Hola. That’s my attempt to be inclusive during immigration!!!1!!1!! week.
I wrote this song especially for this post. You’ll get it later.
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And now a joke…or not.
Mr and Mrs Obama were walking around downtown Chicago in early 2008. The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. Mr Obama, confused by the sound asked his intellectually gifted wife what the buzzer was for. Mrs Obama replied that it was to notify blind people that the light was about to turn red. Mr Obama was appalled and asked, ‘What are blind people doing driving? That seems kind of dangerous.’ Mrs Obama contemplated, then replied, ‘Fairness, that’s why.’
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So this week’s model is a newbie born in the great state of Pennsylvania way back in 1988. Not much is known of her background, other than she likes to change her hair color a lot, which as the kids say these days, is the ‘bees knees.’ Now, before you get all pissy, I’ll answer in the affirmative, that yes, those puppies aren’t real. Given her smile, body, and penchant for thongs I decided to make an exception. Please welcome Alexis Sage!!!!!!!!!!
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Some shit happened today, but you already knew that, so…please to be enjoying LINKS OF STOOPID!!!!!!
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Only 4 years left!
Scottw is working a few prototypes for Operation Chicken Dome™.
Roamy: So how was your day? Mine was ok. Nothing special happened.
Jewstin is probably right about everything. It’s a trap!
Leon, dude. Just workout like a normal dwarf.
Do you like the links so far, Sylvester Stallone?
Dave has been busy at work lately keeping everyone on task.
Michael meets mare. True story.
Hey beasn! Hey Oso! What do you want to do to the EBT bitches?
Laura may have served the special coffee to her beaker shaped friends on accident. Maybe.
Xbrad is pretty good with his hands.
How we doin’ with the links of stoopid, Chuck?
Wiser’s furnace is working better these days…gobbling cash.
MCPO’s eyes seem to be healing well.
Carin’s customer. What happens in Car in’s head. What really happens. L to Right: Car in, customer’s food.
MJ has a very special message for you, but don’t tell anyone. Let’s let it ride for a bit and have some fun.
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Have a great weekend. We have a bunch of friends coming over for dinner so we’re making a spring rolls, a spicy butternut squash soup, roasted pork loin, and cilantro lime rice. I’ll post the recipes later if I’m not too hammered.
Update – via Car in, but from beasn, so blame her not me:
371 Comments
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Hottie.
She doesn’t suck MJ.
Well she might, I meant the other kind of
Never mind
I thought bewbs were for later?
Friday’s are for conference calls, which leaves me time to do real work, like BBF.
This was kinda cool for a swansong.
What’s MJ going to do on Friday’s for fun now?
My GOD it’s full of gifs.
It’s full of something.
And I used to make fun of Rosetta’s fat chicks.
Trudy did it.
I can’t watch utewbs from werk.
Did MJ finally come out of the
closetcupboard?For you techies out there, this is a fascinating article (and infuriating):
http://www.redmassgroup.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=16445
Via AOS and Legal Insurrection. Shows how far behind we are. And if you don’t think technology is a major force in political campaigns, then welcome to the minority for as far as the eye can see.
“Mrs Obama” (first link)
hahaha! that’s how i see her
i’m taking the day off & my vehicle is in the shop… is it too early to start drinking?
If the RNC would pay us, Jay and I could fix this muey pronto.
We need a big boy, leon. That’s what Harper Reed did for Narwhal, which is the backbone of the entire thing. Once the data is consolidated, writing apps is easy.
Here’s another article, an overview of OFA’s Chicago office.
Click to access Inside-the-Cave.pdf
I think one of the problems, beyond the technology, is that the RNC hasn’t accepted that rather than making broad statements, they need to target and lie to people individually.
They’ve found a group of voters that get their news from email. It’s pretty easy to lie to that person and ask them to vote.
I only read the first half of that article, but it made a lot of sense.
Also, it is depressing how much of the tech sector leans left. Romney hired and planned old school and got outgunned by the ponytail crowd.
Heh, well it’s true, techies are lefties. Even the Right leaning ones tend to stray to the Ron Paul wing of the party.
There are few GOPers in my IT office. The CEO is a big GOP supporter, and we see Chuck Grassley and Steve King in our office at least twice a year. John McCain had a presidential campaign event here in 2008.
Everything negative about TFG was immediately parsed and squashed by the MFM, any momentum for Romney was downplayed and squirreled away.
I think we could ‘lie’ to the voters, but we would never get away with it like that crowd does. The truth is what we need to get out. Disastrous economy, fumbling foreign policy, anti-job out of control regulations, credit rating, debt ceiling, fast and furious…these are all truths that are important to some of the people. We don’t have to lie, we have to find out what is important to whom, and get them to believe us without the filter of a bought and paid for media.
Do I see arrrreeeeeooOOOooolaaaa?!?
And her boots… WANT1!!
Nice work on teh bewbs and linkies, MJ.
The tech guys do tend to lean left, but I think that’s a malleable stance. The ZeroHedge and CalculatedRisk audience look at the whole establishment as laughably incompetent, but the right-leaners often express the sentiment that voting is basically pointless, and the left-leaners are voting to try and rein in a banking/financial sector that’s basically captured Treasury and the Fed.
Take the Ron/Rand Paul stance on those last two things and follow it through, and you can get the tech guys that’ve read some Hayek, or at least watched his epic rap battles.
