’d be down from her bedroom in a flash.
Heh, when we walked out of the eye doctor’s with her new glasses it was on Main Street downtown, and she’s going “Main Street, handicapped, no parking, pedestrian!!!! Daddy, I can read the signs!!!”
[adds Andy to “the list”]
It’s more like a directory now, isn’t it? Lengthwise, I mean.
Interesting blog post on the arrogance of American Liberals. The author calls it gringo arrogance,but he really means liberal arrogance, because conservatives would agree with him. I think.
http://bierceannals.blogspot.com/2010/05/gringo-arrogance.html
It’s very similar to what I believe is liberal racism toward the blacks and Hispanics in this country. Not smart enough or good enough to do it on your own, so we will do it for you.
It’s such a racist outlook.
I resemble that remark 😛
More and more each day I think. I’m quite fond of the zoom control at the bottom of many newer applications.
That’s good, Uni.
“Today’s Mexican Word Of The Day is ANTIQUES: “We wanted to keep the stray dog that came into our yard but it had too many fleas ANTIQUES.””
hahahahahahahah
Bluegrass cover of Snoop Diggety Dogg’s “Gin & Juice”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4hGSR5njZE
Daddy’s fingers.
Hotspur’s daughter was deaf and blind until age sixteen and he didn’t know….hahahahahahahahaa
This thread is already hilarious.
For a sec, I though Sohos said her boss saved her from a cockroach the size of her wiener.
Gotta run – things to do before we leave for the weekend.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend everyone. Take a moment to honor our fallen troops, THEN fire up the BBQ!
Jazz, dance a jig on the old biddy’s grave after everybody leaves. Any chance you could slip an egg into her coffin? “Eternal rest” starting off with a rotten egg would be fitting.
Oh – and STFU!
“I hope you didn’t take her to her OB-GYN appointment…….”
Crap……My mascara is running from laughing.
Rosetta’s photoshopping skills are amazing.
Rita Wilson, the teacher who tried to put Chris Christie on the spot about teacher compensation, makes a shit-ton more money than the $83k a year she was pretending she DIDN’T make. Her base salary is over $86k a year, and benefits and salary increase that, even.
http://tinyurl.com/35w34er
Jazz, that link of Jonathan hearing for the first time may be the best video EVER (next to SOS cat, and the swinging cat linked earlier).
Bluegrass cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcMXCdJp2ZI
Downstairs vacuumed and dusted – check
Supplies – check
Picnic ham scored, garlic inserted and wrapped in the fridge – check
Self-administered haircut – check
Is it beer o’clock yet?
Jazz, that link of Jonathan hearing for the first time may be the best video EVER (next to SOS cat, and the swinging cat linked earlier).
What about the self-defense baby?
Holy shit, Jazz. That is RICH! Fucking scrunt is a lying sack of shit. This is what passes for teachers in 2010.
I hope you didn’t take her to her OB-GYN appointment…….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I was one the phone with my sister and had to read that one to her.
This is what passes for
teacherscitizens in 2010.FTFY. Remember the fake doctors during the Obamacare town halls? Remember the union thugs lying about who egged the Tea Party Express bus in that Breitbart video? The fucking libs are lying sacks of shit. My lib sister included.
PJM – Why does Kare-kare hate us so?
Here’s a great anecdote on liberal paternalism for you. In Massachusetts we have a law that required the little hold-open clip on gas pump nozzles to be removed due to fires caused by getting in and out of your car while gas was being pumped resulting in static electricity leading to the gas being ignited when you replace the pump handle.
It appears to be based on this study: http://www.accidentreconstruction.com/newsletter/jul02/gaspump2.asp
A couple of points:
1) Note that there were a grant total of 81 incidents suspected to be caused by static. Of these, only 29 occurred after the car had been reentered while fueling. Nowhere are these incidents expressed as a percentage of the number of refueling events, mainly because it would be infinitesimally small.
