I woke up and realized it’s Wednesday. Conference, schmonference, we gotta put HHD up. A very smart Hostagette sent me this NSFW link, and thank you, ma’am, for the inspiration. “Magic Mike” opens tomorrow, but HHD is now. (click on pics to embiggen)
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
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Wakey wakey.
I’m predicting that this movie may be the worst thing ever.
What say you? I mean, they may be great eye candy, but
gum meh-mem
*yaaaaawn
I watched most of Plan 9 From Outer Space yesterday. That was possibly the worst movie ever made.
Hah, the local news hasn’t shown a poll in weeks, but they got ahold of that NYT poll that shows Teh One up 8 points.
And they are showing it Every. Five. Minutes.
If O actually wins by 8 pts, I’m liquidating my 401k and building a compound in Montana.
I’m grabbing my family and joining Leon if Obama wins.
It sounds like a plan.
Your chickens laying yet? I think I’ve got one laying – got 8 eggs this morning, and only 7 “laying” hens. I think it’s one of my buffs.
Altogether – we’d have a mess of chickens.
We can start a chicken ranch. LIttle Jerry will keep all the girls happy.
We just started the layer feed this week. They are ready for laying, I suspect, but no eggs yet. I’ll be checking on my way out this morning.
Car in, you should have stocked up on chickens a few months ago. Then we could have had the great “Chicken Hunt of 2012” at Lapeerpalooza. Primal diet and everything!
I am good for something Leon, I will be joining you and Carin. Montana, isn’t there a glacier there? I mean really a place where ice does not melt?
Beggars, etc
Mostly, there’s a lot of empty space where we can weather the Obamapocalypse.
Alaska is more remote, and below the mountains it’s pretty temperate. Can’t be colder than Montana.
I don’t want to be in Alaska when Obama sells it to the Chinese to pay for Social Security.
Work time.
Excellent point, leon.
Fuck Alaska.
Dave’s feeling his oats th
Pendejo? Pendejo? Did you have a stroke?
I’ll bet more than one.
Pendejo? Pendejo? Did you have a stroke?
Maybe I should call him and check….
The chickens wouldn’t be happy in alaska.
How to make your chickens happy – the lazy way:
Leave a GINORMOUS – I mean the biggest you’ve ever seen – blue tarp, sorta folded along the edge of the woods. I mean “sorta” so that leaves and dirt and all sorts of heavy shit gets entwined in that mutha so you can’t just easily remove it. Try to remove it a few times, but it’s got a huge rock and a large piece of wood (?) stuck in the folds – the effort of the attempt only FURTHER clusterfucks the entire thing.
Let sit a year or two. (it’s behind the coop, in the woods – so you can’t really see it. Much)
So, today, arm yourself with a knife and bandaids (the tarp is in a mess of wild raspberry bushes) and decide TODAY IS THE DAY. It will be gone.
Start cutting and pulling, and discover the thing is FILLED WITH carpenter ants and eggs.
The chickens will be out there for hours.
I don’t know, I’ve seen a pretty big tarp.
Free protein!
Well, free for you.
The ants definitely worked for it…
http://www.therightscoop.com/soopermexican-calls-new-doj-arizona-civil-liberties-hotline/
Yea, this tarp was on of those pretty big ones.
And, I was kinda figuring there would be bugs in there. It’s dry up here, so I was looking for bugs for the chickens. That was honestly my inspiration.
https://twitter.com/GetMindBlown/status/217977835632070657
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsTRxXvQY0s
*clicks on NSFW link*
Hoo-chee Mama!
Is it hot in here, or did I just hit menopause?
THANK YOU ROAMY!!!!!!! ♥♥♥
http://is.gd/Maga2A
Looks like everyone’s mind was blown for almost an hour.
I’m looking for something irredeemably stupid to blog about.
Anyone wanna take bets on twitter crashing tomorrow. Say…a little after 10am eastern?
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/os-bears-wrestling-longwood-20120623,0,1985718.story
Ho hum.
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Pier_collapse_plunges_wedding_party_in_lake
*cackle*
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/06/24/2865629/nh-post-office-cuts-hours-to-just.html
Gah.
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/06/23/2864598/pet-piranha-bites-off-illinois.html
Heh, this story reminds me:
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/06/27/2870097/police-5-suspected-of-stealing.html#moreb
2 winters ago, the local Tone’s spice factory had several tons of old garlic salt. They donated it to the DOT to put on the road. I swear you could smell garlic on the way to work all winter long.
http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/melbourne-couple-ryan-and-frankie-van-horn-come-out-swinging-for-wedding-dance/story-e6frflri-1226363421515#
This kid has Hostage potential:
http://honesttoddler.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/george/
I’m farming and I grow it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H7zOQrX3U&feature=player_embedded
Where’s that whore Mare?
http://tinyurl.com/838434w
I could tell another chicken story?