I don’t think they outright lie, either. Lie by omission, sure. The important part is the communication. They contact more people. People like to be included. If we had that kind of communication (direct, not media), we win that last election handily.
That makes sense, but you’d need a massive media operation. That costs money.
The direct marketing lying is pretty cheap. I don’t like the idea, and it really turns me off to politics in general, but these are the rules now.
We can either adopt them, change them, or lose.
Also, remember: Chuck Hagel was a Senator. Think about that.
Well, they tell women that Romney would have outlawed abortion and contraception.
That’s a lie. First, it can’t be done. Second, he had no interest in either cause.
I agree with Pupster. We will never get away with as much as the Dems do, because of the media. We just have to plan for that.
Nothing we can do will change that. But it can be overcome. Just have to take it into account.
Yeah, good point. Breitbart was right about the media. They are really the biggest obstacle to overcome.
If people want to abort, contracept, and whack their genes out of future representation, I’m not inclined to use the force of government to stop them. Couple more generations and there won’t be any of that crap. Austrian economics — rightly sold — is a winner, and ought to be the focus of every campaign.
Paint the democrats — accurately — as the friends of the people who foreclosed on your house, the people who laid you off so they could get a quarterly bonus; make it obvious that the “1%” has a D after its name, by and large.
And Jay’s right, we need a big, honkin’ ‘puter to run data mining on. The data is already out there to mine, and the methods are dirt simple, just computationally brutal.
Jebus, the pjmedia pdf (second link I posted) is even more depressing than the first one! They are way ahead.
It’s not impossible to catch. But we have to have a culture change at the top. There has to be a focus on 21st century technology.
Or…you know, have some folks on the inside of the other team and run black ops data stealing misinformation on their asses.
Would cost a lot less.
That’s the tough part. People are naturally skeptical of what they don’t understand.
DNC Link = stuxnet
Live one. My facedouche. Healthcare.
I like your ideas, pupster, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
No, I don’t open attachments. Why do you ask?
Carin, she has me so mad, I’m shaking.
Omg, I may kill this person on facebook. She just blamed my problems on the size of my family.
I know, Oso. And this person – not only comes from a very wealthy family, but then married a very wealthy ENglish dude.
That’s where shes coming from. No kids. Very wealthy.
I hope she gets one of those Muslim nurses that doesn’t have to wash or wear sterile clothing for modesty reasons.
http://twitpic.com/c02ikp
Heh, we need Dave on the GOP marketing team.
Cookies!
http://tinyurl.com/9whpwvp
I’m making everybody else fat so I don’t have to be.
Related fat loss pro-tip: If you eat peppered beef jerky, don’t rub your eyes.
Dave knows things.
It’s the government’s job to keep people from being fat. Dave is a cookie terrorist and will be responsible if people at his office get the diabeetus.
Mind. Blown.
Carin, if you don’t rip that facecock asshole a new one, simply on principle I will never speak to you again.
Oh, and this BBF model seems nice.
Mare, I think my friends have done a pretty good job of it.
Carin,
I suppose answering, “It’s not my fault. I can’t help it if MY husband wants to have sex with me!” would be inappropriate?
One question, MJ. Is Trudy a dick-tucker?
Ha. Actually her first husband never wanted to have sex. I don’t know if there is any improvement with hubby #2.
Oh, good Carin. Can you tell me a few of the best comebacks to the frigded hitch?
My friend Stefanie (who I recently introduced to Morons via a facedouch thing) just started flat-out insulting her. LOL.
Sarah Wells showed up too (old time commenter around the net). Mare you should just sign up for facedouche.
Don’t fall for it Mare.
You couldn’t pay me to deal with assfacebook.
I can’t wait until Lauraw shows up here so I can share the money saving tips my facebook friend (named Laura) shared with me. She said she doesn’t have a cell-phone contract, because it’s too expensive.
I’m sure she has some more great ideas, but she had to run because they had dinner reservations.
Perhaps later?
Are you as thrilled as I that the IRS estimates the cheapest bronze level Obamacare compliant plan to cost $20k per annum?
I so love John Roberts I want to fuck his lights out. Permanently.
Wow – This BBF poat is the 100th.
We should celebrate ‘er something.
Oh THERE’s SCOTT. Scott, my commie friend Laura has some great money saving advice for us greedy Yanks you didn’t save for the inevitable lean years. It’s our own fault. Things were too cheap here, and our salaries too high, you see.
We were spoiled. We need to buck-up, like the Europeans. Stop nattering on about high taxes and government waste. So tiring.
Eat your peas.
Well, this is a “special” BBF, Cyn. It’s got a surprise bonus.
Ha. Actually her first husband never wanted to have sex. I don’t know if there is any improvement with hubby #2.
Well, now we know why.
surprise bonus.
Off by two letters. But I ain’t saying which.
I don’t think facedouche could handle Mare, Beasn, Stefanie, and Car in on the same post. Stefanie makes Beasn seem cuddly.
I love the lauraw gif up yonder. But really love the ‘EBT’ whore getting cold cocked.
Every day, I wish I were armed with a taser. I don’t want to kill anyone, I just want to watch them lie on the floor and twitch for being a dumbass parasite.
LOL. We would be a force to be reckoned with,Oso. We could rule the world the five of us.
surprise bonus.