2) Note that a significant portion of these occurred when the fuel cap was removed, which makes sense because there’s a lot of vapor in a nearly-empty fuel tank. In a freshly-filled tank, not so much. If we really want to do something good For The Children(tm), we should make it illegal to drive on less than 3/4 of a tank (better not say this too loudly).
So because of this essentially non-existent problem, every other Massachusetts driver and I are forced to freeze our asses off in the winter while standing there holding the fucking gas nozzle. Well, actually we just use the gas cap to jam it open and go right back and sit in our cars.
Massachusetts likes to brag about having a great education system and standardized test scores, yet we’re apparently not smart enough to pump gas. Thanks, nanny gubmint.
* This thought occurred to me as “Reason why Texas > Mass #3,297,458” when I was was refueling my rental car at DFW yesterday – using the hold-open clip *
The best part about that teacher?
Yeah, she makes $86,000 a year. Gets her benefits paid, but who the fuck else gets about 2 1/2 months off every summer, two weeks in winter and two weeks in spring?
Well, actually we just use the gas cap to jam it open and go right back and sit in our cars.
You have it lucky. The law in Michigan says you may not reenter the car while fueling. You must be attendant at all times.
but who the fuck else gets about 2 1/2 months off every summer, two weeks in winter and two weeks in spring?
TOTUS
oh come on. I remember in Oregon you’re not even allowed to TOUCH the gas nozzle
douche nozzle
You people are seriously long-winded today.
Andy, just wedge your wallet in there.
PJM, what did you have done at the salon?
You have it lucky. The law in Michigan says you may not reenter the car while fueling. You must be attendant at all times.
Oh it says the same thing here. It also says you can’t go faster than 55 mph on the Mass Pike.
You people are seriously long-winded today.
I swear it didn’t look that long. That fucking comment was longer than most of my poats.
* cuts self *
Andy, just wedge your wallet in there.
Hahahaha. Cut to the chase in other words.
Well, we still have the little hold open devices, so at least you can play pocket pool while fueling.
PJM, what did you have done at the salon?
She died my whole head one reddish color. Then she put blonde and brown highlights in. Lip and eyebrow wax and pedicure.
I have a crapload of hair even though it’s short so it takes FOREVER to put hightlights in. Plus all the time you have to sit there and let the color hang on your head.
Carin, did you see the “Woman sues airline” post at Ace?
*goes and gets Carin’s blood pressure medicine*
Wow, nice make-over. We need a picture of the hair color.
“dyed” duh
oh you know what?
hahaha, I just took a picture with my cell phone. I’ll upload it just a sec.
Remember, this is my natural color
I have used my wallet, coffee cup, ice scraper and probably a beer can once or twice.
Standing there holding the pump is for suckers.
A good invention would a clip that fits on your key chain.
Self defense lessons from a carnie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM1CFifa3ng
Are you packed yet? I have a lot done but every time I turn around there is another closet to pack.
hahaha, I just took a picture with my cell phone. I’ll upload it just a sec.
I’m giddy with anticipation………
I sometimes think being a teacher would be great….because I think I would enjoy teaching, not for the pay.
It’s kind of a nice job.
Those who complain should have gone into something else.
Mutherfuckas!
“Remember, this is my natural color”
I love PJM.
I heard it on the newz. Idiot. Feiger such a pustule on the ass of humanity.
I’ve watched that Jonathan video 5 times…..it’s so sweet.
Why is there a huge gap in our archives? They skip from Sept of 08 to March of 09.
I’ve watched that Jonathan video 5 times…..it’s so sweet.
His smile is precious. If that video doesn’t make you smile, you have a heart of stone.
Gym time already?
I’m more of an afternoon person.
I lift after a 16 hour fast, then get my first meal immediately afterward, so earlier is easier. I normally hit the gym from 1030-1130.
Why is there a huge gap in our archives? They skip from Sept of 08 to March of 09.
H2 started as a joke in Sept 08, then was left unused, until we all moved here due to some unpleasantness at H1 in March 2009.
Feiger such a pustule on the ass of humanity.