I’m tweeting that GML! Cute.
Good morning, breakfast balancers.
I could tell another chicken story?
What, the poat isn’t dead enough?
If you want it killed, I’ll do it. I’m the expert.
http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/melbourne-couple-ryan-and-frankie-van-horn-come-out-swinging-for-wedding-dance/story-e6frflri-1226363421515#
I guess I’m finally maturing and getting all tolerant and shit, but that video was actually pretty cool. Twenty five years ago I’d have dismissed them as fags.
Twenty five years ago I’d have dismissed them as fags.
You’re evolving!
Just remember, Nancy Pelosi thinks that the Occupiers are just wonderful people:
http://is.gd/SB7T6l
(I’m thinking maybe we should bring back the insane asylums…..)
JESUS FUCK I just got two wrong number calls in a row and the guy was arguing with me about who works here! WTF??
“I’m looking right at the website! This is a family number!”
OH, OK, let me look in the closet, maybe a family is hiding in there.
RAARRR
My favorite response: “What number did you dial?”
Favorite Inquiries:
Q1: “Are you open?”
Q2: “What’s your special?” (then don’t listen)
Q3: “Can I get a discount?”
Q4: “Can I substitute xxx, xxx, and xxx for something more expensive?”
http://tinyurl.com/7cbl3tb
*calls laura. Asks about the condition of her refrigerator.
OH, OK, let me look in the closet, maybe a family is hiding in there.
“Oh no, the hump lady, she ees comeen!”
Don’t forget Prince Albert, and the can, MJ.
Heh. I love those calls.
*ring-ring*
Hello?
Is Stephanie there?
This is Stephanie.
Scott came into the room when he heard me raising my voice. The guy hung up on me when I started actually abusing him. Which wasn’t fair. If you give me a raft of shit, you should be willing to take the volley.
*sends laura a jerky boys cd.
Guess who got groomed the other day?
Dawwh.
That’s not a dog, that’s a Muppet.
Heh, does Riley like wearing the bandana? Our old dog used to get a bath at the vet. She would give him a new bandana to wear, and he would go up to every person for the next few days to “show” you the bandana. He was so proud of it.
Awwww…..Riley looks so handsome!
We had a friend years ago whose phone number was one digit off from the Domino’s number.
Every once in a while – if he was in a particularly peckish mood – he would take their order, and then remind them that if it wasn’t there in 30 minutes, it was free…..
Our old number was the old Hertz Rent a Car number. My roommate used to take rental orders in the middle of the night.
I wonder what they thought when they showed up to pick up their car at an empty lot.
Yeah, J’ames, he likes the bandana. He gets a new one every time he goes in. Actually waits there at the end for the groomer to tie it on him.
Riley is adorable.
If that was a bright red bandana, he could be Socialist Realism Dog.
My grandmother’s number was close to Pizza Hut’s. When we were young, my sister and I would take orders whenever anyone called.
The pizza place I work at has a similar name to a national chain. Every once in a while we get a call, complaining they never got their pizza. We have to convince them that they never ordered from us. Up to and including calling the other pizza place to check on their order..
Party lines were interesting occasionally.
“Thank you for calling Pizzazz Hut! Would you like to hear our faaaaaabulous specials?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YooKkyikXw0&feature=youtu.be
>> Which wasn’t fair. If you give me a raft of shit, you should be willing to take the volley.
Fair’s got nuthin to do with it.
/eastwood
I might be willing to take the volley, depending on how close the side of my head is to your hand.
rumor has it that sreenshot from BTTF is fake.
BTTF?
barack tongue-tickles feet
*writhes in agony like a worm under a heat lamp*
You know what is embarrassing? We actually have Joe Biden as VP.
http://www.thelocal.se/41666/20120627/
He is supposed to make Obama look smart.
Wow! Had not heard anything about this.
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/903392-queen-shakes-hands-with-sinn-feins-martin-mcguinness
He is supposed to make Obama look smart.
Biden makes the tree stump in my yard look smart.
Hey, Hostagefolkses. How goes it?
Meeting, ovah!
Affernoon Sky. And everbody else!
*tacklehugs DinT* I miss my Hostages.
Hi Sky. We miss you too. Hope your home life is settling down again.
Eh. Things’ll be okay. I hope. Eventually. Right now, stuff’s pretty fucking terrible, but we soldier on, right, Leon?