It’s the ass, isn’t it? I’ve never known a dude to have such a chubular ass.
Good day, Dominican hookers.
Off by two letters. But I ain’t saying which.
http://tinyurl.com/b7qbdu9
Wow, that’s some great advice. What does your commie friend do for a living, Carin?
She married a rich guy.
http://tinyurl.com/b7qbdu9
Wow. I guess politics really is show business for the ugly, because the Speaker looks much better in this new apolitical career.
The page said “share this” so I is sharing.
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/02/01/Melgen-Menendez-Investigation-Shifts-Into-New-Area
She married a rich guy.
So: usual commie career plan.
She’s got a lot of nerve being snide to someone with children. I thought liberals were the one with a heart and ‘give’ to those in need instead of rubbing their noses in not being able to make dinner reservations.
I’d rather be materially poor with ten happy children, than a clueless bitch with only a dinner reservation to look forward to.
She gets to say “You Yanks” and “Petrol” now.
[i]a clueless bitch with only a dinner reservation to look forward to.[/i]
That’s no way to speak of Hillary Clinton.
greedy Yanks you didn’t save for the inevitable lean years. It’s our own fault. Things were too cheap here, and our salaries too high, you see.
This is a revealing sentiment. She is a toxic personality. Normal people do not exult in a sad reversal of fortune for people they supposedly are friends with.
This just absolutely boils down to “You don’t deserve to do well. I am happy to hear you are doing badly. I never liked you when you were prosperous.”
This is a typically Euro sentiment toward Americans. Within hours of 9/11 they were talking about how we brought it on ourselves.
So, yeah, fuck them.
Although, it is true that most Americans are not accustomed to European-style levels of sloth, economic stagnation, and rampant corruption. You might thank her for pointing that out.
*gives Laura a standing ovation while throwing roses*
We’ll get there soon. The corruption has always been around, but it didn’t seem to be quite so brazen.
Heh. LW brings a framing hammer to the wine and cheese party.
I think my loathing of all things European and British is well-established, so I won’t reiterate. Their best and brightest all died 3 generations back, today they just have the descendants of Quislings and flat-foots. Anyone who loves modern European culture is adhering to a sick and decadent shadow of what once was.
Lauraw brings the BOOM!
How the hell did you actually become “friends” with that beaker of H2SO4?
Hotspur, I have friends that think Krugman is smart.
No, I don’t know why either.
Okay, we gotta set up the Mika soundboard for Ace and get him to do an H2 podcast with us.
That might actually be my favorite GIF of all time.
Leon, so do I. In fact one of them posts his tripe daily as if it is gospel. But nobody I know would make remarks like that to a “friend.” They were downright condescending and mean-spirited.
Yeah, I’m not seeing the exchange. I suspect the usual lack of decorum, sentiment, intellectual rigor, and human decency is on full display.
I don’t think Krugman actually believes his own bullshit. I think he’s smart enough to say and write what gets him on TV shows, invited to the best parties, and syndicated widely.
Smart enough to be paid a lot of money to be a liberal liar.
Eh, what the fuck do I know? I never read his stuff other than when somebody is making fun of how wrong he always turns out to be.
In other important news, my fortune cookie today, “If you want people to like you, like yourself first”.
Huh. Bless my heart.
He’s a hack.
It doesn’t matter if he’s smart, because of all of that goes out the window to bow to the liberal cause.
Fuck him.
In bed.
Be right there.
Brits have shitty teeth.
You may quote me.
^ that was for Pupster’s fortune cookie fortune.
Also, TIMING!
Ditto what MJ said. Only pretend I said it better and it was really funny.
*trips hotspur, combs hair, opens bottle of champagne, steps across the threshold
Where’s that whore Trudy?
http://tinyurl.com/bgbgwnu
Curses, foiled again.
Those things aren’t dogs.
Fuck him.
Welcome back.
Mmmmm… Champagne
Uh, may not be fully SFW.
Then again, This Is H2.
nobody I know would make remarks like that to a “friend.”
Bingo. When someone you know is not happy for you when you’re doing well, and they turn all smiles when you say things are bad, this is a false friend and someone you should jettison from your life asap.
this is a false friend
http://tinyurl.com/7tmzp6b
Stab toxic people in the face and while burning the corpse dance and curse their name loudly.
But I mean that in a nice way.
You know what Empire of Jeff always says, “If you can’t say somethin nice about somebody *burp* say somethin ugly.”
Mmmmm… Champagne
http://youtu.be/-Fjyo3bFCeA
The only good thing about autotune is that it’s a signal that I’m going to hate the song and I should immediately stop listening.
But, but, but, Friday was an autotune song!
Oh, wait.
Oh, by the way, you racist filth, it’s black history month.
I figured it out. The surprise about our BBF girl. She’s 1/32nd Cherokee.
Bingo. When someone you know is not happy for you when you’re doing well, and they turn all smiles when you say things are bad, this is a false friend and someone you should jettison from your life asap.
Agreed. Last November I had a falling out with two friends from college, cutting me off from basically my entire social circle. While I won’t deny that my own behavior was awful, I will say that looking back I wasn’t willing to admit how poisonous having them in my life was. They are losers, and have always been and always will be. Worse off, because I was younger than they were, but was more successful, there was a lot of jealousy and hostility that finally came to the surface.
She’s got a lot of nerve being snide to someone with children.