Truer words? Rarely strung into a sentence.
Teaching can be great, however being around teachers, not so great. Truly one of the reasons I don’t teach anymore.
Whiny. If you know your stuff teaching can be easy. If you have horrible kids and no support from the administration it can be a nightmare. Hours are good, the pay is good, holidays, weekends and summers off.
Mare, get your shit packed!
“due to some unpleasentness at H1.”
HA! Good one.
I have considered getting a teaching cert and trying to teach math/science at the high school level if this whole engineering career doesn’t pan out. I’d want to do it at a charter school, though, and I’m pretty sure some serious austerity would go along with that lifestyle.
Fun huh?
Thanks Hotspur…I’m going to pack three pictures right now.
Fun huh?
Did you dye the hair on your head also?
That looks fantastic and your hair looks really soft.
PJM, should I share or not share what I thought of when I saw that picture?
If that video doesn’t make you smile, you have a heart of stone.
screw the little bastard.
Are you packed yet? I have a lot done but every time I turn around there is another closet to pack.
Same here. Plus there’s a delay in my brother closing escrow. It took the bank almost 30 days to decide they don’t want to finance the house because the garage conversion wasn’t permitted. Why so long?
Now they have to shop for a new loan. Either way I get in the new house by August 1st, but it would be nice if it happens sooner.
Leon, me too.
LIke I care?
Go ahead and share.
we all moved here due to some unpleasantness at H1 in March 2009.
True story.
I knew that. I guess I just didn’t realize that the site was unused. Or whatever. Things got sketchy at H1 and that’s when I kind of withdrew. And then Peej emailed me about this place, so I came back. Thank Peej.
It’s a man’s-eye-view of a beejer, babe.
Thank Peej.
Yet one more thing I owe her for……
It’s a man’s-eye-view of a beejer, babe.
close, except Rosetta is bald.
What?
Yet one more thing I owe her for……
somehow I’m not feeling the love.
Madeleine is deciding whether she should be The President when she grows up, or a hairdresser.
It’s a man’s-eye-view of a beejer, babe.
I haven’t had that view so I really can’t get it.
*skips off to find mirror
Fun huh?
Perspective says everything, and that one says your initials are BJM. 😛
It’s a man’s-eye-view of a beejer, babe.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Amazing how leon and I have the same thought. . . .
Madeleine is deciding whether she should be The President when she grows up, or a hairdresser.
Encourage the hairdresser route. Lowered expectations are good for children.
Damn, how many strategy sessions did they need in The Situation Room to concoct that load of horse crap?
There’s something to be said for achievable goals.
what’s BJM mean?
Encourage the hairdresser route. Lowered expectations are good for children.
hahaha, good idea.
It’s a play on your initials, Peej. Blowjob Momma.
PJM
BJM
teh funny
Now is when you laugh…..
what’s BJM mean?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Why didn’t you bleach it blonde?
HA! Like becoming/being President is hard. Look at the slacker we have there now. I’ve done more than that douche ever will.
How on earth was I supposed to know that?
Mare, that took a lot of coordinated evil to accomplish. The cohort of people that want Madeleine to be president (us) doesn’t have that kind of juice.
BJM, I knew, and no one had to tell me.
I was trying to work BJM into Bowel J-something Movement
No where in my mind did I figure Blow Job Momma
I’m disappointed in myself.
what’s BJM mean?
kinda ‘splains why she has 13 kids, huh?
So none of you fuckers are going to ask if the carpet matches the drapes, huh?
So none of you fuckers are going to ask if the carpet matches the drapes, huh?
*cough
Comment by wiserbud on May 28, 2010 1:40 pm
Fun huh?
Did you dye the hair on your head also?
Dance with me!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9WoaBt8FH8&feature=related
Yes, I agree, Leon, but he didn’t do any of it. He’s a true “empty suit.” He’s not smart enough or driven enough to get it done. It was orchestrated. He was a “clean looking” black guy in the right market, Chicago.