Indeed we do. Or we don’t, and then we flip out and end up as a viral news story about someone hopped up on Aqua Velva driving a rented VW bug 88 miles an hour through our home town so we can go back in time and slap ourselves in high school.
‘n stuff.
Yeah. Well, I had my flip out moment. It didn’t end that interestingly. But. Y’know. Hopefully, that was the only flip out I’ll have.
Ember, at your age, you’ve only begun to flip out.
Not like this, Hotspur. I’ve been in a very bad way. Attempted suicide at the beginning of the month, got put in the mental hospital for 72 hours. Am getting help, but struggling with myself. A lot.
Ooops, sorry. I had no idea. Didn’t mean to make light of a serious situation.
Prayers.
❤ All good. How were you to know? 🙂
skylia, i sympthize with your brain fry, as a former, future and present nutter, i can tell you one thing – whatever that you dispare, you have people that care about you
jebus, can riley get any more cuter, my diabetes is kicking in
Oh honey *hugs you*
Sympathies, Sky. I’ve only barely avoided something like that myself.
Tired motherfucker is going home. Please stay on your porch until I get a block or so passed yo’ crib.
“I’ve Been Dead, And I’ve Been in the Dark. you only get this life, its the only game in town”
Sky – just know you are not alone in your misery.
I just had a giant plate of sweet potato home fries cooked in coconut oil. First real carbs in like 10 days. I feel very, very warm.
I think it may also have cured my depression.
I’m starved. Had a banana at about 4 and no dinner yet. Kid duty.
Earlier today when J’ames was talking about his work place having a name like a national chain, I was trying to come up with a McDowell’s, (Coming to America) but about pizza. I’ve been pouting all afternoon because of Sean’s “Pizzazz Hut”. Laughing, but resigned to the fact I’m not a quick thinking Hostage.
I have 2lb of chicken thighs in the oven still. Not sure how much of them I’ll eat. I’ve been eating at a deficit for a while and plateaued, so maybe all.
Papa Juan’s Pizza
>> Am getting help
Good. Please keep doing that.
“Papa Juan’s Pizza”. Heh.
Did anybody ask anybody else if something was bigger than a breadbox today?
My Brain Hurts, where the hell is Mare?
Are you looking to mare to relieve your brain pain, or do you believe that she caused it?
Classic “where’s mare?”
http://irti.co/385
Thinking about Mare may cause neural insult.
Mare.
http://www.gocomics.com/theothercoast/2012/06/27
Sean!
Awright, it’s meeting time. Try not to get your peanut butter in each other’s chocolate while I’m gone.
Roamy!
Have you begun building the ark?
Pupster, I actually saw the sun and blue sky today.
Nerdy AND has coffee.
though the subtitles on that one ain’t right. “Pervert” was in lieu of “gripper” in there somewhere.
Nobody calls anyone a pervert anymore except girls in harem anime series.
L to R
H2, IB
Does IB still exist? Does anyone even go there?
i still get a rss feed every once in a while
I’m going to call someone a pervert every time Hotspur calls someone a dickhole.
Im going to admire Roamy’s Madulla everytime I see a rocket or a cat exploding
I’ll cop to at least some perversion, but I’m trying to get better.
Roamy, there’s about 20 minutes of DDoS loaded up for tomorrow at my place.
Good deal.
Roamy
Boooom!
Tonight’s entertainment will be Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Tomorrow’s will be watching libs cry.
sweet sweet tears of libtards
it is the delicious
I can’t wait to hear the sound of exploding heads tomorrow,
This is going to be the best summer of recovery EVER!
Will enough liberal heads explode to shift the unemployment numbers down a bit, improving Obama’s chances for reelection?
I’m not jinxing the Scotus. Lalala…
BTW, you’re possibly going to see some right leaning blogs talk about Obama cutting the tanker fleet for firefighting. Sorry. It’s bullshit.
Aero Union, contracted to maintain and operate a significant portion of the tanker fleet, was run so poorly, their aircraft couldn’t pass a basic safety inspection. So their contract was pulled. That’s not the same as arbitrarily cutting the size of the fleet.
And aerial tanker operations are such an arcane area, building a new corporation to take Aero Union’s place isn’t an overnight job. Eventually, someone will do it. It just hasn’t happened yet.
This is going to be the best summer of recovery EVER!
If things go right tomorrow, and then in November, 2013 is going to be utterly mind-blowing.
Will enough liberal heads explode to shift the unemployment numbers down a bit, improving Obama’s chances for reelection?
The real risk is that the hiring freeze might thaw slightly.
XB, I’ve been seeing that argument for weeks. I think it has more to do with poor public land management by the BLM. All I know is that this shit gets old. Every frickin year and all the MFM wants to talk about is no burn and firework restrictions. Today’s fire was an asshole beekeeper that nearly set the south Bosque on fire. Still trying to put out the fire close to me.