Look on the bright side – she never reproduced, so she’s the last of her “line”.
Be sure and thank her profusely for that, will you? 😛
Somethin ugly.
Oh, and MJ?
Mr. TiFW said to tell you he hopes that Trudy gets infested with fleas and passes them along to you…..
I like Trudy.
Good for you for cutting away the cancer, Alex. It’s a hard thing; been there, done that. But, no one, NO ONE, needs that shit in their lives. Life is too short for hatey people to clog it up.
Fuck ’em.
You’ll notice in MJ’s video, Trudy is totally nude.
Except for the kinky dog collar.
Oh, by the way, you racist filth, it’s black history month.
I do not accept Whitey’s concept of “months.”
*waits for moon to rise*
I thought Trudy was cute. Y’all got no taste.
That Mendoza post over at ace’s makes me feel funny in the pants toward mare.
I ain’t going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.
Yeah, I coulda gone all day without that story, dave.
Facebook got me to cut ties with just about everyone.
Cyn,
Thanks. Like I said, my own behavior that night was awful as well (there was a lot of alcohol consumed by everyone and a political argument that apparently turned nasty), but when someone allows you to wake up in the emergency room alone, you know the true value of their “friendship”.
She wasn’t a horse, exactly, but she bore a resemblance to Sarah Jessica Parker.
No one tell mare to look:
http://minx.cc/?post=337134
Horsemanbaby – look for an all new South Park episode.
I don’t think I can ever watch National Velvet again.
What do you get if you cross horsemanbaby with manbearpig?
…but when someone allows you to wake up in the emergency room alone, you know the true value of their “friendship”.
I’d say that pretty much solidifies it.
My favorite part is when people like that start turning on each other and then try to come crawling back. Negative Ghost Rider.
Hahaha…Dave we could make a manhorseawesomething!
“What the fuck, Wilbur?!!!”
when someone allows you to wake up in the emergency room alone
Worst. Tupperware party. Evah.
Hahahaha
Ace is on a roll with that fucking story.
Much like Meghan Mccain who cannot understand basic political concepts (and how calories work), I am 100% incapable of understanding sex with animals or children.
Are you saying Meghan McCans understands sex with animals?
Are you saying Meghan McCans understands sex with animals?
Perhaps she’s progressed beyond large purple polymer items.
Megan mcWhatever is a loser, horse clock sucking meat bag.
Hi mare!
I saw Horseman Baby open for GWAR back in ’95.
Ha! MJ shut your cornhole.
When someone you know is not happy for you when you’re doing well, and they turn all smiles when you say things are bad, this is a false friend and someone you should jettison from your life asap.
I keep having this argument with Mr. Beasn over and over again, about members of my family. I don’t know what it is going to take for him to ‘get it’. Granted, he is one of those good souls, who believes there is good in everyone and my family likes him a hell of a lot more than me.
We had another blow up this week. A family member called and I told him not to answer the phone, but he did. Then, when I signaled I didn’t want to talk, he threw the damn phone in my lap. This particular person only calls when she wants something from me and sure enough, she was true to form.
He says I should answer these people, because ‘what if’ one of them were in the hospital…….and he’s making me feel awful because ‘what if’ my neighbor was. Awful, in that I must be a shitty person for not being the glue to hold a totally dysfunctional/abusive bunch together.
I wish I found $20.
“What the fuck, Wilbur?!!!”
Can you believe that in the whole of this world wide webkin that I cannot find a clip of Bluto neighing at Douglas C. Niedermeyer?!! It’s a damned conspiracy I tell you.
An addendum to the above…if I were the one in the hospital, those family members would be hovering, not with concern, but if I croaked, what Mr. Beasn would serve them at the wake and if I left them anything.
Let them know in advance that you are leaving everything to your children, including their IOUs.
Your wake should be smooth sailing.
I’ve never been to a wake. Is there wake cake?
Beasn, family may be more toxic than anyone.
By the way, nice guy or not that was a Dick move by your husband.
We don’t have wakes in my family, just funerals. We aren’t that Irish.
I’ve never been to a wake, either. I am a terrible Irishman.
Is there wake cake?
Only if you consider whiskey “cake”.
Howdy, producers, 1%ers, scallywags and nere’do wells!
By the way, nice guy or not that was a Dick move by your husband
Yes, yes it was. He said he’s tired of ‘covering’ for me. I said he wouldn’t have to if he didn’t answer it. He says ‘what if they are in the hospital’, I say ‘your point being? If I say they are toxic to me and you keep pushing me to ‘make it work’, you are disrespecting me’.
I mean what is the cut off for the shit one should take from family members before he sees the light. Do I have to get physically assaulted as an adult before he says ‘okay, I understand’. (yes, there were times I felt I would have been had the husband not been standing there)
Beasn, can you just block your family members’ numbers on your phone? Don’t know if you want to do that or not, but it’s a thought….
‘what if they are in the hospital’
*cough*Voice mail*cough*
I’ve been to a couple of wakes – on my side. When the old farts died on his side, we would socialize at the funeral home during visitation.
>> Hahaha…Dave we could make a manhorseawesomething!
I believe
“nice guy or not that was a Dick move by your husband”
I agree with mare on this one.
My wife did that to me once: i pressed “end” and handed the phone back.
I agree Beasn. Some family members are pros seeking out the softies they can use and manipulate.