He gives one speech off a teleprompter and everyone goes apeshit because he’s black. (Exactly what Uni was referring to, why was everyone going nuts because a black guy gave a speech? Lots of them can)
Get him off teleprompter and he’s a complete boob. Continually says dumb stuff and crazy off putting stuff, “wee weed up.” Moron.
PJM starring in “1 Girl, 1 D’uhhhhhhh…..”
Did you dye the hair on your head also?
hahaha, you guys SUCK!! maybe if I was as perverted as you guys I would have understood.
man I hate myself
Why didn’t I get it?
So not hostage material today
ok, I have to go do crap
He plugged the hole. Gotta give him that.
ok, I have to go do crap
interesting choice of words, coming right after my comment as it did…..
He plugged the hole. Gotta give him that.
Are you referring to Michelle? Because the oil is still leaking.
My sense is that nothing Ogabe did or didn’t do would have changed BP’s response.
He’s on the hook for Louisiana, though.
It’s a man’s-eye-view of a beejer, babe.
Perspective says everything, and that one says your initials are BJM.
what’s BJM mean?
PJ, I luv you.
Are you referring to Michelle?
No, he let her sleep in.
PJ, I luv you.
That’s really impressive, considering she just admitted she had no idea what a BJ was.
PJ? http://tinyurl.com/32qkzlu
These are some of the funnier photobombs, look at the girl with the corndog…hahahahahaa
http://thechive.com/2010/05/28/its-friday-you-could-use-some-photobombs-25-photos-2/
I was told I could find the Two Girls, One Cup video here.
Try here:
http://tinyurl.com/2977un
Did you dye the hair on your head also?
Heh. Missed that.
You do not disappoint, my friend.
Try here:
http://tinyurl.com/2977un
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHA!!!!
The Baby Jesus won’t be ignored….
http://tinyurl.com/36w696q
I liked that one too. The cat one made me laugh also.
Where’s Rosetta, and where is Big Skank Friday™?
Where’s Rosetta, and where is Big Skank Friday™?
Rosetta’s probably trying to figure how to embezzle more money from his clients and PJM just left.
“Rosetta’s probably trying to figure how to embezzle more money from his clients”
hahahahahahahaah….Do I sense bitterness here, Wiser?
You do not disappoint, my friend.
never fail to swing at the slow pitches…..
hahahahahahahaah….Do I sense bitterness here, Wiser?
Who, me?
naaaaaaaaaaah.
Wiser, have you been fired yet, and have you determined the appropriate F-off when you leave?
You work for douches.
You work for douches.
Surprisingly, the one guy who was sooooooo insistant that I be fired hasn’t bothered to come to the office all week. So I’m left here to wonder what the hell is going on. And send out resumes. But mostly send out resumes.
Hate thieves? Like revenge? Enjoy.
http://throwtheball.blogspot.com/2010/05/brilliant_27.html
When I was in Spain, we would have huge roof top parties. Sangria and Yucca Flats would be mixed in new, galvanized trash cans. Everyone would bring their guitars and hawt Spanish chicks. Man, did we have some fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Usxz6d2EJRY&feature=related
I liked your video, MCPO.
BREAKTHROUGH!
Jazz – Sweet! I just wish they had time to put the boot in!
Thank you, Mare. Wish you had been at the parties. You would have enjoyed them, I’m sure.
When I was in Spain, we would have huge roof top parties. Sangria and Yucca Flats would be mixed in new, galvanized trash cans. Everyone would bring their guitars and hawt Spanish chicks.
Well, I’ve never been to Spain, but I kinda like the music. They say the ladies are insane there, and they sure know how to use it. They don’t abuse it, can’t refuse it, ain’t never gonna lose it.
irobotess, we all feel you should use this theme music to announce yourself every time you entered the room, okay?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgJA7lPkb1o&feature=related
It sounds fantastic, MCPO.
I hardly spoke any English for 2.5 years. I even dreamed in Spanish.