I have meat sweats.
“The real risk is that the hiring freeze might thaw slightly.”
No risk. Killing his signature bill will create more jobs than stimulus. That won’t look good.
Xbrad,
Aircraft in “Public Service” are pretty exempt from FAA regs. For example, helicopters owned by forest-service, sheriffs department, etc, can be modified, ‘worked-on, repaired’ by ANYONE!
No standards…
The rules are ‘different’ for ‘public service’ aircraft. There’s a lot of stuff about the fire attack fleet that you are not aware of, I say this as a licensed A&P and pilot.
I’m not condoning it, I’m just pointing it out…
Aero Union was not the only tanker fleet killed by this. There’s history here.
Just sayin…
It won’t be spun that way, Scott. They’ll claim the stimulus is finally baring fruit. “See, it’s working!”
That will be a tough sell if the stock market goes up 500 points tomorrow.
Chrispy, AU got into trouble with some public service aircraft. As in, they held the title to them.
“There’s no reason to believe that the movement of the markets has anything to do with the SCOTUS overturning ACA, or with Scalia symbolically burning all 39006 pages of it in a hibachi in the parking lot. The markets move for all sorts of reasons, and it’s likely as not that this administration’s bold move to save the American auto industry is helping the economy rebound.”
-Jay Carney, June 28, 2012
It will probably be closer to 400 points. I will take 417 for the pool.
If it’s upheld, Imma have to click like a sumbitch to move my 401k moneys out of stocks and into something stable, like bullets.
Bed time. I go to sleep as a citizen, and pray I do not awake as a subject.
Xbrad,
Let me just say that there are a lot of ‘public service’ aircraft that I would not fly, nor ride in. And I’m in the business. That classification is totally bogus.
They should have to conform to the ‘airworthiness’ rules that all the rest do.
None of the aircraft that I have been responsible for have ever had a maintenance related incident. If I’ve worked on it, I would fly it.
Hey, it’s not like the wings will fall off a firefighting plane or anything…….. oh wait…..
Evenin’, motherhumpers.
I don’t think the market will move much on the ruling. That said, a healthcare stock I’m invested in got pummeled on Monday when the ruling didn’t drop, and the company won’t even be affected by the outcome.
Luckily some “analyst” noted that today and it recovered.
Holy crap!
The county has gone mad! A man comes home to find his brother and brothers girlfriend with ‘Gun Shot Wounds’ to the head,
A ‘self-inflicted GSW to the abdomen, an animal control officer threatened with a gun for trying to take an aggressive dog.
Dogs and cats living together, where will it end?
I can’t wait until tomorrow…
Today’s fire was contained within a few hours. Local media is still trying to ban fireworks. I’m still lobbying for a lightning ban.
Crazy-Bear,
About the lightning-ban; I think there is someone you need to talk to. HE said HE was not going to do the “Flood Thing” again. He did not discount anything else.
Just sayin’…
CP, I just get tired of the nanny staters. 5 of our 6 fires were caused by lightning. I think Colorado has the same deal going on. Yet the media is blanketing us with fireworks bans. The BLM has a lot to answer for yet their poor land management never comes up except on conservative forums. Durango, Boulder, Colorado Springs, and FT. Collins. JEF is going on Friday to show he cares.
Crazy-Bear,
I think the JEF needs to DIAF, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
NYTOL. Hugs to all Y’all.
Night, ChrisP. SMOD 2012
I’m still trying to think of a funny pizza place. Dan thinks I should roll out the “Jerk Store” Seinfeld reference. He throws the Seinfeld card like a D-Rat playing the race card.
Fireworks bans (at least during high risk times) aren’t as silly as you may think. Departments spend a lot of time answering small fire calls instead of being available for big fires.
XB, responsible people self regulate during dry periods. In NM, you can continue to purchase fireworks from the Indians even if bans are in effect. Just more feel good regulation that amounts to nothing IMHO.
Dont entertain radical peace
Hey there, Hostages. How’s the night crew?
>> XB, responsible people self regulate during dry periods.
What about the irresponsible ones?
Evenin’, Sky.
I’m OK Sky. Like you, going through a divorce and depressed.
*hugs for Batman* Life is hard.
Hey there, Andy.
Divorce is liberating not depressing
It may be liberating in the long run, Sohita, but I am very, very depressed right now. Not just about the divorce, in fairness. Actually, pretty okay with the divorce. The Former Mr. Ember and I haven’t been happy for a long time. But the divorce is forcing me to confront all the other issues with my life, and that’s bringing up some depression.