You are not obligated to be a patsy.
So what if they are in the hospital? Visit if you want or not. Fill a seat at the funeral. Unless it’s your child you don’t need to know immediately.
Beasn, from what you’ve posted about how that clan has treated you, you’re miles and miles past the cut-off point.
Beasn, that is a tough one.
And once again I’m annoyed by the fact that AoSHQ is blocked at my work.:(
teresa, we have a land line. Don’t know if there is a way to do it on a land line other than changing our number and the only reason we have one is for the husband when he works from home.
Chief, we have voice mail. For some reason, he feels guilty if he isn’t there for them or something. They’ve only taken – never given or at the least, helped – and have been insulting…even to him behind his back. Perhaps he thinks he can change their hearts. I’ve told him that they do not have one.
I hear ya, beasn. My wife has a good relationship with her family (I get along with them great also.) So she doesn’t understand when I avoid mine, even though she (deservedly) talks about them in a negative tone herself. She keeps saying “But it’s your family.” No, they are my relatives, not my family. Frankly, I care for my dogs more then 99% of my relatives.
Beasn, check with your phone company – some of them have that feature on landlines; we’ve blocked a few numbers on ours that got through the blanket telemarketing opt-out.
Hopefully, your family members don’t have hubby’s cell phone #……
Ah well, thanks for letting me vent. Between the greater issues happening to the country and work policies, I have no patience for the same crap at the ‘family’ level. Home should be peace.
Clearly we need to keep these weapons off the streets. . .
http://tinyurl.com/b46xuss
Laura, you owe me a new keyboard……
No, they are my relatives, not my family. Frankly, I care for my dogs more then 99% of my relatives.
This.
My family is mostly great. I don’t bother them, they don’t bother me.
We put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunction’.
Mr. Beasn’s family is fine. We get along. They are hard working, old school, very practical folks of German heritage. My FiL is a riot in old age. They were here at Xmas, and the pictures we took has him with a wad of toilet paper up his nose. Seems he nicked his nostril while attempting to trim nose hairs with a straight edge. Wouldn’t stop bleeding (the only meds the man is on, is a low dose of aspirin).
Oh, and the first thing he did, when he came was to go in the bathroom with a pair of very pointy scissors to take another crack at it.
If we didn’t live so close to my wife’s family, we likely would have cut her mom off by now. We might anyway after her grandma passes away as my m-in-law has told both of my brothers-in-law that if she moves out (of her mother’s/my wife’s grandma’s home) that they won’t be welcome to live with her and should find somewhere else to live. She hits my wife up for money every few months and has for almost 10 years now because she’s basically a 50-something woman with less sense than God gives to a teenage boy. Also, she gambles.
I don’t want her anywhere near any offspring we may have, and she’s a half hour away, whereas my folks are a 3 hour drive. My dad may be an avid MSDNC watcher, but he’s never asked me for money.
His mom thought it was funny that her sons accused her of knocking him in the snoot.
It’s not like you get to pick your relatives (with the exception of your spouse). Everything else just depends on where the ball lands on the DNA roulette wheel.
Mr. TiFW’s family is German-descended on both sides – those are some fun people….. 😛
Dan keeps thinking that my family is nicer than they are, that they will finally appreciate me, and that I will regret it, if I’m not “there” if something bad happens. He is also the person that taught me it is OK to hang up, told my mom to get out of our condo, and had my back when I didn’t want to give my sister a ride to AZ, when my dad was dying.
I am the last of my lineage. Have one sister left in Michigan and a brother who lives in NJ (when he’s not in the state hospital). My son is getting married to a Welsh girl. Well it could be worse, she could be English.
For some reason I thought #1 Son was already married.
Today’s pic winner is the the top one listed in the Christie’s Art Catalog under the title “Is that a hibiscus in my hair or should I take my top off?”
Two things learned today
1) There are no pic winners this week
2) MJ is a dick
I am the last of my lineage. Have one sister left in Michigan and a brother who lives in NJ (when he’s not in the state hospital). My son is getting married to a Welsh girl. Well it could be worse, she could be English.
How long did it take her before she realized she didn’t have to “baa” as part of foreplay?
Two things learned today
1) There are no pic winners this week
2) MJ is a dick
———————————-
Hahahahhahaha. Both are true.
I’m glad GMo likes them, though. I think it says a lot about a guy that is that open minded.
Hey, I liked ’em too.
I also like this as response to trolls.
Trudy needs a little dose of Spatula Justice.
Barney Bush died. Poor little guy had lymphoma. Rainbow Bridge time.
Wait, I compliment MJ’s wife…and you bust my balls?
Just kidding. Actually, good one, but dammit there is no adams apple, although I did think the poses were weird so I should know better.
Poor Barney. I liked him best.
Trudy says: No spatula. Beat daddy instead.
Barney >> Jeb.
Mentioned Jeb = thread death.
Why do I have a sneaky suspicion that “daddy” would like the spatula?
She’s still better than Kerry Marie.
More feminine, really. The exogenous hormones are a big help.
Why do I have a sneaky suspicion that “daddy” would like the spatula?
Yeah, that seemed like a suspicious suggestion to me too Cyn!
-but still, what Trudy wants, Trudy gets.
*snaps on rubber gloves and tests elasticity of spatula*
Take off your pants, MJ.
Yeah, we all need a good laugh.