Heh.. http://www.break.com/index/ben-loves-lasagna-but-cant-say-it.html
S-o-o-o, Clinton and Hussein Obama cook up a lame story about the bribery and Sestak goes along with it.
*raise arm above his head to save his watch from the bullshit tsunami*
Yeah, like you can believe anything “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” says
Okay. Off for family duties. Later, ‘gators.
Later, Jazz.
“Just because he is a convicted perjurer who lost his law license is no reason to think he is lying.” – NBC/PBS/CNN/ABC/MSNBC/CBS/NYT/WaPo
heh – Never again, huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVehAAwh0gY
Holy shit, Gary Coleman’s dead.
I guess that makes Todd Bridges the last surviving cast member.
“heh – Never again, huh? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVehAAwh0gY ”
I wonder why Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Michael Moore and all those other publicity whoring lefties aren’t down in LA. raising hell about the guvments’ lack of action on this disaster?
I hardly spoke any English for 2.5 years. I even dreamed in Spanish.
Yeah…I had some interesting dreams in Russian for a while.
Afternoon, Hostagefolks.
I’m really getting tired of hearing about the Sestak family today:
http://is.gd/cto5u
Cuffy, Mr. Ember and I have been making that samej oke all week. *giggle*
Holy shit, Gary Coleman’s dead.
wow. Not that I’m surprised, but damn, I hope he finds more happiness int he afterlife than he ever seemd to find on Earth.
Prepare yourselves for the non-stop “suffering of the child stars” reports for the next week.
I wonder why Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Michael Moore and all those other publicity whoring lefties aren’t down in LA. raising hell about the guvments’ lack of action on this disaster?
You are a silly person.
still no bbf?
Good heavens, I didn’t even notice! I’m relying on BBF and HHD to keep me on track of what day it is. Stupid funemployment.
still no bbf?
You’re here…..
still no bbf?
You’re here…..
The Original and Best. Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing, Baby.
Man, what a collection of train wreck:
Coleman’s death marks another sad chapter for the Diff’rent Strokes cast, as Bridges’ career was stunted by frequent drug incidents, while Dana Plato, who played Kimberly Drummond on the show, committed suicide via pill overdose in 1999. On a related note, Plato’s son, Tyler Lambert, fatally shot himself in May 2010, nearly eleven years to the day of his mother’s suicide.
I just made a sammich. I am so proud of me!
I just made a sammich.
PB&J??
Gary Coleman died here in Utah. Strange.
Out of all the celebrities I thought would come to Utah to die, he was not on the list.
“PB&J??”
Roast beef and swiss with lettuce, peppercinnis, and mustard on honey wheat. Yum.
PB&J??
What does that mean?
I made curried chicken in coconut milk for lunch. Ended up with way too much sauce, but I saved it for the country ribs I’m making Sunday.
Coleman’s death marks another sad chapter for the Diff’rent Strokes cast, as Bridges’ career was stunted by frequent drug incidents, while Dana Plato, who played Kimberly Drummond on the show, committed suicide via pill overdose in 1999. On a related note, Plato’s son, Tyler Lambert, fatally shot himself in May 2010, nearly eleven years to the day of his mother’s suicide.
Sounds like the “Curse of Stroking” manifested itself.
Has it really been 11 years since Dana Plato dies? Wow.
He had a part in a Mormon Movie out here called “Church Ball”.
Mormons love to play basketball.
He married a local white girl who seemed a little slow, but sweet.
I told you guys the story of when Dana Plato hit on my wife, right?
Tell us again, Uni.
With pics of your wife, this time.
Uni, aren’t we supposed to tell you to get back to fucking work?
We were at a party in Vegas for a magazine, in an art gallery on the strip. She was kind of a celebrity for hire in Vegas who would show up to events if you paid her and one of the owners of the magazine knew her really well. It was before she went completely off the deep end. She zeroed in on my wife like a fucking hound dog, wouldn’t leave her alone. Kept trying to chat her up and get her alone, wouldn’t stop staring at us. It made my wife very very uncomfortable. She flirted with my wife like a guy would, it was strange. We finally left and had a great laugh about it, still do.