The irresponsible ones shoot off illegal fireworks in spite of the bans. The same people that text while driving and jaywalk.
The same people that text while driving and jaywalk.
Sometimes, I text while jaywalking! Take that, responsibility!
I am sorry for your depression but what you are dealing with is healthy. You will grow from this. Each door that closes and all that.
I know it, Sohita. I made some downright stupid fucking choices this month, but I’m getting better. It’s all about healing.
I guess I will take my happy ass to bed. Night all
good luck ms. sky
Sky, keep walking when you’re stressed. Even jaywalking. This world is better with you in it!
Thanks, Sohita.
And, fuck, Oso, I’ma walk my legs off. Put in another 8 or so miles today. Forgot how close I was to the San Rafael Park Botanical Gardens in my new house. Fantastic place for a walk.
I’ve noticed. Get a good pair of shoes and walk it out. Write songs, compose, whatever. Just keep walking.
Yeah. I need some good shoes. But, until I know my employment status … well. I’m trying not to spend any money in the short term except on necessities.
Didn’t you have an interview today? I’ve got Prayers out to St Joseph for you and Peej.
Yeah, interviewed for leasing agent today with an apartment complex just up the street from my house. I’ve put about 50 applications out in the last week, only heard back from two.
Sky, hang in there. You’ll be ok.
You’ve still got your looks, so you’re ahead of me.
{{{HUGS}}}
Thanks, Oso. I’m working on it. And thanks to you, too, Xbrad. I miss yer face. *hugs!!!*
I miss yer face
A Florida zombie ate it. Sorry.
Sky, you need to spend more time here. The H2 is an healing place.
I know I need to spend more time here. I miss the H2. Hard. I came in from my walk and immediately thought, “I’m going to the H2.” My roommates came out to talk to me, and Boy Roommate said to Girl Roommate, “Oh. She’s on the Hostages. Let’s leave her alone.” Boy Roommate is smartz.
Peej is going to be soooo upset that Bath Salts weren’t involved with Florida face eating guy.
My “Glad you’re here” stands on several levels. Bouncing back to FB. You know why.
Silly Florida zombies, smoking pot and eating faces instead of brainz. I’m glad I’m here, too, Oso. Really. And, yes. The Facebook has needs tonight!
Who’s the derp private dick that’s a sex machine with all the chicks?
STALKER!
You’re damn right.
*puts Koolaid on the windowsill.*
*gulps Koolaid*
Thanks, Ember! You feeling better?
Meh. Actually, not really. Today was a highly depressing day for me. But I will survive, I think.
Sky, don’t make me go all PollyAnna on your ass. You are going to be ok. When you have sucky days like today:write. Songs, poems, whatever. We love you!
Sorry, Oso. I will do better, I promise!
Speaking of doing better … I meet my new psychologist tomorrow morning at 8am (somebodyshootme – I am not a morning person). Should be off to bed …
Goodnight, Ember. Remember, things do get better. You can quote me on that.
What Sean said. (Mr. Pizzazz Hut pizza himself)
Nice callback.
(It made my day when I saw that you noticed that earlier.)
“There’s no reason to believe that the movement of the markets has anything to do with the SCOTUS overturning ACA, or with Scalia symbolically burning all 39006 pages of it in a hibachi in the parking lot. The markets move for all sorts of reasons, and it’s likely as not that this administration’s bold move to save the American auto industry is helping the economy rebound.”
-Jay Carney, June 28, 2012
Ha ha ha … he says the most embarrassingly fucking stupid things. Like claiming that they weren’t booing Obama the other day in Boston. Haa.
wakey wakey
I miss yer face
A Florida zombie ate it. Sorry.
XBrad, that was July’s funneh, you were supposed to save it. Hahahaha.
So. What are we going to do until 10?
Drum circles!
Good idea, Scott.
In my dream life, I’m helping Scalia warm up the hibachi until 10.
There are other things happening in my dream life, but that’s the PG part.
* Shovels more iPads onto the hibachi *
Pizza Slut.
Little Wheezers.
I was thinking Little Cheesers yesterday but I wasn’t sure if it was regional or not.
BTW: I was laughing my ass off at Little Jerry wearing a gold chain, wife beater, and leaning on a Z28.
Little Joe Biden.
Leetle Yerry.
OMG, I forgot. We took a picture of Little Jerry for you guys.
Little Jerry = best chicken name ever.
I wonder if he’s delicious, too? He’s a rooster, so he’ll have to cook longer.
Off to a meeting. Try to start a new poat. It’s gonna get crowded in here.
Leetle Yerry A-Sign-Field.
New poat