Actually her first husband never wanted to have sex.
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO YOU SPEAK IT??
After the Mooch links, I couldn’t look at anymore.
Links here are like a box of chocolates /Gump
I’ll say this about today’s model and then I’ll sod off as Car In’s brit friend would probably say, “I wouldn’t fuck that herpetic fuckmonster with xbrad’s inflatable sheep’s battery operated axe handle.” Maybe the worst we’ve seen here. Other than that, it’s a good poat.
In case you missed the news
She’s still better than Kerry Marie.
I beg to differ. She’d make a freight train detour down a dirt road.
Ehhh……I forgot to sod off.
Got a phone call from an old college team mate whom I haven’t talked to in about 2.5 years today. Another one of our old college team mates is dying of thyroid cancer which has done gotten down into his lungs as well. Makes me feel old and vulnerable.
What did you play in college, PG?
Busty Heart grew up around here I think.
She used to attend Hartford Whalers games 25-30 years ago, usually when the Bruins were in town. They actually stopped the game once so everyone could watch her walk down the stairs.
Why do I think this Friday’s BBF gal will be Rosetta’s favorite?
Screw it, it’s Friday. Let’s Cha-cha.
*fumbles* Figure 8, right?
Rosie?
Pants?
Uh… you guys know Alexis Sage is a MTF Transsexual right?
Interesting that the presentdent that is trying to disarm everyone in this country did this on Oct, 12.
http://constitutionschool.com/2012/10/02/big-news-obama-waives-bush-law-banning-child-soldiers/
Hypocrisy much?
Yes liquidflorian, those of us that clicked on the links know.
It was a bad joke.
A bad joke made by a total dick.
[i]Uh… you guys know Alexis Sage is a MTF Transsexual right?[/i]
Oh, so I’m not gay.
*informs wife*
*takes offs mud mask*
Yes liquidflorian, those of us that clicked on the links know.
It was a
badgood joke.A
badgood joke made by a total dick.Also I don’t understand html.
*informs wife*
*she leaves me for a gay programmer*
Ok, scott. Fine. I get it. It’s not funny.
Now stop emailing me asking for the proper spelling of Sabrina Vanlentina.
It’s nice to know that we have lurkers that are transsexual experts.
I mean really?
The Best of Both Worlds, then a chick with a dick.
That’s at least 4th grade humor right there.
I’ve never met a gay programmer. They are mostly web designers.
I made this for tomorrow.
http://is.gd/aGN7wJ
Did anybody molest anybody else’s livestock today?
Worst looking jerky ever!
Comment by liquidflorian on February 1, 2013 7:48 pm
Uh… you guys know Alexis Sage is a MTF Transsexual right?
Bwahahahahahaha! Bless his heart.
I wonder how many Friday’s he’s stopped by and never commented until today.
And you people scared him away.
Or maybe Alexis did.
I bet he’s a fan.
http://is.gd/aGN7wJ
I suddenly have Spring Roll Envy.
I bet he’s a fan.
He was searching Alexis photos and found H2?! Even better.
Welcome to our little hellish sandbox, LF.
That’s a tranny that I’ve never seen before!!!! I’m just really good at picking up on these things!!!!
I suddenly have Spring Roll Envy.
Save it for HHD, sister.
Dinner tomorrow should be pretty good. You guys should all stop by.
Go south, and when you get to the middle of America’s wang, you’re there.
Save it for HHD, sister.
Oooohh yeeeaaahhh http://youtu.be/BKPoHgKcqag
I was looking at your uwetewb channel, MJ. I noticed you have a flying fuck.
I was about this close *holds fingers real close together* to buying you that very thing for Secret Santa last year.
You live on America’s Spring Roll??
NTTAWWT.
Cyn, there’s a local sushi/hibachi joint called Nami here that makes something they call a Texas Roll, shrimp tempura, jalapeños & avocado, and they are FUCKING AWESOME. http://namitx.com/
…
inside voice Dave, inside voice.
Rest in peace, Barney, the former first dog.
Here is Barney’s finest hour, when he bit a pesky reporter.
That sounds fantastic, Dave.
I’m dying for some grown-up food. I say we road trip to MJ’s.
*grabs pocket book and pretty hair scarf*
Pups, did you see that I flung some coxmail back at ya?
*a gay programmer*
Is there another kind?
Cyn, my panties get moist just thinking about them.
*looks at the tuna salad I made for dinner and sobs quietly to myself*
Here is Barney’s finest hour, when he bit a pesky reporter.
So, he died of food poisoning.
I know what you mean, Dave; I just got called to dinner.
Pizza. Again. Every. Fucking. Friday.
Is it wrong to want something with a soy or even a plum sauce? Is it?!!!
*trudges off*
Hahahahahahahaha, MJ, you fooled me.
Also, this poat is 37.2% more entertaining when you randomly treat comments as Chinese fortunes and add Cyn’s “in bed”.
>>*a gay programmer*
Is there another kind?
I represent that remark, George. I am a programmer and I am not gay.
NTTAWWT.
**sends emergency package of salmon croquettes, green beans, and spinach salad with bacon dressing to Cyn**
I got tired of pizza every Friday back in college.
Texas Roll
¡Muy auténtico!
Yeah, I got it Cynalicious. Thanks, but I’m married.
I represent that remark, George. I am a programmer and I am not gay.
Would you say that you’re reasonably cheerful?