At the time I was repulsed by her, she looked so skanky and druggy, but nowhere near as gone as she later looked.
I love the hostage mens
Right, thanks Sky, will do. The problem is no one else is working today, three day weekend and all.
_____
Back to Dana Plato, one vivid memory about that night. All the guests were supposed to stand in this spot to get our picture taken for this fake “society” page deal. While we were standing there getting our picture taken, Dana Plato popped up behind the photographer. It was the first time I noticed her there but the image now reminds me of that groundhog that made the rounds on the internet. Her mug just popped up behind the photographer and she was fixated on my wife. It was actually kind of funny but when it happened I thought, “What the fuck! That’s Dana Plato, and she’s staring at my wife!”.
Back to work.
Uni, get the fuck back to work!
So I’m on my way to madeleine’s Catholic school and it finally dawned on me what you guys meant about my picture!
I almost wrecked the car!!!!
It’s the view like I personally was giving someone a bj.
When he spelled it beejay I just thought he was doing a weird spelling of vajayjay and i couldn’t figure out why hair looked like a woman’s crotch. I thought man i like my hair and they think it looks a vagina. They suck!
“Right, thanks Sky, will do. The problem is no one else is working today, three day weekend and all.”
Right. Forgot it was just about Memorial Day weekend. Kick your feet up. Have a beer.
Back to Dana Plato,
That story sounds like more like it belongs at IB than here.
Right, thanks Sky, will do. The problem is no one else is working today, three day weekend and all.
I’m at work, on this rainy, rainy day, and you need to get back to work, Uni.
PJM,
It’s called a POV shot.
Better late than never!
PJM, OMG.
So I’m on my way to madeleine’s Catholic school and it finally dawned on me what you guys meant about my picture!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
pjm is teh dense
SRSLY.
Yeah, but she’s our own BJM.
PJM is Sofa King!!
PJ didn’t get it because she’s as pure as the wind driven snow.
PJ didn’t get it because she’s as pure as the wind driven snow.
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight………
*cough*
But, srsly, PJ – you should try one out. Your husband might like it. Spice up the old marriage.
I’m so putting off that run. 8 miles. Ugh. Why did I say I was gonna do it?
FUCK.
And you won’t get pregnant.
Again.
They prevent cancer and encourage weight loss when given to husbands.
Plus, I hear it doesn’t cause throat cancer as long as you’re married.
But, srsly, PJ – you should try one out. Your husband might like it. Spice up the old marriage.
Just be sure to tell him not to use his teeth,
Ok. I’m going. Just imagine me miserable for the next 90 minutes.
They prevent cancer and encourage weight loss when given to husbands.
And black eyes too.
Or so I’ve heard.
Hostage Theater
Scene PJM driving down street to pick up Madelaine
PJM: ZOMG Gavin, it just dawned on me. BJM stand for Blow Job Momma. That’s what they meant. Now I get it.
Gavin: Momma, what’s a blow job?
fin
Looks like Boise State is joining the Mountain West Conference.
*imagines Carin miserable*
*imagines Car In sleeping with Hotspur*
*imagines wiserbud sleeping with Hotspur*
Waiting on hold…..
waiting
waiting
Ember Jr. just announced that she is changing her name to Flippy because she knows how to do flips. I asked her to show me. She said that she can’t teach her secrets to me.
Then, they won’t be secret.
*imagines wiserbud sleeping with Hotspur*
*Imagines Uniball on fire*
*imagines wiser diddling a goat*
*imagines uniball jerking off to the thought of anyone diddling a goat*
*plucks eyeballs from skull with a rusty spoon and pours boiling bleach directly into empty sockets in an attempt to burn that vision from my brain.*
*skull fucks wiser in freshly plucked and sterile eye sockets*
*blinks*
Find out who uploaded the image and you’ll know who posted it. Wasn’t me though.