Sick of pizza or drunk?
Eric,
Would you be ‘reasonably cheerful’ if you were cutting-code for 70+ hours/week and living in NYC?
I’ll be having dinner here tonight, Cyn:
http://www.mrstox.com/
If you can make it to Anaheim by 7:30, you’re welcome to join us.
Heh, scott, both.
Eric,
Would you be ‘reasonably cheerful’ if you were cutting-code for 70+ hours/week and living in NYC?
Depends if I get a meth stipend from my client.
Crispy, I am not cutting code all the time. I belong to a a surprisingly small group of people who manage billions of dollars of clients assets and make more money for the bank than the entirety of Amazon.com. Naturally, stress is high and hours are long.
And George, people from rest of the world are always amused to find that in US, gay means homo. It means cheerful everywhere else.
Hey Tushar, ever read the old MIT Jargon File? Some hilarious programmer stuff on those ancient pages.
BTW I’m gay too. I live in Clownifornia. We’re all gay except for the homosexuals; they’re fabulous.
I CAN make to Anaheim by 7:30–see you there!
Eric,
Funny stuff. I was there, then. They even mention Crowther & Woods “Advent”(Adventure), and the early PDP machines. Watching IT grow, from the IBM-1620, to the 360, 370, 80, and 90 was stressful, but lucrative. I was also shepherding GE, Honeywell and HP mini-computer networks, along with the VAXen.
What an ugly mix of incompatible shit…
It was a relief to bail and go work on airplanes, until I got hurt.
I started on Fortune-100 IT on Jan, 6 1969, and did it for WAY too long…
Tushar is cheerful.
I liked the Jargon File appendices, and the Story of Mel, A Real Programmer.
I CAN make to Anaheim by 7:30–see you there!
I was not aware that you and Cyn were the same person.
We used to have an HP 1000.
Okay, I’m off to dinner. Try not to make any horseman babies while I’m gone.
No promises, Sean.
Roamy,
We had 53 HP-3000s running MPE-3 that all had to talk to each-other. They were scattered around the country at every paper-board(cardboard) packaging plant.
I got into those things so deep that I had a wire-wrap-gun and was modifying the back-planes…
HP-3000s. Are these still oscilloscopes?
DAve the O-Scopes that are worth anything were made by Tektronics, NOT HP,,,
Evenin’, bewbs.
Evenin’ cock and balls.
>>Try not to make any horseman babies while I’m gone.
Wheres that nag, Mare?
whatever. oscilliscopes are for fags
Well, I was talking about the commenters, MJ. But I’ve been informed that your model for the week is a real wiener.
I meant winner … yeah, winner.
ChrisP, my dad worked at a paperboard plant. Continental Forest Industries in Augusta, later Federal Paperboard.
I have probably a dozen oscilloscopes.
**watches Dave fidget**
whaaa
MJ, nice white belt in the video. Is that Karl Lagerfeld #349?
Hold on.
Am I to understand that MJ just faked ya’ll out? With a chick with a dick?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You fags.
Where the hell is wiserbud? He hasn’t banned anyone in ages, but I think this calls for it.
Dave,
Back in the stone-age, I used a Tek-Scope to calibrate the $18 “Front-end” for my TV, that enabled me to watch the Sonics championship season on cable, without paying the premium $$$. If they put the signal into my house, it’s mine. They should have blocked it at the pole.
They had buried the horizontal-synch down in the audio. I dug it out and used it!
Small victories…
Hahahaha. Gabe FTW!
I never click H2 on Friday from work, by the time I checked in the thing was played.
But I will say, well played MJ.. well played sirrah. Particulary the Trudy video
We saw Wiser this morning at the shop, actually. He was having a shitty day. A bannination would definitely improve his mood.
The #349 is from the fall 2009 collection. Don’t be silly.
I was sort of wondering if you would notice.
So I’m making wings tomorrow and there’s a gator in the lake by my house. What could go wrong?
Penis banning.
I definitely think pranks and cavorting should be on order, sir. Gators love a little fun, they like to perform little tricks, perhaps to make the ladies laugh at your party. Some simple party games. Exercises of will and balance. They are into this.
This is a well known fact about alligators.
*curtsy
Thanks, dick lovers.
And yeah, most of them are Tektronics. A couple of Flukes and one minority or woman-owned company scope that’s a Tektronics with their name stuck on it.
Sandra Flukes?
MJ is a sneaky bastage.
I should probably drink heavily to increase my reaction time.
I hear gators are repelled by the smell of raw chicken. Just rub it all over your hands and shoo them away.
Oh fine. We’re gonna have gators in the newsroom now.
*nods thoughtfully at MJ & Andy, while the Gila Monster venom takes effect, and eyes dilate to saucer proportions*
oh, friday
how i have missed you
To be fair, I plotted this out with Cyn a bit.
And Trudy.
MJ gators think dogs are candy. Leave them inside
Sandra Flukes?
No, these honestly work.
I have.. fangs in my arm.. how did that happen? Will there be martoonies? Can I cound to tem.. ? lessmnesee.. ome.. tmo.. frmee.. fo.. fi fum fee fi fo fum rummy tum tum
Don’t worry the dogs will be safe. I’ll rassle that gator after a fifth of vodka and covered in chicken skin. I’m no dummy.
Sharpen the machete MJ tails are easily removed with a sharp one and quite tasty
Gators think chicken is tasty so it is a good match
MJ only gets 1 take
So, Cyn is guilty too, huh?
//thinks hard about what would be an appropriate punishment.
Roamy & Dave,
I’m only biased to Tek-Scopes because my dad worked for Howard Vollum and Melvin J. “Jack” Murdock from the time it was a “Store-front” business in Portland, until he retired, after it got big. Because he worked there, I got his bench-scrapings to build things with, and the use of equipment to calibrate them.
Having access to 1% resistors and capacitors enabled me to build amazing things, while I was young and bright. After I was old and stoned, not so much.
So it goes…
I gotta quit reading the ONT before I end up cutting myself.
I went to find a bookmarked cute puppeh or kitteh and found this meetup pic of Carin, Cyn, PJM, Mrs. Peel, Mrs. Cuffy, and me.
http://tinyurl.com/3jo6bw6
Roamy,
Meatonloch rocked-out with this one.
I’m gonna take a sleeping-pill(or many) and crash…
NYTOL
The job that I thought I had in December is gone. My boat, my motorcycle, my scuba gear, my fishing gear, my guns, are all gone.
Dose alligator wrestling pay anything? I am asking for a friend.
Are bridge lights 110 or 220?
A friend wants to know
**thud**
Doe’s?
Wait, aren’t we all dick lovers?
You’re looking for a horseman baby, aren’t you, Mare?
Wait, aren’t we all dick lovers?
Apparently not Alexis Sage.
Oh fine Sean, so invite the sexy smart funny chick instead of me. Fine.
*files ADA claim, gets Gloria Allred on the horn.*
You’re funny, Lippy.
*files ADA claim, gets Gloria Allred on the horn.*
She’s too old and dry to mount a horn or anything else.
*writes “Cyn is a bitch” in my diary 50 times*
*cries, declares that sean is gay*
Sean’s not really gay, he just didn’t really mind his time in federal PMITA prison.
Sean’s not really gay, he just didn’t really mind his time in federal PMITA prison.
It’s totally untrue that his favorite part was the amateur cell block staging of “Hello, Dolly.”
Lets all go to H14 and leave big old meany Sean here all lonely, playing with his derp.
Too early for the derp. Let’s drink all the Diet DP and leave the cans.
Cyn, check your facechimpdouche
Let’s drink all the Diet DP and leave the cans.
We can stick pipe cleaners in the cans for arms and legs, and model an army of zombie Peppers.
Thank you all for your support in my hour of need.
I’m tempted to make a joke about Oso’s can.
I have no “can”. Physiology of Pueblo Indians. See also Scots/Welsh origins.
Sean, xbrad and Oso’s can walk into a bar…
Lauraw rocks. she could have kicked serious ass on facedouche for me.
I’m had to bring people food late tonight.
No can here either, Oso.
Car in, HS was great. Lippy, at least we know we are safe from Tushy Tuesday and can make fun of BBF.
I just read HS comment too. That was pretty darn good as well.
I lover him. I never get mad. Your FB friend really had me shaking.
Yea, she was pretty bad. But – NOT my friend. My liberal sister’s friend. And I think she THINKS she can take me on in these debates. I know a lot about her, and would love to call her on the BS , but I’m keeping the debate honest.
Oso, I’m part Pueblo too. I also have little or no can and it’s getting worse all the time as I age. I now understand why most if not all the old farts wear suspenders, sooner or later.
I’m sure leon knows ways to give us Pueblo types “cans,” but I’m too lazy to care.
//begins drafting next Tuesday’s “Flat Ass Tuesday” post//
XB, feel free to use a pic from my FB page. Pretty sure I have some Flat Ass pics.
Goodnight Flat Ass Society-ers.
GN Lippy. Sorry about the Anaheim dealio that looked really yummy,but Sean only invited Cyn, because he knew she couldn’t make it.
He didn’t invite me, and he knew *I* couldn’t get there.
I’ll be in Vegas at the end of the month. Hopefully, after I meat up with Cyn.
X-rated meatup?
Probably not. I’ll talk to Cyn and let you know.
I’ve found just the girl for xbrad.
I’d say MJ is more into the sausagefest.
Hmm. Good point, xbrad. Plus, Trudy would just eat her alive.
I’ve found just the girl for xbrad.
http://www.retronaut.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/1140.jpg
Mmmmmmmm…Kosher.
Lets all go to H14 and leave big old meany Sean here all lonely, playing with his derp.
*sigh*
All by myderp
Don’t wanna be, all by myderp anymore
All by myderp
Don’t wanna live, all by myderp anymore
Morning.
Gobblers Knob.
Morning dick and titty lovers.
Mrs. Wiser is out of limes.
That last MIMP gif is better than 5 BBFs that feature actual women.
hi
Did the venom wear off yet?
hi back
Saturday! 1/2 day work today. YAY
Since we worked Saturday and Sunday last week, and were busy the weekends before, and did fuck-all on weeknights, I now have a list of chores, errands, and projects that’s longer than BBF’s weenus.
Encore en Espanol is showing Gremlins. This should be amusing.
wakey wakey
Good morning HorseFuckers!
Sorry, but that Horseboy story from Ace’s had us laughing all night.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/horseman-baby-687431
Now it’s time to ‘get off the bucket’ and go to bed.
New poat shunning MJ